PRAISE FOR JAMES ALTUCHER “James Altucher is scary smart.” — STEPHEN DUBNER, AUTHOR OF FREAKONOMICS “What I like about James is you can tell he came from a roller coaster. He chose his own path to success without knowing the outcome. And … one thing is for sure: if you don’t make courageous choices for yourself, nobody else will.” — DICK COSTOLO, CEO OF TWITTER PRAISE FOR THE POWER OF NO “Every ‘no’ makes space for the perfect ‘yes.’ It’s impossible to thrive in an overcommitted world. And yet it’s so easy to get caught up—to drain our energy bank account, leaving us mentally, physically, and spiritually bankrupt. Your freedom may be closer than you think. The Power of No by James and Claudia Altucher is an invitation to a universe of meaningful opportunities on the other side of ‘no.’ I’m so grateful for this book and I know you will be too.” — KRIS CARR, NEW YORK TIMES BEST-SELLING AUTHOR OF CRAZY SEXY KITCHEN “The Power of No takes a fresh approach to becoming masterful at using ‘no’ to say ‘yes’ to life. Grounded in both practical and spiritual wisdom, James and Claudia take the reader on an unexpected journey that explores a variety of ways we prevent ourselves from being fully present in the here and now. Their book is filled with magic that can change your life if you’re brave enough to follow their lead!” — CHERYL RICHARDSON, AUTHOR OF THE ART OF EXTREME SELF-CARE “I would recommend this book to any member of the human species. It’s bold, empowering, and useful. It gave me the courage to turn down distractions so that I could focus on the important things in life, like endorsing this book.” — A. J. JACOBS, NEW YORK TIMES BEST-SELLING AUTHOR OF DROP DEAD HEALTHY ALSO BY JAMES ALTUCHER Choose Yourself: Be Happy, Make Millions, Live the Dream FAQ Me How to Be the Luckiest Person Alive! I Was Blind but Now I See ALSO BY CLAUDIA AZULA ALTUCHER 21 Things to Know Before Starting an Ashtanga Yoga Practice PLEASE VISIT: Hay House USA: www.hayhouse.com® Hay House Australia: www.hayhouse.com.au Hay House UK: www.hayhouse.co.uk Hay House South Africa: www.hayhouse.co.za Hay House India: www.hayhouse.co.in Copyright © 2014 by James Altucher and Claudia Azula Altucher Published and distributed in the United States by: Hay House, Inc.: www.hayhouse.com® • Published and distributed in Australia by: Hay House Australia Pty. Ltd.: www.hayhouse.com.au • Published and distributed in the United Kingdom by: Hay House UK, Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.uk • Published and distributed in the Republic of South Africa by: Hay House SA (Pty), Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.za • Distributed in Canada by: Raincoast Books: www.raincoast.com • Published in India by: Hay House Publishers India: www.hayhouse.co.in Cover design: Michelle Polizzi • Interior design: Celia Fuller-Vels All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise be copied for public or private use—other than for “fair use” as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews—without prior written permission of the publisher. The authors of this book do not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the authors is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, the authors and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Altucher, James. The power of no : because one little word can bring health, abundance, and happiness / James Altucher and Claudia Azula Altucher. -- 1st edition. pages cm ISBN 978-1-4019-4587-9 (paperback) 1. Self-esteem. 2. Conduct of life. 3. Self-realization. 4. Success. 5. Happiness. I. Altucher, Claudia Azula. II. Title. BJ1533.S3.A48 2014 158.1--dc23 2014011685 Tradepaper ISBN: 978-1-4019-4587-9 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 1st edition, June 2014 Printed in the United States of America To Eckhart Tolle for inspiring us with the first twelve letters of his bestseller and to the reader for not saying NO to reading this book CONTENTS Your NO Bill of Rights Why This Book Is for You First The No That Chooses Life Second The No That Brings True Love, Creativity, and Abundance Third The No to Phony Storytelling Fourth The No to the Angers of the Past Fifth The No to Scarcity Sixth The No to Noise Seventh The No to “Me” Saying Yes to Your New Power Time to Say No to This Book Coming to Yes About the Authors YOUR NO BILL OF RIGHTS No is an incredibly painful, brave word to say. How many times have you had to say no only to have it cause anguish, desperation, arguments, and anxiety? Even the hours, days, and months before you say no are filled with anxiety: “Should I?” “Could I?” “What will happen?” But you have the right to say no. In fact, you have a whole Bill of Rights. These rights are already yours. This book will help you fully realize them. 1 You Have the Right to Defend Your Life You are entitled to say NO to the things that will directly hurt you: fire, jumping off a building, drinking poison, overdosing. People readily say no to something as extreme and dramatic as fire. But other No’s are more subtle. It might be harder to say no to cigarettes, alcohol, or toxic relationships. You decide what you say no to. Nobody else does. 2 You Have the Right to Healthy Relationships and Real Love You decide whom you say NO to. You are entitled to choose your tribe, regardless of what society imposes on you. You decide