Marshall University Marshall Digital Scholar Theses, Dissertations and Capstones 1-1-2012 Literacy, Discourse, and Identity: The Working- Class Appalachian Woman Academic Sarah Marie McConnell [email protected] Follow this and additional works at:http://mds.marshall.edu/etd Part of theAmerican Literature Commons,Creative Writing Commons, and theWomen's Studies Commons Recommended Citation McConnell, Sarah Marie, "Literacy, Discourse, and Identity: The Working-Class Appalachian Woman Academic" (2012).Theses, Dissertations and Capstones.Paper 336. This Thesis is brought to you for free and open access by Marshall Digital Scholar. It has been accepted for inclusion in Theses, Dissertations and Capstones by an authorized administrator of Marshall Digital Scholar. For more information, please [email protected]. LITERACY, DISCOURSE, AND IDENTITY: THE WORKING-CLASS APPALACHIAN WOMAN ACADEMIC A Thesis submitted to the Graduate College of Marshall University In partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Arts English by Sarah Marie McConnell Approved by Dr. Kelli Prejean, Ph. D., Committee Chairperson Dr. Whitney Douglas, Ph. D. Dr. Jane Hill, Ph. D. Marshall University August 2012 For my mother, whose voice gave rise to my own. And for my brother, who shared in every moment of my childhood. Long live the Three Musketeers.   ii Acknowledgments Writing is never done in a vacuum, and this is especially true for this project. I cannot begin to account for how intensely thankful (and apologetic) I am toward those who have supported me along the way. My mother, Linda McConnell, likely bore the heftiest burden, and any time (quite literally any time day or night) I needed to “talk out” an idea, read a passage aloud to an ear other than my own, or simply cry, it was to her I turned. She believed in me when I couldn’t (and didn’t care to) believe in myself, and there were several times she urged me onward when all I wanted to do was give in, give up, and go home. For these reasons and many more, without her this project would not exist. I would also like to thank Dr. Whitney Douglas, very likely the only other person who matched both my mother’s belief in me and her constant support. Not only has she been my most influential mentor to date, she has also been a friend, and (probably more times than she cares to recall) a free therapist. Were it not for her consistent affirmations of my ability to complete this project, and her willingness to listen to reruns and repeat advice and belief, I’d likely still be twiddling my thumbs over what to do. Also, I would like to offer thanks for my other committee members, Drs. Jane Hill and Kelli Prejean, for their parts in this journey. And an especial thanks to Dr. Prejean, who assumed the duties of chairperson at the close of this project and has been instrumental in guiding me toward the finish line. I would like to thank the woman I call “Emma” for sharing some of the most intimate details of her life and self with me and for allowing me to include her powerful narrative alongside my own. You have truly honored me, and I hope that my representation of your story honors you in return.   iii In addition, I would like to thank my fellow teaching assistants—John Chirico, Rajia Hassib, David Robinson, Anna Rollins, and Cat Staley. We have walked this road together, and I would have been lost without your companionship. And, finally, I would like to extend my gratitude to the amazing folks at River and Rail Bakery, who provided me with the perfect atmosphere in which to write.   iv Table of Contents Abstract……………………………………………………………………………………….vi “DIE, AIN’T, DIE!”………………………..…………………………………………………1 Introduction………..…………………………………………………………………………..5 Chapter One: The “Discovery” of Appalachia: Creating the Appalachian Image…………..14 Chapter Two: Literacy, Discourse, and Performance………………………………………..40 Chapter Three: Becoming the Androgynous Outlander……………………………………..58 Conclusion…………………………………………………………………………………...81 Appendix: IRB Approval Letter……………………………………………………………..84 Works Cited………………………………………………………………………………….85 CV……………………………………………………………………………………………89   v Abstract Drawing on conversations about the politics surrounding literacy acquisition, I take a deeper look into the effects of obtaining membership within an academic discourse community on Appalachian women from the working class. The tensions that develop between the two opposing discourses promotes a sense of loss as they create distance between these women and their home community, alter relationships, and disrupt identity. Working-class Appalachian women occupy the borderlands between discourses: one foot in their Appalachian community; the other in their academic community. They negotiate their fragmented identities in order to play the appropriate role within the appropriate context. Their status in the academic community is precarious at best, limited and potentially jeopardized by affiliation with their primary discourse community; simultaneously, their participation in the Appalachian discourse community is called into question by their attempts to move into the academic realm, rendering these women strangers in their homeland. Examining the narrative of a woman who has transcended the binary of either/or, I will theorize what I have named the androgynous outlander, a third form with a third discourse.   