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The Times Magazine - 30 July 2022 PDF

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Preview The Times Magazine - 30 July 2022

MAGAZINE OF THE YEAR 2 2 7. 0 . 0 3 INSIDE THE MIND OF A TEENAGE DRUG DEALER By Rachel Sylvester GENHEORWA TTHIEO BINKI NFIL SEALUFIEN WTE NITT G LOBAL 30.07.22 44 27 Eat! THE NEW BLONDE RULES 8 SUMMER CLASSICS 5 caitlin moran Nothing beats a Midlands Man. 7 What i’ve learnt Ballet saved me from poverty, says Carlos Acosta. 8 cover story Generation flaunt it How twentysomethings became hooked on bikini selfies. 12 ‘no respect for truth and integrity’ Lord Mackay, a veteran of four decades of political service, delivers his verdict on Boris Johnson. 16 our holiday hell Delayed passports, cancelled flights… the diary of one family’s attempt to get away this summer. By Louise Carpenter. 20 inside the mind of a teenage dealer Rachel Sylvester meets the middle-class boy who began selling drugs aged 13. 24 Excess all areas Cocaine, office porn, spending sprees – two former bankers come clean about life in the City. 27 Eat! Eight classic tomato recipes. 40 Who needs sat-nav? Meet the man behind the app that divides the world into 57 trillion squares, each given a 3-word code. 44 to dye for Blonde is back – beachier than ever, says Harriet Walker. 48 pout! Nadine Baggott’s top buys for the over-sixties. 52 nadiya hussain bakes Cherry and rose blondies. 58 beta male: robert crampton My swimming pool trouble. And other first-world problems. Melanie Reid and Giles Coren are away FAB FIVE: SNORKEL SETS D R O O S F A M O R D, RS LT RTS PE BE COVER: DEAN DROBOT/SHUTTERSTOCK. THIS PAGE: GETTY IMAGES, TIMES NEWSPA dTEidTohithreo£re d m8NEX dp6IC aue0bOttsyL cEi A(Aghdu rJnitiEnc oAedghLirrr . d EAcfoEciotptnpuo,mstrt iy £J)oc OEo6nd Pis.8Lt tEo 0 rN TL OdEUpISuEt yFC mRclGaeAhiiNnnoEkCfs P EEbse ruAe’sbors; -t f E y (idddtmoiitrtiueEoivcrdk t cECe oawHr s RsndCiItSH tiha vRRol IeISLpsrs EoHrtYEIo eT pm,Csri cHce£otCr.uucO7irpoCEn7 Ktm.Eti 3d Aoai)st6nso or c AiANtNEsA En dBIoibAntroSacrkSgl EJAeuTA l(qTdN,u Edeufk EaMspA. cUuaaLtLeqydKu uEmpjnRuiacRaGstlIuNtus,raSk nE £bA gEasld6.senciit6 sodoftriAm ngnLUtse) C,Ea Ydri tD oArL ETOY NcYo nTtUfropRAidbNgruiBEgetrUicv inLcnGeLAi g nErftd EctuihAstutop uLltrr aho (EBtasenRi rIEoD,ldg eGni£tonE oTssrs2 y. H Mc3fsAroOt.Roe8.NRumImI0QSkUO )E N REIdViAtoLLrAiANLD A scbshiirsE(tDfecA asnheuttisb chGm-igEEhindOinieiRtgmeyoG;rd eINi aA w,AfnM o Re£AtrOiaN1- BDreU0E.AacR0 VLTsoISiN melFeOr)n O Ts CHOSEN BY GEORGINA RO The Times Magazine 3 CAITLIN MORAN I’ve been married to a Midlands Man for 23 years. All straight women should have one W ith so much of Midlands have, in the absence of any sitcoms, current debate – movies or books being written about them, on any subject used this vacuum to quietly invent a very – inevitably viable alternative template for Being A Man. reaching a point What is a typical Midlands Man? He’s 45, where people lives in a semi, has two kids and a wife he scream, “Yeah adores, and eschews trousers for 90 per cent – but what is a of the year in favour of knee-length shorts, a woman?”, with nod to his teenage obsession with the Red Hot