THE pl JEEPERS CREEPERS EXCLUSIVE VIDEO OF MIRAH'S , BUG-TASTIC @ PERFORMANCE AT THE MFA JANUARY 18-24, 2008.) SECTIONS | FREE e FREEDOM WATCH THE KEY TO THE BUSHIES’ UNDOING IN THE CIA-TAPES SCANDAL LIES IN ‘A CONNECTICUT CHILD-PORN CASE _by Harvey Silverglate |p 13 MUSIC Dj SPOOKY WARMS TO GLOBAL SOUNDS _by Jon Garelick |A +E p 15 Buus( se bensw Nee lelsseeny MAwards will.be dominated :¥ Great Scie Ay a. y Peter Sau MADAM MAYOR MAUREEN? BARACK AND DEVAL Feeney throws gauntlet at Menino |p 15 Obama’s authenticity problem |p 12 WT RE iI UNSIGNED BANDS SUPE EMR Eee eRe me lea JAN 19, 2008 6:00PM PARADISE BOSTON TS WAcpyatUt M mmmo O FILLMORE AT THE TLA alee FEB 02,2008 6:00PM BLENDER THEATER AT GRAMERCY MANHATTAN BUY TICKETS NOW AT BODOGLIFE.NET OeNT Ea l BoeA NDOt. Oet NeEl CdlOe NTRA\ THEBOSTON =o ‘If we can copy cells like mp3 files, shouldn't someone be building SINCE 1966 a biological Napster?’ January 18 |2 008 ontents _MATT MASON, PAGE 18 ON THE COVER | MAIN IMAGE BY K. BANKS. PIRACY ISTRATBIYO MINKE CORMAN | ON THIS PAGE | NAPSTE R ONA PHOT News + Features 18 PROPHETS OF PROFITS DO1N2’ T TQHUAOTTE ’SME WHAT HE SAID _BY MIKE MILIARD ARTS + ENTERTAINMENT Matt Mason’s book The Pirate's Dilemma: How Youth “VICE AND VIRTUE IN PRE-CODE HOLLYWOOD” TAKES US _BY ADAM REILLY Culture Is Reinventing Capitalism says big business BACK TO SOME SERIOUSLY GOOD OLD DAYS | p& Here in Massachusetts, Barack Obama's oratory can trigger has a lot to learn from pirates. PUZZLE GAME FAIRWAY SOLITAIRE |S A STROKE OF déja vu, because his message sounds a lot like the one Governor Departments GENIUS | p9 Deval Patrick delivered in 2006. 4 EDITORIAL THIRD, COPENHAGEN, AND HENRY V WAGE THREE DIFFER- FREEDOM WATCH ENT KINDS OF WAR |p 10 13 TORTURE-TAPES TEMPLATE 6 LETTERS ARTISTS ARE GETTING WIND OF THE APOCALYPSE IN LOCAL _BY HARVEY SILVERGLATE 7 PSYCHO SUDOKU! GALLERIES | p 12 A little-known Connecticut child-porn prosecution may define how 8 THIS JUST IN CHEF ANTHONY BOURDAIN GEARS UP FOR ANOTHER TV the Department of Justice prosecutes the Bush lawyers and CIA SEASON OF EXTREME EATING | p 13 operatives who destroyed the now-infamous interrogation tapes. Fraught with our pants down | Colbert’s shame | David Sipress’s “Reality Check.” A NEW COLLECTION MAKES CLEAR WHY IT’S TIME TO TALKING POLITICS 10 SPORTS BLOTTER sy marr raise: CATCH UP WITH BEAT POET PHILIP WHALEN | p 14 15 MADAM MAYOR? Post-Pats crimes and blunt returns. Dj SPOOKY TAKES HIS “ILLBIENT” BEATS FROM BROOKLYN _BY DAVID S. BERNSTEIN Tl PRESIDENTIAL TOTE BOARD TO ANTARCTICA |p 15 WNheiwl e Haemvpersyhoinree waprsi mdairsyt,r acdtiedd Cbityy tChoe uncil ThBYe SNTeEVwE N HaSmTpARsKh ire surprises exploded the myth SLOTCEALLZ ERE XPCEERLIEMBERNATTAELS- MAU S1I0CT H AACNINTIAVTOERR SAHROYW A|R pD 1 6 president Maureen Feeney step into ’ that the Net has improved political reporting. SARAH BORGES LIGHTS A ROOTS-ROCK FIRE | p17 the race for mayor? 21 DINING WARN DEFEVER TAKES TWO MORE BOLD STEPS WITH HIS 16 CELLULOID Robert Nadeau welcomes authentic French food NAME IS ALIVE |p 18 to Newbury Street at La Voile. DEVILS 24 CLASSIFIEDS LUPE FIASCO RAPS A LOT SMARTER THAN HE TALKS | p19 _BY PETER KEOUGH 28 PHOENIX PEOPLE FNIRNEGN CRHE TVUARRNI ETAEF TSEIRN GAE RP RJOEFAONUNNED MAFASL L |MA Kp E2S0 A STUN- Oscar’s gone to the dark side. 30 MOON SIGNS asrrovocy av symeotine oat This year’s Academy Awards will AND IN “BACK TALK,” TYLER RAMSEY TALKS APOUT SPLIT be dominated by demonic men. 30 PHOENIX CROSSWORD TING HIS SOLO CAREER WITH BAND OF HORSES | p 42 KEEP YOUR RESOLUTION: STAY FIT! . 0 neneSaelen mdatese nmJmanm.n e4c-2m7e"e,n 08 | NOW ONLY Qj% OFF res \$25 $45 OFF new balance Be 1L Oreigin al Fcactoery e Tech Shirts all Trail Shoes Cotton Embroidered T-Shirt FACTORY STORE limit 19 a ta PRY Te 7m ; stat laces mul 40 Life St. $909 All Kid’s Footwear Men’s and Women’s Excellent Available in multipie widths Cushioned Running Shoes & under 5 S. Union St. @ 1-877-NBF-STOR (623-7867) | Discoofuft nacttor y storep nces. Caanpplnyt oop riotrs a leso ro thero ffers. Shoes aref actory seconds ord iscontinsutyeldes . Forf irstq ualityd ealers. call 1 800 253 SHOE. or visitN ew Balance Burlington att he Wayside Commons. Above offers not valid at dealer store: o us a BP| The mayor's ideas seemed N | PROVIDENCE | PORTLANE Editorial well-intentioned but pale. VOL. XXXWH | NO. 3 EPHEN M. MINDICH PUBLISHER + CHAIRMAN PRESIDENT CHIEF FINANCIAL OFFICER MAYOR MENINO SENIOR VICE-PRESIDENT OUT OF NEW IDEAS? EXECUTIVE EDITOR St-ehne tdne xtay no uBreO- SmcPaoiHlmX .mt eo ntltheestn t eatro s2—@ phx .c2 ob m Old ideas for