Tutoring Matters Tutoring Matters Everything You Always Wanted to Know about How to Tutor SECOND EDITION TEMPLE UNIVERSITY PRESS Philadelphia TEMPLE UNIVERSITY PRESS Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19122 www.temple.edu/tempress Copyright © 2011 by Temple University All rights reserved First edition published 1999 Second edition published 2011 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Chin, Tiff ani. Tutoring matters : everything you always wanted to know about how to tutor / Tiff ani Chin, Jerome Rabow, and Jeimee Estrada. — 2nd ed. p. cm. Rev. ed. of: Tutoring matters / Jerome Rabow, Tiff ani Chin, Nima Fahimian. 1999. Includes bibliographical references. ISBN 978-1-4399-0740-5 (cloth : alk. paper) ISBN 978-1-4399-0741-2 (pbk. : alk. paper) ISBN 978-1-4399-0742-9 (e-book) 1. Tutors and tutoring—United States—Handbooks, manuals, etc. I. Rabow, Jerome. II. Estrada, Jeimee, 1986– III. Rabow, Jerome. Tutoring matters. IV. Title. LC41.R33 2011 371.39'4—dc22 2011002812 Th e paper used in this publication meets the requirements of the American National Standard for Information Sciences—Permanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials, ANSI Z39.48-1992 Printed in the United States of America 2 4 6 8 9 7 5 3 1 Contents Preface to the Second Edition and Acknowledgments ix Preface to the First Edition and Acknowledgments xv Introduction 1 1 Attitudes, Anxieties, and Expectations 5 Normal Fears and Anxieties 7 Will the Students Like Me? 7 Will I Like My Students? 7 Will I Be Able to Fit in with and Understand Kids Who Are Diff erent? 8 Will I Be Able to Teach the Students? 9 Will I Succeed? 10 Acceptance 11 Attitudes 13 Giving Up Expectations 14 Displaying Enthusiasm and Interest 20 Feeling Empathy 22 Practices 25 Practicing Patience 26 Being Observant and Asking Questions 28 Interacting as Equals 32 Setting Boundaries and Goals 32 Setting Boundaries 33 Setting Goals 34 Recommended Reading 36 Resources 37 vi Î Contents 2 Building Relationships 39 Making Connections 41 Responding to a Request for Help 42 Picking Up on an Interest 42 Avoiding Gift s and Bribes 46 Building Trust 47 Overcoming Past Experiences 50 Showing Respect 52 Establishing Reciprocity 56 A Few Practical Concerns 61 Motivating Students to Work 62 Applying Tutee Interests 63 Providing Companionship 67 Bargaining on the Relationship 69 Educated Expectations 69 Going beyond Academics 72 Establishing Boundaries 75 Dealing with Jealousy 76 Preventing Overdependence 77 Recommended Reading 81 3 Teaching Techniques 83 Getting Students Interested and Involved 84 Drawing on Student Interests 85 Making Work Visual and Hands-On 90 Encouraging Friendly Competition 95 Easing Student Fears 97 Showing Support 97 Breaking Assignments into Manageable Steps 99 Tying in Familiar Concepts 103 Letting the Student Lead 105 Listening to Students 108 Looking at What Is Not Working 112 Adjusting as You Go 113 Challenging Students 116 Recognizing Student Ploys 118 Recommended Reading 124 4 Race, Gender, Class, and Background Diff erences 127 Anticipating Diff erences before the Relationship Begins 128 Quieting Pre-site Fears 129 Contents D vii Evaluating First Impressions 134 Adjusting to Organizational Set-Ups 136 Riding the Roller-Coaster Relationship 137 Allowing for the Student’s Attitude 138 Putting Your Foot in Your Mouth 139 Coping with Situations You Have No Idea How to Deal With 141 Overcoming Diff erences 145 Fitting in and Being as “Same” as Possible 147 Maximizing Acceptance and Embracing Your Diff erence 148 Opening a Conversation 149 Recommended Reading 152 5 Other Adults: Parents, Teachers, and Administrators 155 Attitudes and Involvement of the Other Adults 158 Involvement with the Tutors 158 General Interest and Involvement in the Students’ Lives 162 Discouragement and Lack of Involvement 164 Assignments and Activities 167 Labeling 171 What Can I Do as a Tutor? 178 Forming Relationships with the Other Adults 180 Try Not to Rely on Labels 181 Recommended Reading 182 6 Good-Byes: Ending the Tutoring Relationship 185 Diffi culties in Saying Good-Bye 187 Harmful Ways of Saying Good-Bye 189 Not Saying Good-Bye 189 Making Empty Promises 193 How to Say Good-Bye: Th e Clean-Break Principle 195 Gift s 196 Talking about the Experience 199 Learning Experiences 202 Recommended Reading 205 Twenty-fi ve Final Pointers for Tutors 207 To the Reader 209 Bibliography 211 Preface to the Second Edition and Acknowledgments TIFFANI CHIN When we wrote the fi rst edition of Tutoring Matters, I had no idea how profoundly tutoring would end up shaping my career and my life. Th roughout high school, college, and graduate school, tutoring was something that I did and enjoyed, but it was rarely a central part of my life. I got my fi rst tutoring gig, as an SAT tutor, when I was a junior in high school. At the time, I was just amazed that I could receive a raise of more than two dollars an hour above what I had been making in retail, just because I had good SAT scores. In college, tutoring was community service: a way to see the city of Los Angeles and to help a group of amaz- ing young children who needed academic support. In grad school, tutoring became, once again, a way to make money. And, through pri- vate tutoring, I entered and learned about a whole new world: the privi- leged and exclusive world of private-school admissions in Los Angeles. During that time, I continued to do community service, the most com- pelling of which was with young parolees, on early release from lockup, in South Los Angeles. Th ese smart, articulate young men, with little to no education, were striking in their potential and in the fact that many would never step out of the lives that they had—even given their intelli- gence and the fact that we wanted to help them. Overall, I enjoyed tutoring, I learned a ton from my tutoring experi- ences, and I felt that I had a knack for it (the kids seemed to do well, in any case). I almost always had some kind of tutoring going on, and I toyed with the idea of teaching, but I never followed through. By the