THE UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA “There is no greater compli- ment fora student to offer his teacher than to exceed him.” -—Ancient Chinese Proverb Thursday, January 7, 1993 Weaknesses revealed Law faculty reacts to improve by Jeff Aplin Deansat the University of Alberta “This was an accurate are taking steps toimprove the qual- report that tells us both the ity of education received by stu- good and the bad.” dents. The reaction stems in part -—vp Academic, John from a survey of U of A graduates McDonald which was released last November. The survey was intended to However Christian said not only evaluate students’ perspectives on the method of exams but also the their educational experience. way exams are evaluated by mark- John McDonald, the University’s ers is under review. vice-president academic, said the Christian said a committee survey addressed some fundamen- headed by former U of A vp aca- tal issues about teaching and edu- demic Peter Meekison will exam- cation. McDonald has taken the ine some of the weaknesses identi- survey to the Deans Council. He fied in the graduand survey. said because each Dean knows the “The committee will look into specifics of each programme, most the graduand survey and recom- improvements to the qualioft eydu - mend steps that the Faculty (of Law) cation will come from within each should take to improve in some faculty. areas.” McDonald said the report should Danya Handelsman, SU vp aca- become an annual publication, and demic, said she found the results of praised the openness of the first thesurvey disappointinagn d hopes edition. the University evaluates every class- “This was an accurate report that room every year. tells us both the good and the bad, “It’s important to ask the stu- an open report we can share with dents what they think.” the community.” Handelsman referred to one sta- Relative to other faculties, Law tistic from the survey that showed was rated particularly low by only4 9 percent of graduates agreed graduands. Only 17 percent of Law that their instructors took pride in graduands agreed that evaluation their teaching. (exams and marking) was fair. “To me that’s unacceptable.” Tim Christian, Dean of Law, said Handelsman said she hopes he was disturbed by the data from methods to improve teaching are the survey, but said a review of the pursued not only for graduates but grading formula in his faculty was for students from every year. She already under way. also said that when surveys com- “We were aware of some con- pare faculties it can be difficult to cerns.” = interpret the results, given the di- marae G a Law has a large proportion of versity of academic programmes. courses in which 100 per cent of the “We need to be careful to look at HEY! Look at all of those gigs-on-a-pole. Good thing it’s warm enough for us to mark is based on the final exam. the big picture.” go see them. Even wane for the bus seems like fun at -10 after 4879. oe Assaul centre Ontario cuts into pool suppor 2rows Alberta affected by eastern need for funding by Jeff Aplin before the idea becomes a reality. A campus sexual assault centre is The University will begin a new by Juliet Williams grant programme, but grants are grant eliminations last month, add- gaining support from the Council fiscal year in April, and any fund- Alberta’s post-secondary stu- only available to students who dem- ing that tuition at most Ontario on Student Life. ing from the administration will dents may have a harder time get- onstrate a serious need, and may be universities will increase by seven COSL passed unanimous support have to be included in the new bud- ting student loans now that the based onspecial group status. Loans percent, about six per cent less than for the recommendation for the cen- get. Funding for a sexual assault Ontario government has eliminated arenormally more accessible, avail- at U of A. tre in December. Support from Stu- centre from this year’s budget will a large share of its unconditional able for both education costs and As well, the Ontario government dents’ Council was also unanimous. not be possible. grant programme, and frozen all cost of living needs, and are repay- is considering an income contin- Peter Miller, Dean of Student Ser- Miller said there are a number of funding to universities. able upon graduation. gency pilot project of non-subsi- vices, sits on the COSL. He said he possibilities that are-being consid- Grants, which are non-repayable, “The cuts mean that students’ dized loans, which proposes inter- supports the idea of establishing a ered. are normally administered by the indebtedness will increase over the est be charged from the day the ceritre by September 1993 for two The recommendation has gone provinces, while studentloans come next year,” Lore added. loan is taken out, rather than from main reasons. as far as it can as an idea. Now the from federal funding. That means The federal loan programme is when the student graduates. Under “7 think it will give a point of next step will be taking measures to next year, more Ontario students expected to hand out about $850 this programme, the repayment reference for people who wish to ensure that the recommendations will be in the market for the limited million in student loans this year, a time would also be based upon the raise personal concerns on matters are carried through. resources in the federal loan pool, fixed amount which more Ontario income graduates receive upon en- of sexual assault. There will be one Danya Handelsman, SU vp aca- which is shrinking quickly. university students will likely be try to the workforce. If the visible easily accessible place to go. demic, said she is optimistic about Becky Lore, an advisor with the wanting a share of next year. programme is successful, a similar That’s a great benefit.” the centre being established by Sep- U of A’s Student Financial Aid and Provincial treasurer Floyd project could be considered by the Funding forthe centre is the main Information Centre, says that Laughren announced the Ontario Alberta government. hurdle that will need to be cleared Please see Assault page 3. Alberta still has a fairly substantial Student Assistance Programme Angry Letters bea Suite Music Jt See page 4. The Bears and Dinos set Brother Blanchard blasts to go home and home. And see page 5 for the bombastic bugle. — ee page ae Anarchist Video Barn. Page2 Thursday, January 7,1993 GATEWAY On Campus DCAD BEAI Pidy jamuar hat was then this BACKBONE * ELE, saturday january LOVED ONE Pp ap 5) a “= TST Fe = <P> | The oldest building on campus: Built in 1910, St. Stephen’s has gone through many SEVENTH FLOOR, STUDENTS' UNION BUILDING / changes since its inception. However education has remained the focus. U oF A CAMPUS by David Ridley theology in a different key than Warnes indicates that St. Room and board —$32 per some of its Methodist and Presby- Stephen’s has the challenge of over- [Vi DMA SERVICES INC. 9/92/01/07 month. Live in a Tudor-style red terian predecessors. coming the general attitude that brick building with turrets— near- Programme director Randi theological studies involves “pro- est thing to a castle on campus. Warnes says St. Stephen’s nowsees viding answers.” Maid service and Sunday tea at itself as “the leaven in the lump” “Classes at St. Stephen’s ask professors’ homes. Liberal arts for U of A students, and that the questions about issues of deep as pecia courses available in same build- current role of the College is to meaning and importance. The stu- 486DX-33-MHz 64Kb cache ing. Students must be prepared to provide “the opportunity for a lib- dents and faculty share a passion give a synopsis of previous day’s eral arts education not necessarily for education and dialogue in the =4 MB RAM & 210 MB HARD DRIVE =2 FLOPPY DRIVES (1.2 MB 1.44 MB) = 1 MB SVGA CARD & .28 MM SVGA INTERLACED MONITOR lecture to principal. Great situa- found “ in the University at large. best sense of the liberal protestant = 19" MID-TOWER CASE & 200W CSA POWER SUPPLY tion for the theologically inclined. “At St. Stephen’s we see the Uni- tradition.” 