WOMONSPACE NEWS our voice in the lesbian community a y ‘ 4 wane is A Ae ee FF & 3 > \ow k 4 \ i wi, ” a E ae Fh. pe ne } Ae f \ é 2? 5 ; 5 vs ¥ April 1995 Letter to the Editor To Our Casual Readers: | . Each copy of Womonspace News In regards to your March 1995 issue, PY v in which the topic of ‘Lesbian Partner core ono ie produce-saey Abuse’ was discussed, | am writing a month, not including many hours of brief response. I was sP) incerely touched volunteer work. A limited number are by the honesty and courage it took for distributed free of charge, with the the authors to write their personal life intention of reaching as many new experiences. lesbians as possible. If you regularily So often the voices of survivors are pick up a free copy, please show your not heard because of fear of being appreciation and support by confronted OF Havassed Dy Ute becoming a Womonspace member or perpetrator. I believe it is important for else by mailing a donation to the survivors of abuse to know they are not alone in their experiences and that is society, why I was so impressed by the integrity Thank you. . of the articles and the strength it took : —— -~— for these woman to write their stories. Contributors this issue: Thank you. Kerry Kleinbergen, Linda Kropf, Kerry Kleinbergen Noreen Marshall, Karen, L, Ilke, Amy Lee Cardufian, Shelley, Rosa, Voices of Battered Lesbians Lindy Pratch, Sheryl McInnes A resource for battered lesbians which wasn’t mentioned in last month’s issue is an cris audio tape titled Voices of Battered Lesbians. \t Submissions Are Welcome was put together by the lesbian caucus of a Letters to the Editor and other coalition of battered women service groups in submissions are always welcome. Boston. The half~hour recording of women Topics in upcoming issues: who’ve been battered is available at the Gay May—Lesbians and the Law and Lesbian Community Centre of Edmonton June—Womonspace Dances library, and can be borrowed by centre July—Sports Dykes members. Phone 488-3234. Womonspace News is a publication of Womonspace Social and Recreational Society of Edmonton. We are a nonprofit organization. The newsletter is produced by, for, and about Jesbians in Edmonton and the surrounding areas. Our purpose is to inform and entertain our members and any other interested lesbians. The opinions expressed in any issue of Womonspace News do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Directors or the Newsletter Committee, The events, organizations and establishments publicized are not necessarily supported by Womonspace. Womonspace News is produced on a volunteer basis by the Newsletter Committee. We welcome submissions. Material submitted becomes the property of Womonspace. We reserve the right to edit for length and content, and to refuse publication. Articles or letters to the editor may be sent to: Womonspace, Basement, 9930-106 Street, Edmonton, AB TSK 1C7. Womonspace News secks advertising that is lesbian-positive to help defer publications costs. Womonspace does not necessarily endorse products or services offered. We reserve the right to refuse ads. For rate information, and to place an ad, please leave a message on the Lesbian Life Line: 425-0511. 2 WOMONSPACE NEWS SOLO ing different functions, but we’re never so busy that we stop being ourselves. Linda Kropf That, my friends, is the almighty fuel of To be or not to be. To have or not to SOLO members. We always have main- have. To find or not to find. To love or tained a strong hold on our individual- not to love. I sure hope that doesn’t de- ity. To put it bluntly, we are having a scribe what goes through a single great time loving our individuality and woman’s mind at any time. To live, to loving ourselves. experience, to learn and to love—that’s We’ve become a close group of more like it; that’s what I want. That’s friends and because of this, we now what I have. have SOLO alumni. Those women who SOLO ... Being the organizer of the wish to remain in SOLO, after meeting newly-founded Singles Only Lesbian their soul mate—their Goddess—are Organization, I have found that there is staying in as our alumni, providing all an overwhelming amount of beauty in members know that they are attached. It our community. You single women out works for me]! there who are having any type of feel- So this is what we busy women have ings that being single is abnormal or been up to: we hold a Country Jamboree unhealthy, stop it right now. If you don’t every first Saturday of the month ($6 like that feeling, call me and Ill talk to per ticket, sold in advance. Non-SOLO you for as long as it takes to explain members also welcome.); we meet for what kind of feeling and what kind of supper before every Womonspace joy I have felt since being involved with dance; we