The Jesus I Never Knew Copyright ©1995 by Philip Yancey Requests for information should be addressed to: ZondervanPublishingHouse Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Yancey, Philip, 1949 The Jesus I never knew / Philip Yancey. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references (p. ). ISBN: 0-310-38570-9 (hardcover : alk. paper) 1. Jesus Christ—Person and offices. 2. Jesus Christ—Biography. 3. Jesus Christ—Teachings. I. Title. BT202.Y33 1995 232—dc20 95-9395 CIP International Trade Paper Edition 0-310-20407-0 This edition printed on acid-free paper and meets the American National Standards Institute Z39.48 standard. All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: New International Version ®. NIV©. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. "Seven Stanzas at Easter," from Telephone Poles and Other Poems by John Updike. Copyright ©1961 by John Updike. Reprinted by permission of Alfred A. Knopf,Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher. Edited by John Sloan Interior design by Sue Koppenol Cover illustration: "The Lord's Image" by Heinrich Hoffman, courtesy of Superstock Printed in the United States of America 95 96 97 98 99 00 01 02 /(cid:153) DH/ 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 2 Contents Part One Who He Was 1. The Jesus I Thought I Knew 2. Birth: The Visited Planet 3. Background: Jewish Roots and Soil 4. Temptation: Showdown in the Desert 5. Profile: What Would I Have Noticed? Part Two Why He Came 6. Beatitudes: Lucky Are the Unlucky 7. Message: A Sermon of Offense 8. Mission: A Revolution of Grace 9. Miracles: Snapshots of the Supernatural 10. Death: The Final Week 11. Resurrection: A Morning Beyond Belief Part Three What He Left Behind 12. Ascension: A Blank Blue Sky 13. Kingdom: Wheat Among the Weeds 14. The Difference He Makes 3 Thanks .. . To the class I taught, and was taught by, at LaSalle Street Church in Chicago. To Tim Stafford, Bud Ogle, and Walter Wangerin Jr., whose perceptive comments caused me to rewrite this book several more times than I would have on my own. To Verlyn Verbrugge, for his careful technical editing on matters of biblical accuracy. To my editor John Sloan, who patiently endured, and helped improve, all those drafts. 4 THE JESUS I NEVER KNEW 5 Part One W ho He Was 6 1 T he Jesus I Thought I Knew Suppose we hear an unknown man spoken of by many men. Suppose we were puzzled to hear that some men said he was too tall and some too short; some objected to his fatness, some lamented his leanness; some thought him too dark, and some too fair. One explanation . . . would be that he might be an odd shape. But there is another explanation. He might be the right shape. . . . Perhaps (in short) this extraordinary thing is really the ordinary thing; at least the normal thing, the centre. G. K. Chesterton 7 1 The Jesus I Thought I Knew I first got acquainted with Jesus when I was a child, singing "Jesus Loves Me" in Sunday school, addressing bedtime prayers to "Dear Lord Jesus," watching Bible Club teachers move cutout figures across a flannelgraph board. I associated Jesus with Kool-Aid and sugar cookies and gold stars for good attendance. I remember especially one image from Sunday school, an oil painting that hung on the concrete block wall. Jesus had long, flowing hair, unlike that of any man I knew. His face was thin and handsome, his skin waxen and milky white. He wore a robe of scarlet, and the artist had taken pains to show the play of light on its folds. In his arms, Jesus cradled a small sleeping lamb. I imagined myself as that lamb, blessed beyond all telling. Recently, I read a book that the elderly Charles Dickens had written to sum up the life of Jesus for his children. In it, the portrait emerges of a sweet Victorian nanny who pats the heads of boys and girls and offers such advice as, "Now, children, you must be nice to your mummy and daddy." With a start I recalled the Sunday school image of Jesus that I grew up with: someone kind and reassuring, with no sharp edges at all—a Mister Rogers before the age of children's television. As a child I felt comforted by such a person. Later, while attending a Bible college, I encountered a different image. A painting popular in those days depicted Jesus, hands out-stretched, suspended in a Dali-like pose over the United Nations building in New York City. Here was the cosmic Christ, the One in whom all things inhere, the still point of the turning world. This world figure had come a long way from the lamb-toting shepherd of my childhood. Still, students spoke of the cosmic Jesus with a shocking intimacy. The faculty urged us to develop a "personal relationship with Jesus Christ," and in chapel services we hymned our love for him in most familiar terms. One song told about walking beside him in a gar-den with dew still on the roses. Students testifying about their faith casually dropped in phrases like "The Lord told me. . . ." My own faith hung in a kind of skeptical suspension during my time there. I was wary, confused, questioning. Looking in retrospect on my years at Bible college, I see that, despite all the devotional intimacies, Jesus grew remote from me there. He became an object of scrutiny. I memorized the list of thirty-four specific miracles in the Gospels but missed the impact of just one miracle. I learned the Beatitudes yet never faced the fact that none of us—I above all—could make sense of those mysterious sayings, let alone live by them. A little later, the decade of the 1960s (which actually reached me, along with most of the 8 church, in the early 1970s) called everything into question. Jesus freaks—the very term would have been an oxymoron in the tranquil 1950s—suddenly appeared on the scene, as if deposited there by extraterrestrials. No longer were Jesus' followers well-scrubbed representatives of the middle class; some were unkempt, disheveled radicals. Liberation theologians began enshrining Jesus on posters in a troika along with Fidel Castro and Che Guevara. It dawned on me that virtually all portrayals of Jesus, including the Good Shepherd of my Sunday school and the United Nations Jesus of my Bible college, showed him wearing a mustache and beard, both of which were strictly banned from the Bible college. Questions now loomed that had never occurred to me in childhood. For example, How would telling people to be nice to one another get a man crucified? What government would execute Mister Rogers or Captain Kangaroo? Thomas Paine said that no religion could be truly divine which has in it any doctrine that offends the