a new Plus, a dirty job for Deval: fix the Big Dig JURING THE PAS THE GOOD NEWS 0 HALL HAS COME IN THE FORM of fresh faces. Mayor Thomas Menino has brought in promising outsiders to lead the city’s police department, fire department, lARKETING/PROMOTIONS school system, and information-technology operation. But those hoping that new faces would translate into new thinking from City Hall were surely disappointed by the mayor’s VicE-P RESIDENT OFM ARKETING ANDB USINESS DEVELOPMENT State of the City address Tuesday evening DIREOFPC ROTMOTOIORNS BRIAN AP>P® In the past, Menino has often used the IANDTUELRTA CMTAIRVKEE TMIANRGK EMTAINNAGG MEARN LAAGREAR 82 State of the City to announce his most ambi ADVERTISING SALES tious plans — not all of which come to frui \VICE-PORFPE RISNITM OEDEIANS ATLE S tion, and not all of which deserve to. But those proposals are nonetheless signs of the administration's vitality, and some of those ideas do go on to truly improve the city This year, despite the infusion of so much CJLAFFAICS COSOSRAIDLIEFNSA DITIORREE C| DTO R AMEBLEV® new blood, the mayor’s ideas seemed well CCLLAASSSSIIFFIIEEDD DLIISNPELSA AYC ACCOUCNOTU NETX EECXUETCIUVTEISV E t intentioned but pale. They exhibited more ADULT SITE MODERATOR/SALES SUPPORT\ than a touch of anemia SALES ASSISTANTF Menino’s most eye-catching proposal ADVE RTISING ART DEPARTMENT was his declaration of intent to revisit the CREATIVE DIRECTOR | CORPORATEP RODUCTIONM ANAGER issue of public-school busing To be sure, SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNERS * itsn ewsworthy and controversial that he PCRIODRUCCTUILONA TION wants to push in the direction of neighbor hood schooling. But it’s not a new idea, and Menino didn't even offer the barest outline of his preferred approach, saying only that I believe we can rethink our school assign union leaders’ unwillingness to eliminate This is an outrage. Governor Deval Patrick ment zones.” substance abuse and unethical personnel must take action to fix this problem and reas Other new initiatives? “Single-stream practices,” he said, adding that “It is not right sure the public. Conceived by a Democratic recycling” (i.e , No more separating paper to ask for pay raises as a reward for putting a governor and built during the 16 years that from plastic New bike lanes on Com stop to these abuses.” Republicans held the governor’s office, the monweal th Avenue. A million-dollar drop He’s right, of course, and he’s absolutely historic Big Dig project sprawled in a way 1-the-bucket for improving communit right to call public disgust to bear on the that obviously defied effective oversight. And centers’ role as “Community Learning” union the barrels of cash that Big Dig contractors partners. More Advanced Placement classes But it was also a reminder that Menino distributed to officeholders and office seek in the city’s high schools has been fighting with — and failing to ers of both parties kept politicians and public These are all fine ideas, but hardly bold reform — the firefighters for more than a de officials from keeping too close an eye on the CREDIT/COLLECTIONSR EPRESENTATIVE ones. But to be fair, barring a major new cade. Most of the improvements he is now so engineers and bureaucrats in charge of the MAN RESOURCES stream of revenue from the state govern adamant about implementing were recom project. What is done is done. Focus on the nt, expensive ideas are nonstarters at mended to him in the O’Toole Commission future. The governor must step in and fix it he moment report 10 years ago The Big Dig’s never-ending controversies CaOpRePsOR ATE rE XECUTIVE RREESCOEUPRTICOEN IASSTS IST)A NT Still, i t would be nice to get some sense if Mer 1ino wants to convince voters that his do more than compromise public safety. They that Menino is allowing his new agency and administration is still vital and innovative, erode public confidence in government, to department heads to contribute fresh ideas to he'll have to do better than we saw this week the extent that any still exists. The tax revolt PROVIDQEANCSES IFEDS an increasingly stale administration that began in California 30 years ago and hit PORTLAND Perhaps there’s still hope. On one of the GOVERNOR: FIX IT! Massachusetts in 1980 in the form of “Propo YW VERIwFesI SITEE D most important issues facing the city — the Massachusetts is playing a dangerous and sition 2 1/2” was rooted in citizens’ belief already atrocious and still climbing high irresponsible game of chicken with public that they were not getting value for their tax MANUSCRIPTS, school dropout rate — Menino promised that safety. The “playground”: Big Dig tunnels dollars. The Big Dig, which should be seen new superintendent Carol Johnson will out which — despite what were clearly bogus as as a magnificent example of public works, line plans later this month sertions to the contrary — are still seriously instead stands — leaking — as a symbol of Another notable part of Menino’s speech leaking. As of this past month, the down graft and incompetence. Governor Patrick highlighted the age-old and increasingly tire town tunnels were leaking in 237 spots. For was elected by pledging to restore a sense of some war of wills between the mayor and the some bizarre reasons, public officials seem hope to public life, as well as a promise to THE PHOENIX MEDIA COMMUNICATIONS GROUP firefighters union to take comfort in the alleged fact that this transcend the pettiness that keeps state gov- EXAECIURTMIAVNE EDITOR PRESIOENT The union backed down from threats to will not likely present a problem until the ermment from accomplishing what it should. CDHIIREEFC TFOIRN ANOFC IANLE WSOFPFAIPCEERR GROUP SALES picket the speech, but Menino lashed out at tunnels have sustained 25 years’ worth of By fixing the Big Dig, he will be starting at a PRESIDENT EMERITUS them nonetheless “I am astounded by the continuous water damage good place: from the ground up. © hae lloD eed al ms iat 8)t al Rodfest 6fe aturing Girls Guns & Glory, ig ho tee)A L hed ete lanre e Pa VE UA me EE Ct Brae Bete) Semi-Fina THS SATURDAY JANUARY1 3 mane TVET ABEL BryE a meh 30 DOORS / 7:30 show / ALL AGES wi rR SRT eee Race Brn ad , FREE DOWNLOAD OF THE NEW BIG HEAD TODD RECORD eo Be me Ma ALL THE LOVE YOU NEED AT WWW.BIGHEADTODS.Com i e os eh wi special guests Barefoot Truth, Lucy Vincent, ieee ere Sales Rhett Miller US se le mem eee SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 2 ’ he eo mT tte aCe eC m a UNE Cr metal} | % . ; Sam Kininger Band, Peter Prince and vo ecco IA cece | , = F AC UCRG ls MONSTERS - SATURDAY, FEBRUAR2Y OSC | rfaet teVa sa tt ay 21 &2 2 6:30 DOORS /7 :30 SHOW/ A LL AGES aee rAess )o e | vt Ra é To VT a ae TigVi de PeUy |y e PeOa WBEeR | wei vcana agusest Thaee B ridge EE 3 eennnnanan MEE S08!) RO) 4 a. | Sound The Alarm : pis as | \ . i. « a .» New York Dolls in ; PS eee SA eM Bala ad BONE st mel ae Bravery wi special guest The Switches (2/18) eA Ri Sass el eee) en TC ECU Le BLACK KEYS|| fadenEVMi Cne anURE Tg > Big Head als ATTACE & RELEASE . The Monsters PT ere ee ue aed THURSDAY & FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 21 & 22 BT ee ere es wi special guest Times New Viking STU ea tek ae) Matt Costa ero ee se cule unites a a a) a SATURDAY, MAY1 7 “at OP UG) em ~ . sve ah Stoopid CITIZEN COFE 0)U pcoming Shows ow USSe aeeC hile Se 1/26 MARILYN MANSON - 2/1 MIKA | FRIDAA ,E EO 2/27 JAMES BLUNT - 3/9 JILL SCOTT Bee eee aT eed BZBLIVENATION.com a [email protected] pov «: A 5 Oe ar ticketmaster CHARGE BY PHONE: 866-448-7849 eS ticketmaster CHARGE BY PHONE: 866-448-7849 Alld ates, acts andt icket prices subject to change without notice. Alld ates, acts andt icket prices subject to change without notice. A service charge may be added to each ticket. Amencan Express As ervice charge may bea dded to eacht icket. American Express ~ Membership Rewards® points accepted fora ll concert tickets. Membership Rewards® points accepted fora llc oncert tickets. Letters Tour 200 Surging insurgent Over time, I think Steven Stark has been the most astute observer of 2] the political scene. Recently, however, he has shown himself to be too wedded to “conventional wisdom” when describing the Democratic race. (See “Going the Distance,” “Presidential Tote Board,” January 11.) Yes, recent experience would indicate that the “outsider/insurgent” candidate would fade over time. FRIDAY, APRIL4 But this time, Barrack Obama is funded as well, or better AGGANIS ARENA than, the “establishment” candidate, Hillary Clinton. He also has as good or better advisers and organization than BBLIveEnaAryrion.com does Clinton. Gchetmaster CHARGE BY PHONE 866-448-7849 Acnencan Express MembersRehwairpns ” pots accepted (i, B 'sSoubab jfeAela cc toN tndcoeCT rhtdtan oAnce kgeaeecNt whsdi AttAilhc olkud. eattt nPeCosu,ra cOceot sAaMd sbnerduy vt (i iccwceke eCeM htpa adrtriogc nee s m ay aHsntor we“e ti nmsasumnraygr etnstt,i” m etsoh audgh ahsnt ehes s, WLtehrteit etBroses tmoanuy s F hbeo em antiix e of the Year, “Sports aCnhdi camgoon eDye-mpoocwreart ico f otr-h e 1B62o16s7 t.o8Bn5r,9o .o8k2lM0iA1n ;e Av0o2r2e1e5; n umefa aixleedd t B2l0o0t7t)e?r ,”T hiDs ecteo mmbye r mi2n1,d