U.S. $17.95 • Sexuality/Men’s Health t h Discover the Power and Pleasure of the P-Spot e u l t i The P-spot is today’s hottest topic in male sexuality. Just as G-spot exploration forever m transformed many women’s experience of orgasm, growing numbers of men are enhancing a t their sex lives with P-spot arousal and orgasm. The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, e written by sex educators Charlie Glickman, PhD, and Aislinn Emirzian, offers men erotic g u pleasure beyond what they imagined possible. This indispensable manual to P-spot pleasure i d covers both solo and partner play. Whether you are a first-time adventurer or a seasoned e practitioner, The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure will support and guide your exploration t o of this powerful source of sexual fulfillment. p r WHAT YOU’LL LEARN INSIDE: o s W Handy how-tos on massage, pegging, positions, toys and more t a W Techniques for building trust and talking about your desires t e W How to maintain and improve prostate health p W Important safety and hygiene information l e W Illustrated tips and techniques about achieving supercharged orgasms a s u “This very good book will likely influence many people’s sexual lives, and ways of thinking r e about sex and what it means to be a man (and a sexual man), for years to come.” —from the afterword by Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH, coauthor of Great in Bed Ch ero a t rlie ic e G xp “A very thoughtful and well-written look at this hidden but important part of male lickm lorat a io sexuality. Highly recommended for any man or couple who wants to explore the prostate n n , P fo and its potential for extra sexual pleasure.” hD mr & A en a —Paul Joannides, PsyD, author of the Guide to Getting It On is nd lin th Cleis Press n Emirzia partneeir 1-800-780-2279 n rs www.cleispress.com Photo: Loungepark Design: Scott Idleman/Blink Distributed by Publishers Group West The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners charlie glickman, PhD and aislinn emirzian Foreword by carOl QUeen, PhD afterword by Debby herbenick, PhD, mPh Praise for The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure “This modern guide will steer you past any hang-ups and gently around anatomy’s curves to bring you prostate pleasure and orgasmic thrills you never knew you had coming to you. If you’ve got questions, Charlie and Aislinn have got the answers.” —Dr. Sadie Allison, author of Tickle My Tush: Mild-To-Wild Analplay Adventures for Everybooty “A great addition to a largely underground history that is finally coming into the light. Everyone deserves the sex information that will make their desires consensually possible, safe, and full of pleasure.” —Dr. Carol Queen, staff sexologist at Good Vibrations and author of Real Live Nude Girl “This superb guide combines the friendliness of a good buddy with the savvy knowledge of a top-notch sex educator, explaining the ins and outs, hows and whys, of prostate pleasure, including answering those questions you thought you couldn’t ask anybody. Whatever you want to know about the pleasures and the how-tos of prostate stimulation, it’s in this book.” —Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex “Dr. Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian have written the end-all guide to prostate pleasure. This book will appeal to so many different groups of people—solo, partnered, vanilla, hetero, queer, bi, gay, young, old—everyone who wants to know more about this oft-ignored source of pleasure in one’s sexual repertoire. The focus of this book is on informing beginners through the master level, with everything from dispelling myths to basic communication skills to the how-tos of giving or receiving prostate pleasure. Well done!” —Lanae St.John, sexologist and sex educator at TheMamaSutra.net Copyright © 2013 by Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian. All rights reserved. Except for brief passages quoted in newspaper, magazine, radio, or television reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying or recording, or by infor- mation storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Published in the United States by Cleis Press, Inc., 2246 Sixth St., Berkeley, California 94710. Printed in the United States. Cover design: Scott Idleman/Blink Cover photograph: Loungepark Text design: Frank Wiedemann First Edition. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Trade paper ISBN: 978-1-57344-904-5 E-book ISBN: 978-1-57344-921-2 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Glickman, Charlie. The ultimate guide to prostate pleasure : erotic exploration for men and their partners / Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian. -- 1st ed. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 978-1-57344-904-5 (pbk. : alk. paper) 1. Sex instruction. 2. Prostate. 