THE RULINGS PERTAINING TO LOOKING AT A WOMAN FOR A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL By Sh. Samīr b. Amīn al-Zuhayrī Translated by Salal Ahmed Haque 2 Contents Translator’s Introduction 3 Biography of the Author 4 Author’s Introduction 6 Chapter 1: The Command to Guard Our Eyes 8 Chapter 2: Evidences Indicating Recommendation of Looking at the Courted Woman 10 Chapter 3: Companions Who Implemented These Evidences 15 Does the woman have to know if she is being watched? 16 Chapter 4: What Can the Proposer See of the Courted Woman? 18 Chapter 5: How is this Viewing Accomplished? 21 Chapter 6: Is the Viewing Restricted to a Certain Number? 24 Chapter 7: Benefits of Viewing the Courted Woman 25 Bibliography 26 3 Translator’s Introduction In the Name of Allāh, all praise is due to Him, may the peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allāh. What is presently before the reader is a translation of a juridical treatise authored by the ḥadīth researcher Sh. Samīr b. Amīn al-Zuhayrī entitled in Arabic al-Aḥkām al-Maṭlūbah fī Ru‟yat al-Makhṭūbah1. The author deals with the critical issue of looking at the courted woman and the ensuing legislated rulings by examining the authentic traditions related to the topic and, more importantly from a hermeneutical point of view, the manner in which some of the Companions of the Prophet understood and implemented them. Thus, a clear picture of the issue is presented. In structuring the booklet the author begins by reminding the reader of the importance of safeguarding one‟s sight from misuse via indulgence in forbidden matters. He then moves on to mention seven authentic Sunnic evidences which he believes substantiates the view that it is recommended for one to look at the courted woman. Some of the Companions who applied these traditions are mentioned thereafter which raises a number of questions he attempts to answer subsequently such as whether the woman has to know that one is looking at her, what the proposer can actually see of her, how the viewing is accomplished and if there is a limited number of times one can look. He concludes the treatise by mentioning a number of benefits that come as a result of being able to look at the courted woman before marriage. I have translated the words of the Shaykh as idiomatically as possible and have gone further by adding apposite annotations of a biographical and juridical nature gleaned from disparate classical sources throughout the booklet in order to satisfy the thirst of the more interested reader. In cases where the author omitted the numbering of a ḥadīth for reasons of parsimony, I have attempted to locate and provide them in the relevant footnote2. All such footnotes from me have been marked as [TN]. Additionally in the next section I have provided a brief biography of the Shaykh to familiarise the reader with his educational background and area of expertise. It is hoped this short work will benefit those brothers and sisters desiring to follow the fundamental sources of Islām through the framework of the understanding and application of the Companions. More specifically, I hope this effort helps to dispel any doubts concerning the issue at hand. All that remains to be said is that whatever is found herein to be correct is from Allāh the Mighty and Exalted and any mistakes are from my imperfect self and the accursed shayṭān. Written by the one in eternal need of Allāh‟s mercy Salal Ahmed Haque Completed on Tuesday, 9th Ramaḍān 1432AH/ 9th August 2011 CE. 1 Al-Zuhayrī, Samīr b. Amīn (1411), al-Aḥkām al-Maṭlūbah fī Ru‟yat al-Makhṭūbah. Cairo: Maktabat al-Tawḥīd. [TN] 2 Due to a lack of a bibliography by the author I have left his footnotes and referencing as they occur in the original Arabic. Any referencing by the translator is provided in full. [TN] 4 Biography of the Author3 Name Samīr b. Amīn b. al-Mandūh al-Zuhayrī al-Manṣūrī al-Salafī al-Atharī. Teachers His most prominent teacher was Muḥammad Nāṣir al-Dīn al-Albānī with