Praise for the mindful path to self-compassion “In this important book, Christopher Germer illuminates the myriad syn- ergies between mindfulness and compassion. He offers skillful and effec- tive ways of making sure that we are inviting ourselves to bathe in and benefit from the kind heart of awareness itself, and from the actions that follow from such a radical and sane embrace.” —Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD, author of Arriving at Your Own Door and Letting Everything Become Your Teacher “Self-compassion is the ground of all emotional healing, and Dr. Germer has produced an invaluable guide. Written with great clarity, psychologi- cal wisdom, and warmth, this book will serve anyone seeking practical and powerful tools that free the heart.” —Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance “Explains both the science and practice of developing kindness toward ourselves and others. Dr. Germer offers powerful and easily accessible steps toward transforming our lives from the inside out. It’s never too late to start along this important path.” —Daniel J. Siegel, MD, author of The Mindful Brain “An elegant and practical guide to cultivating self-compassion, by a dedi- cated and wise clinician and meditation teacher. The author offers time- honored practices and exercises with the potential to illuminate and transform the background chatter of our minds that determines so much of the course of our lives.” —Samuel Shem, MD, author of The House of God the mindful path to self- compassion Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions Christopher K. Germer, phD Foreword by Sharon Salzberg the GUiLForD press New York London  2009 The Guilford Press A Division of Guilford Publications, Inc. 72 Spring Street, New York, NY 10012 www.guilford.com All rights reserved The information in this volume is not intended as a substitute for consultation with healthcare professionals. Each individual’s health concerns should be evaluated by a qualified professional. No part of this book may be reproduced, translated, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, microfilming, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher. Printed in the United States of America This book is printed on acid-free paper. Last digit is print number: 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Library of Congress Cataloging-in- Publication Data Germer, Christopher K. The mindful path to self- compassion : freeing yourself from destructive thoughts and emotions / Christopher K. Germer. — 1st ed. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 978-1-60623-284-2 (hardcover : alk. paper) — ISBN 978-1-59385-975-6 (pbk. : alk. paper) 1. Emotions. 2. Compassion. 3. Thought and thinking. 4. Meditations—Therapeutic use. I. Title. BF531.G47 2009 152′.4—dc22 2008054860 To my mother, who taught me the meaning of compassion contents foreword ix acknowledgments xi introduction 1 Part I discovering self- compassion 1. being kind to yourself 9 2. listening to your body 36 3. bringing in difficult emotions 61 4. what’s self-compassion? 81 5. pathways to self-compassion 101 Part II practicing loving-kindness 6. caring for ourselves 129 7. caring for others 160 vii viii contents Part III customizing self-compassion 8. finding your balance 193 9. making progress 221 Appendix A. emotion words 245 Appendix B. additional self- compassion exercises 254 Appendix C. further reading and practice 268 notes 281 index 300 about the author 306