THE UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA U of A joins CASA by Gabe Fantino tive at all. I don’t see. them as ever Fredericton, N.B.— A newerain dealing with the actual policy mak- Canadian student politics was ush- ers and they don’t keep political ered in Monday with the creation of reality in mind when they do. They the first new national student alli- protest, yelland get angry but don’t ance in fifteen years. - back it up with alternatives,” said Student leaders from over 20 Kyle Kasawski, U of A SU vp exter- universities, including the Univer- nal. sity of Alberta, gathered in CASA will levy a fee based on Fredericton to finalize a constitu- school enrolment and SU revenue. tion and give birth to the Canadian The U of A will pay approximately Alliance of Student Associations. $17,000 towards operating costs. A The new organization will fea- CFS membership would cost about ture 15 to 20 member universities $180,000 for the U of A. and a permanent staff in Ottawa to “The fact that the universities will lobby the federal government on be working together frees up the post-secondary education issues. An underlying issue at the con- “This organization has taken ference is the Canadian Federation a serious look at what has of Students which has been gone wrong with previous Canada’s national student group organizations, like CFS.” since its formation in 1981, but now —Suzanne Scott, U of A SU appears ready to crumble. The U of president A was a founding member of CFS but pulled out two years after join- ing. researchers on campus to work on CASA will be a better lobbying their own stuff. ehicle than CFS because it will be “The bottom line is we will be a strictly political body, according better able to handle local issues o Uof A Students’ Union president because of the resources being freed Suzanne Scott, and will avoid tack- and we will be doing a betterjob on ling social issues. the national level too,” said Patrick “We haven’t been involved in a Horan, University of Manitoba’s SU ational group like this for a long director of communications. ime and I think we’ve not had the During the constitutional talks bame national voice that a lot of Monday, the issue of bilingualism Dther schools have had on a lot of came up. Some universities, such as ssues. So we don’t have that access the University of Ottawa [which is o the federal government. a bilingual university] wanted to “But more importantly, this or- see the director and staff of CASA panization has taken a serious look fluent in both official languages. ht what has gone wrong with previ- The lengthy debate that followed bus organizations, like CFS, and was finally resolved in a motion ried to look at where schools are that decreed they should indeed be ow and how to best lobby for the bilingual. tudents,” commented Scott. “The only thing that is up in the If most of the schools expected to air is Ottawa. They are a really oin CASA Tuesday sign on as ex- strong students’ union and beingin pected, it will represent about the capital they are an important 50,000 post-secondary students. students’ union to have involved FS is currently about the same because of their contacts. However, ize, but will lose many of its mem- I think we will end up with them in bers as they jump ship to CASA. this,” said Patrick FitzPatrick, Uni- Mike LaRiviére “CFS’s role in lobbying the fed- versity of New Brunswick SU vp Chixdiggit loses control. And so did the female population in attendance.... ral government hasn’t been effec- university affairs. rushell vs Ady—contained debate reveals little by Darren Zenko In his opening statements, Ady ing budget. per cent to accomodate this pro- sible on our part to encourage Fewer than 30 people were in claimed that “ensuring Albertans “Alberta sees a 70-30 split as ap- posal.” graduate students to stop teaching ttendance at Grant MacEwan have access to quality learning op- propriate,” said Ady. “If the fed- Although most of the audience’s or conducting research for a day.” ommuCollnegei Montdayy ni ght portunities is a priority for the gov- eral proposals were accepted, it concerns were directed at Ady, In his final statements, Ady ap- is provincial Advanced Education ernment of Alberta.” would shift the balance to a 40-60 Krushell fielded her share of ques- plauded the GSA’s approach. inister Jack Ady and University Ady also acknowledged that the split—the public would pay 40 per tions. “They were able to get their points ffA lberta Graduate Students’ As- provincial government was “not cent, the students would pay 60 per One student inquired why the acrossinan exchange, and although pciation president Kim Krushell the only player in the arena,” refer- cent.” GSA decided not to promote or not everyone may agree with it, et in an unprecedented public ring to the federal government and Although Ady repeatedly re- participate in the student strike of that’s amore effective way than the iscussion. the much-debated Green paper. ferred to the 70-30 split as fair, he January 25. rally would have been.” Billed as both a debate and a One topic which came up repeat- left little doubt as to what will hap- “One reason was that the GSA After the forum Ady seemed brum, the event, moderated by edly during the discussion was the pen to it when federal funding is negotiates teaching internships and somewhat positive, saying he felt brmer New Democrat MLA Pam provincial tuition cap. Currently, cut. research internships directly with that there should be a forum “from arett, consisted of a few scripted the cap requires that students be “We'd have to revisit the tuition the University administration,” re- time to time,” but was noncommital ebate topics plus an open-mike forced to pay for no more than 30 fee policy,” he claimed. “Tuition sponded Krushell. “And we whenasked if he would participate estion period. per cent of the University’s operat- would have to increase about 93 thought it would be very irrespon- in further events of this type. Bio Sci demystified......:+::.+::....page 5 | “Not that I spoke much more English than he spoke French.” Abstract photo. cisieweers..:01s2211288page 9 —Narmin Hassam, SU up internal, Bears look uUp....1cscessssseersseperaeg.e 15 eloquently discussing her shortcomings More reader surveyS.....000000:.,page 18 | Page2 Tuesday, January 31,1995 GATEWAY Blowing smoke at U oo Notice to Students SG; cecetea Payment of Fees by Ricki Johnston and Trent Johnson AVOID LINEUPS Six people die every minute from cigarettes, according to an articlein the Globe and Mail on Sept. 20, 1994 LINEUPS ARE INEVITABLE . This type of information was a contributing factor behind the Students who wait until the fee payment smopolkicyi imnplemgente d by the deadline and who intend to pay with cash can University of Alberta January1st expect lineups of up to two hours. which states that all “spaces within buildings under the control of the LINEUPS ARE AVOIDABLE University...are non-smoking ar- e Pay by cheque. Drop boxes are located eas.” The motivation for the policy, on the main and third floors of the ad- according to Peter Taitt, executive ministration building no waiting or, assistant to the U of A’s vp finance e Pay before the deadline or, and administration, came from “an awareness of two things: one, the e Pay at any Bank of Montreal Branch dangers of smoking and second- hand smoke, and two, the Payment Deadline is January 31 University’s liability ifit is not seen to be acting responsibly.” Office of the Comptroller The disciplinary actions for vio- lating the smoking policy will sim- aaa ply follow the guidelines outlined inden Tuition Fee Payment in the Student Code of Behavior Cp Deadline - January 31 regulating all student conduct. This means that disciplinary action be- gins with an official reprimand and The last day for payment of undergraduate and graduate fees can go as far as expulsion. is January 31. Enforcintgh e smoking policy has been unofficially left up to Campus If paying in installments the amount of the first installment Security. However, Taitt