ISSUE N241 | 9 JULY 2022 MEMOIR Why [hate my big breasts PAGE 36 LIFESTYLE How to make your kids love sport PAGE 71 Guatdian > aay ] | <= * e ’ | * dS @) a a @ 4 | rs fa \\\ Ir - a Ge eee Four families, three homes - the story of Britain's property obsession in one housing chain PAGE 16 From ‘bon voyage’ on-appetit’ Fy BEEF BOURSUIGNON @ POTATO DAUR RIGS Cp. oxX LN SS \ a Charlie says ‘au revoir’ to his dishes the very same day they’re made, so they’re fresher when they reach your supermarket shelf and fresher when they reach your table. Trés bien. Find Charlie Bigham’s delicious range in your local supermarket 7 inom Gv ue IGNON. pgs ; BOV? Obsession is my secret ingredient CONTENTS 09.07.22 ISSUE N? 4 SATURDAY The Guardian Kings Place 90 York Way, N1 9GU Byline illustrations: Delphine Lee Spot illustrations: Lalalimola fai S\ Sign up for our Inside Saturday newsletter for a sneak peek at each issue CUTTINGS Smart shot A mother in her garden, pink against green P5 How do! deal with noisy neighbours? Coco Khan asks the experts the big questions P7 Down the rabbit hole Lost in the flow of footballers in fashion P7 Flashback Hilary and Michael Whitehall on running wild at the Acropolis and their son Jack Ps Dining across the divide Are exams and taxes fair? Strangers argue it out P11 Q&A Beverley Knight (below) P13 Experience Irescued a camel from quicksand FEATURES The story of a property chain Downsizing, upsizing, getting a foot on the ladder: Tom Lamont follows four families’ house moves P16 Allat sea How a 14-day dream holiday turned into a two-month Covid nightmare: what really happened on the Zaandam cruise ship P22 ‘I was falling out of love with Westminster. Being a mayor has brought me back to what it’s all about’ Andy Burnham, Sadiq Khan and other leaders on the very local future of politics P30 ‘This was the age when you could start becoming a version of your future self - and mine was a set of double-D tits I’ve hated since the day they arrived’ Can CJ Hauser (above) learn to love her breasts? P36 Edith Pritchett A week in Venn diagrams CULTURE POSS bxxceccescecsecversecece 41-69 ee Lights, camera, advice! Our critics on the best starter films for getting to know great directors P41 What to do this week....48 MUSIC... eessseeesseceeeeeeeneeeeee 5 O ‘Don’t expect it to be comforting or cosy’ Puppetry’s dark heart P52 Visual arts cessscesssuscunsai54 SCTCCN Le eeseessseseeseereeeneeneene SO Books All about my mother He’s written about his childhood and his father; now Edouard Louis (below) is charting “the destruction of a smile” P59 Nonfiction review.......... 62 Fiction reviewS..........065 The books of my life Author Sadie Jones P68 The big idea Should cars be banned from cities? LIFESTYLE PARES iscccuscerevenreessusss 71-94 Fun and games How to get kids into sport for life P71 Blind date When Chris met Kate P74 Tim Dowling The dog’s had a haircut, the cat’s freaking out P75 You be the judge Should my housemate water my plants while T’m away? P76 Ask Annalisa Barbieri Ican’t stand my domineering in-laws P77 Style & BOY.ssessssssisessse.8O PLANES. .escsecsessessseesseesesseeere 3 Travel Teen spirit Street parties in Lisbon or hiking in the Lakes: how to have a happy holiday with teenagers. Plus 10 UK summer activity holidays for them P84 How far to the pub Alocal’s guide... PUZZICS.eeseesesesesseseesseeieees Guardian angel The man fixing bikes to fund a hospice P94 COVER: FABIO DE PAOLA/THE GUARDIAN. THIS PAGE: CHANTEL KING, LAURA STEVENS, BOTH FOR THE GUARDIAN; DARREN BELL/GETTY IMAGES FOR BLACK BRITISH THEATRE AWARDS; PRICK LDN Tour de ce > Person who France rtners o Scotland Me to my returns to the eae spac al Seein e p to England phone party because man He he provider their Uber got motoreyelists pregnant’ cancelled OSTENSIBLY SUPPORTIVE BUT REALLY UNDERLINING THE RATHER GAPING DISCREPANCY IN EFFORT Desperate to leave but they've made it as difficult as possible and keep talking about how long you've been together Sorry we've all moved on from your presence This product is made from sustainable managed forest and controlled sources. Printed by Walstead Group, Bicester The Guardian | 09.07.22 | SATURDAY | 3 SCAN HERE* ane Keele 20 to 21. kWh/NOOKm / 3-31 mniles/kWh: The ix xDrive40 dlectric range: 2: ee tained fter the battery had been fully’ charged. The iXis a battery electric vehicle requiring mains-electricity for Le ees os Ns thie je figures with pierces tested to the same technical oeteea These figures may not idee real life driving eae which PPh te cs ee shown are a aaah purpose will depend upon a number of pee udi fC Smart shot The best pictures taken on phones Prarthna Singh My Mother in her Garden, 2021 Shot on iPhone Pro Max 13 Prarthna