The Project Gutenberg EBook of The One Hoss Shay, by Oliver Wendell Holmes This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org Title: The One Hoss Shay With its Companion Poems How the Old Horse Won the Bet & The Broomstick Train Author: Oliver Wendell Holmes Illustrator: Howard Pyle Release Date: October 18, 2009 [EBook #30279] Language: English Character set encoding: UTF-8 *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ONE HOSS SHAY *** Produced by Julia Miller and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) Transcriber’s Note Obvious typographical errors have been corrected. A list of corrections is found at the end of the text. Y^e Deacon [1] [2] Decorative title page The One Hoss Shay With its Companion Poems How the Old Horse Won the Bet & The Broomstick Train By Oliver Wendell Holmes With Illustrations by Howard Pyle Colophon Boston and New York Houghton, Mifflin and Company The Riverside Press, Cambridge> M DCCC XCII Copyright, 1858, 1877, 1886, and 1890, By OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES. Copyright, 1891, By HOUGHTON, MIFFLIN & CO. All rights reserved. [3] The Riverside Press, Cambridge, Mass., U.S.A. Electrotyped and Printed by H. O. Houghton & Co. Preface My publishers suggested the bringing together of the three poems here presented to the reader as being to some extent alike in their general character. “The Wonderful One-Hoss Shay” is a perfectly intelligible conception, whatever material difficulties it presents. It is conceivable that a being of an order superior to humanity should so understand the conditions of matter that he could construct a machine which should go to pieces, if not into its constituent atoms, at a given moment of the future. The mind may take a certain pleasure in this picture of the impossible. The event follows as a logical consequence of the presupposed condition of things. There is a practical lesson to be got out of the story. Observation shows us in what point any particular mechanism is most likely to give way. In a wagon, for instance, the weak point is where the axle enters the hub or nave. When the wagon breaks down, three times out of four, I think, it is at this point that the accident occurs. The workman should see to it that this part should never give way; then find the next vulnerable place, and so on, until he arrives logically at the perfect result attained by the deacon. Unquestionably there is something a little like extravagance in “How the Old Horse won the Bet,” which taxes the credulity of experienced horsemen. Still there have been a good many surprises in the history of the turf and the trotting course. The Godolphin Arabian was taken from ignoble drudgery to become the patriarch of the English racing stock. Old Dutchman was transferred from between the shafts of a cart to become a champion of the American trotters in his time. “Old Blue,” a famous Boston horse of the early decades of this century, was said to trot a mile in less than three minutes, but I do not find any exact record of his achievements. Those who have followed the history of the American trotting horse are aware of the wonderful development of speed attained in these last years. The lowest time as yet recorded is by Maud S. in 2.08¾. If there are any anachronisms or other inaccuracies in this story, the reader will please to remember that the narrator’s memory is liable to be at fault, and if the event recorded interests him, will not worry over any little slips or stumbles. The terrible witchcraft drama of 1692 has been seriously treated, as it well deserves to be. The story has been told in two large volumes by the Rev. Charles Wentworth Upham, and in a small and more succinct volume, based upon his work, by his daughter-in-law, Caroline E. Upham. The delusion commonly spoken of, as if it belonged to Salem, was more widely diffused through the towns of Essex County. Looking upon it as a pitiful and long dead and buried superstition, I trust my poem will no more offend the good people of Essex County than Tam O’Shanter worries the honest folk of Ayrshire. The localities referred to are those with which I am familiar in my drives about Essex County. O. W. H. July, 1891. decorative [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] List of Illustrations THE DEACON’S MASTERPIECE. PAGE The Deacon Frontispiece. Half Title 11 The Masterpiece 12 “A chaise breaks down” 14 “The Deacon inquired of the village folk” 16 “Naow she’ll dew” 18 “She was a wonder, and nothing less” 19 “Deacon and deaconess dropped away” 20 “Eighteen Hundred” 21 “Fifty-Five” 21 “Its hundredth year” 22 “A general flavor of mild decay” 23 “In another hour it will be worn out” 24 “The parson takes a drive” 25 “All at once the horse stood still” 26 “Then something decidedly like a spill” 27 “Just as bubbles do when they burst” 