82S/1P/1G PORTS & 101 KEYBOARD MS-DOS 5.0/WINDOWS 3.1 & MOUSE/PAD That was St. Stephen’s College versity as a place of learning, where St. Stephen’s is also a place of =sSTARTER KIT in the 1930s. Builtin 1910as Alberta people come to learn to think. Be- feminist scholarship on campus. It College South, it was the first build- cause we have small (usually less provided some of the first courses 386DX-40-MHz 64Kb cache ing on what is now the University than 15 students) seminar-style at the U of A in feminist theology =4 MB RAM & 170MB HARD DRIVE «#1 FLOPPY only of Alberta campus. In fact, George classes available for credit to stu- and spirituality. DRIVE (1.2 OR 1.44) 5 1 MB SVGA CARD & .28 MM $ | 3 SVGA INTERLACED MONITOR #19" MID-TOWER McDougall’s old homestead on dents in U of A programmes, we Warnes notes that the legacy of CASE & 200W CSA POWER SUPPLY =2S/1P/1G PORTS & 101 KEYBOARD =MS-DOS 5.0 which the building stands was part can provide a learning environ- “patriarchal religion” creates sus- of the city of Strathcona. Principal ment inaccessible in classes of 200 picion about women's role in the (/_CYRIX 486SX-33 MHz INTEL 486SX-25 MHz Aubrey Tuttle wrote in the 1920s people.” church. that "morning lectures might be Course offerings at the College “However, we're encouraging $1688 * $1688 accompanied by the sound of cattle this term include “Topics in Reli- people to ask the ‘improper ques- in the fields, while an evening of gion and Literature” and a course tions’ about these relationships.” Above Computer Systems include: study in the spring could be set to on the work of Joseph Campbell You can’t live at St. Stephen’s 8128 KB CACHE MEMORY «1.44 MB FLOPPY DRIVE =2S/1P/1G PORTS »®W INDOWS 3.1 (OEM) «4 MB RAM INSTALLED 2170 MB HARD DRIVE 314" NON-INTERLACED #101 ENHANCED KEYBOARD tunes from nearby frog ponds." and how myth affects theology and anymore but you can still stop for 8 1MB SVGA CARD =1M VGA CARD COLOR SVGA MONITOR »MOUSE & PAD =1.2 MB FLOPPY DRIVE =sMID-TOWER CASE W/200W CSA PS sMS-DOS 5.0 (OEM) That was then. This is now spiritual life. a cup of tea. To 210MB To 128 KB Additional To o256K8 Interlaced Upgrade Package For Hard Drive Cache Floppy Cache Monitor Old St. Stephen’s College now Above Systems: $ 13 0 $24 $60 $45 $80, houses Alberta Culture’s Historic Lines from hell, Division. A new St. Stephen’s, a Upgrade your286 system to 486DX-33 386DX-40 486SX-25 United Church College, is just a 386/486 with 4MBRAM: $838 ¢488 $568 few feetabuwt laighyt ,yea rs away in purpose and role. Sorry, no 15351 STONY PLAIN ROAD prices too more inexpensive lodging or Sun- TEL: 483-0300 FAX: 483-0305 day afternoon teas. OPEN MON-SAT 10:00 AM - 6:00 PM The smaller stature of St. Stephen’s on campus reflects the shift in culture that has taken place by Juliet Williams student’s needs are. in churches. And it thinks about U of A students grappled with Darcy Shoiry, a bookstore em- longline ups and overpriced books ployee who was working security READING WEEK Ist here a this week, as the rush was on to get Wednesday, said there have been Secret the new textbooks for this line ups all week, but not too many 21-28 February/ 93 semester's classes. people complain to him about it. “Ym totally disgusted with the “They usually come in, have a whole thing,” said Marilyn look at the line, turn around and to doing wel Rasmussen on her way out. “I was leave,” he said. [Sar? wondering if the U of A could do Kevin Chow was found patiently something about it-maybe put in waiting Wednesday afternoon with PACKAGE INCLUDES: more cashiers.” a stack of books, but said it has - Return Airfare from Edmonton - Mazatian Jim Malone, the bookstore’s gen- been getting better as the week goes - Inflight Meais and beverages - Return airport transfers in Mazatian eral manager, said they have ex- on, though he wished the book- - Hotel accommodation, hotel tax and service charge for 7 ni tended the hours in previous years store was open later. at the Riviera Mazatian Hotel - thry: star beachfront hotel. The hotel is built around two swimming poois, ‘acuzzi and beach bar. Walking. Absolutely. The LSAT is in an attempt to alleviate the rush. “I wish they would extend the distance to the Golden shopping zone. proven to be a highly “But nobody appeared. I’mnotsure hours. I came here last night hop- eae: ! $70 US bar beverage credit per yom at the Riviera Mazatlan ote, coachable test. Find out why.” ing they’d be open, but they closed - Representative on location Some students suggested there at five.” - 7 Days or SUN & FUN why at our free LSAT should be extra tills and cashiers Many students have been wait- seminar at the Si. Joseph's available when new courses begin, ing several days before venturing College, room 10] on as the stampede is predictable. But in to buy books. Moststudents wait $ 719 per person based on Quad occupancy Malone says it’s not quite that at least until they have attended January 7 at 5:00p.m. simple. the new classes. $ 769 per person based on Double occupancy We'll explain how we Tax not included “We don’t have that much extra “T wanted to buy these books prepare you for the LSAT space or equipment. It’s really an since Monday, but I waited until Student Union Building, UofA 492 - 2592 better than anyone. For economic consideration.” the queues went down. I was wor- m4 Jasper Avenue 488 - 8487 info call 1-800-667-6628 Malone says that the bookstore ried all the books would be gone, © 2 TRAVEL CUTS KAPLAN will be undertaking a“Total Qual- though, said one student. ity Exercise” in the near future to “They prebably should have ' evaluate the services from a client longer opening hours at leaastt th e The answer fo the test question. perspective, and find out what the beginning of the term.” Canadian Universities Travel Service Limited THE TRAVEL COMPANY OF THE CANADIAN FEDERATION OF STUDENTS GATEWAY Thursday, January 7,1993 Page 3 Aboriginal quotas under review by Peter S. Moore places for aboriginals within the nal students to enter a field that The Faculty of Rehabilitation quota. previously seemed an unlikely Medicine and Division of Medical However Stinson is optimistic choice. Laboratory Science may have five that the proposal willbe approved. “It’s definitely a great way to reserved spaces for aboriginal stu- If passed, Medical Laboratory attract students,” she said. dents, if the Board of Governors Science will reserve one position Before the installment of the Fac- approves the proposals Friday. for aboriginal students and four ulty of Medicine reservations for The proposals were recom- positionsi n Occupational Therapy aboriginal students in 1988, the mended to the Board of Governors and Physical Therapy will also be Faculty of Medicine had never by the Academic Affairs and Hu- available. The reserved spots will knowingly graduated an aborigi- man Resources Committee at the apparently be part of the actual nal physician. This April John BoG meeting December 4 but due quota but will be filled only if the Brisebois will be the first aborigi- to confusion of quota numbers the aboriginal applicants maintain the nal to graduate from the U of A proposal was deferred to the Janu- entrance requirements of about 80 Faculty of Medicine. ary 8 meeting. per cent. Hodes said that the quotas will “It was simply a discrepancy “We're already playing Russian attract new interest in previously Rodney Gitzel The Pizza Co. is the latest venture of the Student’s between numbers,” said Karen roulette by accepmotrei stnudgent s unthought of programmes. Union. Capuccino and pizza, umm umm good! Moodie, the secretary of the Aca- than we have places in the “Something like Laboratory Sci- Digestion demic Affairs Committee and is programme,” said Bob Stinson. ence may not even be thought of as also executive assistant to vp aca- Stinson said they relied onahigh a career.” demic John Macdonald. attrition rate between the first and She added that the quotas will “(The quotas) will be dealt with second years to reduce the number also increase competitiveness be- at the upcoming meeting,” she of students to quota level. tween aboriginal students for those SU pans pizza The pizza ovens were left over added. Anne-Marie Hodes, coordinator reserved spots as a result of driv- from the RATT renovations last Bob Stinson, the director of the of Native Health Careers, said the ing grades up. The Students’ Union is adding summer. Medical Laboratory Science proposed quotas were a positive “Only about half come in on the another jewel in the crown of its Programme, said he thought the move because it will raise career special status,” she said. food and beverage empire. We’ve come to suck BoG was just reluctant to reserve awareness and encourage aborigi- The Pizza Company opens to- your blood Degrees greening up day in SUB, courtesy of the SU, to offer students pizza, Italian sand- The Canadian Red Cross Society wiches and coffees. wants your blood, and they’re com- The SU is opening up The Pizza ing to campus to get it. Company in SUB, but it is only a A Blood Donor clinic will be set temporary measure to prevent a up next week at the University of Six new environmental programmes approved loss of revenue from rent after the Alberta in CAB. The Red Cross previous tenant, Charlie’s, did not hopes to replenish blood stock of by Karen Unland the past.” renew its lease this month. all types, but O-negative is par- “It’s really just emphasizing Jody Thesenvitz was planning The