gather once per weekend, the women in SOLO. with an agenda of potlucks, movie SOLO is a lesbian social club—IT IS nights, Sunday chitchats, etc.; we have NOT A DATING SERVICE. We are here been invited to many camping trips that to create a social environment for all will take place this summer; and yes, we women who are willing to meet new are going to the Michigan Womyn’s people and create a new life together—a Music Festival in August. If you would life that you feel secure in as an individ- like to join our trip, please let us know. ual within your own community. We al- Who says being single is lonely? It ways work together as a club and we certainly won’t be said by any SOLO operate like we are a family because member. So if you ever feel that you that is how we feel. cannot be, that you will not have, that When I started organizing SOLO, I you cannot find, or that you will not listened to as many women as possible. love—look for us. We will be there. Using their ideas, I started the club, and We’d love to have you join in all of I am still always asking the women for our fun. (This was written by one damn feedback. happy woman!) We have been so busy lately organiz- WOMONSPACE NEWS 3 Political Action e you support the inclusion of sexual orientation as a protected ground in the Where to Start Canadian Human Rights Act Noreen Marshall e you want to know how the For many years the Member intends to vote when this issue federal Liberal party has comes up in the house of Commons promised to amend the e you would like the Member to Canadian Human Rights Act encourage the government to deal with to protect lesbians and gay men from this issue immediately. discrimination based on sexual It is important that you also orientation. During the last election, the encourage your friends and family to Liberals again made a very clear write or phone as MP’s need to know promise to us that amending the Act that not just gays and lesbians support would be a priority for a Liberal protection from discrimination based government. on sexual orientation. As we are asking Many promises have been kept and a variety of people to take this action, many bills have been passed since the you will not be outing yourself bys Liberals were swept to power, but the wr iting or phoning. Minister of Justice, Alan Rock, has It is very important to write or recently announced that the bill to phone Reform MPs as they are provide protection for lesbians and gay committed to follow the wishes of their men will be postponed yet again, at constituents so your voice really does least until the Fall or until “the political count. If your MP is Liberal, you may climate is right”, whichever comes last. wish to remind him or her that the Ked Letters to politicians do have an Book of election promises committed impact. If you believe that the Canadian the government to amend the //uman Human Rights Act must be changed to Rights Actas a priority. allow us to live normal lives free from Letters to MPs—c/o House of discrimination and harassment, you Commons, Ottawa, ON K1A OA6—do can: not need postage stamps. 1. Fill out the questionnaire many Members of Parliament include in the Fditor’s note: Noreen ts leaving report they send to your home. Say that Edmonton and moving to Victoria. protection from discrimination for Womonspace would like to thank lesbians and gay men is a priority for Norcen for her years of work in the you, arca of human rights, and especially 2. Phone your MP’s constituency for her cftorts on behalf of Icsbians and office; gays in Alberta. 3. Write your MP and say: 4 WOMONSPACE NEWS Wayward Daughters Whitely, writing in Sisters of the Earth; the child Jesus as written in the Karen Gnostic Gospel; and One is the Sun. Wayward Daughters—Women Future dates have been set and all sharing their spiritualities and faith (an women are welcome. Our next interfaith ministry of MCC Edmonton). celebration is April 30, and will focus Wayward Daughters was born out of on the theme of Maiden. For more a need to share reflections, ideas and information and the location of the questions about our journey as women. meeting, contact Karen: 431-2128. During the weekend prior to Solstice 1994, a few women gathered at Labrynth Lake Lodge. For most of us, it ..