Without Saying a Word Without Saying a Word Master the Science of Body Language and Maximize Your Success KASIA WEZOWSKI and Patryk Wezowski © 2018 Kasia Wezowski and Patryk Wezowski All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other—except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher. Published by HarperCollins Leadership, an imprint of HarperCollins. Drawings by Magdalena Dabrowska. Book design by Elyse Strongin, Neuwirth & Associates. ISBN 978-0-8144-3974-6 (eBook) Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Names: Wezowski, Kasia, author. | Wezowski, Patryk, author. | Wezowski, Patryk. Lichaamstaal. English Title: Without saying a word : master the science of body language and maximize your success / Kasia Wezowski and Patryk Wezowski. Description: New York : American Management Association, [2018] | Originally published in Dutch in 2013 as Lichaamstaal by Patryk Wezowski & Kasia Wezowski | Includes bibliographical references and index. Identifi ers: LCCN 2018003567 (print) | LCCN 2018005276 (ebook) | ISBN 9780814439746 (ebook) | ISBN 9780814439739 (pbk.) Subjects: LCSH: Body language. | Success. Classifi cation: LCC BF637.N66 (ebook) | LCC BF637.N66 W49 2018 (print) | DDC 302.2/22— dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018003567 ISBN 978-0-8144-3973-9 Printed in the United States of America 18 19 20 21 22 LSC 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 18 19 20 www.CenterForBodyLanguage.com Contents Acknowledgments vii Introduction 1 1. The Five Principles of Body Language Intelligence 15 2. Self-confident Body Language 25 3. Positive Body Language 49 4. Negative Body Language 85 5. How Body Language Reveals Emotions 119 6. Interpreting Facial Expressions 145 7. Microexpressions: The Dead Giveaways 175 8. Decisionmaking Body Language 191 9. Practice Exercises 219 Bibliography 231 Index 239 • vii • Acknowledgments The knowledge contained in this book is the result of more than two decades of passion for body language and many years of training in the field of nonverbal communication, in the course of which we received much valuable feedback from many thou- sands of participants. We are most grateful to our certified trainers who have carried out excellent work worldwide on behalf of the Centre for Body Language. We would like thank our long-term partners around the world: Antonio Sacavem and Ana Sacavem (Portugal), Husam Al-Eid (MENA Region), Jose Manuel Jimenez and Baldiri Pons (Spain), Leopoldo Uprimny (Columbia), Laura Justicia (Argentina), Juan Carlos Garcia (Panama), Caroline Matteucci (Switzerland), Serkan Tunc (Turkey), Muhammad Ali (Pakistan), Roberto Mi- carelli (Italy), Eddy Vandeweyer, Jazz Jagarnathsingh (the Neth- erlands), Dana Ketels, Sofie-Ann Bracke (Belgium), and Mills Wong (Hong Kong). We are similarly grateful to over a thousand other trainers from around the world, who use our methodology Acknowledgments • viii • and have thereby contributed over the years to the wider dissem- ination of our approach to body language. Friends who provided us with interesting ideas, partners and course participants who gave us valuable feedback, and other people to whom we owe a debt of gratitude for their willing- ness to spread the ideas of the Centre for Body Language in- clude Nancy De Bonte, An Declercq, Peter Saerens, Ann Van Den Begin, Annemie Janssens, Céline de Crombrugghe, Michael Cianchetti, Don Wells, Geert Van de Velde, Karolina Szczepan- kowska, Magdalena Dabrowska, Saskia Smet, Marie-Rose Mens, Patrick Adler, Susan Ockers, Kevin de Smet, Jean-Louis de Hasque, Tom Coreynen, Tom Van Diest, Dirk Vermant, Robin Vissenaekens, Hilde Vernaillen, Matt Roosen, Carine Cappelle, Guido Poffé, Roland Duchatelet, Wim Hoeckman, Bart Van Coppenolle, Karl Raats, Roy Martina, Pascale Van Damme, Robin Vissenaekens, Emmanuel Mottrie, Gina De Groote, Bart Loos, Guy Vereecke, Frietjhof Croon, Walter Van Gorp, Eric de Vries, Jos Theunissen, Johan Spruyt, Richard Barrett, Bruno Desmet, Wim Hoeckman, Greg S. Reid, Glenna Trout, Dirk Ver- mant, Roland Duchatelet, and Alan Cohen. The scientific and academic information contained in the book is the result of more than 150 years of research into body language. Huge contributions to the generation and interpretation of this accumulated wisdom have been made by numerous professors and scientists, many of whom have influenced the content of the following pages. Consequently, we wish to express our heart- felt thanks to Duchenne De Boulogne, Charles Darwin, Robert Plutchik, Carroll Izard, Robert Rosenthal, Chris Kleinke, Robert Acknowledgments • ix • Goldberg, Edward Hall, Gerard Nierenberg, Henry Calero, Des- mond Morris, Paul Ekman, Wallace Friesen, Alan Pease, Ekhard Hess, Mark Knapp, Judee Burgoon, Michael Argyle, Dan O’Hair, Barry Schlenker, and Ralph Exline. Last but not least, we would also like to thank our many asso- ciates and colleagues, whose willingness to exchange ideas and information about body language and nonverbal communica- tion has had a significant impact on our activities over the years. These include Carol Kinsey Goman, Mark Bowden, Beverly Flax- ington, Renate Mousseux, Ian Trudel, Elizabeth Kuhnke, Mark McClish, Dominika Maison, Robert Phipps, Greg Williams, Henrik Fexeus, Joe Navarro, and Rick Kirschner. Without Saying a Word • 1 • Your Body Language Intelligence Determines Your Success Several years ago, Patryk and I were invited to predict the results of a startup pitch contest in Vienna, where 2,500 tech entrepre- neurs were competing. We observed the presentations, but rather than paying attention to the ideas the entrepreneurs pitched, we watched the body language and microexpressions of the judges as they listened. We gave our predictions of who would win before the winners were announced; as we and the audience soon learned, we were spot on. We had spoiled the surprise. Two years later we were invited back to the same event. Th is time, instead of watching the judges, we observed the contes- tants. Our task was not to guess the winners, but to determine Introduction • 2 • WITHOUT SAYING A WORD how presenters’ nonverbal communication contributed to their success or failure. We evaluated each would-be entrepreneur on a scale from 0 to 15. People scored points for each sign of positive, confident body language, such as smiling, maintaining eye contact, and persua- sive gesturing. They lost points for each negative signal, such as fidgeting, stiff hand movements, and averted eyes. We found that contestants whose pitches were rated in the top eight by competition judges scored an average of 8.3 on our fifteen-point scale, while those who did not place in that top tier had an average score of 5.5. Positive body language strongly cor- related with more successful outcomes. We’ve found similar correlations in the political realm. Let’s look at the last two U.S. presidential elections. During the 2012 campaign, we conducted an online study in which a thousand participants—both Democrats and Republi- cans—watched two-minute video clips featuring Barack Obama and Mitt Romney at campaign events delivering both neutral and emotional content. Webcams recorded the viewers’ facial expressions, and our team analyzed them for six key emotional responses identified in psychology research: happy, surprised, afraid, disgusted, angry, and sad. We coded for the tenor of the emotion (positive or neg- ative) and how strongly it seemed to be expressed. This anal- ysis showed that Obama sparked stronger emotional responses and fewer negative ones. Even a significant number of Republi- cans—16 percent—reacted negatively to Romney. When we analyzed the candidates’ body language, we found that Obama’s resembled those of our pitch contest winners. He displayed primarily open, positive, confident positions congruent