Praise for tHE CaLL the call of character hould we feel inadequate when we fail “The Call of Character engages questions of perennial interest to philosophers, theo- of CHaraCtEr Sto be healthy, balanced, and well-ad- rists, and all individuals, and mari ruti is perhaps uniquely qualifed to write it. She justed? is it realistic or even desirable to strive has an uncanny ability to translate complex theoretical issues into clear and read- for such an existential equilibrium? condemn- able—yet not the least bit dumbed-down—prose. her treatment of the timeless ques- ing our current cultural obsession with cheer- tion (what makes for a good life?) is both original and insightful. i wholeheartedly fulness and “positive thinking,” mari ruti calls recommend this book.” —Amy Allen, Dartmouth college for a resurrection of character that honors our more eccentric frequencies and argues that “this book will contribute powerfully to discussions of the self from a position both sometimes a tormented and anxiety-ridden inside and outside the critical psychoanalytic discourse.” —Gail Newman, Williams college Living a Life Worth Living life can also be rewarding. “ruti’s fabulous new book revels in the unanswerable mystery of the call of character— ruti critiques the search for personal meaning that aspect of ourselves that makes each of us unique, passionate, yet also perpetu- and pragmatic attempts to normalize human ally dissatisfed and longing for more. in ruti’s hands, dissatisfaction at our incom- beings’ unruly and idiosyncratic natures. ex- pleteness becomes not a reason for despair but a source of fascination and political posing the tragic banality of a happy life com- Mari ruti was educated at brown uni- possibility: a summons to pursue an erotics of being in the most mundane aspects of monly lived, she instead emphasizes the ad- versity and harvard university and is profes- our everyday lives.” —Lynne Huffer, emory university vantages of a lopsided life rich in passion and sor of critical theory at the university of to- fortitude. She also shows what matters is not ronto. She is also the author of Reinventing “The Call of Character is expansively erudite yet plain-spoken, honest with a dazzling our ability to evade existential uncertainty the Soul: Posthumanist Theory and Psychic self-consciousness that situates itself historically in our present moment. ruti’s sin- but our courage to meet adversity in such a Life; A World of Fragile Things: Psychoanal- gular voice gives words to those necessary though often disavowed tensions of human way that we do not become irrevocably broken. ysis and the Art of Living; The Summons of life. i have already used insights from this book in my work with patients, to whom i We are in danger of losing the capacity to cope Love; and The Singularity of Being: Lacan have directly recommended ruti’s works before. She helps us to understand our pri- with complexity, ambiguity, melancholia, dis- and the Immortal Within. vate impediments that inherently obscure our relation to our own desires. The Call of orientation, and disappointment, ruti warns, Character should be read by academics, clinicians, and students, but most important- leaving us feeling less “real” and less con- ly by those who want to live with authentic vitality in a world that makes it seem dif- nected and unable to process a full range of fcult to do so.” —Joseph S. Reynoso, book review editor, Psychoanalytic Psychology emotions. heeding the call of our character means acknowledging the marginalized, cha- CoLuMBia uNiVErSitY PrESS | NEW YorK otic aspects of our being, and it is precisely cup.columbia.edu these creative qualities that make us inimi- table and irreplaceable. ISBN: 978-0-231-16408-5 Mari ruti Jacket Design: mary ann Smith Jacket image: ©getty 9 780231 164085 coLumbia PrinteD in the u.S.a. ruti tHE CaLL of CHaraCtEr ©bodhan turok The Call of CharaCTer The Call of Character Living a Life Worth Living Mari Ruti Columbia University Press New York Columbia University Press Publishers Since 1893 New York Chichester, West Sussex cup.columbia.edu Copyright © 2014 Mari Ruti All rights reserved Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Ruti, Mari. The call of character : living a life worth living / Mari Ruti. pages cm Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 978-0-231-16408-5 (cloth : alk. paper) — ISBN 978-0-231-53619-6 (e-book) 1. Character. 2. Conduct of life. I. Title. BJ1521.R88 2013 170'.44—dc23 2013008069 Columbia University Press books are printed on permanent and durable acid-free paper. This book is printed on paper with recycled content. Printed in the United States of America c 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Cover design by Mary Ann Smith Cover photograph by Tetra Images To AZ I wrote this book for you before I even met you. contents ecafe rP xi onkcA stnemgdel w vx ParT I. The arT of Self-faShIonIng .�t ehc l afo cretca rah � .�t eh rP seco fo gnimoceB � .�t ehs ytic�icep fo e riseD � ParT II. The arT of Self-reSPonSIbIlITy .�t eh stnirpeulB fo roiv ah eB � .�t eh clA ymeh fo ytil anoital e R � .�t ehe sciht fo ytilibisnopse R � ParT III. The arT of Self-Surrender .�t ehs e fo vre w noisa P � vi i i C onTe nTS 8. The Upside of Anxiety 141 9. The Erotics of Being 159 Notes 177 Index 185 PrefaCe One of the peculiarities of this book is that it presents relatively complex ideas in relatively simple language. I chose this approach because I believe that my topic—the question of what makes each of us a unique and idiosyncratic character—should be accessible to readers beyond the academy. At the same time, I have sought to avoid the overly simplistic tone of much of the popular writing on the theme. When self-help or New Age gurus tackle the question of what it means to lead a fulflling life, the kind of life that feels worth living, they tend to advocate a streamlined program of (con- crete or spiritual) steps that is supposed to lead to a harmonious existence, thereby sidestepping all the ways in which human life is not designed to be harmonious. Likewise, they tend to fall back on an untheorized notion of what it means to be a human being in the frst place, talking as if the matter were completely straight- forward. It’s not. As a result, if this book has a goal, it is to remain