-Poetry... was a time to renew our strength and spirit. The weather was ideal for skiing, L walking, snowshoeing and to reconnect Even though I am surrounded by with Mother Earth and her creatures. people who show me everyday that I Around the table and fireplace, we am loved, that I am worthy of that love, I am still lonely. ’ve waited shared our needs, desires and dreams to patiently and now I’m searching. In be with other women along the faith my search I find warm beautiful journey. Our hearts and voices people. They become my friends. Yet celebrated Solstice by singing women’s I’m still lonely. |a m waiting patiently, songs and our drumming echoed our | am searching. When our souls passion deep within us, waiting to be connect I will give you all I have; in further expressed. return you will love me forever. I We chose our name and have know this to be true. Even though I decided to meet eight times this year, following the lunar calendar and don’t believe in forever, we are the exception. Even though I don’t believe celebrating the life cycle of women: in love, we will love. I call to you each child, maiden, young woman, mother, day and night and when the time is matriarchy, crone, death, and birth. right you will come to me and we will Our first official gathering as Wayward Daughters was in February be as one FOREVER. 1995. Although we were few in number, our sharing of different “A lot of strange things have been done traditions and experiences of the in the name of love. In the search for creative child within was very love. And for the love of women. Crazy, nurturing for all present. We explored silly, unreasonable things...” Ann Bannon, Beebo to Beth, in experiences of childhood (ours and our Journey to a Woman, 1960. children) and favourite stories: Opal WOMONSPACE NEWS 5 now Sleep with the door of my room Alone open. I can hear many of you thinking, But Not Lonely so what? Perhaps you will understand when I tell you that last Christmas | Ilke was sleeping on a sofa bed in the study When I left a twenty-year of my ex-partner’s home, and because relationship, I was told by concerned there was no lock on the door, I was family members that I would never barricading the door each night with a make it on my own. Their concern, heavy metal file cabinet plus my though inappropriately voiced, was somewhat justified. I was a student in wooden desk. It was what I had to do to my third year of a psychology degree, feel safe enough to sleep. living on student loans and being I now have the independence I have craved for so long. Occasionally I suffer financially supported, for the most part, by my partner. I had a mediocre part- from insomnia. I used to pace the halls time job, no savings of my own, and of my house, unsure what to do with few life skills beyond those of the myself yet knowing that if I tried to traditional housewife. leave, I would be stopped. A few weeks after I moved in with But what I did have was a dream. It haunted me throughout an abusive and my roommate, I had one of those nights. I tried pacing, I tried a cup of barren childhood and stayed with me in tea, I tried reading and nothing helped. the darkest hours of an equally abusive partnership. I knew, deep within, that Then I realized that now there was no somehow it was possible to live in an one to stop me from leaving if I felt I environment of psychological and needed to. So in the wee hours of the physical safety, of independence, morning, I got dressed, got into my car community and most important of all, and just drove around the city. It was the most freeing thing I could have love. In the last two and a half months, that dream has come true for me, done and when I returned home later thanks largely to the women of the that morning, it was to a smile and an lesbian community and most especially, attitude of acceptance without my family of choice—the women of judgment—instead of criticism, anger SOLO. and abuse. The other night, my roommate and | I am learning what it means to live were talking about the changes that in acommunity. If In eed to talk, there have taken place in my life. She said to is always someone to talk to, someone me, “Well it’s hard for me to see the to phone or have coffee with. When I changes because | didn’t know you need help with the mothering of my before.” Yet for me, the changes have ten-year-old son, there are women who been drastic and totally wonderful. I are willing to spend time with him or 6 WOMONSPACE NEWS with both of us, and other children for learned so far is that life is definitely him to connect and identify with. And what I make it AND that I don’t have to when | attend a dance or other social do it alone. I am also learning that function, I usually have somewhere occasionally being alone is not the same between six and ten dates, thanks to my as being lonely and I am certainly friends in SOLO. learning how to be happy. The other But perhaps most important of all, I night, as | watched my roommate am learning a lot about love. In leaving remove some links from my medic alert the partnership, and coming out as a bracelet for me—just because I asked lesbian, I left my family of origin. Most her to, just because I didn’t know of them cannot or will not accept or how—I