All About The Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave From Mimi Tanner: A Three-Part Discussion All About The Woman Men Adore and Never Want To Leave Discussion of Books by Bob Grant, LPC Including Comments by Readers Copyright © Mimi Tanner Book Excerpts Copyright © Bob Grant LPC All About The Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave This Booklet is Protected Under Copyright Law. This is a Special Edition for the Readers of Mimi Tanner. Bob Grant’s Books Include: www.thewomanmenadore.com www.bringyourloveback.com www.husbandcantresist.com Copyright © 2006 – 2016 All Rights Reserved 2 Copyright © Mimi Tanner Book Excerpts Copyright © Bob Grant LPC All About The Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave A Three-Part Discussion All About The Woman Men Adore and Never Want To Leave Part 1: Putting Your Own Heart First To Win His Adoration "No man is a match for a woman who puts her heart first," says author Bob Grant! So how do you enter the secret world of a man's heart? It's by discovering how to put your own heart first, says counselor Bob Grant. "Men by their nature WANT to take care of women. It's true!" Bob tells us. "When a woman allows her man to take the lead, she is actually using his natural tendencies to please her, because the ultimate joy for a man is in making the woman he has chosen happy. 3 Copyright © Mimi Tanner Book Excerpts Copyright © Bob Grant LPC All About The Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave "If he feels he can make you happy rather easily, he is more likely to try harder to please you," says Bob Grant. "Often a woman's self-sufficiency gives him the impression that she does not want him to protect and cherish her. "One way to describe this difference is the two hearts. A woman's heart, on the inside, is very tender. It is sensitive and empathetic. "However, I have seen women whose hearts were broken, who recover in half the time it would take most men. "A man's heart is totally different. The inside of a man's heart is even more sensitive than a woman's. Around his heart are walls of steel, like doors that slide open and shut, and only open for special occasions. These doors open when he is interacting with his children or the woman he loves, or perhaps in a spiritual moment. "When those doors are open, a man is extremely vulnerable. During those vulnerable times, if someone hurts him or makes fun of him, those doors shut up very quickly. "This is why men do not like to open up much - it's just too scary. When a man's heart is injured, he does not have the recuperative power most women do." "I want to tell you a secret that may sound silly, but will give you more influence with men than you have ever imagined. It's one of the most important aspects of listening to your heart, and it's this: "A woman who puts her heart first can never be shamed. A man can't make an insult stick, or bully you into a behavior, when you decide to let your heart be the final judge of your actions and intentions. "How exactly does she learn to put her heart first? "Most women, when they hear that phrase, have the impression that I am telling them to be more selfish, and that could not be farther from the truth. 4 Copyright © Mimi Tanner Book Excerpts Copyright © Bob Grant LPC All About The Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave "What I am advocating is that when a woman learns to put her heart as the first priority - ahead of her man - no man will be able to compete with her. "If her man is rude and tells her she is being mean and horrible, it does not matter. Her heart will tell her otherwise, and she simply responds, 'No, I am not.' She knows it's not true. "It affects her the same way you would respond if someone said you were eight feet tall. Such a statement is so far from the truth that you don't have to argue; after all, what would be the point in trying to disprove something that was so obviously false? "If he tries to 'guilt' her into something, and her heart comes first, she will not respond. His guilt does not affect her because she trusts her intentions. "A woman who has learned to put her heart first, and listens to it, will actually be a blessing to her man.... "Men will go to great depths to win such a woman's heart... The women who seem to have men falling all over them understand this principle," says author Bob Grant. Bob Grant tells women exactly how to become this woman who puts her heart first as part of his best-selling book "The Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave" at www.thewomanmenadore.com Bob describes in his book how you can enter the secret world of a man's heart by discovering how to put your own heart first. NEXT: Part 2: The Powerful Urge To Make Your Man's Life Better 5 Copyright © Mimi Tanner Book Excerpts Copyright © Bob Grant LPC All About The Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave Part 2: The Powerful Urge To Make Your Man's Life Better When a woman is in love with a man, she can feel fully "in tune" with him - and love that feeling of knowing him deeply. Bob Grant says that a woman can have a powerful urge to act on this feeling of being in tune with her man - by doing things to make her man's life better. Here's a brief excerpt about this from Bob's book about getting the love back in your relationship: www.bringyourloveback.com "All her intuition is focused on 'What can I do to be helpful to him?' "She is also more likely to become attuned to his wishes and his moods. She might anticipate what he wants. "This is an empathetic skill that few men master - or, to be honest, really even want to. "It might seem that men would appreciate this characteristic and never want to leave [a woman like this]. After all, what could be better than having a woman in your life who is trying to please you? "For a man, the problem arises when a woman overuses