VeryNiceWays_FINAL 7/19/07 10:20 AM Page 1 V Are you tired of hearing those same e r seven naughty words again and again? y Very Nice Ways to Say N i c Did you Welcome to a world of truly polite e VERY BAD THINGS W know that there is ways to say the worst. an obscene gesture a y that is both older and Euphemisms serve a greater purpose s more universally than merely keeping the ladies at a gar- t An unusual book of euphemisms recognized than digitus den party from glaring at us over the o impudicus? top of their spectacles. A few mincing S Do you words can also keep lawyers at bay. This a know subtle art of the insult can exact y what digitus revenge without fear of retribution. VV impudicus is? EE Very Nice Ways to Say Very Bad Things RR is also chock full of obscure facts about YY And just common terms. It will be impossible what is BB for readers to find a page that doesn’t the Clinton AA enlighten or delight. Exculpation? DD Why is an TT Likewise HH improcreant excrementum A II male called NN cerebellum shitepoke? vincit? a mule? GG SS $12.95 U.S./ B $16.95 CAN/£6.99 UK ISBN-13: 978-1-4022-0885-0 e Humor ISBN-10: 1-4022-0885-5 r d o E l A l N Linda Berdoll www.sourcebooks.com 00FM.qxd 7/13/07 4:30 PM Page i Very Nice Ways to Say Very Bad Things g w g w 00FM.qxd 7/13/07 4:30 PM Page ii 00FM.qxd 7/13/07 4:30 PM Page iii N Very ice ways to say Very Things An UnusualBook of Euphemisms by Linda Berdoll 00FM.qxd 7/13/07 4:30 PM Page iv Copyright © 2003, 2007 by Linda Berdoll Cover © 2007 by Sourcebooks, Inc. Internal design © 2003 Carol Sue Hagood Internal graphics © 2003 Carol Sue Hagood and Johnny Alvarez Sourcebooks and the colophon are registered trademarks of Sourcebooks, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and re- trieval systems—except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews—without permission in writing from its publisher, Sourcebooks, Inc. Published by Sourcebooks Hysteria, an imprint of Sourcebooks, Inc. P.O. Box 4410, Naperville, Illinois 60567-4410 (630) 961-3900 Fax: (630) 961-2168 www.sourcebooks.com Originally published in 2003. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Berdoll, Linda Very Nice Ways to Say Very Bad Things / Linda Berdoll p. cm. IISSBBNN--1133: 9: 7987-81--410-2420-20828-25-9083-1 IISSBBNN--1100: 1: -14-042022-028-8259-583-6 1. English language—Euphemism. 2. English language—Jargon. 3. English language—Terms and phrases. I. Title. PE1449.B4435 2007 427—dc22 2006100787 Printed and bound in the United States of America. WC 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 00FM.qxd 7/13/07 4:30 PM Page v Contents A spersions, brickbats, carping, cavil, censure, denunciation, disparagement, reproach, opprobrium, reproof, stricture, 1v vitriol, epithets, and vituperation Censuring the Inherent Fool: The Lost Art 3 Shakespeare,Addressing Individual Mounds of Foul,Undigested Lumps of Donkey Entrails 19 Sacre Bleu: Profanities and Expletives 21 Oaths and General Vituperation 27 Silent Disparagement (The Bird and His Friends) 30 00FM.qxd 7/13/07 4:30 PM Page vi C ircumlocution 33 Worshipping at the Shrine of Bacchus 49 F its, disease, ill health, infirmity, breakdowns, affliction, ailment, attacks, bugs, collapse, complaint, confinement, convalescence, v disability, disorder, disturbance, dose, failing health, flu, indisposition, malady, malaise, prostration, seizure, syndrome, 53 a bit of unwell, and what’s been going around Indisposition 55 Going to Europe with Ralph and Earl in a Buick 56 In the Privy 65 Afflicted by Time’s Wing’d Chariot 69 00FM.qxd 7/13/07 4:30 PM Page vii G ender specific activity, femininity, manhood, manliness, masculinity, sexuality, womanhood, womanliness, intercourse between animate beings, coition, coitus, copulation, fornication, generation, intimacy, lovemaking, magnetism,procreation, 73v relations,reproduction,sensuality,sexuality Bewitched, Bothered and Betwattled 75 The Long Carbine 80 Dallying, Firkytoodling and Finkdiddling 83 Sex “Sain et Sauf” 102 Men Behaving Badly 107 00FM.qxd 7/13/07 4:30 PM Page viii A Pea in the Pod 109 Misbegotten 110 Unknown to Man 112 Trafficking with Oneself 114 D aft, mentally strange, barmy, unzipped, batty, berserk, insane, bonkers, cracked, loony, crazed, cuckoo, demented, v deranged, peculiar, erratic, flaky, fruity, idiotic, insane, lunatic, mad, maniacal, nuts, potty, psycho, touched, 135 unbalanced, unglued, unhinged, wacky The Gazelles are in the Garden 137 ’N What? 142 Acknowledgements 144 1-19.qxd 7/13/07 4:32 PM Page 1 spersions, brickbats, carping, cavil, censure, denunciation, disparagement, reproach, opprobrium, reproof, stricture, vitriol, epithets, and vituperation