WHEN I GET HOME: A COLLECTION OF SHORT STORIES AND ACCOMPANYING CRITICAL COMMENTARY ZOE LAMBERT Thesis in fulfilment Manchester Metropolitan submitted the the partial of requirements of University for the degree Doctor Philosophy of of Department English of Manchester Metropolitan University .. 2010 ," ý. ýaý . TABLE OF CONTENTS 3 p. Abstract .............................................................................................................................. 4 p. Acknowledgements ............................................................................................................. 5 p. Introduction ......................................................................................................................... Part 1: When I Get Home 7 p. `To Basra' ...................................................... ...................................................................... 14 `The New Girl p. .......... ......................................................................................................... 18 p. `The Bunker' .................................................... ................................................................. 24 `Significant Objects In My Grandmother's Life' p. .............................................................. 27 `What He Doesn't Tell Her' p. .............................................................................................. 32 `The War Tour' p. .................................................... ............................................................. 42 `Fishfinger' p. .................................................... .................................................................. 46 `Lad Lazarus' p. ......................................... ........................................................................... 54 `Down Duchy Road' p. ......................................................................................................... 60 `Lebensborn ' p. ..................................................... ............................................................... 78 `Their Last Holiday' p. ......................................................................................................... 85 `Thermal Vest' p. ..................................................... ............................................................. 89 Mrs Charlotte Manning' `A Biography p. of .................. ..................................................... 97 `33 Bullets' p. ..................................................... .................................................................. Part 2: Critical Commentary Section 1: Short Story Theory: The Quest for Definition 107 p. .................................... ........... Section 2: Short Story Theory When I Get Home 127 p. and ......................................... ........... 136 Section 3: Ethics Voice Appropriation p. and ......................................................... ........... Section 3: The Home Women's Writing 152 p. and ...................................................... ........... Section 5: The Home in War Fiction 164 p. .............................................................................. Section 6: Writing Self: Childhood Home 189 the and p. ............................................. ............. Section 7: Collections Stories: Form Connections in When I Get Home 204 of and p. ............ Conclusion: Form Politics in When I Get Home 209 and p. ...................................................... Bibliography 213 p. ....................................................................................................... ............. 2 ABSTRACT The When I Get Home the loss of home and the effects of war explores collection of stories for cruelty and and persecution on migrants and refugees, as well as children's capacity lyric for The blend the short stories elements of modem violence. one's own potential forms. fragmented horror, travel narrative and more postmodern metafiction, story, fiction I In the critical commentary situate the collection within contemporary short and lyrical by Eileen drawing the theory the theory, on of modem story short story fiction. While theory tends to Baldeshwiler as well as theories of postmodern short critical form is prefer the experimental story over the traditional, I argue that the postmodern not forms. Instead, I that than traditional contend each story necessarily more progressive produces its own politics in the act of writing. I broach the ethics of voice appropriation from different backgrounds how when writing about characters ethnic and ask an ethical home practice might be possible. I relate my representation of the to the cultural and domestic, defend domestic literary debates around women's writing and the and the as an important literary starting point. I contest the ongoing separation of the private and public by demonstrating how I have in spheres the cultural evaluation of women's writing placed I home the at the centre of my stories about war and persecution. situate my approach literature how the home is in fiction by within war and analyse represented war men and women writers. imagination have in I how consider memory and played a complex role my stories about between I the the the childhood. analyse gap speaking, narrating self and seeing, narrated in the that this is by to childhood self story and argue gap used short story writers interrogate the the Finally, I take into the form the practice of writing self. consideration of be in in that to short story collection and contend stories should read relation other stories a texts. Throughout the I the collection and not as single commentary emphasise process of drafting focusing finished in doing, the than the text, writing and of stories rather on and so I demonstrate that there is ideology between form when writing no preconceived and is content; politics written anew with each story. 