whom he seems to have been closely associated as we find al-Albānī referring to al-Zuhayrī as „the noble brother‟ when referring the readers to a book Sh. Al-Zuhayrī had written defending the Shaykh against Sh. Islmā῾īl al-Anṣārī.4 He travelled to ῾Ammān in the year 1405AH to gain knowledge from Sh. Al-Albānī by attending his sessions and continued to take knowledge from him until the year 1409 when he decided to travel to Saudi Arabia. He settled in Riyāḍ and remained there for five years and then travelled to be next to the Ḥaram where he stayed for six years. He then returned, once again, to Riyāḍ where he remains to this day. Works Sh. Al-Zuhayrī has authored a number of books on different topics. He has also verified some classical works which no student of knowledge can do without. Below is a list of his works: I. Authored: a. al-Ilmām bi Ādāb wa Aḥkām al-Ṣiyām A small treatise on the etiquettes and rulings on fasting. b. Fatḥ al-Bārī fī Dhabb ῾an al-Albānī wa al-Radd ῾alā Ismā῾īl al-Anṣārī A defence of Imām al-Albānī against his opponent Sh. Ismā῾īl al-Anṣārī. c. Al-Aḥkām al-Maṭlūbah fī Ru‟yat al-Makhtūbah The translation at hand. d. Awḍaḥ al-Bayān fī Ḥukm Safar al-Niswān A treatise on the ruling concerning women travelling. e. Dhamm al-Dunyā f. Al-Atqiyā‟ wa Fitan al-Nisā‟ 3 Taken from: http://www.ahlalhdeeth.com/vb/archive/index.php/t-5394.html last accessed: 15.06.11 [TN]. 4 Al-Albānī, Muḥammad Nāṣir al-Dīn (1420/2000) Silsilah al-Aḥādīth al-Ḍa῾īfah wa al-Mawḍū῾ah wa Atharuhā al-Sayyi‟ fī al- Ummah. Riyaḍ: Maktabah al-Ma῾ārif, vol. 1, pp. 31-32 [TN]. 5 g. Waqafāt ma῾a al-Naẓarāt h. Al-Albānī as a Muḥaddith II. Verified: a. Nāsikh al-Ḥadīth wa Mansūkhuh by al-Imām al-Ḥāfiz Abū Ḥafṣ b. Shāhīn b. Kitāb al-Tawḥīd by Imām Ibn Khuzaymah c. Kitāb al-Fitan by Imām Abū ῾Abd Allāh Nu῾aym b. Ḥammād al-Marwazī d. Al-Taswiyah bayna Ḥaddathanā wa Akhbaranā wa Dhikr al-Ḥujjah fīh by Imām al-Ṭaḥāwī e. Kitāb al-Jumu῾ah wa Faḍluhā by al-Qāḍī Abū Bakr Aḥmad b. ῾Alī al-Marwazī f. Bulūgh al-Marām min Adillat al-Aḥkām by al-Ḥāfiẓ Ibn Ḥajr al-῾Asqalānī g. Kitāb al-Taṣdīq bi al-Naẓr ilā Allāh Ta῾ālā fī al-Ākhirah by Imām Abū Bakr Muḥammad b. Ḥusayn al-Ājurrī h. ῾Umdat al-Aḥkām by Imām ῾Abd al-Ghanī al-Maqdisī i. ῾Umdat al-Aḥkām al-Kubrā by Imām ῾Abd al-Ghanī al-Maqdisī i. The original is a Master‟s dissertation 6 Author’s Introduction Indeed all praise is due to Allāh, we praise Him, seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge in Allāh from the evils of ourselves and from the evil consequences of our actions. Whomsoever Allāh guides none can misguide and whomsoever He allows to be misguided none can guide. I bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship except Allāh alone without any partner and I bear witness that Muḥammad is His slave and His Messenger. “O you who have believed, fear Allāh as He should be feared and do not die except as Muslims”5 “O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allāh through whom you demand your mutual rights and [respect] the wombs that bore you. Indeed Allāh is ever, over you, an Observer”6 “O you who have believed, fear Allāh and speak words of appropriate justice. He will amend for you your deeds and forgive your sins. And whoever obeys Allāh and His Messenger has certainly attained a great success”7 To proceed: “Indeed the most truthful speech is the Book of Allāh the Most High and the best guidance is the guidance of Muḥammad . The most evil of affairs are newly invented matters and every newly invented matter is a heresy and every heresy is misguidance and every misguidance is in the Fire”. To proceed: This is the second part of my book Clarification of the Sunnah to the Women of this Ummah.8 The conditions and boundaries of this important issue have been mentioned in the respected Sharī῾ah, it is not appropriate for Muslims to deviate from these conditions and boundaries; this is so they can obtain happiness in this world and the hereafter. However, there are those amongst the