realized how truly grateful and understand my new found happiness. I happy I am for my life these days. The miss them, but not as much as | thought underlying thread of fear, depression I would. Because now | am busily and hopelessness that I used to live with involved in creating a family of choice has been replaced by one of peace, and these have become mothers and contentment and a brighter hope for sisters and friends in a way that far the future. surpasses my own original family. To those of you who may be leaving As far as practical matters go, I am a relationship, or have recently ended still a student and still doing well at my one, I want to tell you that you will studies. I have a new job with better make it. You will survive, grow, and hours that pays more money than the learn to be happy again, and you don’t last one. I have a moderate savings necessarily need another partner to do account, but it is all mine. And I am it. The following lyrics have become my learning to live my own life, which theme song in these good and growing includes learning to look after myself. | times I now live in: still experience little thrills of pride each I’m doing alright. time I replace the windshield wiper I’m strong enough to make it on my own. I’m not afraid of the night. fluid in my car or use my own personal I’m learning how to face it alone. bank card. I can only imagine what it I've been good at holding on will feel like to experience the Now I'm learning to let go. fulfillment of another dream this I always wondered what I'd do without you. summer when my friends and I travel to Now I know.' Be happy and at peace. Live in love Michigan to attend the Womyn’s Music and gentle compassion for one another. Festival. It will be incredible and It is what we womyn do best and I awesome and ... well, I’ve already run believe we all know, deep within, that it out of words. is what we deserve. Sometimes the most truth is found in 1 From “Now I Know”, by Lari White, on the simplest of sayings and what I have her CD Wishes. WOMONSPACE NEWS 7 CALENDAR OF EVENTS Apnil Events: Weekly Events: Saturday, April 1 Nature Walk Join the Liatris Society outdoor & gardening GLCCE (Gay and Lesbian Community Centre), group on a walk through Kinnaird Ravine. 104-11745 Jasper Avenue is open Monday to Meet at 10936-81 Street, 1:30 pm. Everyone Friday from 7-10 pm and Wednesday from 1-4 welcome. pm. Peer counselling, drop-in, lesbian coming, Women’s Equinox Dance out group and library. Phone 488-3234. at Riverdale Hall, 9231-100 Avenue, 8:30 pm-1 am. Smoke-free and alcohol-free. Outreach (formerly GALOC); social & Woman to Womon Books will be there. political student group on the University of SOLO Country Jamboree Alberta campus, meets Mondays, 6-7 pm at First Saturday of every month, advance tickets Heritage Lounge in Athabasca Hall. 988-4 166. only; contact SOLO members or call Linda at 447-4776. All women are welcome. Gaywire A lesbian and gay radio show on FM 88.5. Thursdays from 6-7 pm. Sunday, April 2 : Womonspace News Meeting s Lesbian and Gay Badminton Thursdays, Boystown, 10116-124 Street, at noon. Deadline 7-9 pm at Oliver School, 10210-117 St.; $1. for submissions for May issue on the topic “Lesbians & the Law.” Northern Titans (bowling for lesbians and Wednesday, April 5 gays) Saturdays, 5:15 pm at Lynnwood Bowl, Womonspace Board Meeting 16127-118 Ave. 9930-106 Street, 7:30 pm. (Please note that there is no general meeting this month. Pink Triangle Youth Group meets every Womonspace members are welcome to attend Saturday, 7:30-10 pm at GLCCE. For lesbians our board meeting.) and gays 16 to 21 years old. Metropolitan Community Church Friday, April 14 Sacred Circle Dancing weekly worship, 10086 MacDonald Drive, Sundays at 7:15 pm. Open to any woman who wants to dance. Riverdale Hall, 9231-100 Ave, 7-9 pm. Donations toward hall rental are gratefully SOLO (Singles Only Lesbian Organization) accepted. Social club for lesbians and bisexual women (over 18) mects every week for a variety of social functions. Call Linda at 447-4776. Saturday, April 15 Womonspace Dancel Gay & Lesbian Infoline: 988-4018. Bonnie Doon Hall, 9240-93 Street, 8% pm-1 am. Admission is $4 for members and Lesbian Life Line: 425-0511. $8 for non-members. (If you’d like to get in free by becoming a volunteer, phone Rosa at 455-1573.) 8 WOMONSPACE NEWS Tuesday, April 18—Friday April 21 Goodbye Heather Skylight on Vision TV Series over four nights; “Sacred Tests, President to Join Aussie Dykes Spirituality and Same-sex Unions.” 10:30 pm. Heather, our president of Womonspace, has accepted a position Friday, April 28 Sacred Circle Dancing in Australia. Her dedication in serving Celebrate Beltane with dancing open to all lesbians in the Edmonton area, first as a women at Riverdale Hall, 7pm sharp. 