rhe Satir Model Family Therapy and Beyond Virginia Satir Banmen John Jane Gerber • Maria Gomori $22.95 The Model Satir Family Therapy and Beyond Virginia Satir John Banmen Jane Gerber • Maria Gomori Before Virginia Satir's death in 1988, she and three of her colleagues began writing a book on the theoretical aspects of her approach to therapy. Completed three years later, this is now the most defini- tive book available on Satir's constructs, applications, and innovations. The Satir Model covers her belief system, her insightful approach to change, and the powerful inter- ventions she developed over the course of her 30-plus years at the forefront of family therapy. These include the therapeutic use of sculpting and "survival stances," metaphors, the Parts Party, and Family Reconstruction. We explore the "ingredients" of an interaction and the various elements in the Self mandala that affect how we perceive and respond to our world. We also read about the ways we learn (and can transform) how we interact with each other. The last chapter describes how members of Satir's professional circle, the Avanta Network, are promoting and passing on the understanding, embodiment, and artistry of working with others. How can we help peo- ple uncover their own congruence and lead more fully human lives? The Satir Model is not about pathology. Like all of Satir's writings, it is about human dignity and strength. And unlike most other books about this approach to family therapy, it offers both a solid base for and a thor- ough description of every major aspect of Satir's work. Its comprehensive scope and examples will appeal to students as well as experienced professionals. w .r-1 » t. v^r vcrwiw/S« I DEPARTMEWT OF LIBRARIES northeast REQlOitiAt LIBRARY 2 BOX 24A ST .K^iN^URY, VT . O50t9 The Satir Model Family Therapy and Beyond 4 i i ii r I The Satir Model Family Therapy and Beyond Virginia Satir Banmen John Jane Gerber • Maria Gomori SCIENCE AND BEHAVIOR BOOKS, INC. Palo Alto, California & Copyright (c) 1991 by Science Behavior Books, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without permission from the publisher. Printed in the United States of America Library of Congress Card Number 89-060194 ISBN 8314-0078-1 Diistjacket and interior design by Gary LaRochelle/Flea Ranch Graphics Interior art by Chris Jensen/The Last Word, Menlo Park, CA CA, and Barry Ives, St. Llelena, Editing by Rain Blockley Production editing Jim Nageotte Typesetting by TLC Graphics Printing by Haddon Craftsmen Dedicated To the memory of Virginia Satir 1916-1988 Our teacher, colleague, and friend. i j Contents Preface by Virginia Satir xiii Introduction xv Chapter Perceiving THE World 1. 1 Universal Aspects of Perceiving the World 6 Defining a Relationship • Defining a Person • Explaining an Event • Attitudes Toward Change Satir's Growth Model 13 Satir's Therapeutic Beliefs 16 2. The Primary Triad 19 Am "1 Me" 25 Rebuilding Self-Esteem 26 3. The Survival Stances 31 Placating 36 Blaming 41 Being Super-Reasonable 45 Being Irrelevant 48 Switching Stances 52 How Survival Stances Develop 53 Using Our Senses • Childhood Misunderstandings • Childhood Helplessness • Learning to Judge • Mixed Messages How Survival Stances Protect Us 60 "The Five Freedoms" 62 Vll