feels is first term assessment as indicated on the Fee Assessment “Campus Security will not simply provided with your Class Timetable Notice. The second term say that if you’re smoking you’re installment, plus the $25 installment charge, must be paid by expelled, that would not seem rea- sonable. I would think you would January 31st. get a warning.” David Williamson Fee accounts unpaid by the above deadlines will be assessed Doug Langevin, director of Cam- The signs may be out of reach but Campus Five-O isn’t. a $15 penalty. Thereafter a monthly penalty of $15 will be pus Security Services, said that al- to be in these areas and hand out sion is way too severe,” said one assessed. Cheques which are not honoured by the payer's bank though Campus Security will be official warnings. However, it smoker, who wished to remain will be subject to a $15 collection charge in addition to the enforcintgh e policy,“ wedon’thave would take a number of com- anonymous. Arts student Ayal Dinner on the any offensive checking. We simply plaints.” late payment penalty. respond to complaints. We just Campus Security has not yet other hand, felt that the policy was If fees are to be paid from some from of student assistance fair and was a good idea. “I say don’t have enough time.” handed out any fines, but will be please refer to section 22.2.6 of the 1994/95 Timetable Ad- The two main areas Campus Se- willing to do so for repeat offend- smokers can smoke outside. Once dendum & Schedule of Fees booklet. curity has received complaints ers. it’s outside it’s fine.” about are CAB and Trail. Student response to the new re- Dinner’s sentiment was echoed If assistance is required please call us at 492-3389. “If it becomes a serious enough quirements for butting out’ was by Music student Kerry McGonigle Fees Section, Office of the Comptroller who also supported having Cam- problem and if people continue to mixed. “The policy is totally unfair. do it, we would put on a program A possibility of a $500 fine or expul- pus Security pursue offenders. Students learn market rules Listen. by Ricki Johnston cisions as voters.” Canada Good For The West?” “For those who think we can Students first heard Lydia Miljan which gave arguments in favour of grow our way out of our debt-defi- speak on “The Distorted Lens: TV national unity. cit spiral, I say think again.” News and Public Policy.” As head Tom Flanagan, professor of Po- Nobody does it better. This is the kind of comment you of the national media archives at litical Science at the University of would have heard had you been the institute, she was qualified to Calgary, gave the final talk, called one of the 135 students who at- state: “The means of influencing “The Reform Party: Populism or tended the Fraser Institute’s semi- what people think is precisely to Conservatism.” nar on public policy issues Satur- “The solution to our problems is...the restoration of liberty day. The Fraser Institute is a conser- and free enterprise.” —Fraser Institute pamphlet vative think tank located in Vancouver that offers market based alternatives to public policy issues. control whatthey think about.” This According to Miljan’s words, “The solution to our problems is was her major concern with the “The Fraser Institute distinguishes not more paternalism, laws, decrees media. itself by being the organization and controls, but the restoration of In his talk entitled “Canada’s unfairly attributed the label most liberty and free enterprise,” reads Debt: Digging Our Way Out,” often as a right wing think tank.” one pamphlet. Nihlar shocked the crowd with the However, Craig Senyk, astudent According to Fazil Nihlar, a statement that: “A study of 185 at the U of A, felt “the Fraser Insti- policy analyst with the institute, economies worldwide puts Canada tute is merely expressing a differ- “The purpose of the seminar is to in the most indebted category ent ideology, a business ideology.” give students a forum to discuss known as the SIC list [Seriously Diana Scott,astudentfrom SAIT, public policy issues and to debate Indebted Country].” said “the seminar is really great. them so they can become more Gordon Gibson, a journalist and It’s thoughtful to get those issues knowledgeable and make good de- author, gave a talk entitled “Is out and talk about them.” Quality over quantity at food bank by Carrie Hunter proposes that groups compete to tions are eagerly received by bank Beans and ichiban, the staples of donate to the food bank, alter their volunteers.” She cites the example every haggard university student's competitions to accentuate the do- of a competition held among engi- diet, are not in demand at the food nation of the most scarce food. neers during Engineering Week. bank—at least not right now. Proskin maintains that the Proskin says these groups followed “Students aren't really consider- scheme should de-emphasize foods her advice about organizing a drive ing the nutrient quality of the food that overflow the food bank shelves that emphasized cash instead of Applications are now being accepted for summer that they donate to the food bank,” like noodles and beans, by counting food donations. The Petroleum/ jobs on cruiseships, airlines and resorts. says Moira Proskin, campus food them as one point for each dona- Mineral engineers, for example, No experience is necessary. bank coordinator. “V arious student tion. Rarer food contributions such donated $350. For more information send $2.00 and a Self-addressed stamped envelope to: groups tend to emphasize the quan- as rice, powdered milk, canned Proskin gratefully accepts all do- World Wide Travel Club tity of the donation over its qual- stews and canned fruits and veg- nations, but maintains “ that the easi 5334 Yonge Street ity.” etables should be highlighted by est way to avoid donating too muc Suite 1407 Proskin suggests that students scoring them five points per contri- of one type of food is to inquire Toronto, Ontario need to re-evaluate the types of food bution. about the kinds of food currentl M2N 6M2 they contribute to the bank. She Proskin adds that “cash dona- required by the bank.” GATEWAY ‘Tuesday, January 31,1995 Page 3 Lubicon Cree reflect on fight vps swap tales by Carrie Hunter “The government flat out lies by Gabe Fantino the timing of the conference was about much of this [treaty negotia- Fredericton, N. B— A group perfect since he is cues tions],” said Fred Lennarson, the ofstudent leaders camet ther Lubicon advisor, to a group of course evaluations : : about fifty Monday. The talk was New Brunswick, but thi “The round table iscuscions - part of the week-long Global Vi- wasn’t to discuss their personal and thei nformation sharing was sions festival. Lennarson spoke in ambitions or how to fight ay the best part. But we also talked place of Bernard Ominayak, ernment cutbacks. _ about course evaluations, about Lubicon chief, who was called back _ Students’ Union vice presi- increasing accountability of to Little Buffalo. SS academics from across: teachers to Lennarson discussed the politi- } cal and economic ramifications of a band that, by choice, hasn’t en- | tered into a treaty with the federal government. Lennarson asserts that the province of Alberta has disregarded the Lubicon land } claim. With debate intensifying in ~ "David Williamson the 1950s, “the province, seeking Bernard Ominayak, Lubicon chief, discusses the future. to participate in oil exploration in the Lubicon area, wrote to the fed- Buffalo. Lennarson, commenting a 1981-82 court case that the eral government requesting that on the devastating effects of this Lubicon presented to secure their they either make a reserve or not.” drilling, noted that moose hunting rights to lands that provincial oil Lennarson contends that the fed- decreased from a high of 218 in companies were exploring. eral government responded with 1979-80 to 19 in 1983. Lennarson maintains that the prov- the written assertion that the loca- He also noted that dependence ince argued “the case cannot be tion of the Lubicon band was “ad- on the welfare program