unedifying results all around, I want to make Chili Peppers. He’s 5ft 9in with a dad bod, his a suggestion that we start asking another motto is, “I dow like to mek a fuss,” and he can question, just to see if it helps in any way. defuse most heated situations by employing And that question is: what is a man? We never the very downbeat, almost lachrymose seem to ask that question. Because it’s, like… humour of the Midlands. (“I’ll be honest a man, right? We all know what a man is. – I can’t be arsed to fight, bab. Pint?”) What a dumb question to ask. Sandwiched between the alphas of From what I can work out, taken to its the north and south, Midlands Man has most essential elements, “a man” has not basically perfected the art of being a very changed since his attributes were listed in content beta, with an accent that has never Bonnie Tyler’s Holding Out for a Hero in 1984: been cool and the silliest pantheon of local a “streetwise Hercules” on a “fiery steed” (not heroes of any province. (Noddy Holder! Dave sure how useful a horse on fire is, especially Hill! Lenny Henry! Roy Wood! Adrian Chiles! in this weather, but still), who’s “fresh from the Goldie! Frank Skinner! The bloke who played fight”, “strong” and “larger than life”. Got you, R2-D2!) Midlands Man quietly accepted he Bonnie. Basically, over 5ft 10in and handy in a would never be able to compete as an alpha, ruck. Your classic alpha male. and so saved himself a lifetime of bench- But may I suggest we broaden that definition pressing and fighting in car parks. And a bit? It’s just that, whenever you look at a Midlands Man is touchingly straightforward list of what makes modern men unhappy, and honest about emotions – both his and it’s a) women flicking past them on Tinder if other people’s. As I was up in the Midlands for they’re under 5ft 8in, b) the growing pressure a funeral, I got to see how Midlands Man has to look like some ripped orange hunk on Love perfected the gentle knack of turning up on Island, c) the possibility of getting into a fight a doorstep saying, “Just come over to see how with some lunatic with a knife, and d) mental you’re doing, love?” and then having a very health problems still so unaddressed that the simple but emotionally literate conversation primary cause of death for men under 50 is while mending someone’s knackered rotary suicide. In other words, being Bonnie Tyler’s dryer. “Ah, it’s a bugger, mate,” he’ll say, before alpha hero works out quite badly on a day-to- offering a proper, heartfelt beta hug. day basis. If I could do one thing to improve the lives I’d like to passionately suggest that the of women, it would be to make my generation Lexicon of Possible Types of Men needs the last for whom Holding Out for a Hero Midlands Man is expanding a bit. And on a recent visit back works as a “Would like to meet” list when to the Midlands, I realised that, within our 5ft 9in with a dad dating. Ladies, 90 per cent of any relationship nation, we have the perfect archetype for this: is a) watching telly while making sarcastic the Midlands Man. comments, and b) laundry. A “streetwise bod. He defuses most The Midlands is an intriguing place, Hercules” is going to be shit at both – plus, psychologically, for a man to be raised. storage for a horse on fire will be a bugger. rows with, ‘I can’t Northern men basically try to be swaggering Get yourselves a comfortable, happy-in- Liam Gallaghers with what we might refer themselves Midlands beta instead. I’ve been be arsed to fight, to as “self-diagnosed” wit; southern men are married to one for over 20 years, and it’s just either crafty Cockneys or monied Patrick – as Midlands Man would say – “dead nice”. bab. Pint?’ ON Batemans. With the Midlands caught in a And men, if the question “What is a S WIL geographical no man’s land – rejected by the man?” starts being hurled at you, simply reply, RT north for being “too southern” and the south “I’m just gonna get on the M42, come off at BE RO for being “too northern” – the men of the Junction 6 for Acocks Green, and find out.” n The Times Magazine 5 What I’ve learnt Carlos Acosta The dancer and choreographer Carlos Acosta, 49, was born in Havana, Cuba. ‘Why do another Swan Lake in He trained at the Cuban National Ballet School and has danced with my forties? You can’t jump higher the English National Ballet, the Royal Ballet and many others. In and you can’t turn more’ 2017, he formed Acosta Danza, and is director of the Birmingham Royal Ballet. He has three children with his wife Charlotte, a former model. They live in Somerset. i grew up in poverty in havana. I had no toys, sometimes went shoeless, and didn’t have a birthday cake until I turned 23. It gave me a lot of humility. starting ballet classes coincided with a very dark period. My mother had a brain haemorrhage; my father went to jail. I felt very alone. I was teased at school: I couldn’t even wash my clothes, so I smelt. A lot was forbidden as a child in cuba. Chocolate, chewing gum – I didn’t even know what they were. Sometimes I went hungry. Angels appeared at difficult times. There was a pianist at my ballet school who realised I was going through a lot. She took me under her wing. She gave me new clothes and access to hot water. I’d never had a shower before. becoming a principal dancer at the age of 18 doesn’t happen to many people. I joined the English National Ballet, making my debut in Prince Igor’s Polovtsian Dances. i was a man on a mission. I was away from my family and I didn’t speak a word of English. I didn’t know what a bank was, let alone anything about life in London. But intErviEW Elisabeth Perlman portrAit Claire Delfino it was the right place for me to be. i dealt with feeling low by living in the future. Projecting better i had a lot of arguments with my in order to convey emotion, you forties? You can’t jump higher and things that could happen became dad. He was worried about my must live the role, not act the role. you can’t turn more. my defence mechanism. Even career. Thankfully, a former teacher on stage, the only people that it’s important to bring in new to this day, I’m always thinking from the English National Ballet matter are you and your partner. audiences. I’m still learning to about my next project. got me to start training again. When you’re in the moment, it’s navigate the job as director of the my first major injury sent me into the royal ballet was my big