environmentally-focussed Sean Andrew, SU vice-president, ticularly low. to be a food science major next the environmental focus courses will be taught be existing said because of the extensive reno- Barb Smith from the Red Cross year, but a new programme has that has been a part of the staff members, thereby saving the vations which are schedule for SUB said the Christmas campaign was given her future plans a whole new programmes...for many University from having to find new over the summer, their was only a generally a success even though colour: green. years.” money for the new Faculty. few months that were available for the goal of 5500 units of whole Thesenvitz is taking advantage —Dean Betty Crown Betty Crown, dean of Home Eco- leasing and therefore it would have blood was not attained. However of the environmentally-focussed nomics, said the degrees bring a difficult to fill the vacancy with an Smith said she hopes students live degree programmes that will be common philosophy of ecology outside tenant. Therefore, instead up to the donation levels they have introduced next fall in the new Fac- Conservation Sciences. and resource management to the of leaving the space empty, the SU in the past. ulty of Agriculture and Forestry/ Thesenvitz said the new traditional departments. For ex- took it upon themselves to fill the “We usually get quite a good Home Economics. programme offers more flexibility ample, the nutrition and food sci- space with the restaurant to cover response from students at the on “My plan was to go into food and allows her to take courses from ence degree now includes “the the lost revenue. campus clinics. We really need and nutrition anyway right after I a wide range of disciplines she importance of understanding the “Given that there’s no tenant, people to give blood.” started this year. Then someone wouldn’t otherwise have taken. global interdependence.” we just want to cover rent. If we The permanent Blood Centre is mentioned they had a new “For the nutrition and food sci- “It’s really just emphasizing the make more money, great,” said located beside the U of A hospital programme,” she said. ences I definitely think so because environmental focus that has been Andrew. at 8249-114 street. The new programme, BSc Nu- it does incorporate the botany and a part of the programmes of both trition and Food Sciences, is one of forestry classes.” faculties for many years. We’re just six degrees offered next Septem- The interdisciplinary approach making it more explicit and obvi- ber in an effort to add environmen- is key to the new Faculty, said John ous.” tal awareness to the tradition A gri- Kennelly of Agriculture /Forestry. Crown said students currently culture/ Forestry and Home Eco- Kennelly, who wasinvolved in cre- enroledin Ag/Foror Home Echave nomics disciplines. The others are ating the new programmes, said the option of completing their de- BSc’s in Agricultural/Food Busi- the intent is to overcome compart- grees or transferring to the new ness Management, Forestry, Agri- mentalization and “deliver a programmes. She said however culture, Human Ecology, and the programme in a much more uni- that she encourages first-year stu- Attention all writers: There is nothing worse than brand-new Environmental and fied manner than has been done in dents to try the new degrees. missed opportunities. Come to the Gateway news meetings Thursdays, 4:30, room 606 SUB. EDMONTON * RED DEER *« CALGARY JAN. JAN. IMAGINE... 14, 15, 16 T, 8, 9 THE Perrect Summer! ja YOUR OWN BOSS “Joint Chiefs” “Cheatin ‘n’ -AND- Hurtin” EARN 342-1871 CALL US COMPLE Te . r- THE PERFECT SUMMER! COLLEGE NROERTSHT APOUW ER PLANT Directly behind ...We'll Show You How! BERVICES BAR Dentistry/Pharmacy APPLY TODAY AT: -OR- #3 - 10327 - 61 AVE CAMPUS PLACEMENT OFFICE EDMONTON, AB OPINION Managing Editor: Malcolm Azania, 492-5178 The CAB same y Z AA LeEZ : Lar A new year lies before us full of promise... and promises. Why Those grand resolutions you made in December to do things phy 1,M A differently this term have already been broken, and you’re feeling a little down. I have just the game to cheer you up. It’s called “Act Your Age.” First you need a playing area, someplace where you can sit down with some friends and drink coffee and talk or maybe eat your lunch. There are several student lounges around SHUFFLES campus perfect for this. Each playing area must have at least one trash receptacle; recycling bins are optional. These are used as goals. HE'S ALREADY The object of the game is to deposit your trash in the appropriate receptacle before leaving the playing area. The paved FISH, amount scored for each successful sortie is up to you and your friends, but should depend on the availability of receptacles at PLAYED WAR, each playing area. For example, let’s say you choose to play on the main floor AND LEFT US ALL of CAB. There are 25 garbage cans in this playing area, so it is obviously the domain of beginners only. Logically, only a PLAYING CRAZY slovenly bunch of complete losers could fail to be successful, so we set the score at -1 point for each article of trash left EIGHTS. behind at the player’s seat, rather than rewarding players for nothing. There are also nine recycling bins on main floor CAB, BuT GIVEN seven for cans & bottles, and two for paper. We therefore set ove ECONOMY the scoring at +1 for cans and +2 for paper with a -5 penalty for using the wrong bin or contaminating the bin with food AND CONSTITUTIONAL waste. Incidently, CAB is a good place for beginners not only CraTus, WHEN for the nice playing area, but for the sad lack of competition. Determine your own scoring system for your favorite play- HE LEAVES, WILL ing area and keep a running score with your friends. Those players with the higher scores will be rewarded with the WE BE PLAYING knowledge that they are not snivelling little snot-nosed chil- 52. PICK-UP? dren anymore. Those with low or negative scores should maybe grow the hell up. Peace. —Martin Tucker GATEWAY Cartoon wrong; always keep aneye open for attacks First and foremost, the tape has at school or on a bus? What if he not been banned. If Raven or any- Palestinians lived in a country where he had to one else in Broken Dolls had either teach his children how to put on gas the reading abilities to check out Published Since November 21, 1910 should put masks because they are bombed the January issue of See magazine Readership 30,000 with missiles by a country at war or the balls to call CJSR and talk to Volume 82 Number 26 down guns with someone else? And what if he myself (Craig Elliott) or Christine lived in a country where half the Chomiak, they would know this. I Advertising 492-4241, Room 234 SUB On Jan. 5, Mr. Ahmed Hussein people he wanted to make peace believe I was quoted as saying Main Office 492-5168, Room 282 SUB published a cartoon in the Gateway, with supported an organization that something like, “It hasn’t been in which he predicted how Israeli had his destruction as its primary banned; it’s just that no one is play- FAX Number 492-4643 soldiers would hold little baby Jesus goal? ing it. It’s not very good.” Mailing Address Room 259 Students' Union and his mother at gunpoint. Since I am an Israeli. We are not mon- If, instead of doing either of these Building, U of A, Edmonton, AB, T6G 2J7 principles suchas objectiveness and sters, as Mr. Hussein would have things, Broken Dolls prefer to pre- honest journalism are no longer a us. Nor are we conquerors, imperi- tend that they are such big, bad, Editor-in-Chief Karen Unland 492-5168 prerequisite to publishing, I was alists, oppressors, or religious fa- rebellious motherfuckers that we Managing Editor Malcolm Azania 492-5178 not surprised. Nevertheless, I felt a natics. Neither are we perfect, and at CJSR can’t deal with them, it is News Editor Jeff Aplin 492-1483 rebuttal was in order. we are the first to admit it. What we not our problem. If Broken Dolls News Assistants Peter S. Moore Mr. Hussein asked “What are is a nation that wants to live in prefer to direct their already se- Juliet Williams 492-7308 if... Jesus was bornin 1992?” Iwould peace in its tiny country. Really we verely limited creative energies to- like to suggest to his consideration are. And if the Palestinians would ward dreaming up stories of how Entertainment Editor Steven Yi 492-7052 a few different “what if...” ques- put down their guns, knives and CJSR are fascist meanies who won't Sports Editor Dan Carle 492-5068 tions, pertaining to the problems I stones long enough to talk with us, give them an even break instead of Photo Editor Rodney Gitzel 492-1482 often face: if they would live and let live, if toward making their music vaguely Production Editor Pam Hnytka 492-3423 What if Mr. Hussein lived in a they would convince us with their