vi “DIE, AIN’T, DIE!” You can’t be a voice box for your own feelings and experiences, much less for those of your place, if you’ve accepted the teaching that your first speech was wrong. For if you abandon or ridicule your voiceplace, you forfeit a deep spiritual connection….It is nature, humor, memory, vision. It is what we must get back to in order to know ourselves, the “first voice” that teaches us to speak. —George Ella Lyon, “Voiceplace” My earliest recollection of being aware that my way of speech was different from that of “everybody else” stems from our brief move to urban Florida during my second-grade year, when the other kids quickly, though not unkindly, pointed out that I “talked funny.” Although I knew I sounded different than my classmates, I did not yet understand different to mean bad—and besides, to me they were the ones who sounded funny. I would not understand that to sound Appalachian meant sounding ignorant, uneducated, and “hickish” to others, that my mother tongue was an undesirable weed to be plucked out, until I was seventeen and a senior in high school. A lethal contagion, snickers spread like wildfire across the classroom, and each of us tried in desperation to swallow our smiles as the awkward, lanky boy in the third row stood next to his chair, stomped the floor three times in succession, and half-heartedly called the cadence, “Die, ain’t, die!” The ritual, unique to this native Appalachian English teacher, reflected his passion for stomping the ignorant speech of the backwoods bumpkin out of each of us. I’ll never forget the day the harshness of that spotlight shone on me. I said the word before I even tasted it on my tongue. I tried to bite it off, swallow it, choke on it even, but out it came in all of its ugliness. I gasped audibly and flung a hand over my mouth as though to prevent any other vileness from spilling out. Honestly, you would have thought I’d   1 dropped the “F bomb” or inadvertently slandered someone’s dead grandmother or blurted out something hideously sacrilegious—anything more unthinkable that might justify my reaction. I threw up a silent prayer that I hadn’t been heard and, just in case that plea fell on deaf ears, promised my soul to the devil in the next breath. No luck. The teacher stood staring at me expectantly and I, hand still clamped over my mouth, shook my head vehemently. In response, he only nodded with equal fervor. Feeling as though I climbed a scaffold, I drug myself out of the chair. Standing, with all heads swiveled in my direction, I lightly tapped my foot on the ground three times and mumbled, “Die, ain’t, die.” I moved to sit back down when I noticed his hand cupping his ear; my foot fell a little heavier on the floor and the cadence of “die, ain’t, die” rang out a little louder. But still that hand remained at his ear. Heat flooded my cheeks and I knew my face was a shade of scarlet; I mustered every bit of strength left in me, drove my foot into the floor once, twice, three times, and bellowed, “DIE, AIN’T, DIE!” I didn’t look to see if the teacher’s hand had fallen away from his ear; I threw myself into my desk and kept my eyes trained on its surface until the bell rang. I seethed with anger and more shame than I had ever felt. And for the first time, I understood—really understood—that to be Appalachian was to be “different,” and I understood that this different was bad: I understood that to be Appalachian meant I was— somehow—less than the rest of non-Appalachian America. This sense of difference remained with me from that day on and only increased when I left home for college. Even though I had not technically left the Appalachian region, I had the distinct feeling of leaving the mountains. Perhaps it was the more urban setting, but Huntington became a place that was, to me, in but not of Appalachia. And small things that I had not been aware were markers of my mountain heritage were quickly revealed for what   2 they were: Something as commonplace to me as “I reckon” or “God willin’ and the crik don’t rise” became a source of amusement for the people I encountered and even befriended. Tiny jibes and pointed comments (all made in good fun, of course) about where I came from and what I sounded like became a routine part of our interactions with one another. I heard more redneck and hillbilly jokes than I care to count, and my nickname from a close friend was “bumpkin.” Though no deliberate harm or offense hovered behind any of it, I was aware of the underlying thoughts and assumptions behind my friends’ commentary. Slowly, I began to change the way I spoke, becoming almost obsessively deliberate with the words I chose to use and how I pronounced them. I knew I was smart, but I wanted to sound smart so others would know it too. Before long, I could barely recognize my voice in my speech. I began, I believe, to accept the condemnation of the mountain folk as ignorant for fact, and for a time I thought less of those I had “risen above.” I believed that to succeed I had to become like the others: not-Appalachian. Only in recent years, during my graduate work, have I begun to realize the significance of my choice to mask my Appalachian identity. Language—voice—comes from place, and “place is not just location, geography” Lyon writes; “place is history, family, the shape and context of daily life” (171). So in rejecting my voice, I rejected much more than simply the way I sounded. I rejected my voiceplace. Furthermore, by accepting that my first voice and voiceplace were wrong, I allowed to enter and grow disconnection and distancing from place. And, with that separation, I lost sight of an integral part of myself. The desire to rid myself of anything that could outwardly identify me as Appalachian was not a desire cultivated internally; rather, its locus was external. Appalachia is perceived to be something “other” than America, something lesser—a culture of ignorance, poverty,   3