which was heard, because the government ministratively inconvenient.” instituted in 1981 increased “from cannot be sued, and even if they The Lubicon, according to almost nothing to a 95 per cent rate could be sued the balance of con- Lennarson, were regarded by both of dependencein 1983.” Lennarson venience, in other words the rights levels of government as “squatters maintains that the Lubicon’s in- of the majority, outweigh the rights on provincial crown land.” The creased reliance on welfare is due of this little society [the Lubicon].” governments’ position on the sta- “to a collapse of the traditional Lennarson asserted that one of tus of the Lubicon created a diffi- economy.” the ultimate goals of the band “is to cult situation for the band when oil He cited the irresponsible atti- achieve a new economy that re- drilling began in earnest, in the tude of both provincial and federal sembles the structure of their tra- early 1980s. levels of government as contribut- ditional economy.” They hope to According to Lennarson, in 1982- ing factors in the demise of viable accomplish this by investing in a 83 over 400 oil wells were drilled land use by the Lubicon. saskatoon-berry co-op and a cattle within a 15 mile radius of Little He discussed the implications of operation. Former FLQ member visits Fac by Jay Brown “There were a lot of people [in leftist groups and unions that were The Faculté Saint Jean opened the association] who were very forced underground in the late its doors to a dubious guest Sun- upset that we invited him,” said 1960s by both the federal and Qué- day, as former FLQ terrorist Paul Klassen, noting that a university bec governments. He described the Rose came .to discuss the future. of must be a place where opinions process in Québec today as condu- Québec sovereignity with a small can be expressed. cive to political alternatives. gathering of people. However, Klassen and others On the murder of Laporte, Rose Rose was one of four people who “No one mentions the 300 answered one question by stating kidnapped and murdered Pierre that he and the others took “collec- workers who died under Laporte, the Québec Labour min- tive responsibility for the Laporte’s tenure as Labour ister, in 1970. Laporte’s murder pre- assasination of Laporte.” minister.” cipitated the October Crisis, a pe- Rose then attempted to justify riod in October 1970 when the gov- —Paul Rose, former FLQ the murder by questioning why ernment imposed martial law to terrorist Laporte has never been blamed for Write news...please. deal with the terrorists. who were interested in hearing the deaths of Québec workers. Today, Rose is the president of Rose’s views on the past were dis- “No one mentions the 300 work- And come to our news the Parti de Democracie Socialiste, appointed. After a brief explana- ers who died under Laporte’s ten- a sovereigntist offshoot of the fed- tion of his interpretation of the evo- ure as Labour minister. These meeting Friday @ 2pm in 282 eral New Democrats. He was in lution of Québec politics, Rose ex- workers died because of unsafe Edmonton for International week, plained the need for a leftist voice working conditions.” SUB. Stay for the double and left for Québec Sunday. in the sovereignity camp. In the end, Klassen was not en- According to Paul Klassen, vp “Are we going to havea popular thralled with Rose’s views on feature! Meet Edmonton internal of the Students’ Associa- nationalism or an imperial nation- present-day Québec. tion of the Faculté Saint Jean, the alism in Québec,” asked Rose. “We could have gottena student Journal reporter Shaun AUFSJ, Rose was asked to come so Of his opinions on the past, Rose from Québec at the Faculté who Ohler @3pm. many students could discuss the stated that the FLQ was little more could represent the situation in events of 1970 with him. than an umbrella organization of Québec better than he did.” OIL CHANGE FS B HifA Fo o Gz t LOOKING TO ENHANCE SPECIAL YOUR UNIVERSITY #100, 7618 - 103 STREET QUAKER STATE 5W30 QSX INCLUDES: BDMONTON, ALBERTA EXPERIENCE? TRL: (403) 439 - 9966 lube, oil, filter and 21 point FAX: (403) 439 - 7603 inspection; We'll check the front end, shocks, hoses, belts, lights, The Delta Chi Fraternity-one of North brakes, tires, exhaust and fluids America’s finest college fraternities, is looking for men who want: leadership opportunities improved interpersonal skills new challenges new friendships, and much, much more. “Complete Car Care Centres This is your chance to be a Founding Also specialize in tune ups, brakes, front-ends and shocks. Father of Alberta’s newest Fraternity. SOUTHSIDE OPEN LATE 4717-99 St. 437-4555 Mon.-Fri. 7-9 Sat. 7-6 Don’t miss it! 17108-107 Ave 484W-E4S7T0E0N D Mon.-Fri. 7-9 Sat. 7-5 ENTRAL 10550-116 St Mon.-Fri. 7-6 Sat. 7-5 For more information, please call The Tire Warehouse offers a complete range of tire and automotive services and products. Keith Fields at (403) 439-6060 Discounts available for U of A Staff and Students (with valid ID) DLs yiidents Union Page Ya wanna make some money? Has the CRO got a deal for you! All you have to do is come to the executive offices of the Students’ Union, and pick up an application to be a poll clerk. it pays $5.50/hr, and the fringe benefits are great. It looks good on a resume (be?ter than flippin’ burgers), you get to sit there and look important (who doesn’t love to do that?), and you get to do some “people-watching” (girl- or guy-watching would be lookism). Best of all, you get fan) to work with Adam, Richard, and Monique. They rock. So if you think you might have a couple of free hours in early March, come on by. Q . 7 4 It’s got to be better than a kick in the teeth. Contact Adam at 492-4236 if you have any other questions. Money, Money, Money The STUDENTS’ Union Discount Program, coming to a store near you... Did you know that there are 25,000 undergraduate members of the Students’ Union? Well, we think membership should have its priveliges. That’s why we‘te working on getting deals for you across this great city of ours. We need your input into where you shop, and where you would shop ifC hey gave you a break. Watch Chis page for more information... 006 (Million) So. It's Tuesday, or maybe even Wednesday, by the time you read this. The Students’ Union will have held 2, or maybe even 3 Budget Forums. Have you gone fo one yet? Well, ify ou haven't, there’s still time. We've still got three forums left. They'll be at: SUB stage Wednesday 72:00 The Law Building Thursday 72.00 sister Hall Friday 4:80 In.case you've forgotten, these forums are your chance to express your opinions/concerns/vwiheatwesv/er the heck you want to express about the Students’ Union, and how its erves you. “How can we serve you better?” is basically the question. We need you to help us find the answer. Ify ou have any questions about the forums, or can't make itt o any oft hem but still have something to say, don’t hesitate fo give me a shout. The phone number is4 92-4236. The name's Auwala, Gurmeet Ahluwalia, License to be VP Finance & Administration. GATEWAY Tuesday, January 31,1995 Page5 ng the Myths..... by Celina Connolly and Sam Sia Dear Editor, traps the size of collection. Incidentally, the Zool- Six weeks.ago I was overcome by a were set throu ogy wing has 11 floors, making it Fact: No one ned to have curious urge to explore the Biological (some of whi¢é the second tallest building on cam- knowledge of this, the source Sciences Building. It was unfortunate, - However, thi pus next to Tory. Going from the which led us to dearest, in that it is not necessarily ‘op. floor to the bottom... easy to get out of the Biological Sci- ences Building. Bob H. . cupants,” insists March 3, 1970 points out that th they occurred, were: And so starts another saga of the same can‘t-be gaid infamous Biological Sciences build- Myth: There ag ing. Or maybe this was the first, building. since the building peer was not officially opened until May 28, 1971. Hmm.... As you probably know, this is not the only bizarre story surrounding this building. We have taken it upon our- selvesto debunkeach and every story we have collected. So sit down, put your feet up, and be prepared for as many twists and turns in these tales as there are in the Bio Sci complex. Myth: The building was built by four con- struction companies and six architects who didn't agree. Fact: This is not All stairways lead to hej unusual. There was no one contractor large enough to take on the whole project. Also, there is usually a team of architects working on one building. We don’t know if they liked each other, but we do know that each department P Res: had separate input into the design eaten the cockroa ‘3 when you go, be careful that you of its particular wing. An interest- Maggie Haag, don’t get lost like rats in a maze. Or ing fact is that this building was ‘Biological Sciené Bob H. not built by the University, but by research and ff the Alberta government for the Uni- classes are als ie: Thereis a main anda versity. That might explain the next ing through cracks in wal cs wer Basementainsthe complex. myth.... ; ceilings. Speaking of fruits.... 