break. like the boundaries disappear. Birmingham Royal Ballet. It’s the a depression. I was doing a jump If you want to see how good you It’s a feeling of elation. I’m lucky youngest city in Europe. We need in a rehearsal and broke my ankle. really are, this is where you go. I know what that feels like. to try to speak to that generation. S The reason I left Cuba – dancing the most physically challenging my wife is the greatest love of my there will always be people who AGE – was taken away from me. performance of my career was in life. I couldn’t do anything if it criticise your path. Just don’t M Y I After a year off, i didn’t want to go the rite of spring. I didn’t know wasn’t for her. listen to them. n GETT back to dance. I had a little bit of if my body was going to cope. i was ready to retire from the BY money and I went home. I didn’t It’s unbelievable when you go on royal ballet. My body wasn’t the Carlos Acosta is the subject of The R OU have to get up early to do ballet stage, afraid that you won’t have same and I was repeating myself. South Bank Show on August 3 on ONT classes. Eventually, I was pain-free. the strength to finish, but I made it. Why do another Swan Lake in my Sky Arts, Freeview and Now TV C The Times Magazine 7 Hannah Evans on recent holidays i’m rEAdy for my cLosE-up WELcomE to GEnErAtion bikini sELfiE It started with Kim Kardashian and Emily Ratajkowski. Now twentysomethings everywhere are posting pictures in bikinis. Times writer Hannah Evans, left, says you could blame Love Island and smartphones. Or you could just get with the programme and send her a heart emoji Emily Ratajkowski Bella Hadid And thE topLEss sELfiE… Kim Kardashian Fitness coach James Middleton I BIKINI SHOT DO’S AND DON’TS ’matdon y nxw ieuoovnuredksre miprfw oiIgs etthah tari nbopkenic tttsohuooerc eisoa houlo ftm frmitte, ydIts’oimeaol. fwIt i inggehea trt inorg Dynooa ufSf’.mr eAi lb esa.m rTeorluyyl idwneger aitnroig nl ogpo oakun tuy?tl thYrieans-g.s e Aixs ysae wxbyhit e n CabnirkodCina hotii-amasd,np wabaperhe geh untanh pI ap’mdty wa,j uruiastphttl h ogloaaonsdtt ia tnsr guap imeanr imscnoagenr.ro a Iiul n wst reHaals ivo nafe rr, omIfr twiehe ineilnrld w gsa,li asfteade mleiynn ialuyyp-p,t plcionrooayldpl, e riattiosagy tuIe-neb. ssiBt,t suacygto rnbaait mkpaichn t–osi ?t foa oT nroh dfa t lDauipo nbn sbi’utti tb2Tet0a?le1 kN3 ew obaau. ybt eoitlff iifeso . trNhcieon tmg oponesltoy pu ilnse n tthaoit sul orpaoolks, e iacmareraUe gcfnaeunssll udyori fpds tmr aoisgyrie sn“edgiln.lf y T it, nhhv eeem rrmeyy’s off eaomwvfeto enountfr ”iat:t hente h beselenyu t epiar irnece tu umrebse r. saBa–ihnegn oep lodlasfIoliw r taeiscd’ts ite Hitcm siwsnlhn oe oawoaegtmbdfh st ertp i eoeihjdajitu utcri onahesa.st cuetetusnT r ws rmrtodowa he os dnsehsEesruad . od moymlnOsisif, kn sei oymnltee ay fhbt sp ry s e soRyproo tmdof riacfrwcayf itisKitaena oeluielnjgilms rkmv mdeetoteeorsh. wsens K Ae as d sswieanj iekrufaer dhmeidsb,. wot–utaIi h-, l ss mmicyhaeiklne niiaeobgaaedd dinhrusk ess,t s i l ,n s i aDtypffDyjhtrlouoiooo ice yeusnTuok ton’ c’ aretlrujda okdeeCtrmsoeoa .uae k bl eAtohxrp uhretuee amae ttcsli hrl pf uil.put s ie tshsi yerictt neo tritafliyaguurtpnne i r detaddefghnorc