Resources by John Ortberg An Ordinary Day with Jesus (curriculum series, with Ruth Haley Barton) Everybody’s Normal Till You Get to Know Them (book, audio, curriculum) God Is Closer Than You Think (book, audio, curriculum) If You Want to Walk On Water, You’ve Got to Get Out of the Boat (book, audio, curriculum) The Life You’ve Always Wanted (book, audio, curriculum) Living the God Life Love Beyond Reason Old Testament Challenge (curriculum series, with Kevin and Sherry Harney) [EXPANDED EDITION] LIFE YOU’VE ALWAYS THE WANTED spiritual disciplines for ordinary people JOHN ORTBERG Copyright The Life You’ve Always Wanted Epub Reader Format Copyright © 1997, 2002 by John Ortberg Requests for information should be addressed to: Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530 ISBN-13: 978-0-310-56589-5 All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright © 1989 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. All rights reserved. Used by permission. ® ® Scripture quotations identified as NIV are taken from the Holy Bible: New International Version . NIV . Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other— except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher. Cover design: Jamie DeBruyn Cover photo: Bill Brooks / Masterfile To Windsor House, in fulfillment of a long-time promise: Chuck, Kevin, Jerry, Don, Tommy, Guy, and Rich. And to Nancy. CONTENTS Resources by John Ortberg Copyright Preface 1. “We Shall Morph Indeed”: The Hope of Transformation 2. Surprised by Change: The Goal of Spiritual Life 3. Training Vs. Trying: The Truth About Spiritual Disciplines 4. A “Dee Dah Day”: The Practice of Celebration 5. An Unhurried Life: The Practice of “Slowing” 6. Interrupting Heaven: The Practice of Prayer 7. “Appropriate Smallness”: The Practice of Servanthood 8. Life Beyond Regret: The Practice of Confession 9. The Guided Life: Receiving Guidance from the Holy Spirit 10. A Life of Freedom: The Practice of Secrecy 11. An Undivided Life: The Practice of Reflection on Scripture 12. Life with a Well-ordered Heart: Developing Your Own “Rule of Life” 13. A Life of Endurance: The Experience of Suffering Sources Appendix: Study Guide About the Author About the Publisher PREFACE How do I grow? What does a spiritually mature person even look like? Why does it seem so hard, and go so slowly? Will I ever really be any different? To paraphrase Lew Smedes: If you have ever been frustrated with what you know of spiritual life, ever wondered if real change is possible, ever felt confused or stuck—you’re my kind of person. I wrote this book for you. The Christian gospel insists that the transformation of the human personality really is possible. Never easy. Rarely quick. But possible. I see it happening in people sometimes—occasionally even in myself. It begins to happen anytime people become intensely serious about learning from Jesus how to arrange their lives. Wise people across the centuries have devoted themselves to this. But the Way of Jesus needs to be restudied and reapplied to every age and social setting. This book is an attempt to make some of that wisdom accessible to people who live in a world of freeways and corporate ladders and Nintendo rather than monasteries and deserts. I hope you will take it as an invitation to live Christ’s Way, because it is the only invitation that really matters. I want to thank several people who read all or parts of this manuscript, and offered encouragement or suggestions to make it a better book. They include Max DePree, Scott and Laurie Pederson, Lee Strobel, Dieter Zander, Sam Reeves, Jodi Walle, Richard Foster, Bill Hybels, Mickey Maudlin, and John Sr. and Kathy Ortberg. Thanks to John and Linda Anderson for their gracious offer of a wonderful place in which to write. My wife, Nancy, has offered a patient and unceasing ministry as a sounding board for a constant flow of random ideas. Jack Kuhatschek of Zondervan has been a joy to work with and a fountain of feedback and stimulation, without which this project would have been impoverished. Jim Ruark as well has brought clarity and precision. In particular, I want to express a debt of gratitude to Dallas Willard, whose thinking and writing about spiritual formation have had an enormous impact on my life and ministry, as it has on so many others. (In fact, one of my private working titles for this book was Dallas for Dummies.) While I wouldn’t want to saddle him with any of its deficiencies, much of whatever merit this book has is due to him. CHAPTER 1 “WE SHALL MORPH INDEED” The Hope of Transformation Now, with God’s help, I shall become myself. SØREN KIERKEGAARD I could not quiet that pearly ache in my heart that I diagnosed as the cry of home. PAT CONROY I am disappointed with myself. I am disappointed not so much with particular things I have done as with aspects of who I have become. I have a nagging sense that all is not as it should be. Some of this disappointment is trivial. I wouldn’t have minded getting a more muscular physique. I can’t do basic home repairs. So far I haven’t shown much financial wizardry. Some of this disappointment is neurotic. Sometimes I am too concerned about what others think of me, even people I don’t know. Some of this disappointment, I know, is worse than trivial; it is simply the sour fruit of self-absorption. I attend a high school reunion and can’t choke back the desire to stand out by looking more attractive or having achieved more impressive accomplishments than my classmates. I speak to someone with whom I want to be charming, and my words come out awkward and pedestrian. I am disappointed in my ordinariness. I want to be, in the words of Garrison Keillor, named “Sun-God, King of America, Idol of Millions, Bringer of Fire, The Great Haji, Thun-Dar the Boy Giant.”