Singh describes the oxygen and bed shortages during India’s second wave of Covid, in April 2021, asa “traumatic time for everyone. People were carrying loved ones from city to city. We all felt helpless.” The photographer was living with her parents in Jaipur, Rajasthan, the “pink city”. The maharajah had most buildings painted this colour - which indicates hospitality - to welcome the Prince of Wales in 1876. Singh’s portrait, of her mother meditating and stretching in her garden, echoes this. “The tiles to the left and the exterior wall of the home complemented my mother’s dress, as well as the flowers from the beautiful gulmohar tree.” The photo was taken at twilight. In retrospect, Singh sees fatigue in her mother’s face. “There are many pressures and demands being a woman in India, and so many ways you’re expected to uphold your home and your family, especially in atime of crisis. But here she was taking amoment of self-care, so I see peace and beauty, too.” Grace Holliday GETTY; PA IMAGES/ALAMY; ALAMY; REUTERS/ALAMY; ALLSTAR/ALAMY; GETTY IMAGES/ISTOCKPHOTO CUTTINGS with Coco How do Ideal with noisy neighbours? uring the pandemic, complaints DD about noisy neighbours soared. Now, with the government keen to prove that it’s tough on antisocial behaviour, there are plans to give the police more powers to sort out disputes. However, councils and courts increasingly favour a less drastic solution: mediation. Iasked Dr Mike Talbot, CEO of UK Mediation, how it works. In 2020 there were 16,000 disputes in mediation, including neighbour quarrels. Why do so many arguments end up there? I'd say the opposite: not enough do! Too quickly people start a world war. Mediation helps people have aconversation. They have to want to participate. And it has to be about things they can control: DIY, pets, cooking smells, playing the guitar at 2am. What are things people can’t control? Child-rearing. Saying, “They shout at their kids” is ared rag toa bull. Orin flats, saying, “I can hear everything.” Well, the wallis as thick as it is. Ifit’s normal living noise, sorry, but that’s how itis. Iam so happy to hear you say that. Tonce had a neighbour who would bang on the ceiling at anything: dropping a teaspoon, closing the Le oven door. He was so present, it was like he lived with me. Anyway, before this interview turns into counselling, what are the current rules on noise? It’s about being reasonable. There was acase that went to mediation: a posh flat downstairs complaining about neighbours upstairs moving around. Upstairs said they’d already put rugs down, they didn’t put the washing machine on after 9pm and if children visited they only played in the carpeted room. It went to court. Justice for the first-floor flat! It came out that it was the noise of walking around upstairs that was upsetting them. The judge applied the reasonableness test and said: “They can’t hover above the ground, so live with it.” Allso unnecessary. And expensive. In court, often it’s no longer an argument about, say, the £60 broken fence, but the £20,000 fees, whereas there are community mediation services that are free. Mediation is getting people to a win-win place, not the adversarial win-lose ... ... Where the only winner is the lawyer. Roughly half of Britons don’t know their neighbour’s name. Is this a factor? You definitely don’t want your first conversation to be when there’s a problem. But it can bea personality thing - how tolerant someone is. Also history. If somebody has had a dispute before, they’re thinking, “T’ll be ready this time.” The smallest thing becomes huge. If someone reading this is having anoise issue, what should they do? Pick a time and place to speak - don’t go around angry at 2am. Neutral ground is good, so leaning on the garden fence. Listen first. You could say: “I noticed you had friends around and it got late. Were you celebrating?” Hear what they say, then put your point across. Maybe: “Lovely to hear it was your cousin’s wedding. I hope you had a great time. From my point of view, it went on quite late - I had to be up at six.” Talk about the future, don’t argue over the past: “Can Iask that in future you keep it down after 11pm?” And when things improve, acknowledge it. Stick your head over the fence and say: “I noticed people were round and you kept it down. lappreciate it. Here, havea lettuce.” Coco Khan Illustration: Lalalimola Bad boy sl Chelsea blue Though Hezza has extensive Liverpool connections, his cabinet colleague David Mellor was more of a “football man”. In July 1992, Mellor became the face of Tory notorious claims (largely made up), such as a fondness for wearing his beloved Chelsea strip in a situation where one normally has their full kit off. Down the