28 “End of the wonderful one-hoss-shay” 29 HOW THE OLD HORSE WON THE BET. Half Title 30 “The famous trotting ground” 31 “Many a noted steed” 32 “The Sunday swell” 33 “The jointed tandem” 34 “So shy with us, so free with these” 35 “The lovely bonnets beamed their smiles” 36 “I’ll bet you two to one” 37 “Harnessed in his one-hoss-shay” 38 “The sexton ... led forth the horse” 40 “A sight to see” 41 “They lead him, limping, to the track” 42 “To limber out each stiffened joint” 43 “Something like a stride” 45 “A mighty stride he swung” 47 “Off went a shoe” 48 “And now the stand he rushes by” 50 “And off they spring” 51 “They follow at his heels” 52 “They’re losing ground” 52 “He’s distanced all the lot” 53 “Some took his time” 54 “Back in the one-hoss shay he went” 56 “A horse can trot, for all he’s old” 57 THE BROOMSTICK TRAIN. Half Title 58 “Clear the track” 59 “An Essex Deacon dropped in to call” 60 “The old dwellings” 61 “The small square windows” 61 “Dark, dim, Dante-like solitudes” 63 “Norman’s Woe” 64 [9] [10] “The Screeching Woman of Marblehead” 65 “It isn’t fair” 66 “You’re a good old—fellow—come, let us go” 68 “See how tall they’ve grown” 69 “They called the cats” 70 “The Essex people had dreadful times” 71 “The withered hags were free” 72 “A strange sea-monster stole their bait” 74 “They could hear him twenty miles” 75 “They came ... at their master’s call” 76 “You can hear her black cat’s purr” 78 “Catch a gleam from her wicked eye” 79 Tail Piece 80 Decorative Decorative The Deacon’s Masterpiece Have you heard of the wonderful one-hoss shay, That was built in such a logical way It ran a hundred years to a day, And then, of a sudden, it—ah, but stay, I’ll tell you what happened without delay, Scaring the parson into fits, Frightening people out of their wits,— Have you ever heard of that, I say? Seventeen hundred and fifty-five, [11] [12] [13] Georgius Secundus was then alive,— Snuffy old drone from the German hive; That was the year when Lisbon-town Saw the earth open and gulp her down, And Braddock’s army was done so brown, Left without a scalp to its crown. It was on the terrible earthquake-day That the Deacon finished the one-hoss-shay. Now in building of chaises, I tell you what, There is always somewhere a weakest spot,— In hub, tire, felloe, in spring or thill, In panel, or crossbar, or floor, or sill, In screw, bolt, thoroughbrace,—lurking still, Find it somewhere you must and will,— Above or below, or within or without,— And that’s the reason, beyond a doubt, A chaise breaks down, but doesn’t wear out. But the Deacon swore (as Deacons do, With an “I dew vum,” or an “I tell yeou,”) He would build one shay to beat the taown ’n’ the keounty ’n’ all the kentry raoun’; It should be so built that it couldn’ break daown! —“Fur,” said the Deacon, “’t’s mighty plain Thut the weakes’ place mus’ stan’ the strain; ’n’ the way t’ fix it, uz I maintain, Is only jest T’ make that place uz strong uz the rest.” So the Deacon inquired of the village folk Where he could find the strongest oak, That couldn’t be split nor bent nor broke,— [14] [15] [16] That was for spokes and floor and sills; He sent for lancewood to make the thills; The crossbars were ash, from the straightest trees, The panels of whitewood, that cuts like cheese, But lasts like iron for things like these; The hubs of logs from the “Settler’s ellum,”— Last of its timber,—they couldn’t sell ’em, Never an axe had seen their chips, And the wedges flew from between their lip Their blunt ends frizzled like celery-tips; Step and prop-iron, bolt and screw, Spring, tire, axle, and linchpin too, Steel of the finest, bright and blue; Thoroughbrace bison-skin, thick and wide; Boot, top, dasher, from tough old hide Found in the pit when the tanner died. That was the way he “put her through.” “There!” said the Deacon, “naow she’ll dew.” Do! I tell you, I rather guess She was a wonder, and nothing less! The Deacon standing by the new chaise [17] [18] [19] Colts grew horses, beards turned gray, Deacon and deaconess dropped away, Children and grandchildren—where were they? But there stood the stout old one-hoss-shay As fresh as on Lisbon-earthquake-day! Drawing of gravestones Eighteen Hundred;—it came and found The Deacon’s Masterpiece strong and sound. Eighteen hundred increased by ten;— “Hahnsum kerridge” they called it then. Eighteen hundred and twenty came;— Running as usual; much the same. Thirty and forty at last arrive, [20] [21] And then come fifty, and FIFTY-FIVE. Little of all we value here Wakes on the morn of its hundredth year Without both feeling and looking queer. In fact, there’s nothing that keeps its youth, So far as I know, but a tree and truth. (This is a moral that runs at large; Take it.—You’re welcome.—No extra charge.) Drawing of the chaise parked in the yard First of November,—the Earthquake-day.