ganization behind him? to [email protected] or to was the overlooked story aL: TEXTS ToWfha asCthl’isin ntgfoutnl’olsyn tNhfeoewl k esq.Y uoarPlkl us, samntduuasdfmftrb eewsrrisi nteceflsrous rd’( ee v-eemar-a imitfalieicellade t piholnoe tnteae rnsd owMfei rctehh aee allyl e atVrai.lc kkW,i hngit lheea boWwueWt E ittenhr e a c“ariannwds iudrpaogtleeint ti”cta hli si s steai nmsbeeet, - aacf raoehin rosnmsieuesdbstej,or ewacnttai) no.dtn os eAcdlloliaf rt iiltsyen ptgat ceefro sr mfboaarrdgbeeat r isciut rse s pplowarect ei dniagd mn’otn g around. I’m not sug- events. WARPAINT gesting Clinton’s recent ED WEINBERG “tears” were contrived, but however they hap- one state. Yes, the candi pened, that’s a one-time dates need a focal point OR, SPACE fluke that can’t or won’t for their campaigns, but BETTER SERVED? happen again. running for president ob- Can you find a better Obama, | believe, is viously involves winning use of your space than going to morph into the over all the states. While “Sports Blotter”? It’s “establishment” candidate I think New Ha gotten tedious. We get himself. There are cred- should be a it. Sports figures commit ible reports that a number national prim crimes. So what? So do of US senators are about not invite other states to doctors, lawyers, jour- to endorse him, and John participate? Like Super nalists, editorial-letter Kerry already has. And, Tuesday, let three writers, and many other unlike what Stark says, to four states that groups. It’s time for an- when Edwards drops out, demonstrat other feature. “Sports the majority of his support commitment V Blotter” has gone on well will likely go to Obama come the bellwet past its freshness date. Edwards has said it him can even use RAY CHARBONNEAU self: he and Obama are the data to support N candidates of “change” anced represen Clinton is the candidate of the US POF THE COUNTRY the “status quo New Ham NEEDS CRIMMINS This is still a horse race, its role to he This was my first time but Stark is selling Obama's er states would ft reading Barry Crimmins chances short. He says Hill not just fort I fi see “The National Af- ary is 1-2, and Obama is 2-1 like Florida it tO SUPpoTt front,” News and Fea- I'd take that bet. Keep up the greater |g od of the na- tures, December 21, 2007). the good work tion then I ave at it! Very impressive; he’s a VIC SHOLIS SUSAN RYAN one-man Daily Show. If we could only get Crimmins on the panel that hosts PRIMARY PIG PILE? SO MANY SKELLS, the candidate debates, the Regarding “New Hamp SO LITTLE SPACE country would never be shire’s Last Hurrah” (News Did you forget the awful the same. And I mean that and Features, January 4 fate of Chris Benoit on in a good way first in the nation doesn’t your year-end round-up of ERVIN SHIENBAUM need to be confined to just ill-behaved athletes (“Skell Big Fat Whalle wc. EXCLUSIVELY AT THEPHOENIX.COM Online extra/ s cc Fun Footbal] Facts AT THE REQUEST OF THE REST OF NERDS REFER To THE AFc EAST, THE THE SUPER BOWL NFL WILL REQUIRE AS “THE SCRIPPS THE PATRIOTS To NATIONAL PLAY WITH A SPELLING GEE MEDICINE OF FOOTBALL” BALL DURING DIVISION GAMES IN THE 2008 SEASON. PRODUCTS IN EUROPE, “FOOTBALL” MEANS ADVERTISED “SOCCER” AND ““AETFHFLEETTEE ” BRMIETAINSSH | DURING DICK BUGGIN’ OUT FOOTBALL fh MEDICINE BROADCASTS | SHITTY VIDEO | Singer-songwriter Mirah wrote MOVIES FOR STUPID a song cycle entirely about frickin’ bugs. PICKUP TRUCKS PEOPLE 7 Check out thePhoenix.tv for exclusive video of her MFA performance — com- plete with stop-motion animation of FOOTBALL WAS INVENTED BY RENOWNED MATHEMATICIAN WILFORD NORBULOT, FOOTBALL various creepy crawlies. ((Roasy-oneeie ICy THE NFL IS NOW 11% LESS DATE-RAPEY PHOENIX FLASHBACKS | Go to thePhoenix ForetRD Yd, = Awesome! NLEAWU NCCHAIMNPGA IGAN PLUS com/PHLOC for “Flashbacks,” highlights TO ATTRACT from the Phoenix archives. This week, our MORE FEMALE excerpts cover the Sex Pistols’ American debut and the FANS TO electability of George Bush Sr. Plus, a full-length 1983 THE SPORT. report on the Mission of Burma break-up. DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH | In 2005, author Susie Davidson devoted a chapter of I Refused To Die, her book about Boston-area Holocaust survivors, to former Auschwitz inmate Meyer Hack. And it was a harrowing, tragic read Curiously, though, she left out how Hack, imprisoned for years in the camps, had hidden a collection of jewelry he recovered from the Nazis while working in the laundry Psycho Sudoku EhreTtI ON_GO .TCOO M/ RECROOM TorouOorRmsT.e UlRveEWs e TEvMisPiLtAedT E the| At9 2-tyheeaPrh-ooelndi xm.tavn, tow ahtecahr