interesting, it is also not our prob- Circulation Manager Martin Tucker 492-5168 country that was forced to spend actions that they want the peace they lem. To tell you the truth, Raven, I Advertising Manager Marilyn King 492-4241 half of its budget not on education, say they do—then Ib elieve that one personally do not give enough of a or on health care, or on improving morning, very soon, they would fuck about you, your band, or your Contributors its own economy, as it would like, wake up under their own flag, band’s music to take the trouble to but rather on its army, so that it can hoisted over their own country, side try and ban you. Rob Daly, Heather Johnson, Matt Fedoruk, Cam Ashmore, defend itself from almost all its by side with us. As for “choosing to censor and Travis Lamb, Lisa Kartusch, David Malmo-Levine, Debbie neighbours? What if he lived in a Does that sound kosher enough refuse airplay to many local Sbeling, David Ridley, David Johnston, Paula E. Kirman, country so plagued by terrorism for you, Mr. Hussein? groups,” give Minstrels on Speed, Ahmed Hussein, Mark Meer, Rob K.I. Chow, Alejandra sponsored by these neighbours that Adi Lachman Deadbeat Backbone, the Loved Varela-Romero, Isabel C. Varela, Samson Chui he couldn’t feel completely secure One, the Wheat Chiefs, the and at ease walking down the streets CJSR breaks Imagineers, Unsound, Blindside, of his own cities? What if he lived in Bighead, Sub Worm Feeders, The All materials appearing in The Gateway are copyright and may not be used without the country where the television com- raving Dolls Smalls, Nowhere Blossoms, or Na- written permission of The Gateway. Contents of The Gateway are the responsibility of the mercials his children watched did ked and the Dead (to name but a Editor-in-Chief. All grievances should be submitted in writing to either the Editor-in- not talk about toys or candy bars, I would love to comment on few) a call and ask if they have any Chief, Room 282 SUB, or the Students’ Union Vice-President Internal, Room 259 SUB. All opinions signed by the writer do not necessarily reflect the views of The Gateway. but of how to avoid unknown ob- CJSR’s apparent bias with regard to jects lest they be bombs; and how to our “banning” of the Broken Dolls. See LETTERS p. 5 GATEWAY Thursday, January 7,1993 Page5d Anarchist video barn Nicholson in the story of a free Christian Slater as anarchistic ra- minal City Ricochet—Degrassi mentary on the making of Apoca- spirit trapped in a mental institu- dio pirate. Three tokes. Monty High meets Orwell. I was disap- lypse Now! Intense. Four tokes. tion. Kind of reminds me of school. Python's Life ofB rian —I couldn't pointed with Jello, I'd thought he’d Jacob’s Ladder—A lookat coming : sTWBRIDee DMaavlimdo - Read the book by Ken Kesey. Five agree with you more, Melon-Lenin. go more hardcore. Pop and chips. to terms with death and fighting tokes. The Last Detail —Jack Four tokes. Animal Farm - Animated Orwell! the system at the same time. A Nicholson again, except this time Nineteen Eighty-Four—Read the Would have been perfect if not for truly terrifying film. Four tokes. Howdy, and welcome to Anar- he’s in the military institution. book, then watch the movie (then the fact that they changed the end- When the Wind Blows—Ani- chist Video Barn. With apologies Three tokes. Dog Day Afternoon read the book again). Two tokes. ing. Reading the book is a must. mated. Roger Waters (of Pink to Jason, the guy who does the real —A\|Pacinoasa modern day Robin Brave New World —Again, better Three tokes. Streetfight—Ralph Floyd) soundtrack. If I could rec- Video Barn (in the late Dead Tree Hood. Funny and depressing all at book than movie. Two tokes. THX Bakshi before he sold out. Ani- ommend one movie to my broth- mag), my rating system will not be once. Four tokes. 1138 —Lucas before he got soft. mated look at black power in a ers and sisters who have never in cans of beer, but in “tokes” (the Do the Right white society. tried weed, this would be a fine more tokes, the better the flick). I Thing —Spike Strap yourself in first time. Five big bong hits. believe that drugs are a tool, and Lee at his best. A and smoke the When I first compiled this list that in order to be used properly beautiful movie whole jay. last September, I hadn’t really they should always be involved in all around. I first Miller’s Cross- found any true anarchist movies. exploring one’s self and one’s sur- saw this one on ing—The Coen It was just a list of flicks I’ve en- rounding world. Most people don’t ‘sid (careful with TI] brothers look at joyed because of their various po- go for reading the dry prose of the that stuff). One the Irish Gangsters litical slants. Strange things have armchair anarchists, and real travel dose. Lenny— of Chicago. Two happened since. is only a once ina while thing, so I Dustin Hoffman tokes. Manufacturing Consent hasjust guess movies are western society’s as Lenny Bruce. Goodfellas— been released by the National Film answer to exploration. If weed ain’t A fantastic film The definitive Ital- Board. Finally, a Chomsky flick! I your thing (far be it from me to about what true ian gangster haven’tseenitsol won’trateit,bu t push my realities onto someone obscenity is. movie. Two tokes. I’m sure it’s worth a Cheech & else), then simply substitute the Four tokes. JFK—Oliver Stone Chong sized spliff. I finally got word “tokes” for “stars” or Henry and Se ; goes after the big- around toseeing Easy Rider. Peter “thumbs up” or “orgasms” or June —Sexual Pee techn. gest gangsters of Fonda, Dennis Hopper, and Jack whatever turns your crank. freedom. Read ale Lb all, the American Nicholson’s comments on coop- A Clockwork Orange —Kubrick Anais Nin’s GovernmentFo.u r eration, understanding and the does a good job. Read the book books (quality tokes and one hard farthest-out, bitchin’est hogs! It’s anyway. Three tokes. Harold and one-handed reading). See it with Two tokes. They Live—John Car- look at reality. Malcolm X—“No the real thing! Joy! Joy! (Which Maude—A laugh! Cat Stevens pro- someone you love. Don’t forget, penter directs a fantastic film about man should have that much reminds me, stay tuned for the vides catchy tunes. Four tokes. plenty of liquids for dry “mouth.” the capitalist alien takeover of earth. power,” says the pig. Drugs un- second season of Ren & Stimpy - Titticut Folies —Banned until just Three tokes each. Beats the hell out of Star Trek. Four necessary, it’s a trip unto itself. themes include the army, the recently, this documentary abouta Drugstore Cowboy —Matt tokes. Apocalypse Now!—Mr. Coppola’s pound, etc.). Easy Rider, like no mental institution asks the ques- Dillon in the role of drug addict. Brazil —Monty Python meets attempt at defining Vietnam. Some- other movie, shows us what we tion “who are the real crazies?” Cameo by William S. Burroughs! Orwell, Terry Gilliam directs. Three one should have introduced him to could be and why wearen’t. Watch Too heavy for drugs. One Flew Four tokes (stay away from the tokes. Sleeper—Woody Allen Chomsky. Three tokes. Hearts of it, smoke a big spliff, find a brick Over the Cuckoo’s Nest—Jack “horse”). Pump Up the Volume — meets Orwell. One good hoot. Ter- Darkness —Ms. Coppola’s docu- and meet me in the street. CONTINUED from p.4 cause |re fuse to waste any more of Letters policy ber or faculty). Without the matter how neatly). And very my time on your little non-issue. above information, we cannot important: KEEP YOUR LET- trouble getting airplay here. They Craig Elliott print your letter. As well, due to TERS SHORT: fewer than 200 don’t. Wanna know why? Because, Music Director, CJSR-FM The Gateway is happy to the volume of letters that we now words is best. Please address unlike Broken Dolls, they are tal- receive letters, but we need receive, letters thatare typed (and your letter: “To the Letters ented and our DJs find them wor- the following from you in or- spelled correctly) will be vastly Editor.” Thank you and good Cartoonist thy of airplay. der to print these missives, so more likely to see publication night. With regard to the tape’s cover, I strikes back please include your name, than those hand-written (no (and I think the better number of phone number, faculty and the women I know) feel that a pho- student ID number. Also, if tograph of four pairs of hands grop- Re: Geer’s feelings hurt by car- you are not a student, please ABOMINABLE ADULT $65.00 ing a woman’s virtually naked toon (Tuesday, January 5, the Gate- indicate that on the back of SKI EXPRESS BUS YOUTH $58.00 hindquarters is sexist. What makes way). It is unfortunate that valu- your letter (which will mean, CHILD $48.00 your “sexy, not sexist” defence able space was consumed by Paul of course, that you are not To Marmot, Jasper 6 & under $15.00 particularly ridiculous, in my opin- Skoczylas’ criticism of my cartoon. required to include ID num- LEAVES EVERY WEEKEND G.S.T included ion, is that Spinal Tap said it first, It is obvious that Mr. Skoczylas isa but they were joking. If you want to moaner (read: whiner). Thirty- starting Jan. 16 from West Edmonton Mall North R.V. lot CALL THE make it a matter of personal taste, three hours of lectures and labs? I DOORPERSON Package Includes: RESERVATION fine. Like I also said in See: “ A lot of ponder—could this bea plaintively HOT LINE the DJs find the cover offensive.” bleating (read: whining) first year? Transportation on luxury coach, | full day of WANTED 440-3450 That seems pretty straightforward Paul must be, because none of his skiing with lifts, refreshments, snacks, journal tome, butinterpretit however you senior brethren are so insane that videos, prizes, gift certificates, tour guide and want, they would want to torture them- DINWOODIE LOUNGE much, much more. Finally, in addition to finding selves with that type of schedule STUDENTS' UNION the cover particularly offensive, I (seven classes, four labs). Amazing The Consulate-General of Japan also feel that for Broken Dolls to math, eh? Fact of the matter is, it PAY $7.50 per hour and the Friends of University Hospitals present: make this entire censorship story isn’t going to get any easier. Do up without any concern for its you want that iron ring on your erelated experience THE DOLLS OF JAPAN truthfulness is irresponsible, ob- pinky? Then shut up and tough it an asset Shapes of Prayer, Embodiments of Love noxious, and worthy of as much out like the rest of us. eability to deal with contempt as I can muster (which is Relax, enjoy Engineering Week, January 10 - March 3, 1993 public more than you could possibly com- and swill a few beers. You're McMullen Gallery, Walter Mackenzie Health Sciences prehend with your little, bitty wrapped up too tight, man. And imagination). It ruly hope this spells by the way, no apologies. please send your Centre, 8440-112 Street, Edmonton it out clearly enough for you be- Jason George letter to Gerry Stoll - Gallery Hours: (Subject to change - call 492-8428) Entertainment 10:00 - 4:00 pm (Mon - Fri) 1:00 - 4:00 pm (Sat - Sun) Manager Special Events (Open to the public - no charge) #256 - SUB, UofA Jan.15, 11:30 - 12:30 pm - Flower Arranging demo Feb. 8, 7:00 - 8:00 pm - Origami Workshop 3 Feb. 23, 11:30 - 1:00 pm - Tea Ceremony Page 6 Thursday, January 7,1993 GATEWAY My mother really doesn’t know me at all bad... but anyway—I'm still at my one’s in jail... WHAT CONFU- to Westlock from Slave Lake for X- drank some eggnog and FALALA parents GUT = HERE IN SION! A FORWARDING AD- mas—actually, for two days and LA LA’d me. Then he called me DEbeeblbiinWegE STLOCK WHERE TWO DRESS? HEAVEN, HELL, FORT THREE NIGHTS. Actually we, me “baby” instead of friend, and talked PEOPLE WERE MURDERED ON SASKATCHEWAN?! and him, made a deal in Novem- about marriage. Oh yeah... that CHRISTMAS EVE! Help! Yeah, I My brother just walked into his ber: Although we’ve been together makes sense. Oh what a Festive Season! It’s know what you’re thinking; it’s bedroom. That’s where I am right for a year, fora WHILE we are not So now when people ask what December 27th and this Chiquita almost as bad as a bunch of baby now, in his bedroom, listening to - going to be TOGETHER. me and J are, I simply reply, Banana is exhausted. Boom!, first seals being clubbed by a bunch of Phil Collins. He just informed me “Okay, so let’s label this J, “ I “FUCKED,” leave it at that. exams, and then Zap!, RELATIVES, drunk business executives. Butit’s that he’d rather be wearing Fruit of said... (I like labels). But I love J, and he loves me. Ido all in one month. But now it’s a true, it happened, andeventhough the Loom in comparison to “Not TOGETHER together,” he have another FRIEND right here in new year, (in three days), and I you probably don’t care because it Stanfield’s if he ever got a wedgee, said. Edmonton, but him and | are only honestly love all of my relatives, didinjite APEC = YOU? you because Stanfield’s wouldn’t rip “Of course not TOGETHER to- friends FOREVER AND EVER, honestly. Not an incestous love, SHOULD care, because it affected easily, and even though that means gether,” I said, “You're in Slave because I said so. On top of that, he just a normal, honest love... al- someone—like the paperboy! Just quality, it causes Lake and I’m in goes to NAIT, so he really is a though my cousin Trevor isn’t too think, one customer’s dead, and a most righteous Edmonton.” lower life form. J doesn’t go to pain. But I think “Well I need University, in fact J is going no- that’s all right. some space, tem- where, but he will someday, and Pain for menisa porarily,” he said. I'd rather be with a person with Then when he fine thing. In fact “Well, there’s a realistic ideas of the future (J), than came to Westlock as soon as they lot of PERMA- a half-whit wanna be (D). (the town where can recreate life NENT space be- I say if you’re not accepted into you can get shot at so men can feel tween here and University, go to Africa and feed the top of any the pain of child- Slave Lake... YOU someone... but if you weren’t ac- don't you love it birth, I'LL IN- snowbank), he ARE SUCH A...” cepted to University you probably VEST! I believe drank some egg conflictconflictconflict... couldn’t find Africa on a map, and when you get cash for the answer lies nog and FALALA and then we com- then you’d probably end up at somewhere be- LA LA’dme. promised... home watching the Flintstones any- christmas... tween a tractor We would still way. My ex-roomate got really being pulled beintimate (yum), upset at me for knocking NAIT, through their still call each other because she plans on quitting Uni- asshole, and forc- (phone bills up to versity and going to NAIT next ing them to watch their new car here), still spend Christmas to- year. Thisis why I think they should being keyed... I would like to say gether (drink eggnog and Fa la la la re-name NAIT something appli- that all men are superficial, but la), while we still remained cable. I won’t suggest anything, that would be making a generali- monogomous and didn’t see other because I’d probably be rude, but I zation, and that’s not fair... so I'll people. He agreed to this, while I believe they should keep the IN- just say all men are scum and leave agreed toname this NEW? arrange- STITUTE part. it at that. ment (i.e. all of the above), not as ADVICE FOR LIFE: Bananas are My ferocious cats put a hole in “relationship,” but a friendship. very important, and not just for my brother’s waterbed, which is Cool. celibate females either. quite ironic, since it was the first Then he left, andI didn’t see him Well, now that Christmas is over, time his bed had actually gotten for four weeks, until Xmas. Up we can put the images of fat flying WET, and sadly enough the two until that point I kept up with my weirdos shouting “hohoho” be- pussiesinvolved had four legs each, end of the bargain; I phoned him hind us, and look forward to the and did it for all the wrong rea- and said, “Hello my FRIEND.” idea ofa s ix foot rabbit hiding eggs... sons. Then when he came to Westlock No, that won’t scare the kids ei- And speaking of hairy legged (the town where you can get shot ther. creatures, my boyfriend came out on the top of any snowbank), he Learn how to BARF™ UNIVERSITY & COLLEGE | | | STUDENTS | by Lori Swick and Rob Remmer | | Ever notice how great life looks through a beer commercial? Lots of friends, babes and studs, sun and | Preparing to work sport and of course lots of great beer. But you'll notice that beer commercials always get cut off by | | television shows (like Beverly Hills 90210 or The Simpsons) before we get to see the studly looking guy pass | | with children out and choke on his own vomit. Real glamorous! | Not only is it less than attractive, but it is irresponsible and preventable. If your friend has imbibed past | | the happy point and passes out or if you are helping him or her to bed: Be A Responsible Friend (BARF) | and roll him on his side. Then place one hand under his cheek to keep his head tilted and his airway open | | The Study Buddy Program to prevent him from choking should he be unfortunate enough to lose his lunch. This recovery position | | is also called the Bacchus Manoeuvre and could help save a life. Bacchus Canada is an alcohol awareness is looking for students in Education and | and abuse prevention program promoting responsible decisions about the use or non-use of alcohol on | | campuses. So if you and your friends go out and drink too much, don’t forget to BARF. | other Faculties willing to volunteer one Another Pharmacology HEALTH CLIP ’n’ SAVE! hour weekly working on