— There are traces of age in the one-hoss-shay, A general flavor of mild decay, But nothing local, as one may say. There couldn’t be,—for the Deacon’s art Had made it so like in every part That there wasn’t a chance for one to start. For the wheels were just as strong as the thills, And the floor was just as strong as the sills, And the panels just as strong as the floor, And the whippletree neither less nor more, And the back-crossbar as strong as the fore, And spring and axle and hub encore, And yet, as a whole, it is past a doubt [22] [23] [24] In another hour it will be worn out! Drawing of the chaise stopped on the road First of November, ’Fifty-five! This morning the parson takes a drive. Now, small boys, get out of the way! Here comes the wonderful one-hoss-shay, Drawn by a rat-tailed, ewe-necked bay. “Huddup!” said the parson.—Off went they. Drawing of the Deacon driving the chaise The parson was working his Sunday’s text,— Had got to fifthly, and stopped perplexed At what the—Moses—was coming next. All at once the horse stood still, Close by the meet’n’-house on the hill. —First a shiver, and then a thrill, Then something decidedly like a spill,— [25] [26] [27] And the parson was sitting upon a rock, At half-past nine by the meet’n’-house clock,— Just the hour of the Earthquake shock! —What do you think the parson found, When he got up and stared around? The poor old chaise in a heap or mound, As if it had been to the mill and ground! You see, of course, if you’re not a dunce, How it went to pieces all at once,— All at once, and nothing first,— Just as bubbles do when they burst. Drawing of an angel blowing bubbles End of the wonderful one-hoss-shay. Logic is logic. That’s all I say. [28] [29] Decorative title HOW THE OLD HORSE WON THE BET ’T was on the famous trotting-ground, The betting men were gathered round From far and near; the “cracks” were there Whose deeds the sporting prints declare: The swift g. m., Old Hiram’s nag, The fleet s. h., Dan Pfeiffer’s brag, With these a third—and who is he That stands beside his fast b. g.? Budd Doble, whose catarrhal name So fills the nasal trump of fame. There too stood many a noted steed Of Messenger and Morgan breed; Green horses also, not a few; Unknown as yet what they could do; And all the hacks that know so well The scourgings of the Sunday swell. [30] [31] [32] [33] Drawing of a trotting horse pulling a light vehicle Blue are the skies of opening day; The bordering turf is green with May; The sunshine’s golden gleam is thrown On sorrel, chestnut, bay, and roan; The horses paw and prance and neigh, Fillies and colts like kittens play, And dance and toss their rippled manes Shining and soft as silken skeins; Wagons and gigs are ranged about, And fashion flaunts her gay turn-out; Here stands,—each youthful Jehu’s dream,— The jointed tandem, ticklish team! Drawing of a tandem team pulling light vehicle And there in ampler breadth expand The splendors of the four-in-hand; On faultless ties and glossy tiles The lovely bonnets beam their smiles; (The style’s the man, so books avow; The style’s the woman, anyhow;) From flounces frothed with creamy lace Peeps out the pug-dog’s smutty face, Or spaniel rolls his liquid eye, Or stares the wiry pet of Skye;— O woman, in your hours of ease So shy with us, so free with these! [34] [35] Drawing of the crowd at the race track “Come on! I’ll bet you two to one I’ll make him do it!” “Will you? Done!” What was it who was bound to do? I did not hear and can’t tell you,— Pray listen till my story’s through. [36] [37] [38] Scarce noticed, back behind the rest, By cart and wagon rudely prest, The parson’s lean and bony bay Stood harnessed in his one-horse shay— Lent to his sexton for the day; (A funeral—so the sexton said; His mother’s uncle’s wife was dead.) Like Lazarus bid to Dives’ feast, So looked the poor forlorn old beast; His coat was rough, his tail was bare, The gray was sprinkled in his hair; Sportsmen and jockeys knew him not, And yet they say he once could trot Among the fleetest of the town, Till something cracked and broke him down,— The steed’s, the statesman’s, common lot! “And are we then so soon forgot?” Ah me! I doubt if one of you Has ever heard the name “Old Blue,” Whose fame through all this region rung In those old days when I was young! “Bring forth the horse!” Alas! he showed Not like the one Mazeppa rode; Scant-maned, sharp-backed, and shaky-kneed, The wreck of what was once a steed, Lips thin, eyes hollow, stiff in joints; Yet not without his knowing points. The sexton laughing in his sleeve, As if ’t were all a make-believe, Led forth the horse, and as he laughed Unhitched the breeching from a shaft, Unclasped the rusty belt beneath, Drew forth the snaffle from his teeth, Slipped off his head-stall, set him free From strap and rein,—a sight to see! [39] [40] [41]