Muslims today who turn away from learning the orthodox legislation. Some of the Muslims of today do not allow the suitor to look at the one he is courting from his daughters either because it is the custom which was handed down from their forefathers or due to being overly cautious and protective. We then find them allowing their daughters to unveil their faces and to dress up in front of the drivers and housekeepers and in front of marriageable persons (non-maḥrams) from their cousins and close relatives. Similarly, there are those fathers who will not only disallow the suitor to even look at his daughter during the meeting but will also prevent him from looking at her even after the marriage contract has been settled and she has become his wife and not even allowing him to see her except until the wedding night!! 5 Āl-῾Imrān (3): 102 6 Al-Nisā‟ (4): 1 7 Al-Aḥzāb (33): 70-71 8 The first part has been published and all praise is due to Allāh under the title: Awḍaḥ al-Bayān fī Ḥukm Safar al-Niswān (The Clearest Exposition on the Ruling of Women Travelling). 7 As a result of this, tragedy and cases of divorce occur, which could have been prevented if we had adopted the legislation of Allāḥ the Mighty and Exalted and implemented the Sunnah of the leader of the creation . Then there are those who allow the suitor to see their daughters all dressed up, he allows him to be alone with her and travel with her, and in fact he permits everything in the name of „getting to know each other‟. He then reaps nothing but regret when the proposal comes to nothing because young men in most instances – even if openly sinful – are not happy for a woman of this kind to be their future wife because he cannot trust her, however he plays with her for a while and then looks for someone else.9 Due to these reasons and others, I wrote this treatise to clarify this issue and the Sharīah rulings connected with it and have thus entitled it: al-Aḥkām al-Maṭlūbah fī Ru‟yat al-Makhṭūbah (The Required Rulings for Seeing the Courted Woman). Also, I have used only the sound Sunnah as evidence [in this treatise]. I ask Allāh to popularise its benefit and to enlighten us with the affairs of our religion and that He overlooks our sins for indeed He is the best Guardian and Helper and Allāh is behind the intention. Samīr b. Amīn al-Zuhayrī 9 There is a more recent worrying phenomenon in the West in which the courted woman refuses to show her face to the proposer in a meeting in which her guardians are present. Thus the man sees nothing of the woman except may be her height and gauges her articulateness and level of intelligence while the woman receives both her right to look and converse with the suitor. If this was the preferred method, and of a higher level of piety, the Prophet , as we shall see, would not have ordered his Companions to look at the women they were intending to marry and the Companions , who possessed greater piety and modesty than we ever will, would not have taken extreme measures to implement that advice. Furthermore, this practice also defeats the objectives of the Sharī῾ah which the Prophet explicitly stated in a number of ḥadīth which are to follow. To illustrate this point, let us contemplate on the fact that looking at a marriageable woman (non-maḥram) is prohibited by Allāh for a man because of the gravity of the evils that follow from not restraining one‟s eyes. Yet, Allāh in His infinite wisdom temporarily allowed something that is normally prohibited for a man (i.e. looking at a non-maḥram woman) in the event of a marriage proposal because of the benefits which arise from such a practice. Some of these wisdoms were mentioned by the Prophet such as the fact that it induces love between the two parties whilst other benefits are not within our comprehension but due to our faith in implementing the Sunnah we know they exist. And the best guidance is the guidance of the Messenger of Allāh [TN]. 