eoyefuhndrr om’pi soatewu bms vshrmitolel aa illvg b yvertkeheeeh g.snl t seouafTle ysrltwbehieo, e-yl. ine 5nstoWoyg hfdumtn eo ash r5 wtart.ewsi heknI.hn ehe’ vi sloee ccollpmiMmaeariuaucueymtastTgwm. ”ugtbehh er5“o ri.e”ea,nPa0y slu,vFurf w rtsaoedothiaun aleiryvyafac onfoeetsltetd l diuvhrdylo ee r sein–d “darirh lsLeyvn eo apd eo’tnnptnoeisv trhe nmd leeam yo dlfc aoy rtcityloiknn”iioe kn eg gmnoueyg airdpsoo:tml l lnu“atoboePeh r reafhtn uefyhhdh etms teeii aohhnpbd r,f a e.de” t,yw up n toce“tohdhehaPuysiiaemeeerlrerte e snhdebpe tc e uerhabteamnmhori. kdenerMo i o ejnatily o.tli . hTaoatybe noenaasehuvdk unItei e nhnslyw iyleeaodkoo n eu tbuqnstw;’ eonluh’Itlaom ig ucslcc-esiokhapeeiroa l i,,, ls oesn twiccifnth tr iees mceotse.aa rlheeYrylel leil o fdnymb i-usso glij eoek w oacan viinoann,neo nn ib.ete m hysdlcaen iy a ntmtab hlhgIlpoe ene isam ntms.pt ttnA,ooa ooiaorgfneftnrrl e c a vtatriahmahsn senard i ofins ttemcor yemken d n,i y f d . wDIahwetb oolovohale oeuwBac’srnwkvleee d ewe e sa k o ddteautirl o n dsattlr hood nutiano heglsntesk eeoaade .ry o s ysTb pwan oaiohhm rknuhnoeiiyrneonr tstI oekliefhni osldl–wiys frnaa. t iaaagynMtlnlhgn d mtrbdeydh amwe eawmfn raota.oie n,n ew b’dw lndlaoea deibdl ylroaslo y rowww,uae knnhtnah oden’ytnt t gepaiirotrem iir rrbcae ilptIotodxfua’rrajvp, ioitrteessiief,rne n i eaowlng–dednn ths gad lp afiyi l crirfsew cohtlhbaestmo eovu rIoree t r d2p nnae oa4so,n fI t suo chnrmatsofreosc ueltpdeuclsaae r orcgaloadsluernyni. n asno d“ eamdtmnY toawcos,hy” nieuo ig r ttsde fnfhhta o eo ese rr onurne f fmyrao pt it,ha ephebfm unooesfiaksdsrl elimaktisaoan.ge nswooie t isnie nctr g s spending the majority of my twenties hating we ever complained. account. If somebody has created a new my body, at 28 I’ve got to a point where profile just so they can look at me in a bikini, I now quite like it. And why shouldn’t I? My on holiday when you’re wearing only a bikini who is the weird one here? body is the result of hundreds of hours spent all day anyway, would come off as weirdly If you’re wondering why young people are exercising and thousands of pounds spent conservative. What are you, Amish? so obsessed with documenting everything they on gym memberships. So I would be pretty My single friends’ motivations are a little do, it’s a generational thing. People my age ON_/ annoyed if after all that time, money and more calculating, posting bikini pictures and younger have grown up with cameras on DLET hard work I wasn’t somewhat happy with deliberately to draw in men who might our smartphones that have laser-sharp focus D MI the way it looked now. stumble across their Instagram profile. and endless gigabytes of memory. GRAM, @JAMES.ON_/INSTAGRAM rae baA“iskTominhnsoei n abbgneo hddmi ynpy odI f s rhotiiuaenvnrg ed h tsiohs tl eihtd hpeaeriyce b t huaoorrdeeby sb m.I y yaormfi ap do msinogr ei n Tmsinnh aapispsoq btubeiueknrtita niidani li p nrsieguca itatluiostr ryeas n.ci s“ lei Mntvhneyeor lIcTyne rsncototaja,ng nhsr taahrmpuopc ryitsse e hdb, o atlsoiid csaauyllc yk hiKnai mvpAea’s srt t“hf,ob efre o Klbrfi aieckr”rid en(aabis tuphinmiicagt n ustsehr leaifssin e,m d)l i foktrheno esmmitre ar2in.l 0kRy1 3teto?mh itTenhmhgaesnb