sensibilities of a little child. Would the cross qualify? In 1971 I first saw the movie The Gospel According to St. Matthew, directed by Italian filmmaker Pier Paolo Pasolini. Its release had scandalized not only the religious establishment, who barely recognized the Jesus on-screen, but also the film community, who knew Pasolini as an outspoken homosexual and Marxist. Pasolini wryly dedicated the film to Pope John Paul XXIII, the man indirectly responsible for its creation. Trapped in an enormous traffic jam during a papal visit to Florence, Pasolini had checked into a hotel room where, bored, he picked up a copy of the New Testament from the bedside table and read through Matthew. What he discovered in those pages so startled him that he determined to make a film using no text but the actual words from Matthew's gospel. Pasolini's film captures well the reappraisal of Jesus that took place in the 1960s. Shot in southern Italy on a tight budget, it evokes in chalky whites and dusty grays something of the Palestinian surroundings Jesus lived in. The Pharisees wear towering headpieces, and Herod's soldiers faintly resemble Fascist squadristi. The disciples act like bumbling raw recruits, but Jesus himself, with a steady gaze and a piercing intensity, seems fearless. The parables and other sayings, he fires in clipped phrases over his shoulder as he dashes from place to place. The impact of Pasolini's film can only be understood by one who passed through adolescence during that tumultuous period. Back then it had the power to hush scoffing crowds at art theaters. Student radicals realized they were not the first to proclaim a message that was jarringly antimaterialistic, antihypocritical, pro-peace, and pro-love. For me, the film helped to force a disturbing revaluation of my image of Jesus. In physical appearance, Jesus favored those who would have been kicked out of Bible college and rejected by most churches. Among his contemporaries he somehow gained a reputation as "a wine-bibber and a glutton." Those in authority, whether religious or political, regarded him as a troublemaker, a disturber of the peace. He spoke and acted like a revolutionary, scorning fame, family, property, and other traditional measures of success. I could not dodge the fact that the words in Pasolini's film were taken entirely from Matthew's gospel, yet their message clearly did not fit my prior conception of Jesus. About this same time a Young Life worker named Bill Milliken, who had founded a commune in an inner-city neighborhood, wrote So Long, Sweet Jesus. The title of that book gave words to the change at work inside me. In those days I was employed as the editor of Campus Life magazine, an official publication of Youth For Christ. Who was this Christ, after all? I wondered. As I wrote, and edited the writing of others, a tiny dybbuk of doubt hovered just to my side. Do you really believe that? Or are you merely dispensing the party line, what you're paid to believe? Have you joined the safe, conservative establishment—modern versions of the 9 groups who felt so threatened by Jesus? As often as not I avoided writing directly about Jesus. When I switched on my computer this morning, Microsoft Windows flashed the date, implicitly acknowledging that, whatever you may believe about it, the birth of Jesus was so important that it split history into two parts. Everything that has ever happened on this planet falls into a category of before Christ or after Christ. Richard Nixon got carried away with excitement in 1969 when Apollo astronauts first landed on the moon. "It's the greatest day since Creation!" crowed the president, until Billy Graham solemnly reminded him of Christmas and Easter. By any measure of history Graham was right. This Galilean, who in his lifetime spoke to fewer people than would fill just one of the many stadia Graham has filled, changed the world more than any other person. He introduced a new force field into history, and now holds the allegiance of a third of all people on earth. Today, people even use Jesus' name to curse by. How strange it would sound if, when a businessman missed a golf putt, he yelled, "Thomas Jefferson!" or if a plumber screamed "Mahatma Gandhi!" when his pipe wrench mashed a finger. We cannot get away from this man Jesus. "More than 1900 years later," said H. G. Wells, "a historian like myself, who doesn't even call himself a Christian, finds the picture centering irresistibly around the life and character of this most significant man. . . . The historian's test of an individual's greatness is `What did he leave to grow?' Did he start men to thinking along fresh lines with a vigor that persisted after him? By this test Jesus stands first." You can gauge the size of a ship that has passed out of sight by the huge wake it leaves behind. And yet I am not writing a book about Jesus because he is a great man who changed history. I am not tempted to write about Julius Caesar or the Chinese emperor who built the Great Wall. I am drawn to Jesus, irresistibly, because he positioned himself as the dividing point of life—my life. "I tell you, whoever acknowledges me before men, the Son of Man will also acknowledge him before the angels of God," he said. According to Jesus, what I think about him and how I respond will determine my destiny for all eternity. Sometimes I accept Jesus' audacious claim without question. Sometimes, I confess, I wonder what difference it should make to my life that a man lived two thousand years ago in a place called Galilee. Can I resolve this inner tension between doubter and lover? I tend to write as a means of confronting my own doubts. My book titles— Where Is God When It Hurts, Disappointment with God—betray me. I return again and again to the same questions, as if fingering an old wound that never quite heals. Does God care about the misery down here? Do we really matter to God? Once, for a two-week period, I was snowbound in a mountain cabin in Colorado. Blizzards closed all roads and, somewhat like Pasolini, I had nothing to do but read the Bible. I went through it slowly, page by page. In the Old Testament I found myself identifying with those who boldly stood up to God: Moses, Job, Jeremiah, Habakkuk, the psalmists. As I read, I felt I was watching a play with human characters who acted out their lives of small triumph and large tragedy onstage, while periodically calling to an unseen Stage Manager, "You don't know what it's like out here!" Job was most brazen, flinging to God this accusation: "Do you have eyes of flesh? Do you see as a mortal sees?" 10