Also by Stephen Fry FICTION The Liar The Hippopotamus Making History The Stars' Tennis Balls NON-FICTION Paperweight Moab is My Washpot Rescuing the Spectacled Bear The Ode Less Travelled: Unlocking the Poet Within Stephen Fry in America with Hugh Laurie A Bit of Fry and Laurie A Bit More Fry and Laurie Three Bits of Fry and Laurie Fry and Laurie Bit No. 4 The Fry Chronicles STEPHEN FRY MICHAEL JOSEPH an imprint of PENGUIN BOOKS MICHAEL JOSEPH Published by the Penguin Group Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4P 2Y3 (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) Penguin Ireland, 25 St Stephen's Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd) Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd) Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi - 110 017, India Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd) Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England www.penguin.com First published 2010 Copyright (c) Stephen Fry, 2010 The moral right of the author has been asserted All rights reserved Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library ISBN: 978-0-14-196957-2 To M'Coll Contents Introduction H O for Cereal, for Candy, C is for C12 22 11 for Caries, for Cavities, for Carbohydrates, for Calories C is for Cigarettes for Convict, for Cundall, for Corporal Punishment, for Common Pursuit, for Cessation 1. College to Colleague Cambridge College and Class Chess, Classics, Classical Composers, Curiosity and Cheating Caledonia 1 Cherubs, Coming Out, Continent Challenge 1 Corpus Christening Chariots 1 Caledonia 2 Conveniences Committees Cycle Comedy Colleague, Collaborator and Comrade Continuity and Clubroom Comedy Credits Cooke Chariots 2 Corpsing Chorus Cellar Tapes and Celebration Cheerio, Cambridge Caledonia 3 2. Comedy Carry on Capering Clash of Cultures Chelsea, Coleherne Clones and Conscience Colonel and Coltrane Computer 1