10th floor. We are not too sure about what ° Official opening: May Fact: It’s true. They have an ex- people mean by uneven floors, but 28, 1971 Myth: The building was opened pre- Myth: There are no places to eat or tensive collection primarily from we have found what are known as maturely. hang out in Bio Sci. road kills and old collections from half-floors. Next to the Zoology ‘ @ Open for classes: Fact: “Everyone will agree to Fact: There is actually a student 1930s to 1940s when animal re- museum on the tenth floor, there Sept. 1969 that,” said Mr. Shedden, assistant lounge (with a cafeteria run by search was less controversial. To- are four of them: 10, 10a, 11 and ¢ 55,000 square public relations for campus devel- Versa) located on the fourth floor day, no animalis killed specifically 11a. Maybe this will explain the metres floor space opment in 1969. Apparently the Ofeecentre next myth.... (equivalent to 9.5 -need for space prompted the Uni- wing (to get football fields) versity to open phase of the build- there, follow Myth: On one °® Operating costs: ing prematurely (there are two the coffee of the elevators, the $2.9 mil, 1/6 of total phases in the complex). This re- mug). The door opens into a operating budget for sulted in a slew of unanticipated lounge has wall. buildings on campus experiences. In November 1969, an exquisite Fact: Al- internal pressure caused one of the view of the though this is e Largest classroom glass pipes used to carry acids to river valley, unlikely, itcould holds 153 students. burst, pouring water down the and is open have happened Plans for a larger main stairway. Also, doors to labs during nor- with a freight el- lecture theatre were on. the first floor closed automati- mal build- evator, accord- scrapped — cally, easily locking in unsuspect- ing hours. ing to Bulat: But e Houses the ing students. Clocks did not work Speaking of Pretzlaff ex- department of (some of which still don’t), and hard-to-find plains, “The Biological Sciences neither did the air conditioning. rooms... door will never (Genetics, Zoology, Dan Pretzlaff, superintendent of open to a point the Physical Plant, explains, “It’s Myth: where there is a Botany, Microbiology) like when you buy anew car. When Someone concrete wall.” and the department of you take it off the lot, there’s al- opened a Construction Psychology ways afew bugs you spot.” Speak- closet door in Mike LaRiviére workers’ did And behind door number one....your own private lab. ing of bugs.... a TA’s office have to knock Coming Thursday... and found a previously undiscovered for the collection. It is a research down walls on the first three floors Myth: There was an ant infestation classroom. museum which is not open to the of the Tory building to allow eleva- A sunless walk in the building about five years ago. Fact: Although many staff mem- public, but samples from the mu- tor access after the building first across campus— Fact: Yes. The department of Zo- bers claim no knowledge of sucha seum are used in undergraduate opened. This isn’t the only story of ology was studying the miniature room, we refused to take no for an labs. This collection is the second an electrical problem... exploring the myths pharaoh ants. Suddenly, the ants answer and persisted. After much largest in Canada behind the Uni- of the U of A began to reproduce faster than the searchinangd questioning, asource versity of Toronto, which has ac- Myth: Thereare electrical outlets in department would have liked. Ant pointed us in the right direction. cess to the Royal Ontario Museum showers, sinks without faucets and tunnels Garett P. have you waited until one year after it was passed to raise your con- cerns? Is it not far more construc- tive to involve yourself in the pro- I was disappointed to read Dr. Rock Silverman’s comments in the Gate- cess before the decision has been way (Jan. 24). Need I remind you made? Your disapproval of certain that General Faculties Council elements of the current policy (those Gripe wall shame. The question policy explicitly states that “stu- created and endorsed by your col- posed is “How does Engineering dent ratings of all instructors and leagues) is not justification for pro- week benefit our University?” Well, course sections shall take place each longing the entire initiative. Stu- in the first place, the name says it time a course is offered” and that dents are clearly not “willing to sus- all. It’s Engineering week, not Uni- “responses to the mandatory ques- pend the exercise,” nor are they versity week. It’s supposed to be for, tions shall be made available” in willing to appease the few faculty and to benefit, engineers. published form for students to use? members who couldn’t get their act Don’t get me wrong, though, This was passed by GFC in 1993 together in the first place. Engineering week has many ben- ; Garett Poston and was subsequently adopted by efits for our University. Engineer- the Board of Governors as official SU vp academic ing week shows the public that at University policy. Asshole least one group on campus still has I take offense to the claim that spirit. The only other group in this “the exerics iinvsaleid. ” Any initia- mostly apathetic little community tive which collects input from 24 LA Cragg’s commentary “The that comes close are the Aggies. 000 students and passes this on to Rats Protest” illustrates what is (Ack! Did I just compliment the other students in an organized man- wrong with the world today. His Aggies? Bar None is awesome!) ner is not only valid, but extremely attitude of Social Darwinism is not Engineering week also benefits the useful. I also take offense to your only insulting, but shows he is community through charity work. insinuation that student represen- greatly misinformed. I worked hard Over the week each club collects tatives do not display “method- in the real world for 15 years before donations for the food bank, do- ological sophistication.” I would I finally arrived here to work really nates blood, and may support the GATEWAY guess that progressive, construc- hard for my first year (hope it’s not charity of their choice with their tive negotiation is far more sophis- my last) of studies. My children stunt. Most importantly, Engineer- ticated than obstructionist and I are just getting by on my ing week gives the engineers a behaviour. student loans and grants. Adjust- healthy forum for friendly compe- Published Since November 21, 1910 Students need not be worried ments to my budget can only be tition. No one on campus can tell Readership 30,000 unfunny adjectives about threats of potential lawsuits made in the ‘food’ column. you when one faculty or another is Volume 84 Issue 32 if results are published. It is incom- Here’s a fact for Craggs to pon- having a “week.” Engineering week prehensible that we could be found der: While: working as a secretary is the weil known event on campus. Advertising 492-4241, Room 234 SUB “guilty” of following University for 15 years, I paid