academics and self-esteem with one or more children aged 5-15 ina school setting. Benefits include: * experience working with children * improved interpersonal communication skills ¢ enhanced personal resume Information and recruitment dates are: Jane iit 13 JH E NATIONS iting Sc Mon & Wed Jan 11, 13 9:00 am - 2:00 pm Tues Jan 12 9:30 am - 2:00 pm Call or write: National Theatre School of Canada 5; ea liees| Main floor Education Building Call ESA office at: 492-3650 TEL.: (514) 842-7954 DEADLINE FOR APPLICATION: FEBRUARY 15 FAX : (514) 842-5661 ENTERTAINMENT Entertainment Editor: Steven Yi, 492-7052 Music for the Prophet Yardbird swings to sweet rhythms to soothe and shake the soul Terence Blanchard love the cold, I might add; I invited them Yardbird Suite back to E-Town for the summer... so if you Saturday and Sunday wanna see them I suggest you call the December 12 and 13, 1992 Yardbird to get them back for Jazz City). Blanchard is a large man, around six feet, story and review by Malcolm Azania and of imposing stature and voice. But his hristmas is a season of tremen- charm and friendliness are unmistakable. dous energies, strongly felt emo- He was amused to learn of my name, since tions, upsurges, magic, and trag- he has one piece of work named after my edies. It’s a time that has become- first name and another named after my last. associated with a man known to some as He explained to me that for some reason, Prophet, to others as Savior. I’m not sure if some people assumed that he was a jazz Spike Lee had any of these ideas in mind hard-liner, a pure traditionalist in the vein of when he was jockeying for a release date Wynton Marsalis, and were surprised to see position for his latest movie, but the connec- him working on film scores. I asked him tion between redeemer of old and the re- what he thought of hip hop, especially since deemer of new seemed very clear to me, and the current jazz renaissance amongst young all the more so, for as Christmas has its people is owed so much to hip hop artists music, some of it holy, most of it unforget- such as Gang Starr (and not to punks like table, the motion picture Malcolm X has its Hair Tonic Jr.) and if he’d ever consider music, all of it holy and wholly unforget- working with rappers, as had luminaries table. such as Branford Marsalis. Terence Blanchard and his crew, five of Blanchard mentioned that he already had them in all, blessed humble E-town with a worked with a number of popular artists, very special Yuletide gift a few short weeks include Oran “Juice”. Jones. I just about ago: he gave us the world premiere of The choked when he mentioned thatin Brooklyn Malcolm X Jazz Suite. he lives just down the street from Keith E.E. Now, Blanchard isn’t the first to compose (the Guru) and DJ. Premiere of Gang Starr music for the Prophet... indeed, artists as (one of my favorite crews). diverse as Zensi Miriam Makeba, Dennis Bruce Barth was also really decent, and Brown and The Beatnigs all have works ~ interestingly enough, with his accent I’d Malcolm Azania entitled “Malcolm X.” And there’s even an have made him out to be an Edmontonian. Blanchard was too hot to photograph, but cool enough to listen to. opera, whose soundtrack was recently re- He had a warm, inquisitive smile, and an leased on Grammaphone, entitled X. But to voice, speaking with dignity, clarity, pride, and I felt that he was really right on time on honesty that radiated from his in such simple my knowledge, there is no jazz work of any loneliness, strength... an instantly convinc- the Sunday night show. His play was much gestures as offering me some of his peanuts length inspired by the man. And there is ing metaphor for the voice and humanity of more down, real, relaxed, and his from-the- when he was on a break, or the glee in his certainly no musical body of such depth and Malcolm X. gut sax work that night simultaneously eyes when he had a chance to watch breadth, such magnificence, as The Malcolm Tha music is dope, G! cooled and heated the immediate crowd and Blanchard mess around on the piano during X Suite. Blanchard’s crew was throwing down went across the nation, courtesy of Radio music hard both nights, both nights cuz I Canada. CBC made the right move showing saw ‘em both myself, and the show wasn’t up for the second show cuz that’s when Davis rocked and rolled, his. Blanchard tilted his trumpet to one of those didn’t-get-my-money’s-worth Newsome was really at this best. head all the way forward on its his lips, his cheeks dealies. A three-hour show packed with But of all the crew, Troy Davis stands out neck — even his eyebrows and beauty, agility, and savvy. And Blancahrd, as the most engaging. I sat directly in front of billowed and he erected a lower lip jutted forward — in although he’d have every right to be an him, and whenever he hit a solo (and half the pillar of sound. egotist, being magnificent on the horn and time when he was just keeping time) I pure musical output. having created the scores fortwo films (Jungle couldn’t take my eyes off his performance. Fever and Malcolm X), was no primadonna. The Brother was nova and he played with So on with it: I sat expectantly in the After creating his house of sound, he knew his entire body. I meanhis entire body. Every a rehearsal (and Blanchard was damn good packed Yardbird Suite, blue and orange where to let his able craftsmen add their art bass drum hit, every high-hat wrinkle-and- on the piano, too.) lights smoldering, conversations rising and to the structure. shimmer, every — insert more drum terminol- But I spent a good chunk of time talking falling like instruments being readied be- Bruce Barth’s piano work came in under- ogy he—r yeou' d see every limb, every bone, with Troy Davis and Taras Mateen. They’re fore asymphony. Every seat at the Yardbird stated waves, with each solo being met with every muscle shake and vibrate. Davis rocked both excellent musicdriummaern ansd ,bas s- isa good seat, and I couldn’t have been more and rolled, his head all the way forward on man, and we shared a lot of laughter. I that five metres from the stage. So when the its neck — even his eyebrows and lower lip explained to them both that more than a Bruce Barth’s piano work host introduced the quintet, I was ready jutted forward in a pure musical output. couple of Whitecustomers had approached (Terminator X, yes, he’s ready... ). came in understated waves, Ican’t think ofa time when I enjoyed alive me tothank me for my performance, presum- Blanchard and his crew walked out, with each solo being met with musical experience more. It’s not just that ably mistaking me because of my skin and smoother than shadows, slid into position, grateful applause. the Yardbird wasa great location, which it is my fez, and one evenasked me ifI could tell grasped their trade tools. The panting of a (it’s E-town premiere jazz joint and the ideal him who played the sax on “Smoke Gets in mouse would have been a beating ofadrum place to enjoy music live). But in addition, Your Eyes.” Davis’ laughter boiled and in the expectant silence. There they were: grateful applause. Being the pianist on the the stage is close enoughso that the audience bubbled over into wheezes. Troy Davis on drums, Sam Newsome on small stage, Barth was the only one turned can hear the instruments before they go Mateen was a remarkable man. Very sax, Bruce Barth on piano, and Terence away from the audience, and each time we through the sound system, every seat has a diginified and educated, he enthralled me Blanchard with his trumpet held at the ready clapped ourappreciation, Barth turned with great sightline and the audience and staff are with his lessons about his deeply held Is- like a sextant, his determined expression a mesmerizing grin that said, “Thank you, a relaxed; non-pretentious bunch. This was lamic beliefs. He was also a fine singer, and taut, as if fixed on whatever point in the and I’m loving it too.” Midway through the no black turtleneck and cappuchino affair, around 3 am after the Saturday show sang at Afrisphere he was going to take us to. show, he had the opportunity for a true solo, with unreadable, unreachable music. This my request the Islamic adhan or “call to And then, from out of the darkness, came completely unaccompanied, and it’s there was real music with real stones for real people. prayer.” I suggested to Mateen that with his music, the breath of the cosmos. that Barth shone in a musical voice of pure It was clear that many people there weren't blessed voice, he should approach Blanchard Taras Mateen’s fingers plucked his bass sincerity as compelling as his smile. necessarily jazz enthusiasts, but had been with the idea of making his singing a part of strings, and coal sounds, chocolate sounds, Taras Mateen was an anchor on