3 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS First foremost I like to thank the Department English for funding this PhD and would of to the direction I like to thank and allowing me change of my studies. would my team: Vicki Bertram for this PhD Sue Zlosnik for supervisory making creative possible, her detail, Nicholas Royle for his feedback to attention and and editorial eye. I like Margaret Beetham for feedback to thank the would workshops, and encouragement; Mark Hallihan, Helen Pleasance, Maria Roberts, Ana Miller Jennifer Makumbi for and drafts, feedback For I like Sara D' to thank reading and support. many reasons, would also Orazio, Anthony Dawson, Merlyn Taylor, Ra Page, Jon Glover family. and most of all, my 4 INTRODUCTION The first is When I Get Home. The this thesis stories part of my collection of stories loss home explore the of and the effects of war and persecution on migrants and refugees in different historical from the the Lebensborn and cultural circumstances, effects of Norwegian Kurdish One's to the program on a woman oppression of a academic. own for is in capacity cruelty and violence explored stories about childhood and alternative These blend lyric horror, the travel reality. stories elements of modern story, metafiction, fragmented forms. narrative and more postmodern In the second part of this thesis I will situate my short fiction within contemporary writing In I look Baldeshwiler's `epical' theory. the and short story particular, will at notion of and fragmentation `lyrical' to the short story, and go on analyse and self-reflexivity of more I the definitions theories, recent writing. will counter essentialising of some short story and by drawing Frank O'Connor Nadine the attempt a more open approach on views of and Gordimer. While literary being theory the generally sees postmodern short story as more forms, I is in itself than traditional that technique progressive will propose no writing Rather the the text's the progressive and political. specifics of narrative strategies and the the text determine its I then cultural circumstances of production of politics. will broach the from different ethics of voice appropriation when writing about characters backgrounds, find to cultural and attempt an ethical practice. I the home to the literary debates will relate my representation of cultural and around women's writing and the domestic and defend the domestic important literary as an I starting point. will contest the ongoing separation of the private and public spheres in cultural evaluation of women's writing, which Virginia Woolf highlighted in her comment that `this is important book, the because it deals This is an critics assume with war. an insignificant book because it deals the feelings in drawing To do with of a woman a room'. this I demonstrate how I have home will the the placed at centre of my stories about war I literature and persecution. will situate my approach within war and analyse how the home is in fiction by represented war I discuss issues men and women writers. will subsequently the of writing self and short stories about childhood, and consider how memory and imagination have in played a complex role my stories about childhood. I the will analyse 5 between in the the the gap speaking, narrating self story and seeing, narrated childhood self is by interrogate that this to the and argue gap used short story writers practice of writing Finally, I discuss interrelationships links between in When the the the self. will and stories I Get Home its that taking to the and contend analysing a short story without relationship in limits its During discussion, I the other stories a collection or anthology reading. above to to debates focusing discussion will relate my work other writers and critical while my on the drafting the than the finished text. In doing process of writing and stories, rather on I demonstrate is ideology, but is this, that there will when writing no preconceived politics written anew with each story. 6 PART 1: WHEN I GET HOME' A COLLECTION OF SHORT STORIES To Basra It it down I the top Langworthy. I down the was pissing when got off at of walked road turned hat I hoping had the table with my collar up and my over my ears. was mam set and they'd be there, like Christmas: Mam the `Dinner, at sulking over washing up and calling Wendy! ' But Wendy be back, dad his tinkered our would smoking out whilst with model his lap. ships and ate off Hicks, from had home he'd though a private our unit a welcome party, even only done the training. His family decked the house banners tables, like with and picnic an old film. We heard it. the war never end of I hitched turned down It dead No kids up my rucksack and our road. was quiet. You'd think the houses A few had been playing or alarms going or anything. were empty. boarded like they But house like Kew up with metal windows were armoured. our was fucking Gardens, the had been hydrangeas into way main stuffing roses and our two-foot yard. I'd been for only away eight months training and then it was straight on tour. It felt like I didn't home, to But I'm I dodged years. want go not after what went on. no wuss, so flowers door. the the and opened Mam, dad Wendy and were on the sofa, watching the telly. Their faces were a picture. `Philip. Look ' her face beaming. `Hasn't he lost at you! mam said, weight, Wendy? ' Our kid from her I knew grunted phone. what was coming, so I said, `I'll put my bag ' for away, and made the stairs. `Are leave Why didn't you on then? tell ' Mam I flopped bed. you us? called. on my I didn't have much to unpack because I'd left the the base. Anyway, uniform at wearing the felt like fancy dress. I hated camouflage still wearing the boots; they like little were feet. I armoured vehicles on my stretched out on the bed and my boots knocked the end, so I yanked them off and threw them the floor. `Philip? ' on `What doing mam called. you up 1 John Lennon, `When I Get Home', from A Hard Day's Night (London: Parlophone, 1964). 