a higher rate of Who can miss the ice sculptures in Main Office 492-5168, Room 282 SUB policy. If Iw ere you, I'd be far more income taxthan the chartered banks. Quad, RATT covered in yellow plas- FAX Number 492-4643 Mailing Address Room 259 Students’ Union Building, concerned about the ramifications Don’t you dare say I haven’t paid tic (way to go first years!), and bands U of A, Edmonton, AB, T6G 2J7 of a small committee deliberately my fair share. Any hike in tuition touring campus fora week? No one Email Address [email protected] contravening GFC and Board fees will literally take food out of else can carry out a rockin’ week- policy. Let’s think about the law- my children’s mouths. Sure, Ic ould long party like the geers. By the Stern-in-Chief Juliet Williams 492-5168 suit that students could launch if quit school and go back to the pink success of Spirit of the West at the Managing Ascerbic Tami Friesen 492-5178 this policy is not adhered to—the collar ghetto. But I came here to Engg week wrap-up party I'd saya NewsSerious Terra Tailleur 492-1483 one we would certainly win. better myself and my prospects in few more students outside of our News Dour Gabriel Fantino 492-7308 Now that the policy has been order to better my children’s fu- faculty are clueing in that Engineer- Entertainment Melancholy Giles Pinto 492-7052 Entertainment Gloomy-Assistant Zachary O’Connor passed, the questionnaires used, ture. LA Craggs could learn a les- ing week is where the fun is at. Sports Cynical Pete Pachal 492-5068 and the data collected, the Univer- son from this and better himself. Shame on you SU. Photo Stoic Mike LaRiviére 492-1482 sity is again wavering in its com- Start thinking about other people Dallas Wilm Production Bleak Michelle Millar 492-3423 mitment to the publication of re- instead of just yourself, asshole. Engineering week coordinator Circulation Morose Scott Hayes 492-5168 sults. For the small number of you Mimi Williams Electrical Engineering opposed to the current policy, why Ist year Rat Advertising Dyspeptic Marilyn King 492-4241 ..and this issue’s thought du jour comes from Pam Hyntka: A guy at work told me there was a photo in the Journal of some Gateway chick-editor covered in sour-cream. All materials appearing in The Gateway are copyright and may not be used without the written permission of The Gateway. Contents of The Gateway are the responsibility of the Editor-in-Chief. All grievances should be submitted in writing to either the Editor-in-Chief, Room 282 SUB, or the Students’ Union Vice-President Internal, Room 259 SUB. All opinions signed by the writer do not necessarily reflect the views of The Gateway. GATEWAY Tuesday, January 31,1995 Page 7 Burning the Heritage Fund The Herjtage Fund was created than the rate of interest which we diverse rates of return. Some por- instead on RRSP income. Thus, to in 1976. Alberta had an abundance pay on the debt. However, the To- tions earn a return of 15 per cent or compare the Heritage Fund to an TAanwdae rson of revenue and nothing to spend it ries leave out two important facts. higher, while others garner a mere RRSP -is pure folly. The on and the government of the day First, interest rates continue to four percent. Similarly, some parts government’s desire to keep the Last week I received a brochure wisely began putting money aside rise, and with them, the rate of of the debt cost upwards of 14 per fund asitisnowis misplaced. There from the provincial government for a future “rainy day”—a day servicing the debt. Interest rates cent to service, while other por- are brighter avenues of action avail- relating to the Heritage Savings when oil and gas revenues were are already two to three per cent tions cost much less. It is mislead- able. Trust Fund. Inside, the province down, and the province was in higher than the figures used in the ing to present the diverse portfo- As I mentioned earlier, some asks two basic questions: a) should financial difficulty. brochure; thus, debt-servicing costs lios consisting of the debt and the parts of the Heritage Fund earn a we decide now what to do withthe That rainy day is here. Alberta are nearing, and will soon surpass, Heritage Fund as inseparable lower rate of return than others. fund and b) if so, should we keep it hasa debt load of $32 wholes; it is just as These portions should be sold, and or sell it? billion, and _ it’s deceivtioi nnsgis t the the revenues from them should be My initial optimism about hav- growing. Yet the bro- fund be dealt with as applied to portions of the debt ing real input into a government chure leads a whole—either en- which have high servicing costs. decision was soon crushed as I re- Albertans to believe tirely sold off, or kept The fund should be sold off until alized the brochure showed that it’s not raining hard in whole. all of its remaining parts are earn- the Tories had already decided enough to make use Other weaknesses ing a higher rate of return (each, what they would do with the Heri- of the fund. After en- of the brochure are not cumulatively) than the portion tage Fund. The package is full of during two (soon to the repeated refer- of the debt with the highest servic- misinformation—not lies, or decep- be three) years of se- ences to the Heritage ing cost. tion; rather, half-truths, and subtle, vere government Fund as “Alberta’s This solution was suggested ear- but strong, biases. Many sections cutbacks to vital so- RRSP.” I recognize lier this year by former University of the brochure are, as lawyers say, cial programs, to that the premier loves of Alberta Economics professor “leading the witness.” Questions suggest things “ain’t too bad” is the revenues earned by Heritage. to allegorize his government in Mike Percy, now a Liberal MLA. and data are presented ina fashion two-faced; the cutbacks were un- Fund investments. The govern- terms of the family, but the alle- He calculated that the province that makes it difficult for the wit- dertaken because the government ment ignores this fact, hoping gory has its limits. An RRSP is es- could save $54 million annually by ness, (the common Albertan), to claimed Alberta was on the brink Albertans will overlook it as well. tablished to provide its owner with adopting such a plan of action. I come toa conclusion other than the of financial bankruptcy. If bank- Second, the government decep- income after he or she retires. It sincerely hope the Tories’ pig- one the lawyer, (the government), ruptcy isn’t the rainy day to use the tively presents both the Heritage seems to me (please correct me if I headed refusal to ignore any sug- wants them to reach. The brochure fund, then there is no such day. Fund and the debt as whole identi- am wrong) that a province never gestions from the Liberals is over- encourages Albertans to support The brochure correctly points out ties. In reality, both are made up of retires. There is no mandatory re- come in this case, and that they Tory policy that the Heritage Fund that, on the whole, the Heritage various smaller constituent parts. tirement age at which a province is apply a common sense solution to should be kept as it is. Fund gains a higher rate of return The different parts of the fund have forced to quit working and rely the fund. Understandin Aboriginal tencritical hands of the mainstream One illustration of a political indigenous students in my class. I bravely, with a courage I have culture. Yet here I was, following agenda attempting to define this wasafraid to speak, for feared my neither witnessed nor experienced the ignorant footsteps of my for- kind of equality is Pierre Trudeau’s words would betray the ignorance before, and spoke of what life had CHaurnrtieer bearers; claiming my place in the 1969 proposal of The White Paper. I felt in the situation. I did not want been like for him on the reserve. literary works of brilliant indig- This proposal suggested that the to offend, but at the same time I This person neither sided with the I sat in the classroom conscious enous authors like Louise Erdrich. solution to Native disillusionment