8 Chapter 1: The Command To Guard Our Eyes The Mighty and Exalted said: “The hearing, the sight and hearts, each of those will be questioned”10 The sight, therefore, is a blessing from Allāḥ the Mighty and Exalted bestowed upon man so it is obligatory to express gratitude to Allāh for this blessing. From the obligations of this gratitude is to not use this favour in something which Allāḥ the Mighty and Exalted has proscribed. Accordingly, Allāḥ the Mighty and Exalted states in His Book: “Tell the believing men to lower their gazes11 and to protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed Allāh is well informed of what they do. Tell the believing women to lower their gazes and to protect their private parts”12 Thus, in these passages there is a command from Allāh the Mighty and Exalted to both the believing men and women to lower their gazes. The command here indicates an obligation therefore it is forbidden for every Muslim man to look at what is not permitted for him from marriageable women or their appearances and it is said: “The glance is the harbinger of fornication”. It is more proper for a Muslim to adopt the etiquettes of Islām and desist from what he has been forbidden. It is a shame that some of the people of the Time of Ignorance used to lower their gazes, here is ῾Antarah saying: I lower my gaze as long as my female neighbour is visible to me, Until her house conceals her It is a shame because many of the Muslims do not pay attention to this divinely legislated ruling and give full rein to their eyes. Many of them today search for these forbidden things to look at them, the one who indulges in these forbidden looks will not reap anything but preoccupation of the mind and thought and will sow for himself grief and regret. A poet stated: If you send your eyes scouting 10 Al-Isrā‟ (17): 36 11 The idiom denotes, among other things; lowering, restraining and suppressing the sight. Refer to: Ibn Manẓūr,Lisān al-῾Arab, ed. ῾Abd Allāh ῾Alī al-Kabīr et al. Cairo: Dār al-Ma῾ārif, vol. 5, p. 3266 and Ibn Fāris, Abu al-Ḥusayn Aḥmad (1399/1979), Mu῾jam Maqāyīs al-Lughah, ed. ῾Abd al-Salām Muḥammad Hārūn. (NP), vol. 4, p. 383 [TN]. 12 Al-Nūr (24): 30-31 9 Your heart, one day, will make you follow the beheld I have seen that which, not over all of it capable are you nor over some of it are you patient It is for this reason Allāh the Mighty and Exalted threatens the one who misuses his eyes by looking at what is forbidden by saying: “He knows the fraud of the eyes”13 Likewise, a number of traditions mention the noble Prophetic instruction to preserve one‟s sight from forbidden matters: 1. From Abū Sa῾īd al-Khudrī who said the Messenger of Allāh said: “Beware of sitting on the roads” They replied: “O Messenger of Allāh! We have no choice but to sit there, we talk there”. He said: “If you refuse, then give the road its due right” They asked: “What is the due right of the path O Messenger of Allāh?” He said: “Lowering the gaze, withholding harm, responding to the greeting, commanding the good and forbidding the evil”14 2. From Ibn ῾Abbās who said: “I have not seen anything with greater resemblance to al-lamam15 than what Abū Hurayrah reported from the Prophet : “Indeed Allāh has written for the son of Ādam his portion of adultery which he will realise inevitably. The adultery of the eye is the look; adultery of the tongue is speaking. The soul wishes and craves and the private parts affirm that all or reject it”16 13 Al-Ghāfir (40): 19 14 Reported by al-Bukhārī (2465) and Muslim (5563). 15 Ibn Ḥajr states that it refers to a person being stricken by the desires of the soul. It is also said to refer to the perpetration of minor sins. Al-Rāghib stated that al-lamam refers to the perpetration of sin and that it is used as an expression for minor sins. Refer to: Al-Asqalānī, Aḥmad b. ʻAlī b. Ḥajr, (2000) Fatḥ al-Bārī Sharḥ Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, ed. ῾Abd al-῾Azīz b. Bāz. Riyāḍ: Dār al-Salām, vol. 11, p. 613 [TN] 16 Reported by al-Bukhārī (6612) and Muslim (6753). 10