“When three great minds like these collaborate, a prism is created through which a light of wisdom can shine in the darkest of places. A must- read for all people touched by this unfathomable dilemma.” — Judge Michele Lowrance (ret), mediator and author of The Good Karma Divorce and Parental Alienation 911 “In each journey through parental alienation, it is easy to lose the way. What seems to be a clear and just path in navigating family court is not always reality. Amy J. L. Baker, Brian Ludmer, and J. Michael Bone have given alienated parents a comprehensive road map that allows them to make their journey through this highly emotional period with level heads and hearts. The authors’ work empowers readers and leaves them feeling revived, secure, and con- fident as they travel to their final destination: reunification with their children.” — Jill Egizii, president of the Parental Alienation Awareness Organization, USA “The High- Conflict Custody Battle is a joint effort by writers with complementary skills and expertise: Amy J. L. Baker, PhD, is a research psychologist who has studied child psychological abuse; J. Michael Bone, PhD, is a clinical and forensic psychologist; and Brian Ludmer, BComm, LLB, is an attorney whose practice focusses on high conflict family law. The three authors have created a book that is both scholarly and highly practical, which will be helpful for mothers and fathers who find themselves coping with a difficult, overly litigious marital separation or divorce. The book addresses in detail the personal and legal crises that frequently occur in high- conflict divorce, such as parental alienation; allegations of domes- tic violence and child sexual abuse; and undertaking a child custody evaluation. It is notable that the authors acknowledge that all the participants in these legal battles have both flaws and biases, so no one is expected to be perfect. Although this book is primarily intended for divorcing parents, it will also be good reading for mental health and legal professionals, including judges.” — William Bernet, MD, professor emeritus in the department of psychiatry, Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, Nashville, TN “Having recently tried the most publicized parental alienation case to a successful conclusion, I highly recommend this book for parents coping with an alienating spouse. The authors have provided an effective guide to assist parents through difficult litigation. This book should be read by every targeted parent.” — Jim Pritikin, fellow of The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers The HigH-ConfliCt C U S t oD Y B a t t l e Protect Yourself & Your Kids from a toxic Divorce, false accusations & Parental alienation amy J. l. Baker, PhD J. Michael Bone, PhD Brian ludmer, BComm, llB new Harbinger Publications, inc. Publisher’s Note This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought. Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books Copyright © 2014 by Amy J. L. Baker, Michael J. Bone, and Brian Ludmer New Harbinger Publications, Inc. 5674 Shattuck Avenue Oakland, CA 94609 www.newharbinger.com Cover design by Amy Shoup Acquired by Melissa Kirk Edited by Will Derooy All Rights Reserved Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Baker, Amy J. L., author. The high-conflict custody battle : protect yourself and your kids from a toxic divorce, false accusations, and parental alienation / Amy J. L. Baker, J. Michael Bone, Brian Ludmer. pages cm Includes bibliographical references. ISBN 978-1-62625-073-4 (paperback) -- ISBN 978-1-62625-074-1 (pdf e-book) -- ISBN 978-1-62625-075-8 (epub) 1. Custody of children--United States. 2. Parent and child (Law)--United States. 3. Divorce--Law and legislation--United States. 4. Children of divorced parents--United States. 5. Parental alienation syndrome. 6. Psychological child abuse. I. Bone, J. Michael, author. II. Ludmer, Brian, author. III. Title. KF547.B35 2014 346.7301’73--dc23 2014016748 We dedicate this book to our families, from whom we have learned so much about love, respect, and compassion, and to parents and children affected by high- conflict custody disputes and loyalty conflicts. May they find a way to remain connected despite the forces pulling them apart. Contents Acknowledgments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .vii Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 1 High- Conflict Custody Disputes and Litigation: An Overview . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 2 Coping with a High- Conflict Custody Dispute: Taking Care of Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19 3 Finding and Working with the Right Attorney . . . . . . .53 4 Finding and Working with the Right Mental Health Consultant . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .75 5 Documenting Your Case for Your Attorney . . . . . . . . .91 6 Preparing for a Custody Evaluation . . . . . . . . . . . . 123 7 Finding and Working with the Right Expert Witness . . . 149 8 Addressing False Allegations of Child Abuse and Domestic Violence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 167 9 What to Ask for in Court . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 183 Appendix A: List of Statutes Pertaining to the Best Interest of the Child . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 207 Appendix B: Example of a Court Order Transferring Custody to the Targeted Parent . . . . . . . 211 References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 223 Acknowledgments We gratefully acknowledge the wonderful team at New Harbinger Publications, who create a collaborative writing and editing process, including Melissa Kirk and Jess Beebe, and freelance copyeditor Will DeRooy. The book has been greatly improved through their keen attention to the words and their meaning, ensuring that the book would speak to the broadest range of parents.