kwe,re M KARDASHIAN/INSTAON, @JAMES.MIDDLET suoaI ulrnnw plroeapetsyom spss ooeIh dvsdaee ovt oie snso oht mahma ivebsee itfbk,”uhoi nnisdnadiy?gya,” smd s oorea nwnsetth iacfylr ilbteikhoneend es.h ts“eo,A lpIln swedha ioltliu nlgd aoswennhe eTe e yrxfaoertci ueetInir ncl sodpaiool.i ?c“kn tYY ugooerrfuse e.ms anS tsyeu.o” vc deIca rewt siksnanfnguo tla w?sp o Apwm lhpseoor o ’osyf neigl seom., i”Tny sgh ap aytaotsg e msotinhkv ieiertm hrrmodeprr ay ielv seywee el.gh f Aiaoietzfne eot hsafow cehrt i eI msonrim fssp utepoaimtlsgy trsp- aesbomenawltbf e-sytirch nmrbedoo eulidlnnleygttre e.is rnnMunt bae?ov t dT eiernhlttsaion t ’gs M, KIRRIS I understand from older friends that this same friend recently dated a high-profile including Hadid and Ratajkowski have since M, BELLA HADID/INSTAGRAM, COURTESY OF FLEUR HA amfbketealteiftinBtd ttaugiuhand tes, e noimmr rai sy bapc nonpogdyeeve ywdenw r,eti o-onrtumha pbataei e tobbn nb“ei ki–fe mocif noparpeimra,e e rprre teftei ehcaorcucemft hl ”aaaii tgrdn–tleivg yn we nfgtnooho tuprto iolsaocdfe tn urswleoyrsehc i siosa.t l pwastoenrh vodgNeef oenrbo as eonshlg ineeooa fnntor haah fle nleim kdsrrip yeonlooc mgforor tlrihkysediem nn crtdgaa ops mn s,ia .cm hedTt oumoahwrkcieetrieins orvo g s–enrs roh ei,hnm oaiectmrarl euin pnp dcwo reiaorni l tfbglbaiiel ninekggt ia n ni. SsmpthpeinaeerLd cfnreeoedec vistttnethhin geeoIg s ftlsb hashuineekosxdi iwrnmy hei ol(ansaarsetunt ilaanrfdiel c esl soh tlntitiehmm odteowe mii r n ai cins nno2t sgops0w)wcy1 k5.epi m-,ro i wnsfwoe-itesrthr atta rohid toaaest.n , c da st ATAJKOWSKI/INSTAGRA@MILLYG_FIT/INSTAGRA ipAmJneos onsha“vninlEteeei vvmyreie rtbeGrayuny ,r oottoa .fn Ihf “ seaILho mieamczlviz saieaoegl n hgmi(dstwr eennthahdaootiek ta t pe ipltbodolsuuo s,”ottsk s n-s a sla bliiIyskzinkosees i mntomKaifye g opbn rdfioadcremditaleu yln.l r des.), tmgIhr ootueaoltTdikdhdihe aa: h.a ytbIath eblacdfca-atoa nsneteuah sdtsknere e’yaot,d cnlmp.ki ko heehsoa tom nwbw eiI mk ,c litoonahvnnie efysyi hd e btoevihnteksirtin n ytIko i p f pteshhioloctec ttyoiuoa n rll oe os k wttlmaaohbibo etodeh duboloesti l u kwssitti uin tttocohihh n a we t saiIher nsee a hsv Trtdae artalrighfyya-re’dnnsai agarmd ylklr aeaaawtdnmneanddsraet dH ,is crmisootu bmlbnhleeezaei.casn dHt giiGnoa ioagtn ehrnh,ml iy-yprete aohin ltshii dtsng o eogtd e s OUS SPREAD: EMILY RGRAM. THIS SPREAD: Wwzafrodornhvomeeynr gffctoa.ia srkSne eop’rt sce t Iiaoua nbpls eilmtne?o g”em vdafeyliseag kas ashigns ae ta,nbo lwuo mprtihutgoheses htrri s.n a .eS f Cvclhueloeoer’vstynh etcnrheeiosinrnt-sg fg r a eunepd Imfolia knsroeh ntt ahoatrh eoeb ’ sdbum .etr wIara incoothoyn- wlitoynaen c eu aokdp sb al toyiarka inpsidnde eti v.obd eTy nMo h tnoheeef xe rt ifetchrisoomeum. lteItr ’? dilI pa As,ae t Ira m rtfieevenleat d s l y vapr(sobiaurucoacknulh.id tn B asgfisoak fmsTiohnareii sostthi nhm– ,eO aew an aiiikn trihplt eJe o“yumrp,l tyoa y,–uo oa lth uhsfa eotovywrenl e o cdb”fea e itycnohsonfe lmbl uyaeee cfnt cohycoreoeeuaur nrsg- th t PREVIINSTA for a picture these days, especially one taken single photo shared. A Bikini A Day) joining street-style influencers 10 The Times Magazine

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