bass, prompted by the movie to come see the show. But Mateen replied in his digni- smoke sounds rang out. The notes of lung- matching erg for erg with any and all of the Blanchard. Noone was disappointed oralien- fied humility that he would wait until the bass, heart-bass, hung smoldering in the air, others. Parenthetically, being a bass-man is ated at the Yardbird. Local music enthusiast time was correct. Still, I can’t help but feel the audience as still as animals caught in a tough job: you play through pretty much Brad Leddig was so stunned by the show he that a fillm whosetslamic content (and in- headlights. Suddenly, Blanchard tilted his the entire show, you keep time and don’t get was overheard saying, “I can't believe how deed, whose adhan sequence) isa crucial as it trumpet to his lips, his cheeks billowed and many — if any — solos. Also, you’re always good this was.” is, would have its jazz suite tremendously he erected a pillar of sound. And I’m there. at the back. But no one could miss Mateen: But location aside, Blanchard and his crew enriched bya subtly-arranged musical back- And the music is alive, real, and the high impressive in his Middle Eastern clothing, were not only fine musicians, but decent, ing for a performance of the adhan, hat shimmers into existence, joined by a trill radiatiating spirituality straight out of the down-to-earth human beings. I had the Let me put it bluntly: if Blanchard and his and fall on the piano, now the sax doubling Ka’ba, and with hands that could pluck a chance to spend some time with these fel- crew ever come back to town, especially at the pillar, and the sounds combining, and note out of the air, his opening set the tone lows between sets and between and after the ‘Bird, don’t waste any time: get tickets. the temple of the music is forming, yes, by perfectly. shows, and there was no pretense about They roll in force... with music that’s magic. the Will of God, there it is! And that trumpet Sam Newsome electrified the Yardbird them. They loved music. (They didn’t much | , Page8 Thursday, January 7,1993 GATEWAY Get into Woody Woody Allen Deadbeat Backbone Hang Dogs, Rhythm Slave, RATT Messenger, Task Force Friday, January 8 and Naked Aggression Lorelei Beaumaris Community Centre preview by Terry Williams Saturday, January 23 So kids, finals and that big happy thing called X-mas are over. All you've got todo Rock and hop all night with this mini- is exchange the shit you didn’t want, take metal and rap festival. You can’t get any- advantage of the month-long Boxing Day more local than these guys. You can’t get a Blitzes and maybe do a little more relax- purer, most unadulterated sound. Tickets ing. So go to the Room At The Top. Local are only five smackers and are available at faves Deadbeat Backbone are going to be Southside Sound, Sonics or Sound Con- there, and although they’re not a clever nection. If they sell out at these locations, Toronto band, chances are you'll groove phone 476-3557. to their ultra-tight rhythm section, mature vocals and not a few guitars. Although Kronos Quartet there is a distinct lack of a horn section, it Wednesday, January 13 is real rock and roll and you'll appreciate Myer Horowitz Theatre it. Insiders who caught this band at the Moshfest or even the last time they played Four people. Classical instruments. Lots Ratt will know that these guys kick ass, of amps. Tickets available at all sound great. Shallow people demanding TicketMaster Outlets and Campus credentials can rest assured; the band just InfoBooths. If you can’t get itup, charge by released its second video for Much Music phone at 451-8000. as well as a shiny new 13-track CD. And I don’t have to tell you the band’s heritage The Terrordome: Black Radio in the includes Jr. Gone Wild, Killing Time and Hour of Chaos SNFU. Hot-assed R ‘n R on campus. Fri- Every Saturday at 9:00pm day. Hosted by Minister Faust The Smalls This weekend the Minster will reveal A= Bel O° G-ReA.P Hey Da Bronx the truth behind the assassination of Thursday, January 9 Malcolm X. Fight the Power people. Woody Allen:A Biography in the Bronx, New York in 1935. Woody Weird. Weird. Weird. Sound like the The Undertakers by Eric Lax Allen, Konigsberg’s new comedic persona, reaearlly lVanygel is with Shuffle Demons Sidetrack Cafe Vintage Books was born in 1952. The book follows Allen’s and a touch of Me Mom & Morgentaler. Tuesday, January 12 rise from writer to stand-up comedian, to Hey, can’t get better than that. Wild times review by Robert Chow actor, to screenwriter, to director. in the moshpit. Beer getting poured all Rodney’s brother plays in this band. eading a biography of Woody For me, the most interesting part of the over you. Under 10 bucks. It’s a bargain. They don’t sound like Nirvana. Allen right now couldn’t come at book was his rise to the top directorial ranks a more timely moment. What with his Academy Award-winning Annie with the Mia Farrow / Soon Yi Hall ( which won Best Picture and Best Di- scandal which transpired mere months ago, rector, and Diane Keaton winning Best Ac- the biography demonstrates the genius be- tress). Three years later, he released his mag- hind the man, warts and all. num opus, Manhattan. oO U This book provides tremendous insight If you’re a Woody Allen fan, as] am (or at into one of the most fascinating characters in least, I used to be), then you'll find certain popular culture. He has influenced count- sections fascinating. One part discusses the VARSITY less comedians and stand-up comics. After difficulties he has finding titles for his mov- reading this, I am convinced that Allen is ies. For Crimes And Misdemeanors, he consid- one of the greatest American directors of the ered titles such as Brothers, A Matter Of Con- GREEN CARD last twenty years; alongside Scorcese and science, Two Lives, Crimes And Vanity, The Coppola (despite Allen’s recent track record). Lord's Prayer, The Eyes Of God among others. The book begins with the childhood of Incidentally, the cover photo was taken one Allan Stewart Konigsberg growing up by none other than Mia Farrow. if Works like cash! Helps to Sere budget! Save money! Get ca discounts! On-campus shopping convenience for staff, faculty and students! Varsity Card Office Room 44, Lister Hall Phone: 492-4281 Hello, My name is Steven Yi and I look exactly like Tom Cruise. Well, maybe not exactly. Okay, admit, Il ook only a little like him if you squint your eyes, tilt your head and shut off the lights in the room. Alright, alright, I y don’t look anything like him. However, if you come up to the Gateway office in room 282, SUB, to volunteer to write stories or take pho- tos, you can look at the picture of Tom Cruise I have hanging over my desk while you talk to me. Hava eNic e Day Catering & Conference Services Department of Housing & Food Services University of Alberta GATEWAY Thursday, January 7,1993 Page 9 The Fly looks at TV He doesn’t have a life, but he’s got a remote control. Th at’s good enough. Public TV | fed. Maybe the world isn’t such a bad place My house after all. Friday and Saturday X-Tendamix: They’re playing New December 18 and 19, 1992 Kids On The Block “Here’s One For The Children.” Yes it is. Pass out. review by The Fly o I’m sittin’ at home Friday night, 12:48 am exams are over and hey, got nothin’ (zllzI Star Trek: The Next Generation: It’s better to do so I check out the tube. the one where Troi turns into a slut and So call me a loser ‘cause I’m not out | starts hitting on everyone. The crew doesn’t getting bombed as is the “tradition” this notice the difference. (flip) time of year. But like the man said: Free your | Saturday Night Live: Christmas mind and your ass will follow. This is what compilation of past 18 years. Eddie Murphy Isaw. | comes on and talks about his Cabbage Head Dolls. Can you believe that? Ha, ha, ha! (flip) DAY 1: Friday, December 18 [4][4] Good Rockin’ Tonite: It’s the box set 10:21 pm show where Stu hocks the new box sets for WWE Wrestling: An overweight the Christmas season. Rod Stewart has one. white guy with a thyroid condition throws Show a clip of him singing about depressing the victim out of the ring. Crowd starts boo- love angst. (flip) ing. He yells “Shaddup! Shaaaadduuuppp!” MuchMusic: It’s the Smiths with Crowd doesn’tand someone throwsa cup at Morrissey singing about depressing love his head. Just misses. (flip) angst. This is alternative? Pass out. Baywatch: David Hasselhoff is watching a bikini clad woman playing vol- 2:45 am leyball through his binoculars. It’s in slow soneeet® [sls over The Top: Stallone tries to win Rodney Gitzel motion of course. Probably doesn’t miss KITT the wrist wrestling championship. Time for one bit. (flip) hip college show. Now it’s “I’m crushing DAY 2: Saturday, December 19 the big showdown. (flip) [21][23] MuchWest: Terry David Mulligan your head” instead of “How’s it goin’, eh?” 11:16 pm 40] Home Shopping Club: Selling a is on Robson Street and raving about how It’s midnight. I feel very old. (flip) CNN: Airing a story of the starva- videotape rewinderin the shape ofa Porsche. terrific Vancouver is... again. He plays a Remington Steele: I can’t believe tion in Somalia. Realize the bad shape of the Doesn’t your VCR already do this? (flip) Chilliwack video. Bloody typical. (flip) how old this show looks. Remington’s world and how lucky I am. (flip) That's Incredible!: Show a guy Women’s Curling: The commen- Alfredo moussed hair looks like it could be X-Tendamix: A video of Bob who can ride the smallest bicycle in the tator is talking about final shot rock and used as a method for absolute dating TV Marley’s “Iron Lion Zion.” Feel a little bit world. Pedals for abouttwo cm. Stops. That’s some other curling bull. The skip starts shows. Tom Baker of Doctor Who guest stars. better. (flip) incredible! (flip) screaming “Hurry, hurry, hurry...” (flip) Does anybody care? (flip) [4][4]CBC’s The National: Talking about Over The Top: Stallone grunts. 