who in your life drains you of energy, and then purge them so you can soar. This does not mean you become a hermit; it means you choose your family, your friends, your colleagues, your tribe, your life. 3 You Have the Right to Use Your Talents and Allow Abundance into Your Life You are entitled to say NO to whatever gets in the way of your creative force and keeps it from bringing you a life of abundance. You are uniquely needed in this world, but only if you say no to the barricades. You have a mission. Only you can give the gift you have. You deserve abundance, wealth, and appreciation for your work. 4 You Have the Right to Assert What You Want Every day, colleagues, institutions, bosses, friends, and family want you to attend to their needs. They don’t do this because they are bad or selfish. They do this because it is simply what people do; they have their own best interests at heart. And you are also entitled to have your best interests at heart. You don’t have to do what everyone else in society is doing. You are a unique combination of DNA, environment, culture, and personal experiences. For you to say yes to something, it has to be special to you. Everything else, no matter what the consequences, you are entitled to say NO to. When you say yes to something you don’t want to do, here is the result: you hate what you are doing, you resent the person who asked you, and you hurt yourself. 5 You Have the Right to Choose What Stories You Believe In Why did humans move up the food chain 70,000 years ago? Because we developed the language to tell stories. Stories, myths, religions, and institutions allow us to cooperate with millions of other humans. Humans are great storytellers. That’s what separates us from every other species. There are thousands of common stories that are baked into our societal mythology and that we believe are real. Some of them are: College. Owning a home. Marriage. Children. Having a cushy job. Postponing our dreams for when there will be money. “Work hard and succeed!” Ten thousand hours to mastery. And so on. You are entitled to say NO to the stories that do not serve your own evolution, and yes only to the ones that align with your spiritual work, your bliss, and your ability to manifest a fulfilling life. Distinguishing your true stories from the ones that aren’t true for you protects you from the seven billion people who want to keep you in line. 6 You Have the Right to Take Your Time Often people want answers right now! When they tell you to jump, they want you to ask, “How high?” But you have the right to think things over. The right to delay. The right to say, “Okay, give me some time to see how I feel about it.” The right to get to know the people who enter your life in either business or relationships and see if they are the right fit. We spend most of each day in small or large negotiations with the people and environments around us. Often the best way to negotiate is to take the time and space to determine what is best for you. You succeed by saying yes only when you are ready and the conditions are right. In removing yourself temporarily from the situation, you reduce the supply of yourself. In basic economics, value is a function of supply and demand. When supply goes down, value goes up. A small delay so you can determine the best choice will likewise increase your value in any situation or relationship. But this is not really about getting something out of the situation, although it might have that effect. It is about allowing the necessary pause to notice what is actually happening and make decisions that come from a place of power in you, rather than rushing your decisions and making choices based on your preconditioning. 7 You Have the Right to Be Honest, Above All, with Yourself You are entitled to say NO to wearing a mask in order to get people to like you. You can trust that the way you are is fine, that your honesty is what attracts others to you, and that your truth is what lights your internal fire. The world right now is filled with fog. Honesty is a beacon. Your honesty— saying no to the lying—is what will bring the lost ships home. It’s what will bring health, love, and money to you. 8 You Have the Right to an Abundant and Fulfilled Life You are entitled to say NO to the scarcity complex, and any other complex, for that matter. You have the right to notice the fearful thoughts that do not belong to you, but rather simply pass through you—the ones that intend to scare you, cajole you, and keep you small—and to let them go, one at a time. 9 You Have the Right to Be Here Now You are entitled to say NO to time traveling. Angers and regrets are in the past. Anxieties and worries are in the future. Traveling to the past or the future will not help you now. You have the right to say no to what is not happening right now. It will never solve your future problems but will always sap your present strengths. 10 You Have the Right to Silence You are entitled to say NO to all the noise around you, to the news, to the responsibilities, to the pressures. You can sit alone in silence for a while, every day, to connect with the higher part of you, the part that wants to help you, and let it help you. You can be still for a moment, each day, and know that you are enough. Out of stillness flows infinity. 11 You Have the Right to Surrender