Phhiose nixst ory f executive editor Peter Kadzis interview “Freedom Watch” columnist Harvey Silverglate about a little-known ‘KAKURO’ Connecticut prosecution that could help determine whether Bush administration lawyers obstructed justice by destroying CIA-interrogation tapes Fill in each square with a digit from 1 to 9. The sum of the digits TOP BLOG in each row or column will equal the little number given to the PRAISE FOR ANNE ENRIGHT’S “NATALIE,” FROM left or above it. See the three- THE RECENT NEW YORKER FICTION ISSUE square row in the upper left with We were entranced by how the narrator discovered things about herself through her bad, to worse, to awkwardly a15 toits left? The sum of the forced relationship with the title character. Often, people digits in those three squares will like Natalie can ellicit certain revelations about the type of individual you are, and the type of individual you can be 15, and none of the digits will never be. There is an inherent beauty and free-fall in that SS be the same. A row or column discovery, and that is what the story meant to us. Plus, the photo that the New Yorker chose to accompany the piece ends at a black square, so the was utterly perfect. It evokes the same feelings the story three-square row in the upper- does: loss, desolation, exhilaration, fear, lust, the world middle with a 21 to its left may or at your feet with nothing and everything to lose. Sharon Steel, thePhoenix.com/WordUp may not have digits in common with the 15-row to its left since OTHER BLOGS they’re separated by a black DON’T QUOTE ME © Tracking square. Down columns work the the Metro sale SLOP CULTURE © Wacky same way. Now solve! pictorial fan mail starts to roll in PHLOG ©) Go Pats! OUTSIDE THE FRAME ©) Milkshakes vs. greed USndertwear rUndiergropund club PATORY EVENT. DO NOT SHOW UP lL ESS YOU PLAN TO S OFF. THIS INCLUDES NEWS MEDIA That message, posted on a Facebook event page, must have fur- rowed the brow of many a features writer assigned to cover this past Saturday's “No Pants 2K8” Boston T-Ride. The project, organized by the local arm of the NYC-based group of public pranksters called Improv Everywhere, was as simple as it was pointless: take off your pants and ride the subway in your underwear The Facebook post posed a journalistic quandary they don’t cover in J-school: do you drop trou and get the story or do you chicken out and miss it? Ultimately, I decided on the former tack — partly, yes, for the sake ‘PEOPLE’S of journalism; partly because the event sounded enjoyable As | walked up the Alewife T sta PERCENTAGE BOOFS TPOONT HODLPEW IN 2005 PANTS tion stairs, | was met by a jovial crowd of mostly students and random twen- STARTED tysomethings. The majority were dressed inconspicuously, though a COMING handful did wear suits or costumes Adam Sablich, of Improv Every ME where's Boston chapter, announced TIME AFTER our route — Alewitof Pear k Street, then on to Kenmore, and back — via bullhorn, then divided us into groups WE PULLED of 15 to 20 HAIRY LEGS AND ALL Our reporter reads the paper When our train came, | boarded the above), trying to forget he is pants-less. Below, a INTO DAVIS econd car with Croup Two, and took a passenger averts her eyes; another waits for the green line. idly Asian couple. A 5 1 and I triedt o figouutr wehe n SQUARE. exactly we were supposed to de-pant We decided to take our cues from our am leader, a clean-cut, smiley guy named vas sitting nearby. That settled, I dug throu he time. Needless to say, | retained not ome time after we pulled into Davis Squ , mouthing the words to a Chris Brown song while I wer into my bag, I had an absurd thought that made me laugh ye hilarious if by rted dropping their pants instinctive urse. Instead, they just looked on, wide-eyed and baffled 1in my underwear, | was photographed by not one, but tw ytographers. | felt a little cheated. What happened to the rule about n partici pate? My thoughts were soon interrupted by a conversation betweer i nearby passenger, who commented that what we were doing was “disgustir and asked if this was something “they're doing now.” The cop replied that she thougt was a yearly event. “It’s been peaceful so far,” she added. “Look at all that hair,” the pas senger remarked. To which the cop cracked, “He could use a wax, huh?’ I winced when I realized they were discussing my legs n that guy, though, everybody seemed to get a kick out of us. A few even seemed to have abandoned their own destinations to follow the pants-free crowd. On way back to Alewife, one rider asked if we were protesting something, which seemed t e a popular theory among people wearing pants. We deflected these questions — we'd been told, if pressed, to say things like “I was getting uncomfortable” or “I forgot them Nearing the end of the line, one of my compatriots asked if I'd take a picture of him without pants. “That's the first time anyone has ever asked me that,” I joked. Then I! took his picture My thoughts returning to those fully-clothed photographers, I considered for a mo ment whether | had dropped my pants for naught. | decided this was not the case. What we had done was silly, but you can’t say it was without interesting results. Cone for a few hours was the dreary humdrum of commuting. In its place a weird, unscripted, I'm undefeated in three marriages exciting alternative. Note to self: consider a leg wax soon lan Sands Sir Edmund Hillary, who died January 11, 2008 Thought for Food Youth.com A MILLION WORDS FOR RICE Frontline online If you're going to waste progress to the realm of the unfa- The Internet can be terrifying. For parents who don’t know what goes your time (or your com- miliar — for example, “caprine”: on online, and those who do but can’t control what their kids do there, pany’s time) online, stop a) inactive; b) goat-like; c) am the baleful tone of the Frontline special “Growing Up Online” (WCBH, thinking about porn or biguous; d) downhearted. Tuesday at 9 pm) is sure to be scary. poker and do something Often, you can guess cor- Kids today! The first generation to grow up with the World Wide constructive. The Free rectly just by matching the Web at their fingertips, they spend hours upon hours online. They text Rice Web site (freerice. parts of speech — “inanition”: and IM with the freneticism of caffeinated gerbils. They hang out on com) lets you sharpen eCa i tad a) mute; b) gown; c) emptiness; MySpace and Facebook the way past generations used to loiter in the your vocabulary and feed eCda y da) tidbit — which gives gram- Cumby’s parking lot. the world’s hungry. The retry marians and Latin scholars an In the classroom, teachers embrace multimedia, trying to get (totally) nonprofit site fod edge, but there’s no shortage of through to their media-besotted students. “We can’t possibly expect the presents you with an ad- math and science terms to even learner of today to be engrossed by someone who speaks in a monotone dictive SAT-style vocab things out. voice with a piece of chalk in their hand,” says one principal. “We almost test. Using money from Free Rice has been around have to be entertainers.” (Wise to the fact that hordes of students rely their sponsors, whose since this past October, and as of on the crib resource sparknotes.com, they also require pupils to submit (largely unnoticed) ads New Year’s had donated enough homework via turnitin.com, an online plagiarism-detection service.) rotate along the bottom of enly), so you can pretty much follow rice to feed 50,000 people for one No question, the Internet’s omnipresence in teens’ lives — never the Web page, Free Rice donates 20 your instincts and advance through day — apportion that as you will. If you mind some kids’ debilitating addiction to it — can be startling. One grains of rice to the United Nations the site’s 50 levels of difficulty. (Free need further incentive to play (or need remarkable sequence of events spotlighted in this film takes place at World Food Programme (WFP, at Rice claims most people never get be- a good excuse if your boss catches you a New Jersey high school, where a beef between catty cliques that had wfp.org) every time you answer cor- yond 48 — but they do.) If you miss a messing around online), WFP reminds percolated on MySpace eventually erupts into a real-world cafeteria rectly. No, it’s not much per word, question, you drop down a level, but you that each day 25,000 people die brawl. The fight is filmed via cell-phone cameras, and the clips are up but it adds up. nobody subtracts any rice, so you can from hunger. And if guilt does it for loaded to YouTube Unlike a real SAT multiple-choice plug away forever. you, try this: Americans throw out $50 Even scarier are the ways kids quiz, the Free Rice people don’t try The words start out easy with billion worth of food per year. That’s use the vast reach of cyberspace to to fool you with misleading options things like “swaddle”: a) fasten; b) downright “profligate.” 