had no desire to cling tosome worn elders nor attempted to excuse any of the beacon-like quality of my My guilt and fear of condemna- and poverty lay in the integration ideal of political correctness. There detrimental mainstream interac- blond hair and blue eyes. It wasn’t tionb y my fellow students silenced of these minority groups into main- was one person in my class, who tions. That day we didn’t learn an overwhelming self-conscious- me and subsequently helped me stream Canada. Trudeau con- through his words, freed me from about the hypocrisy of white soci- ness that inspired these feelings of expand my intellectual and emo- tended that life on the reserves was my self-imposed silences. ety; instead, we learned to appreci- discomfort, but the realization that tional horizons. My gluttonous ini- some kind of a Canadian justifica- This student was presenting a ate that condemnation can be ex- I felt like a turn-coat spy. I had tial attempt to absorb the essence tion for ostracism. He maintained acted by both white and indigenous enrolled myself in a Native Litera- of their culture was pre-empted by that integration and more boldly, society. Iw as mesmerized by this ture course, vainly pursuing an my desire to understand the indi- assimilation, would heal the individual’s honesty and by the understanding of the cultural com- viduals as more than members of wounds dividing our peoples from equanimity that was extended to plexities which shape contentious the indigenous community—I one another. Indigenous groups all listeners. issues like land claim cases and the learned to communicate with them responded angrily to this proposal, Although a dialogue never fully Native quest for self-government. as people. and counteracted it with another developed between myself and the What I discovered instead, was There seems to be a prevailing form of proposed legislation, iden- indigenous students, as the semes- an angry and frustrated collection attitude in our melting pot society tified inslang as The Red Paper. This ter progressed awareness of my of indigenous students. They wore that everyone is the same. Indeed, document espoused the indig- discussion on one of the works in blond hair and blue eyes dimin- their pain like a wound clumsily many Canadians would argue that enous perspective on the values the class.‘He chose to highlight his ished from my consciousness. I in- dressed with a cheap bandage. It this samenessis rooted inthe North inherentin cultural distinction and personal experience and the perti- terpret this as a symbol of a future was a cultural bandage re-dressed American ideal of equality. Itis my opposed the mainstream stereo- nence of this experience to the lit- permitting a thoughtful explora- by conflicting political denomina- opinion that the kinds of thought type that held Native lives to be erary piece in question, rather than tion of concepts that surpass the tions; a dressing that should never processes that vigourously advo- symbolized by poverty. focusing on the conventional liter- cultural differences separating in- have been applied by the some- cate this brand of equality defy This idea of equality is what con- ary aspects of symbolism or meta- digenous students from those who times well-meaning, and more of- truth. founded my experiences with the phor. This’ individual stood are not. e Students get 5% Discount Excuses, either the SU directly or one of meetingisa relatively simple thing. their elected faculty representatives Last Tuesday’s meeting was dif- Every Thursday for not only the date and place of ferent only in that it was held at a excuses! the next meeting, but for a copy of more public location than most of the agenda as well. our meetings (usually held in coun- Yes, the open council meeting cil chambers in University Hall). I at Athlone Liquor Store.. I am writing in response to the could have been’advertised more encourage all U of A undergrads to criticisms of the January 24, 1995 prominently, but as with all things, attend and speak out at the next Students’ Council meeting made this would have entailed spending council meeting at 7pm next Tues- . by Gabe Fantino in his article “Stu- more money. If people feel the day February 7 in council cham- (.DR equired) dents absent at council” and Lisa meeting was inadequately publi- bers. re The largest liquor store in town Morin in her letter to the editor cized I will accept my share of re- Michael Curry published on the 26th. sponsibility. If you do feel this way Speaker, Students’ Council Full line of liquors, cold beerr,s e rew ines : The time and location of Stu- however, please contact me as to Bottle return. open till 11 pm ( ri.-Sat. till midnight). dents’ Council meetings are no se- how better to publicize open meet- Thursday: more letters, babies! cret. All council meetings are pub- ings in the future. You DO read this newspaper! You 12904- 12 7 Street, Edmonton, Telephone: 451-5423 licized in advance in the Gateway Every Students’ Council meet- and on the SU notice boards. Fur- ing is open to all students at the U like us! You really, really like us! (3b locks North oft he Yellowhead). Lots ofp arking wey thermore, any student can contact of A. Attending, or speaking to any (Famous last words...) Page8 Tuesday, January 31,1995 GATEWAY Transit Mass others sit in gaggles, whispering if someone told me it would getm e forever. I wonder how long ago it want. They’ll raise kids—smart loudly about who’s sleeping with out of this rut, I’d french kiss a was written. I wonder if they’re ones, happy ones. They’li drive whom. My sense of solitude re- rattlesnake. And then, if Iw ere still still together. I hope so—I let that them around. SShcaortptl itunrn s in force; the relationships alive, I’d probably steal a car, too. thought comfort me. Even though And maybe, just maybe, one of these teenagers chatter about are I look down instead —focus on I may be stuck on this bus forever, Mike and Dana’s kids will become I’m on the bus again. It’s late shallow and in- Mike and Dana are a powerful agent of the municipal Saturday night and I’ve just been consequential, out there, some- government, and will pass legisla- accosted by a burly, intoxicated but at least they where—and yes, ' tion that will revolutionize public mannamed Brian. He has decided, are relationships, maybe, just maybe, transport and make buses happier, through logic all his own, that lam and they carry they're shopping for healthier, and less depressing all a “fag,” and therefore deserve to some purpose for a used. car! Not around. have my personal space invaded, some length of : much—but a start. And the other kid will work out and threats made to my welfare. time. My trip home is endless and the dirty, corrugated metal on the Then, a down payment on a bun- every day until he’s big enough to He’s moved on now, to another without meaning. back of the seat ahead of me. “Re- galow, and maybe then, Mike’ll come down here and beat the shit victim; on the bus, no one is safe Iscan the ads again. “If someone pent,” it says (of course). And, be- pop the question and Dana will get ‘out of Brian. from Brian. told you it was cool to kiss a side thatin awkward scrawl, “ Mike a bun in the oven. With Mike’s car, I smile. My stop approaches. [hate this bus. Riding this bus is doberman, would you do it?” Pal, ‘N Dana 4—>.” Mike and Dana they’Il be able to get wherever they Ding! testament to the fact that I have no money. I live so squalid an exist- ence that I cannot even afford to move myself from place to place. There are some people who take the bus by choice, often for envi- The Control Lobby ronmental reasons, but not me. I don’t care. I want a car. I want the stability and security that a car pro- vides. Brian can’t get into my car and harass me. And besides, until I own a car, I can’t conceive of are panicking; their influence to the press was the very specific abor- of your body—tright off the shelf owning a home or having a family. morally control or intimidate tion clinics this killer chose. One of with nothing