The Compassionate Family Advice and Guidance from Ayatollah Sayyid Ali Khamenei Translated by Alexander Khaleeli and Mona Makki Collected from the speeches of Ayatollah Sayyid Ali Khamenei Translated by Alexander Khaleeli and Mona Makki Edited by Rizwan Rashid and Hina Zehra Rizvi Special thanks to Sahba Institute for their many efforts in making this publication available in its original language. Copyright © AIM Foundation, 2018 ISBN 978-0-9957589-0-2 (pb) Second edition published in 2018 Published by AIM Foundation [email protected] www.aimislam.com Dedicated to the Most Holy and Compassionate Family, the Ahlulbayt (peace be upon them) CONTENTS PREFACE ........................................................................................ I WITH EVERY MARRIAGE A FAMILY IS BORN ................. 1 Marriage and Sanctity ................................................................. 2 Importance of Marriage in Islam ................................................. 3 The Right Time for Marriage ...................................................... 5 Choosing a Spouse ...................................................................... 8 Marriage in the Qur’an .............................................................. 14 The Paragon of Marriage: ‘Ali and Fatimah ............................. 16 An Islamic Occasion ................................................................. 19 Strengthening the Marital Bond ................................................ 24 Being Grateful for Marriage ...................................................... 26 THE FAMILY, THE WORLD’S FIRST INSTITUTION ....... 29 The Role of the Family in Society ............................................ 29 The Family Institution ............................................................... 35 Family: an Abode of Peace ....................................................... 37 Recognizing the Value of Domestic Work ............................... 42 Natural Human Desires ............................................................. 46 Positive Upbringing of Children ............................................... 49 The Binding Matter of Love ..................................................... 51 Importance of Trust ................................................................... 53 A Covering for One Another ..................................................... 55 Keeping Each Other on the Heavenly Path ............................... 58 Marriage: A Spiritual or Material Transaction .......................... 63 A New Life of Simplicity .......................................................... 70 The Importance of Accommodating Each ................................ 72 Other ......................................................................................... 72 MEN & WOMEN: THE GENDER ISSUE .............................. 79 Gender in Islam ......................................................................... 79 The Distinct Roles of Men and Women .................................... 85 Islam’s View on Women ........................................................... 87 The Importance of Hijab ........................................................... 94 Conceptualizing Women’s Freedom ......................................... 99 Honouring Women .................................................................. 102 Women and Society ................................................................ 106 Gender Regulations in Islam ................................................... 111 The Worth of a Muslim Woman ............................................. 115 The Role of a Mother .............................................................. 119 The Rewarded Struggle of a Woman ...................................... 121 CLOSING WORDS OF ADVICE ........................................... 129 Key Advice to Women ............................................................ 129 Key Advice to Men ................................................................. 133 GLOSSARY ............................................................................... 137 INDEX OF QUR’ĀNIC VERSES ........................................... 141 NOTES ........................................................................................ 144 Preface| I PREFACE T he family is the foundation of society, and from it stems new life and a thriving purpose to develop and achieve great things. It is the cornerstone of life and is humanity’s greatest social institution. In Islam, marriage and the formation of a family is regarded as one of the most important objectives for a person to achieve. This importance is demonstrated through the judicial and moral teachings of Islam, which guide us through an array of family issues in order to cater for our spiritual and physical needs. Today, we live in a world where secularism, individualism and materialism have been aggressively pushed at the human consciousness such that family values are being undermined and eroded. This has resulted in moral decay and other harmful outcomes that prevent the attainment of long-term happiness and stability. Although neglecting family values can allow for a short-lived material fulfilment for some people, the collective prosperity of society cannot be possible without special attention to the family. This book is our humble contribution to this important subject. It is a collection of advice and antidotes provided by II |The Compassionate Family Ayatollah Sayyid Ali Khamenei, a theologian, jurist and statesman who holds the post of being the foremost Islamic authority and head of state of the Islamic Republic of Iran. Despite all his engagements, Ayatollah Khamenei often conducts the marriage ceremonies of newlyweds, and this book is a collection of some of his words of advice during those sessions. This book was initially put together by the Sahba Institute in Iran and published in Farsi as a publication entitled ‘Khanevade’ meaning the Family. It is now available in English to share the Islamic teachings on this subject and to present them as an alternative way to attain happiness as opposed to the current material and secular ideas that are prevalent in our society. Much thought went into the naming of this book as we felt the literal translation was not sufficient for its new English audience and after many brainstorming sessions we reached the name ‘The Compassionate Family’ which is inspired by the verse of the Holy Qur’an: اجً اوَ زْ َأ مْ كُ سِ ُفنَأ نْ مِِّ مكُ َل قَ َلخَ نْ َأ هِ ِتاَيآ نْ مِ وَ كَ لَِذَٰ يِف نَّ ِإ ً ةمَ حْ رَ وَ ًةَّدوَ مَّ مكُ َنيْ َب لَ َعجَ وَ اهَ يْ َلِإ اوُنكُ سْ َتِّلِ نَ ورُ كَّ َفَتَي مٍ وْ َقِّلِ تٍ اَيلََ “And of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find rest in them, and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.” (Holy Qur’an 30:21)