0 N E |N seek solace in self-destructive ways. (“astronomical”: a) huge; b) heav- cite; c) mash; d) wrap in cloth, and Clif Garboden S EVE N We meet one teen whose parents have no idea she’s anorexic. Yet she spends nights posting to eating-dis order message boards, their mem "TOON TIME «°°: bers united in devotion to “The God dess Ana,” comparing notes on how ONLINE. to keep themselves thin And, of course, cyber bullying is horrific. Once upon a time, home WHICH BRINGS THEY FORTIFY INJURIES AND offered refuge, however temporary, US TO TONIGHT’S ALLOW FOR HEALING. THAT'S from schoolyard taunts. Now, the WORD: SCAB. Internet means there’s little escape from harassment and ridicule. Sites such as MySpace are spattered with vicious messages and “hot or not” polls that can be read and re-read by the picked-upon (and scores of his or her classmates) at any hour of the day. No, says one grieving father, the Internet wasn't the cause of his seventh-grade son’s suicide, but it “helped amplify and accelerate the hurt and the pain that he was trying to deal with.” @GTMMA ATB ILO.CROMS As Lauren Collins writes in the most recent New Yorker (in an article about the heartbreaking suicide of MySpace hoax victim Megan Meier), online social lives can be “more mercurial, and perhaps more crucial to 1-18-08 [kids’] sense of status and acceptance” than the ones they live at school. But that’s a two-sided coin. We're also introduced to Jessica, a shy 14 year old who concocted the online identity of “Autumn Edows” a raven-haired goth, posing for provocative (but not pornographic) self portraits. She fast developed a following. When school officials found her site, they freaked. So did her parents, who made her delete every TO DO IN FIRST GRADE BECAUSE photo as they watched. It was crushing. Online, Jessica had been able UNFORTUNATE LAWS PREVENT to gain confidence: “I just became this whole different person. I didn’t THEM FROM WORKING IN feel like myself, but I liked the fact that I didn't feel like myself.” TEXTILE MILLS. Yes, it’s disturbing to think that one in seven kids is solicited online. And it’s depressing to meet the mother who keeps her kids’ Facebook passwords in a sealed envelope so she can access their account should anything ever happen to them But when you hear Frontline intoning gravely that the Internet's ubiq uity “punctured the sense of safety” in one small town, it’s also worth remembering that, for all the danger inherent in it, the opportunities the Web affords — for education, for communication, for self-actualiza tion — are far more profound Mike Miliard $SEarn Extra Money$S$S Deliver the New Verizon Telephone Directories BY MATT TAIBBI Men & Women 18 years and older with insured s)e)aucm =)( e)m eals vehicles are needed to deliver in Boston, Medford, and surrounding areas. We are also looking for office clerks & loaders. Delivery starts about January 16th. Work a minimum of 4 daylight hours per day and get paid within 48 hours upon successful completion of route Call 1-800-979-7978 GRAHAMBO: FIRST BLOOD between the hours of 9:00 a.m. to 5:30p.m. Mon-Fri. Yeah, that’s what they used to call Refer to Job# 3700E EOE him in these parts — or at least Tom Distribution of Verizon Yellow Pages are conducted on behalf of Brady did, back when Daniel Graham \dearc Media Corp., the official publisher of Verizon print directories was a genial, mildly underperforming first-round draft choice. A big, physi- cal player who never became the pass- 1RON HORSE ENTERTA catching Ben Coates clone everyone hoped for, Graham instead turned into a “great blocking tight end,” which is NFL-ese for “stone-fingered in the flat.’ Graham was a fixture on two champi- onship teams and even made a couple of key plays in those runs, most notably a big down-the-seam catch in Super Bowl XXXVIII that, characteristically, he nearly turned into a disaster by coughing up the ball as he was tackled. He left New England on the Damien Woody/Ty Law/Deion Branch/Asante Samuel (soon) express, becoming one of a number of Pats who got their rings here and then went on to chase the big money wearing different-colored unis. In Graham’s case, he at least left HANDS OF STONE Ar are catch by former Pats tight end Daniel Graham in 2004. New England to go to Denver, where Graham, now a Bronco, was charged with misdemeanor harassment and criminal his father played in his NFL days and mischief for refusing to leave his ex-girlfriend’s home. where Graham himself grew up. Like MTDNA a § most of those departing Pats, his post-New England individual perfor he might even lead us to six or seven team before they got arrested, as the mance ended up being a disappoint wins some day Patriots continue to be one of the most AT THE SOMERVILLE THEATRE 55 DAVIS SQUARE SOMERVILLE, MA ment — he had 24 catches this year for So what happened