7 dropped it. My ' I leaned bed Marvel then there? the over and picked up an old comic, like kid's bedroom I Adidas boxes. I'd bought three pairs room was a now. grinned at my in different colours with my first wage. I got out the blue pair and held them up. They still smelt new. I heard `Something's I know it. Malcolm, listening? ' mam say, not right. are you `Susan. Calm down. Jesus. ' `He's in his ' not even uniform! I downstairs. `I'm ' I trainers trekked put on my and going out, said, slinging on my jacket. In kitchen, kid in fridge. Mam living the the the our was rustling paused at room door. `Philip, have tea. ' some `Leave it, Susan, ' Dad from the said couch. `I'm leave. ' on `He's just fecking liar, ' Dad like I He like I there. a said, wasn't always spoke I dead buried. `Fecking liar. ' there, wasn't or was and useless I there, down the I It like that time was out of striding road. wasn't mithered. was I'd in from (I the the skived exams year eleven and got caught nicking models model shop them to kids). My to the like I'd killed sold nerdy mam was called station and cried So I didn't do the someone. exams. The be the they'd You'll learn (mam). army will making of you, all said. some skills Make him learn discipline. It'll his bed, it'll do (dad). You some get arse out of that's what don't GCSE's to in. They'll take (our kid). even need any get anyone But then I'd gone on the website and it didn't seem that bad. Good pay. Get to see the Think Soldier. I had the interactive What do? When I world. a go on stuff. would you left for infantry I buoyed the training But 24 long for centre was all up. weeks was a time P. E. lesson in Scotland. a I'm daft. I doing not got what they were the training, trying to break with not you, but fought back till team. Kind like fighting but doing push you you as a of against them, I they this God knows how what wanted. clocked when we were out on exercise with many kilos backs. I dragged behind on our the to breath lean others and stopped get my and A killing tree. I against a stitch was me. could see them all running up the hill, with their like boy compasses and maps, `come scouts, shouting, on mate, you're nearly there' to All I to into ball fuck each other. wanted was curl a and them I like all off. was angry, they'd But it didn't planned. make me want to fight. I'd back, let rather sit skin up and 8 them it. I didn't, I did I to, the to get on with mind. ran on, and what was supposed all way Iraq. But last in had do laps. Sash Hicks team that to our came exercise and we extra and They've back then. their were pissed off with me got own since. At the I turned down to the its end of our road, right and walked play area, with swings the bars, tarmac `No Dogs' I leant the wound around pot-holed and crossed out sign. on I to hang here I in The Dog Partridge. I'd have had railing. used out when couldn't get and them down, but I back turned a go at getting swings someone might see me, so onto Langworthy to the Height. It bit I and walked up was a of a walk and still raining, so hunched hat John be He there. up my shoulders and pulled my woolly over my ears. would liked Sunday, drink he he hamster to start early on a and as much as could till rejoined the John I back. He had job for Argos hooked the wheel. and go way a catalogue and was on He'd been `Soz, but hack it, ' So I'd `Why don't join? ' gym. all, you won't mate. said, you he `I don't ' to and said, need prove nothing. I didn't it to Basra. When flown in from Basra taken even make we were we were to base the Outside like the backside hell, desert airport a south of city. was of all craggy blistering heat. We the floor, the thin, light. I and were staring at under green was on edge, felt like duck, thinking the bombs IEDs, in lightly a sitting of all roadside and stuck that to boom. It hot in armoured vehicle, waiting roll over one and was there, no air I back forth, the lads' heads looming in face, feeling like I conditioning. swayed and my being I helmet in it, bits was strangled and gagging. undid my and puked all orangey and The `Fucking hell Phil, here. ' I hear of carrot. others moaned, get out of could a couple of them My head I had to hold helmet base, retching. swam and my of sick till the trying not to it. I heard the it. I `Puker' spill never end of was after that. Puker. You Phil? Time for is it, Puker? A little lie down? Call puked yet, a nap yourself a soldier? I trudged the Bolton Road. I didn't past shops up to I dawdle if I need march now. could liked, if even all there was to see were hairdressers and florists. After the last shooting year, they were trying to smarten up the Dog Partridge, but it It and wasn't working. was the hole, same old shit stinking of piss and stale beer. The table ripped pool and games there. They machine were still needed to get rid of the multicoloured disco lights for The blaring inside starters. music was and the lights flicked dance around a small empty 9 floor. John in I `John. How was slouched a corner chair with a pint. went up and said, you doing? What's T the with work shirt? 'It's look ' He his back the the the of a manager. sat with elbows resting on of chair. I his through the could see nipples straining material. `On Sunday? ' I a said. `And kit, ' where's your mate? `I'm looking like Not here. ' not walking round a squaddie. round `Wimped like. ' He laughed took out more and a swig. I breathed in. It hot in here, `You for drink? ' was suffocating. alright a `Yeah. Got ' this mate. I back for I It got a pint and went out a smoke. needed a minute. was only six There'd be drinking. Out it o'clock and our mates were coming. a whole night of there was like back tables I down someone's yard with cheap metal and aB&Q awning. sat with my drip pint, rolled up and watched the rain off the edge. This lad How he I don't know. I down, he came out. got served, swear was the image I He track bottoms long spitting of me when was sixteen. was all suit and greasy hair, like he decide he to be hippie. He lit couldn't whether wanted a scally or a up and from his beer like he the tea The barman sipped was queen with a cup. came out, cleared `You'alright Jed? ' He lad. to the some glasses. said `Not bad, ' lad the said. I was chilling out, smoking, when some twat grabbed my shoulder. `Oy Phil. You back? What doing here? ' you I turned round in my chair. It was Bez from school. He'd grown his hair, like the Gallaghers. I didn't say anything. He stepped nearer. `Know I heard? I heard what you're a killer. ' `Easy ' I mate, said. He leaned took but I jumped over and a swing at me, out of the chair. He was I glowering. wasn't getting riled with that shit. `Soz, ' I `You don't know said. what you're ' talking about. I backed how I'd away, wondering back. It get my pint was still on the table, behind him. He like boxer. He was edging nearer some took but I ducked. another swing, The for army was good some things. `Fucking killer, ' he snarled again. 10