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Prentice Hall Business. We work harder – so you don’t have to. For more details on products, and to contact us, visit www.business-minds.com www.yourmomentum.com The Coaching Manual The definitive guide to the process, principles and skills of personal coaching Julie Starr Pearson Education an imprint of London • New York • Toronto • Sydney • Tokyo • Singapore • Hong Kong • Cape Town New Delhi • Madrid • Paris • Amsterdam • Munich • Milan • Stockholm PEARSON EDUCATION LIMITED Head Office: Edinburgh Gate Harlow CM20 2JE Tel: +44 (0)1279 623623 Fax: +44 (0)1279 431059 London Office: 128 Long Acre London WC2E 9AN Tel: +44 (0)20 7447 2000 Fax: +44 (0)20 7447 2170 Website: www.business-minds.com www.yourmomentum.com First published in Great Britain in 2003 © Pearson Education Limited 2003 The right of Julie Starr to be identified as Author of this Work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. ISBN 0 273 66193 0 British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data ACIP catalogue record for this book can be obtained from the British Library. All rights reserved; no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without either the prior written permission of the Publishers or a licence permitting restricted copying in the United Kingdom issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd, 90 Tottenham Court Road, London W1P 0LP. This book may not be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise disposed of by way of trade in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published, without the prior consent of the Publishers. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Designed by Claire Brodmann Book Designs, Lichfield, Staffs Typeset by Northern Phototypesetting Co. Ltd, Bolton Printed and bound in Great Britain by Biddles Ltd, Guildford & King’s Lynn The Publishers’ policy is to use paper manufactured from sustainable forests. Contents Acknowledgements ix Chapter 1 Introduction 1 The purpose of this book 2 What is personal coaching? 3 Coaching: In business 8 Personal coaching: Life/lifestyle 10 A comparison of coaching and therapy 11 Summary: Introduction 13 Chapter 2 Collaborative coaching 15 What does collaborative coaching mean? 16 Non-directive versus directive language 16 Attributes of a good coach 22 Summary: Collaborative coaching 26 Chapter 3 Coaching principles or beliefs 29 Operating principles for coaches 30 Maintain a commitment to support the individual 31 v CONTENTS Build the coaching relationship on truth, openness and trust 36 The coachee is responsible for the results they are generating 39 The coachee is capable of much better results than they are currently generating 43 Focus on what the coachee thinks and experiences 45 Coachees can generate perfect solutions 47 The conversation is based on equality 51 Summary: Coaching principles or beliefs 52 Chapter 4 Coaching process and structure 55 Four stages of a coaching assignment 57 Stage one – establish the context for coaching 59 Stage two – create understanding and direction 72 Stage three – review/confirm learning 85 Stage four – completion 92 A framework for coaching 99 Summary: Coaching process and structure 102 Chapter 5 Fundamental skills of coaching 105 Can anyone coach? 106 Skill one – building rapport or relationship 107 Skill two – different levels of listening 128 Skill three – using intuition 141 Skill four – asking questions 147 Skill five – giving supportive feedback 163 Summary: Fundamental skills of coaching 183 vi CONTENTS Chapter 6 Barriers to coaching 185 Physical and environmental barriers 186 Barriers relating to the coach’s behaviour and belief 189 Summary: Barriers to coaching 213 Chapter 7 Summary and close 217 Key points of learning 218 The future of coaching 222 Taking your learning forward 222 Appendix 1 Coaching overview document 225 Index 233 vii Acknowledgements There are many people who have contributed to the development of the ideas and thoughts in the book and I hope I’ve remembered to acknowledge most of them. So I would express gratitude for the work of the following people; Anthony Robbins, Stephen Covey, Richard Bandler, John Grinder, Deepak Chopra, M. Scott Peck, Landmark Education, Brian Tracey, Frank Daniels and Milton H. Erickson. I’d also like to thank Marcia Yudkin, Richard Watts, Scott Downing, Joss Kang, Julia Whitely, Mike Fryer and Rachael Stock for their challenges, thoughts, and ideas in preparation of the text. ix