to Stephens after arrest-free franchises in sports. a team that sucked almost as badly as the NFL? Well, among other things, the Dolphins he got arrested in 1994 for carrying a FIRST IN BLUNT 617.931.2000 ticketmaster Now Craham has got a sheet. This concealed weapon in Florida, a run We've had a few more weed/blunt ar- past Friday, cops were called to the of-the-mill Desert Eagle .5o-cal hand rests lately — there was a surprising home of his ex-girlfriend, from whence gun-tucked-on-the-floorboard arrest deficiency for a while, though I believe Craham apparently refused to leave Earlier that same year, there was a rape it was really a diagnostic problem more The ex, who is also the mother of his charge involving a woman in a Kansas than anything else, with police not child, told police he had damaged City hotel (in fact, this charge led to his knowing the difference between a joint a bedpost and had refused repeated release from his last team, the Chiefs and a blunt. Well, they sure know now, | Restaurants requests to leave following an argu He was convicted of sexual assault as a pair of Tennessee Volunteers foot- ment about the sale of the house rather than the original charge of rape ball players named Gerald Jones and The Broncs had a brutal year on in 1996, and was required to serve five Ahmad Paige got arrested for smoking by cuisine, and off the field. They had two players years’ probation, as well as register as a up a potential recruit this past week. die — cornerback Darrent Williams in sex offender. That leads us to today: in Police noticed the smell of smoke com- or by location. a shooting and running back Damien 2007, Stephens became a fugitive whe ing from their car after the duo was Nash from a heart attack — and he failed to update his sex-offender reg pulled over for a burned-out tag light then they suffered through a series istration with authorities in East Texas Police then reportedly found one haif- of arrests. Before he got waived, and western Louisiana. But finally smoked “marijuana cigar” in the front Movies wideout David (“Circus”) Kircus was toward the middle of December, he was seat along with an un-smoked marijuana popped for punching someone at a apprehended in Greenwood, Louisiana, cigar. One of two back-seat passengers, by title, party. Brandon Marshall, one of the and now will face failure-to-register Jameel Owens, was a potential football by theatre, few bright spots on the field, got a charges in the Lone Star state recruit looking at the campus. or by art film, DUI. Third-string quarterback Darrell So add Stephens, Graham, and The two Vols got simple posses- Hackney got arrested on a series of Sauerbrun to the list of ex-Pats who've sion charges, and the passengers were driving infractions in early December been in bracelets recently — a list that released. © Now there’s Craham, as well as also includes Chad Eaton (investiga Dance punter Todd Sauerbrun, another New tion of domestic violence), Ted Johnson When he’s not googling “house arrest” England-to-Denver transplant, who got domestic violence), and punter-for-a and “unwelcome ex-Patriots,” Matt Taibbi by “look at them dance” cut by the Broncos after being arrested minute Danny Baugher (punching his writes for Rolling Stone. He can be reached for a fight. Graham and Sauerbrun dad). It’s notable that all were off the at [email protected] or “look at me I'm dancing!” join a surprisingly long list of former Patriots who have been arrested in recent times, including our next (over THE TALLY FOR THIS YEAR looked) subject REGISTER NOW! JiM LEVRITZ (EX-YANKEES) | DUI manslaughter | 90 Anyone remember John Stephens? Big, JOHN STEPHENS (EX-PATRIOTS) | sex-assault fugitive | 48 TPHE H— Y con bruising running back from Louisiana's DAVID CORNACCHIA (FLA. EVERBLADES) | mid-flight assault, head-butting bystand- Northwestern State University, who ers, exposing wine-shrunken wiener | 46 came into the league during the dark DANIEL GRAHAM (BRONCOS) | ambiguous domestic-violence beef; hit a bedpost | 30 THE ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT AUTHORITY days of the late "80s and early ’90s and GERALD JONES AND AHMAD PAIGE (TENNESSEE) | Cheech and Chong/Up in Smoke briefly looked like he was going to be impersonation, while in car |1 2 a star? Some of the more pathetic Pats DEMARCUS GRANGER (OKLAHOMA) | stealing winter coat — in Arizona| TN fans among us thought we had the SHAUN WHITE (X-TREME SPORTS) | spraying fire extinguisher, acting like the little next Eric Dickerson or something on douchebag he is | our hands during his rookie year — that