rabbit hole Lost in the flow of pop culture This week: footballers in fashion by Larry Ryan Pret-a-sporty With the Women’s Euros dominating the pitch, the men’s game is hitting on the counter with a pivot to high fashion. Fresh from his big money deal with Gucci, Man City’s Jack Grealish is all over the summer issue of the Face. On the other flank, an Arena Homme+ cover features England teammate Kalvin Phillips in head-to-toe Loewe. In November the magazine featured Everton’s high-fashion evangelist Dominic Calvert-Lewin. Gegen-well-pressed Liverpool’s “Spice Boys” famously arrived for the 1996 FA Cup final in white suits (they lost). Today’s more successful team still has the style it takes: Trent Alexander-Arnold recently wore Miu Miu for Arena Hommet+, while Mo Salah mixed vintage gear and high fashion on the cover of GQ. However, when the British edition of GQ launched in 1989, things were more staid, with besuited Tory MP Michael Heseltine labelled “Britain’s Beautiful Bad Boy”. eaze with tabloid revelations about an affair, featuring Paco the net 1991-92 was a tough season for Mellor and Chelsea, who finished a disappointing 14th in the old First Division. Eric Cantona, meanwhile, inspired Leeds to the top-flight title. With his effortless style of play, starched collars, arched back, gnomic statements and occasional bouts of violence, the Frenchman was a fashion icon. A year later he entered the fray for a Paco Rabanne catwalk show, just after spurring Once more with feeling Though Cantona is now synonymous with United, it didn’t stop diehard Man City fan Liam Gallagher asking him to appear in his 2020 video for Once, where he performed in suitably iconoclastic manner. Given Gallagher’s love of swagger and style, maybe one day he’II notice Jackie Boy doing his stuff at the Etihad and get notions for another video. C’mon, you know. his new club Manchester United to win the Premier League. , _ Pairing notes Read Football’s fashion king is Héctor Bellerin. Style bible newsletter Blackbird Spyplane recently caught up with the former Arsenal defender to talk fashion tactics. Eat Man City boss Pep Guardiola (whose own sideline style has been § questionable - the MDCR jumper, the jardigan) is also joint owner of Tast, devoted to his native Catalan cuisine. “Guys! What a restaurant!” The Guardian | 09.07.22 | SATURDAY | 7 CUTTINGS Flashback Hilary and Michael Whitehall on running wild at the Acropolis, their age gap and their son Jack Interview: Harriet Gibsone Main portrait: Simon Webb Styling: Andie Redman Iwanted an agent, _ he wanted a wife Hilary 1985 8 | SATURDAY | 09.07.22 | The Guardian ilary and Michael are the parents of actor and standup Jack Whitehall, who together have flipped their candid and comic family dynamic into an entertainment brand. Hilary, an actor known for TV appearances in Miranda and Bad Education, married Michael, a producer and talent agent, in 1986 and went on to have three children. As well as the Netflix hit Travels With My Father, the Whitehall triumvirate has hosted chatshows, co-authored books and presented live shows and YouTube series. Hilary and Michael now go it alone with their first podcast, The Wittering Whitehalls, available on all leading podcast platforms. Michael Aman called Christopher Miles, a distinguished director at the time, was making a feature film in Athens called Lord Elgin and Some Stones of No Value. Nigel Havers played Lord Elgin. I was his agent, and as it was his first film I went to visit, along with my new - very young - girlfriend. From that holiday on, it was a slow trajectory down. Jack came along and then [his siblings] Molly and Barney, so it was always Cornwall or Devon. I did one camping trip but ended up ina hotel up the road. Mostly I left the camping to Hilary. After all, was a busy man looking after international stars 24/7. I didn’t have time to wander around beaches with my beautiful children. When Iasked Hilary’s father if Icould marry her, her parents looked quite shocked. After we’d first been introduced, he said to Hilary: “You said he was older - but you never said how much older.” They were not very sure about me, particularly because I’d been married, and had had another girlfriend since then, and I drove a Jaguar XJS. It was all banked up against me. That and the fact that Iwas an agent. I must have appeared fairly flash, but we worked well together - I got Hilary her first acting job in Minder, and I even produced a series she was in. That being said, Nigel Havers did emerge during the critical moment in the delivery room when Jack was born. I’d called some friends before the birth and, as Hilary had her feet in stirrups waiting to be stitched up, Nigel arrived in black tie as