3. Anal sex. 4. Sexual excitement. I. Emirzian, Aislinn. II. Title. HQ31.G656 2013 613.9071--dc23 2012040224 Table OF cOnTenTs xi Foreword xiv introduction 1 chapter 1: before We start: Frequently asked Questions “So my prostate gland is…up my ass?” • “Isn’t it messy?” • “Doesn’t it hurt?” • “If a man gets penetrated, doesn’t that mean he’s gay/effeminate/being dominated?” • “Won’t people think I’m weird?” • “My partner won’t be into that” • “My cock is all I need to get off” • “I had a prostate exam at the doctor’s and it didn’t feel good at all!” • “Are there health risks?” • “That all sounds great, but I still don’t know how to find my prostate!” 11 chapter 2: The sexy Prostate A Little-Known Pleasure Zone • A Unique Sensation • Prostate Orgasm • Lingering on the Brink • Multiple Orgasms • The Prostate’s Role in Anal Pleasure • Other Reasons to Enjoy Pros- tate Stimulation 36 chapter 3: What is the Prostate? Prostate Anatomy • Phases of Ejaculation • The Male G-Spot? • About Nerves 51 chapter 4: hygiene Quick Tips for More Hygienic Anal Play • Enemas • Safer Sex Barriers • Hair Removal 69 chapter 5: Penetration 101 The Prostate and Then Some • Penetration: The Basics • If It Hurts • Slow and Steady Wins the Race • Making It Feel Good 90 chapter 6: searching for “the magic button” Finding It Is Not Just about Location • The Mind–Body Connec- tion • Realistic Expectations • Learning to Receive • Arousal • To Stroke, or Not to Stroke (Your Cock) • Rewiring • Open to the Sensation • Two Approaches: Tantra and Fantasy • What You Might Feel 118 chapter 7: Find it: locating the gland Set the Scene • Solo Exploration: Locate the Prostate • Feeling for It: Guided Solo Exploration • Partnered Exploration: Locate the Prostate 146 chapter 8: bringing Up the Topic: a guide for him and her Why Guy–Girl Couples Are Enjoying Prostate Play • The Benefits of Taking Turns • Reasons for Hesitation • Open the Conversation • Be Flexible 156 chapter 9: Prostate massage What Is Prostate Massage? • Tips for Combining with Cock Play • How Many Fingers? • Massage Strokes • Fisting 187 chapter 10: The “sweet spot”: massaging the Perineum Why the Sweet Spot Feels Good • Finding the Sweet Spot • Find Your Own • Partner Massage • “I Don’t Feel Anything” 198 chapter 11: Toys Lube • Toy Tips • Butt Plugs • Made with the Prostate in Mind • G-Spot Toys • Vibrators • Dildos • Strap-on Harnesses for Him and Her • Inflatables • Electrostim • Urethral Sounds • Toy Materials and Cleaning 233 chapter 12: anal sex and strap-on Fucking Technique • Positions • Pegging: Strap-on Sex for Guy–Girl Couples 257 chapter 13: real men Don’t Does It Make Me Less of a Man? • The “Act Like a Man” Box • Outside the Box Is a Scary Place • Why the Box Is Nonsense • Picking and Choosing from the Box • Back to Prostate Play • It’s Up to You 275 chapter 14: Prostate health Prostatitis • Prostate Health Tips • Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia (BPH) • Prostate Cancer • Sex after Prostate Cancer Treatment 299 chapter 15: Possible benefits of Prostate massage How May Prostate Massage Be Beneficial? • A Little History • Can Massage Help Prevent Prostate Cancer? • DIY Prostate Massage for Health 319 conclusion 321 afterword 325 resources 333 endnotes 342 about the authors 344 index illUsTraTiOns 1. Male Anatomy, page 37 2. Course of Sperm, page 40 3. Solo Massage Position: Reach around Back, page 123 4. Partner Massage Position: On His Back, page 139 5. Partner Massage Position: Hands and Knees, page 141 6. Partner Massage Position: Standing at Wall, page 142 7. Don’t Poke It—Stroke It!, page 158 8. Side to Side, page 168 9. In and Out, page 169 10. Circles, page 170 11. Come-Hither Curl, page 171 12. Come-Hither Tug, page 171 13. Come-Hither Slide, page 171 14. Vibration, page 173 15. Jostling, page 174 16. Tapping, page 175 17. Twisting, page 176 18. Scissors, page 177 19. The Duck’s Bill: Hand Position for Fisting Penetration, page 179 20. The Perineum, page 188 21. Toys with Flared Bases, page 205 22. Prostate Toys, page 213 23. Electric Vibes and Attachments: Wahl Coil with Suction Cup Attachment; Hitachi Magic Wand with G-Spotter Attachment, page 216 24. Curved Dildos, page 217 25. Woman Wearing Strap-on Harness and Dildo, page 219 26. Jockstrap-Style Strap-on Harness, page 223 27. Strap-on Double Dildos, page 224 28. Holding His Legs Up, page 247 29. Improvised Portable Sling, Step 1, page 249 30. Improvised Portable Sling, Step 2, page 249 FOREWORD Even though we live in a time when anal sex movies are avail- able at just a mouse click, anal pleasure—especially for men— remains a topic about which most people have never received good information. Sex education as a whole, in fact, doesn’t serve to promote or explore pleasure; people have to figure that part out on their own, and many don’t have time, ready access to information, or even the understanding that sex could feel better to them than it does right now. Still others cannot, for personal reasons, prioritize pleasure—after all, we are still getting mainstream messages that sex is primarily for reproduction, though that is hardly the only sexual message we hear. It has become a very lively discussion, if you know where to look for alternative perspectives.