21][23) MuchWest: Chilliwack. (flip) Home BoxOffice promos: They’re relief efforts in Somalia. Show a child getting Uuuarrdglgldhhhhh! He wins. I pass out. |6] | 6] Kenny Rogers: Keep Christmas showing the trailer for Encino Man. “Burp. I BARARYY! 8S eAKs With You: It’s Kenny Rogers. (flip) can smell that you know.” J laugh my head City Limits: The Lemonheads are up. That always cracks me up. Pass out.(flip) doing a cover of Simon & Garfunkel’s“ Mrs. Robinson.” It’s pretty good, but the nifty 1:16 am thing about it is the lead singer has one of [ollo]shaw Cable public broadcast: Show- those “Hello, My Name Is” tags and he has ing a videotape of a fireplace with organ “Luka” written in. Cool. (flip) music. I watch mesmerized for a few min- [olf10] Women’s Curling: “Hurry, hurry!” utes. (flip) The rock hits a loose straw. (flip) 818] Milk commercial (flip) WWF Wrestling: “Shaddup! 7\Z \Dura Lube Info-mercial: A bunch of Shadduuuuup!” (flip) guys are crowded around a computer moni- CNN: There’s a commercial with tor. The host is counting “120, 230, 400..." two turtles having sex. “That’s why we call Then they all collectively laugh and start them animals,” says the narrator. I pass out. orgasming as he hits some pre-ordained number when the Dura Lube holds up. The 11:53 pm end of civilization. (flip) [s][s |S CTV: Johnny LaRue is doing his [s][8]Milk commercial: A kid is standing cooking spot. He’s doing a dogfood casse- in front of a mirror with his reflection grow- role and smokin’ a butt over the frying pan. ing bigger and asking him to drink milk for I laugh. (flip) stronger bones. Final reflection has him at immer Pet commercial: It’s in French. age 18 with a blond girl who says “I’m “Le Pet de Chia est le grand amusant et waiting for you.” Kid starts drinking. I run Woolies ounce delicieux!” (flip) to the fridge to get a some. Realize I’m too [4][4 }Kids In The Hall: Just catch the end late by about six years. (flip) AV, January &is) with the nifty Shadowy Men theme music. It [329 LoveC onnection: “He just wasn't... seemed like yesterday when SCTV was the big enough.” Laughs. Pass out. stretch your food dollar at Dinwoodie Lounge riday, January ) CAF ETER pm $1.87 le a different meal deal offered each week for only Breakfast Special next week's special 99¢ Pizza and small 7:15am - 9:15am Neéicome B beverage Catering & Conference Services It’s a New Year! Housing & Food Services Beer Gardens, but indoors! University of Alberta saiasl Page 10 Thursday, January 7,1993 GATEWAY SEATTLE Mother Lovebone self-titled PolyGram Given all the hype surrounding this now- defunct Seattle band and their deceased frontman Andy Wood, I expected a really outstanding piece of work. Mother Love Bone brings together the band’s debut EP Shine, their only full length album Apple, and two lt bonus tracks, presumably allowing the lis- JUICY JUICY JUICY JUICY JUICE JUICE JUICE tener to trace MLB’s musical development. SBME ONERmeee What we get instead is a collection of half- baked ideas and self-indulgent, meandering tunes by a group of musicians who seem unmoved by the creative experience. With the exception of the haunting “Chloe Dancer/Crown of Thorns” (which is also included on the Singles soundtrack) and the Tongues and Bones riveting “ This is Shangrila,” few of the songs Juicy Juicy Juicy Juicy Juice Juice Juice break free of the 70’s-rockers, Led Zep-influ- independent ence that dominates MLB’s music. It is never pleasant criticizing a dead man, Happy Go-Lucky. Yep. That’s probably but Wood’s vocals and lyrics leave much to the best way to sum up Juicy Juicy Juicy Juicy be desired. He growls yeah’s, and baby’s his Juice Juice Juice, the latest offering from way through trippy, meaningless lyrics from Tongues and Bones. This is a happy band. the school of Jim Morrison and The Cult’s Giddy, even. Oh, sure, there are a few more Ian Astbury, at their worst. I mean, “She’s melancholy offerings on the the Juice album, albeit mostly forgettable. ma hot, ma hotma Gandhi!” It all combines but for the most part, this is a group of Now Robert Palmer has branched off into to make MLB’s music uninspired and un- people that’s having a good time. One look an entirely new direction. Ridin’ High is an original. at the little stick-guy demons on the CD case attempt at covering big band classics by the I guess I was disappointed with Mother will tell you that much. likes of Duke Ellington and Cole Porter. It is Love Bone because my expectations were so So what’s the upshot? A pretty fair album, Robert Palmer a project that he has been eager to do for high. This record’s alright for blasting at but unfortunately, one that fails to fully cap- Ridin’ High some time. parties where everyone is too drunk to care, ture the energy and dynamic range of their Island The arrangements are hopelessly bland, but it’s not what I expected from a band that live show. The CD features solid perfor- and towards the end of Side A the music some call the “godfathers of the Seattle mances (particularly the vocals of Robert Palmer has one of the best voicesin borders on the edge of tediousness. scene.” keyboarJdenniifesr tPed-erstony), pbuet li ke pop music. Unfortunately, it has often been But this album’s saving grace is Palmer’s Alejandra Varela Romero many bands, you haven’t heard ‘em ‘til wasted on sappy drivel. voice. With its smooth, subtle tones he glides REALLY you've seen ‘em. Tongues and Bones live is His best work came out of the early 80's, through each tune effortlessly. And he seems a purty cool way to spend an evening. At with blue-eyed soul like Sneakin’ Sally to be enjoying himself. their last show at RATT, they really pulled Through The Alley. Later material, like Riptide Ridin’ High is indeed a bold venture for out all the stops. (I mean, they even did a and Heavy Nova, saw Palmer experiment in Palmer, as it could easily have sounded like cover of M.C. 900 Foot Jesus — now that’s every single musical direction from heavy a lounge singer’s portfolio. entertainment.) metal to reggae. The results were amusing, Paula E. Kirman Sloan Still, I recommend the Juice album, and Smeared insist that you go see Tongues and Bones MCA Records next time they pass through town. They’re keen. They’re Canadian. They’re from Halifax. Mark Meer They’re incredibly cool. “They” are Sloan— the most exciting band to come out of our country in a dog’s age. Part Nirvana in their sweet, distorted tunes; part Teenage Fancltheuirb scireenchy , wailing guitars; and a combination of the two in their disaffected vocal styles, this young quartet packs more energy in one SHOdN song than most bands have in one tape. Their current single and video “Over- whelmed,” is a brilliant piece of clever lyrics and infectious, fuzzy, groovy, guitars: heaven in a four-minute tape loop. The rest of the tracks are equally memorable and...most excellent. REALLY. Run to your record store — beg, steal, use violence if necessary. They’re that cool. Isabela C. Varela *Great Italian Dining* REASONABLY PRICED Pasta Bar Now Open Wishing you a Happy 1993 We are happy to offer U of A Staff and Students One Free A variety of Pastas and Sauces available daily Entrée with the purchase of another entrée of greater or equal value with the presentation of this ad. Offer not valid with any other promotion. One coupon per table. Valid Sunday through Thursday only. Expires Feb. 11/93 8715-109 Street _f epee tt Call 439-8466 or 439-VINO *Less than a ten minute walk from campus* Delicatessen Students: Present U of A I.D. on Saturday between 11am SUB & 4 pm and receive 10% off your entire tab!! EAT IN ¢ TAKE OUT * CATERING °* 492 2090 9/93/01/07