but a check-up after- Buses are for the solitary. JCahsoouni nwaomredn based on their archaic reli- the clinics was a testing site for the wards. It becomes something en- Seeking some source of escape, I gious doctrines has faded with the new reproductive technology tirely personal—from decision to scan the transitads above me. They The biggest tragedy about the advent of science and rationalism. knownas “the abortion pill.” Now, implementation. Total self-control. are dirty and outdated—why, recent abortion clinic slayings in Intelligent women are armed with if moral control of women is your Frightening possibility isn’t it? there’s an ad for a theatrical pro- Boston is the media circus after- facts and can fight the supernatu- The desperation of the control duction that ended overa yearago! wards which totally missed the ral, guilt-based moral fallacy of the lobby is causing them to become And then there are all these ap- boat. In this day and age of suppos- anti-abortionists. These women are increasingly militant and radical. peals from assorted charities—half edly advanced feminist thought, it alot less likely to solve a real prob- Anti-abortionists are fighting a los- a dozen poster children on one bus! saddened me that most pro-rights lem with an arbitrarily supplied ing battle in a world of increas- If [had any money, folks, Iw ould feminists passed up a glorious op- metaphysical answer. With moral ingly intelligent and more self- give it to you, but hey—my pre- portunity to expose the lurid un- control either slipping or nonexist- aware women. The threat of new dicament speaks for itself. derbelly of the anti-choice lobby ent, the control lobby is stooping to technologies is combated by There are also’a lot of ads for or, asI’m going to refer to them, the fear tactics. shootings and bombings under- candy bars and YTV, which make “control lobby.” Yes, itis only the fringe element taken by asmall minority and con- more sense, considering demo- Abortion comes down to one of the control lobby who use fear doned by silence from the large ultimate end point, the abortion graphics. There are a lot of hor- thing—control. A woman’s right tactics like bombings and killings, pill represents the ultimate evil to majority. This silence must be chal- monally imbalanced youths onthe to have total control over her body, but nonetheless, the entire anti- you—itisa sign of developing dan- lenged by a vocal and intelligent bus, but I don’t think any of them (by total control I mean without abortion movement profits from it gerously amoral technology. What feminist outcry against the hypoc- are looking high enough to see the any interference, moral or physi- and don’t realistically pay more if the abortion pill evolves into one risy and fear being propagated by ads at all; some are buried in cal). In the abortion trenches right than lip-service to discouraging it. pill and then an intra-uterine sup- the control lobby. It’s not pro- walkman-enhanced worlds, and now the troops for the control lobby Seldom noted as newsworthy in pository? Simple, effective control choice, it’s pro-self. Ee UNION ELECTIONS Call for Nominations Due at 5pm, 17 February 1995 WHO CAN RUN IN THE GENERAL ELECTION? Any student is eligible to contest a position in the Students' Union elections provided they: -have paid their Students' Union fees -have no outstanding debts to the Students’ Union -are in satisfactory standing at the University of Alberta. LA VY Chick-fil-A’ has the taste to satisfy “Sy WHAT POSITIONS ARE AVAILABLE? :h ungryb ack-to-school appetites of all sizes.7i Five full-time executive positions are available, and an additional student seat on NLY 63 0082 the Board of Governors. The positions are as follows: President Vice-President External CHICK-FIL-A CHICKEN Vice-President Finance & Administration ., SANDWICH OR CHICK-FIL-A |g Vice-President Academic CHARGRILLED CHICKEN 5 : SANDWICH Ze Vice-President Internal IY our choice of either Chickfil -A's original boneless breast of chicken Undergraduate Board of Governors Representative. sandwich or our chargrilled boneless breast of chicken sandwich -O NLY!" 3.00 with this coupon. One coupon per person per Visit. <:" Coupon not foodwi th any other offer. Complete descriptions of these positions are availabe in the nomination package, re it Saturday and Sunday, IRESF EB. 199 and at the executive offices in the Students' Union Building. to tskg TASTED.pY oOte LOVE IT For ae ‘* GATEWAY Tuesday, January 31,1995 Page9 NUTHIN’ hops based beverages, 4) Play video games, get rolled tobacco, televi- whacked and pretend you’re sion, or some other more in a video game or, if you’re ZOa’cCho nnor damaging play things. really cool like me, play Don’t forget, enjoyment board gamesand do puzzles. is fleetbuita nbrgai n cell 5) Get on your computer Hey, what’s up? is gone forever. and surf the Internet, speed Nuthin’. Often, this dish is tricky to on the info highway, or try What do you guys wanna make and never really gets to get into the computer sys- do tonight? past the planning/conjec- tem ofa really fun game, like I dunno. ture phase. This can usually the national power grid Sounds familiar, huh? be attributed to one of a few (oops, lights outin Moncton, Well, it should. limiting factors. These being hee-hee). If you and some friends general apathy and couch 6) Read, I do, it’s fun! Re- decide you enjoy one potato-ness (most common), ally, books won’thurt youin another’s company to the lack of a paid social co- most cases, and knowledge extent that you spend free ordinator, or lack of funding is powder, right? time together, you’ve expe- from the government or pa- Once you are surrounded rienced the #1 ritual of our rental units. Oh, yeah, there’s by your friends (cattle) and times. The gee-what-should- also gathering room vortex everybody agrees what they we-do-in-the-age-of-enter- syndrome, which is when want to do, there is still one tainment, how-can-we-pre- everyone keeps saying “I all important factor. Money. occupy-ourselves, what-the- don’t know what I wanna Think about how much of hell-am-I-gonna-wear, let’s- do,” or “whatever, I don’t your income goes towards go-have-happy-fun derby. care” over and over witha “entertainment.” For most of Here’s our generation’s glassy lookintheireye anda us it’s a lot, for many, it’s too recipe for fun on the run: dab of slobber on their lips. much. Factor in eating as a 1) twotoeight people who (This is both common and form of leisure activity and love each other (or can’t find scary.) you're talking big bucks. anyone else to go out with) Your choices as to how you Now imagine this: you are 2) one cup of: alternative, can spend your free time are out of work, which is actu- Hip-Hop, country, retro/ many, dear reader. Here’s a ally a damn expensive thing throwback, clean-cut, mod run down that will be pain- to be because of all the spare squad, or para-intellectual fully familiar: time you’ve got on your dress and attitudes. 1) You can eat, sleep, go to hands. Or, you are enrolled 3) one pound of: mixed a bar, drink at home, drink in school, university for ex- nuts or intoxicants or caf- alone (alcoholic). ample, in which case the last feine. 2) Go to a movie, rent a thing you need is further dis- 4) a minimum of one ve- movie, eat a movie, sleep or tractions from your studies. hicle with enough butt space neck in a movie theatre, or So let’s all stay home one for all, or bicycles or legs or make your own movie (ex- night a week, and try to do whatever. ~ hibitionist). ourhomework once or twice. 5) a venue. 