9231- member of the Womonspace News 100 Avenue. No experience necessary. committee, and later as president and _ dance co-ordinator, has been very Saturday, April 29 much appreciated. Her loyal hours of Alberta Sings Out volunteer work, her organizational Over a hundred gay and lesbian voices raised skills, and her vision of greater in song! Edmonton Vocal Minority is joined by possibilities for Womonspace have kept choirs from Calgary and Saskatoon, as well as the Edmonton group Unitas, in a combined us vital. Heather’s calm strength, concert at Convocation Hall, U of A. 8 pm. intellectual curiosity, and ingenuity will Advance tickets $10($8) at Orlando Books, The be greatly missed. Good luck, Heather! Ragel Tree, Boystown, and The Front Page; $12 at the door. PSST! Sunday, April 30 Wanna Make Some Money? Crocus Hunt at Redwater Sandhills Liatris Society trip to observe wildflowers at an Womonspace is now accepting ecological preserve northeast of Edmonton. applications from non-profit groups Meet at 10936-81 Street at 9 am. Phone interested in co-sponsoring a dance in Richard for more detajls: 454-2480. Bring your the 1995-96 season. Application friends and a picnic lunch! Wayward Daughters deadline in May 30, 1995. Women sharing their spirituality celebrate the Four dances are available for co- theme of Maiden, starting at 7pm. For more sponsorship. Co-sponsors earn one information, contact Karen at 431-2128. third of the evening’s profits or a minium of $300. Womonspace Saturday, May 6 provides a dance coordinator and the SOLO Country Jamboree co-sponsoring group provides a Advance tickets only; contact SOLO members or minimun of 15 volunteers. call Linda at 447-4776. All women are welcome. To apply for dance co-sponsorship, call the Lesbian Life Line (425-0511) Sunday, May 7 and ask for an application form. Mail Womonspace News Meeting the completed application form to Boystown, 101 16-124 Street, at noon. Womonspace, Basement, 9930-106 Submissions deadline for the June issue on the topic “Womonspace Dances.” Street, Edmonton AB T5K 1C7. WOMONSPACE NEWS 9 Serving in Silence Cammermeyer’s conviction never wavers as she is forced to come out to A Love Story her family, friends and colleagues. “I Amy Lee Cardufian can’t lie about who I am. I'd rather lose “Serving in Silence, the Grethe my uniform than my integrity,” she Cammermeyer Story,” is a tale of one says. woman’s battle against an archaic One of the movie’s most poignant military regulation. Grethe moments is the tearful scene where an Cammermeyer was the highest-ranking anguished Grethe announces to her officer ever to be kicked out of the U.S. four sons that she’s suing the army— army for being gay. and why. When one responds with the But there’s much more to the NBC predictable question, “When did you movie than her highly publicized legal decide to become a lesbian?” her fight to stay in the service. response is, “I think I always knew.” With Barbra Streisand and Glenn Grethe also has to re-examine her Close (who also plays the role of relationship with her father, a tough, Cammermeyer) as executive producers, Norwegian doctor whose love and “Serving in Silence” begins as the simple acceptance she has spent a lifetime story of two women who meet through trying to attain. He admits he refused to mutual friends, recognize their hug his three sons while they were attraction for each other and endure the growing up because he didn’t want flirting/courtship/dating rituals that them “to become homosexual.” His inevitably result. initial distaste for her lifestyle (“Iam Their relationship faces the ultimate sorry you had to say anything about test when Cammermeyer, a woman of this”) gradually evolves into a quiet conviction and impeccable honesty, acceptance, to the point where he acknowledges her sexual orientation eventually tells his daughter, “You have during a routine security clearance a perfectly normal life... Can’t they [the interview. Cammermeyer’s 23 years of army] see that!” superb leadership and outstanding Meanwhile, Cammermeyer’s lover, military achievement prove not nearly Diane—an intense, liberal-thinking as significant to the the army as four artist with both feet firmly in the closet little words: “I am a lesbian.” —would be quite happy to bury her Asked to resign her commission, head in the sand until the whole issue Cammermeyer instead digs in and vows blows over. Coming out—to anybody— to fight the hypocrisy that allows is definitely not her strong suit. competent, talented, dedicated military “Why force somebody to hear personnel to be discharged on the sole something they don’t want to hear?” she basis of their homosexuality. reasons as Grethe prepares to break the 10 WOMONSPACE NEWS