this gift." From Mimi Tanner: For women, often 2 things are taking place which make them think that a man should respond to them the same way they feel about him: 6 Copyright © Mimi Tanner Book Excerpts Copyright © Bob Grant LPC All About The Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave 1. The sheer power of their feelings 2. The fact that they feel they know the man so deeply For a woman, the feelings are so very strong, and it seems certain that their guy would respond lovingly and gratefully to so much love... But all too often, a woman has taken the relationship much farther in her mind than a man has - yet. This leads to being frustrated, hurt, and confused when a man does not respond. Things get even more upsetting when this same man may take up with a new girlfriend or wife who appears to not care one bit about his needs. So why is he madly in love with her, after all you did, and after how well you know him - and she doesn't? This may have happened to you - or to friends of yours. What's wrong with this picture? Should you deny those glorious feelings of wanting to show your love, of wanting to give? No - that would be denying yourself. The key is to know how soon and how much to give. You also need to know how to give so that men can receive your giving, instead of becoming distant when you give. An email I received yesterday said in part: "Dear Mimi, "I was that woman. I tried to please my guy too fast and too soon, and I did everything under the sun for him, even lent him money to pay for bills and help him..." --"Lacey" (not her real name) Dear Lacey, Your giving nature can be an asset in the right situation and at the right time. But just as you already realize, trying to give so much in order to win his love just backfires. 7 Copyright © Mimi Tanner Book Excerpts Copyright © Bob Grant LPC All About The Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave You don't want to cause a man to see you as desperate and willing to do anything just to keep him around. Hang in there and keep reading - in time and with lessons like the one you've experienced, you'll soon have instincts which will protect your heart (and your wallet). Men respect a woman who takes care of herself - in every way. Thanks for sharing this. From another reader: "Dear Mimi, "This one is me: too much giving. It's not that I do it for him to love me more or to keep him; it's always been me since I was a little girl. I love to share and give to anyone for a reason and for no reason." --"Darla" Dear Darla, Thanks for that email. Giving is important to me too. We women need to take time to examine how we give, when, and how things work out for us when we give. One of the most important ways to make giving work is to choose your recipient wisely, whether we're talking about men or any other situation. Thanks to Bob Grant for sharing with us part of his book, which you can read more about here: www.bringyourloveback.com NEXT: Part 3: Understanding What Went Wrong – And What To Do Now 8 Copyright © Mimi Tanner Book Excerpts Copyright © Bob Grant LPC All About The Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave Part 3: Understanding What Went Wrong – And What To Do Now When a breakup happens, many women start doing one thing - thinking, and thinking some more. They try to figure out why the breakup happened. Counselor Bob Grant says that women do not need to do this - that their first effort should NOT be to try to figure out why a breakup happened. Bob says to focus on getting back together, and that WHEN you are back together, that will be the time to address the cause of the breakup. Surprised to hear that? Here is what Bob says: "Dealing with exactly why the breakup occurred isn't necessary until the relationship is established again, and the man feels safe enough to share and to explore those feelings and reasons." Bob Grant is an expert on why men REALLY break up with someone and what that process is. Women think it's something they said or did - Bob says "no" to that idea. Bob's unique take on the topic of How To Get Your Man Back is here: www.bringyourloveback.com 9 Copyright © Mimi Tanner Book Excerpts Copyright © Bob Grant LPC All About The Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave Bob Grant, a counselor and author of "The Woman Men Adore" talks to many men and women who are going through a divorce. He advises that the first few months after a divorce or breakup are NOT the time to try and figure out what went wrong. "The first and most critical step is to allow yourself time to heal. DON'T isolate yourself. If you did, it would be impossible for others to support you. "The first 6 months to a year after a divorce are hard enough, so don't make it worse. Force yourself to rise from your sorrow if you have to. Get out there and spend time around caring people - now more than ever." Bob says that we may discover that we are always secretly drawn to men who expose areas in our lives that we need to work on. "They push your buttons," Bob says. "The men you date or marry will expose your unresolved issue - always." Take this example: Susan just got divorced. Her husband always expressed anger by yelling. This made her feel out of control. Susan now swears that she will never again marry a man who yells. "Within 2 years, Susan meets and marries Jeff. Jeff never gets angry. Problem solved - right? No. Jeff gets angry like everyone else, but when he's angry, he becomes silent. Susan finds that this silence brings about the same panic in her that her first husband's yelling did," says Bob. "Has she made a bad choice with Jeff? No, but she has to deal with those feelings of being out of control. The situation forces her to deal with those feelings. If she blames Jeff for her unhappiness, she is destined to divorce again." 10 Copyright © Mimi Tanner Book Excerpts Copyright © Bob Grant LPC