3) Go to a concert;.or a too. Mike T. LaRiviére 6) an entertainment sys- club, listen or dance to mu- Please? Can we just not go tem (brain killer) of some sic, walkintoacluband work out, guys? Mid-terms are sort. Give in to the advertis- on your interpretive dance coming... PNW ing campaign of your choice routine, play in traffic or Okay. and pick from one of: Sega, mosh (the two being equiva- See you at Rebar. INS Nintendo, VHS, barley and lent). Can I borrow 5 bucks? Your SU Exec Vlarmin ffAsSAM on the services move Countless meetings between rep- one of the most widely used resentatives of the Students’ Union services on campus, receiv- and the University have resulted ing over 55,000 visits per year. in a preliminary plan to consoli- Many students do not find date all student services in the Stu- out about this service until dents’ Union Building. It calls fora well into their stay at the relocation of the Gateway (which is University of Alberta. By bringing a service of the Students’ Union) it into SUB, and taking it away Rest assured the Students’ Union and CJSR (which receives SU fund- from the terrible location it is in will be very careful to ensure that ing but is not an SU service) from now (tucked away behind the the financial decisions made re- the second floor to the lower level _ garding the University services Natasha White stated in her Janu iiiove to SUB will be fiscally re- ary 12th letter that the biggest ques ponsible. Not only will the Uni- tion here is fiscal::responsibility. ersity services that are occupying While that is:an important issue, be providing rent to the feel that a much more‘significan , additional ably more in B éarrvonly benefit .6fSUB, fie Students’ Union financially. a building thatis the living room of - hese people will walkby the cloth- “WEDNESDAY campus, the one sto. :inginSUBtitles, smell the delicious pasta dishes at L’Express, and pos- 1 ADRIENNE CLARKSON PRESENTS non-academic li isibly evenbe tempted to goto RATT SSS Die el san THE NANNY three years, the St or a few minutes. RFE LIBERTY STREET has aspired to brin In any case, the Students’ Union as Health Services, N; ive Student — has not, and will not, forget its role EX@ay bream on Services, and Services for Students ing Health Services, is something as the provider of services to stu- EXEQ emery nest with Disabilities into the Students’ the Students’ Union has worked dents at the U of A. Every decision Union Building. Health Services is towards over the last few years. we make is based on this premise. COLLISIONS IN THE DANCE OF LIFE International Week play documents the tragedy of racism ‘Master Harold’...and the Boys HUB Community Centre until February 1 (8pm) review by Giles Alexander Pinto “It’s not fair is it, son? What isn’t, Dad? A Paki’s ass.” Sounds silly, doesn’t it? But when this little racist joke appears at the climax of the play ‘Master Harold’...and the Boys, it triggers an emotional eruption that creates a rift, drawn along colour lines, between even the closest friends. Playwright Athol Fugard based the work on life in his homeland of South Africa during the height of apartheid —the drama has been updated to any place “where segregation is common and equality ~amyth.” (It could be Canada.) More specifi- cally, the setting’s a café on a stormy day, where two East Indian waiters (Krisna and Wazim) receive a visit from the white son of their boss (Hally), a childhood friend now attending university. The production opens hypnotically, the cool bass and guitar of, respectively, Rick Rooyakkers and Simon Harrison leading a small jazz combo off-stage. Bali Panesar (Wazim) enters, pulls out two tablas, Indian folk drums, and accompanies the groove— beautifully melding Eastern and Western Zachary O'Connor styles. The scene hints at the play’s theme as LITTLE DRUMMER BOY: Education student Bali Panesar demonstrates his talents on the tabla. seenby director Shomee Chakrabartty: “Un- less we can find harmony within ourselves, This conflict reveals the racial undercur- elder brother expounding on what it means duction. harmony ona global scale will seem impos- rents on which their relationship precari- to be a man. Of course, Panesar inevitably gets eclipsed sible.” ously bobs, while opening the way for some As director, Chakrabartty lightens the by his talented co-stars. Fringe veteran Trevor His character, Krisna, embodies this vi- hokey, heavy-handed dialogue. The last charged atmosphere, injecting humour into Devall, working on a BA in drama, delivers sion as a servant who moves through life loops on an emotional rollercoaster ride scenes where the cultures clash. One, in a gripping performanceas Hally. He evinces with grace and wisdom. It’s not surprising which lasts two solid hours, these final scenes particular, stands out by showcasing the all the insecurity of one torn between his when he, named after one of the gods in tax even the most enthralled patron’s pa- charismatic power of this U of A Drama grad friendship with those “below” him and his Hinduism’s holy trinity, instructs his friends tience. It doesn’t help that the playwright (who has worked everywhere from the Cita- role as Master Harold—just as he wavers on how to dance not only through a ball- reaches this point through detours into such del to the National Film Board); backed by between idealism and the “Principle of Per- room but also through life. (“Make it look heavy topics as, “What is Art?” Of course, the steaming music section, Krisna and petual Disappointment.” Harold’s the one like you’re not trying,” he tells Wazim.) some of these intellectual sidetrips seem Wazim hilariously re-enact one of the whofinally screams atthe starry-eyed Krisna, With Hally’s help, Krisna nearly transforms necessary to demonstrate (for instance) the hyperkinetic, over-the-top dance scenes “There ain’t no music, and nobody knows the beauty of the rumba into a manifesto on strange, reciprocal relationship of Hally and which pepper Indian movie musicals. (Think the steps!” “a world without collision—sa”n ideal shat- Krisna; the former takes on the classic colo- of Ginger Rogers on acid.) It’s even better It’s a sobering message and, like much of tered when the two clash on very real issues, nial role of the white master educating the since it gives showtime to the band and this play, it smacks of painful, hard-earned like the alcoholism of Hally’s father. native, while the latter behaves like a worldly Wazim, both underused elements in the pro- truth. Saturday Night (Truly) Live Out of Hand Theatre’s alternative to a TV-filled weekend The 11:02 Show humourous mix of Canadian snow-shovel- pacy. The hits just kept on coming. Chinook Theatre ling and silent movies) to the last scene of the Not to say there weren’t stinkers. The January 28 evening (the culmination of a running gag running gag on Naomi Wolf’s Beauty Myth involving an aimless, witless redneck). The was lame. The bit with pop-sensation Lacona review by Diego Ibarra scenes themselves were hits or misses—you was so stupid that I kept wishing the entire Last Saturday, I developed a powerful either peed your pants or wound up staring ceiling would cave in on me, breaking my urge for comedy. I tried to make myself at your program. spine without killing me so that I would laugh. Then I stared at the wallpaper. Then That is to say, what worked, worked. Wit- suffer less pain. However, even with these I thought about Saturday Night Live. AsI did ness the lament of the ex-Eagle Hardware drawbacks, the show wasstill funny overall. the latter, there was a painful sensation in employee: “What other job in the world lets So why should you be a slave to your my bum. That meant only one thing: the11:02 you know you've been fired through the tube—especially if it mistreats you the way Show. Ss media? Okay, besides teachers and nurses...” it does? Do yourselfa f avour, check out 11:02 11:02 is the only Saturday comedy event Or the evil Chameleon, unidentifiable in his when it returns at the end of next month, that can truly claim the title “live.” It was a disguises despite his ubiquitous big, foam ‘cause it’s your best Saturday comedy bet. raw, original venture into the roots of com- cowboy hat. Or Orange-Man, the daring My bum’s better. MONDO MOVIE GIVEAWAY edy right from the beginning of the show (a Scot who wages a one-man war on the Pa- (The next show’s on February 25.) FOR ALL YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE LAST SEDUCTION & IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS FOR FREE, SEE GILES IN 282SUB @ 3PM ON WED.