he was going to some event after he’d dropped into the hospital. He and I were dispatched with the newly born Jack to go and get him cleaned up. As we walked down the corridor together, a lady came up to us who’d recognised Nigel and said: “Oh, Mr Havers, how lovely to meet you.” He thanked her, and as Nigel was holding the baby, she peered in at Jack in his blanket and said: “Oh! He looks so like you, Mr Havers! So like you! What a beautiful boy.” There were many reasons why I was first attracted to Hilary - in those early days she was very beautiful and today, well, she still is. She is also extremely nice. And I liked her sense of humour. It’s something Jack obviously has, too, but he gets his comic edge from me. That friction. Because I’m not such a nice person. I’m horrible. Comedians generally are not hugely generous with their material. I won’t mention any names but there are a lot of successful comedy actors who can be quite difficult. Jack was never like that. He always wanted to share his success or humour with us, which is why Travels With My Father worked so well. Jack was always saying: “I know - why don’t you do that? It would be funnier if you did it.” ’'d say: “No, I’m not acomedian!” And he would reply: “No, Daddy, you do it. It will be better.” I don’t know any other star who would have that kind of giving angle on a joke. It’s pure kindness, a quality Jack has entirely inherited from his mother. Hilary Michael and I are on top of the Acropolis in front of the Parthenon, which had been closed for filming. That was arare event, sol went mad up there that day taking photos, as it was completely empty apart from the crew. Michael’s hat and glove were borrowed from the costume department, and I was in my normal holiday garb. At this point in time, about 10 months in, my parents were still struggling with the concept that I was going out with a divorced man 21 years older than me. Regardless, I thought: “I’m going on holiday with him.” We had a fantastic time: as well as Nigel, there was Julian Fellowes and a young Hugh Grant, too. I was all atwitter! It was boiling hot but Julian was insistent on wearing long sleeves and long trousers every day, and only eating Greek salad. We still have a joke HAIR AND MAKEUP: CAROL SULLIVAN AT ARLINGTON ARTISTS. ARCHIVE IMAGE: COURTESY OF THE WHITEHALLS 1 \ area a whenever we see him. “Would you like a Greek salad, just for old times’ sake?” Ihada nice camera with me as I used to do photography, and the director asked if I could do some stills. Sol ended up working, which was very exciting. Ithought: “Well, Michael, if this is the standard of holiday you’re setting, then it’s going to be a wild ride.” Sadly, however, that was the pinnacle. After Athens we became fairly staid and bored. Nevertheless it was the holiday that prompted Michael to take his life in his hands and ask my father for my hand in marriage. Jack was born shortly after, and soon Molly arrived, too, which wasn’t quite what I intended, but I'd had difficulty having Jack and isa I thought we’d better get on with it because it would take for ever. In the end it was just a 15-month age gap. Michael and I first met at a party. It didn’t go very well: he was wearing a white suit and I did question his sexuality. Meanwhile, he thought Iwas married because I’d met this American man five minutes prior who'd asked me all the usual questions - what my name was, my age, my profession - and then decided to follow me over to Michael. Michael asked what my name was and the American man said: “This is Hilary.” Michael asked: “How old are you, Hilary?” And the American man said: “Hilary is 24.” While it wasn’t a great start, ascertained that he was very OES Her parents were not very sure about me Michael funny and charming, and we swapped numbers. I was looking for an agent, he was looking for a wife. And luckily he got what he wanted. We've been married for 36 years now, and I think we’ve learned all we need to learn about one another; working in such close proximity this past few years hasn’t changed much. We have a similar outlook on life and similar upbringings. People think we are very posh but we are both from the lower end of the middle classes: humble backgrounds, really. Asense of humour is, and has always been, critical for both of us. We’d both previously had quite challenging relationships devoid of hilarity, and we were desperate for a lightness of touch, which we found in each other. There are a couple of episodes of our podcast where I completely lose it because I’m laughing so much, to the point of hysteria. It’s as if we are two halves. It is a bit cliched to say, but really we are soulmates. 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