T The Book of h e When you were a kid, did your mother B B a d o tell you to stop picking your nose? o do you wonder what’s so awful about k chewing with your mouth open? have o h a b i t s you thought about whether or not f it’s okay to pee in the shower? if you B answered yes to any of these questions, a d The Book of Bad haBiTs is for you. for Young (and Not so Young!) overflowing with comprehensive dos h a Men and Women and don’ts, self-discovery quizzes, B and real-life facts that will blow i T you away, it’s your one-stop shop for s the habits everyone loves to hate. B i g B o how to Chuck the Worst o and Turn the rest to Your advantage k P r e s Hawkins and Laube, M.D. s THE  BOOK  OF   Bad  Habits ALSO  BY  BIG  BOOK  PRESS     The  Boy’s  Body  Guide     The  Boy’s  Fitness  Guide THE  BOOK  OF   Bad  Habits             Frank  C.  Hawkins   and   Greta  L.B.  Laube,  M.D.       Illustrated  by  Rich  Hong                   Big  Book  Press Copyright  ©  2010  by  Big  Book  Press   Illustrations  copyright  ©  2010  by  Richard  Hong     All  rights  reserved.   Published  in  the  United  States  by  Big  Book  Press.     www.bigbookpress.com     The  book  of  bad  habits  /  by  Frank  C.  Hawkins  and   Greta  L.B.  Laube,  M.D.   1.  Health  &  Daily  Living  –  Juvenile  Nonfiction.  2.   Personal  Growth  –  Self-­‐Help.  3.  Social  Issues  –   Juvenile  Nonfiction.  4.  Humor  –  Juvenile  Nonfiction.     Big  Book  Press  and  colophon  are  registered   trademarks  of  Big  Book  Press.     Library  of  Congress  Control  Number:  2010926524   p-­‐book  ISBN  978-­‐0-­‐9793219-­‐3-­‐1   e-­‐book  ISBN  978-­‐0-­‐9793219-­‐4-­‐8     First  edition  printed  in  the  United  States  of  America CONTENTS   Introduction..................................................................vii   Picking  Your  Nose.........................................................1   Belching.............................................................................4   Farting................................................................................7   Grabbing  Your  Crotch...............................................11   Peeing  in  the  Shower................................................14   Being  a  Slob...................................................................16   Chewing  With  Your  Mouth  Open.........................19   Spitting............................................................................23   Swearing.........................................................................27   Fidgeting........................................................................31   Cracking  Your  Knuckles...........................................34   Picking  Your  Butt........................................................37   Missing  the  Toilet.......................................................40   Not  Washing  Up..........................................................44   Peeing  Outdoors.........................................................48   Throwing  Gum  on  the  Sidewalk...........................51   Not  Wearing  Deodorant..........................................53   Peeing  in  the  Pool.......................................................55   Walking  With  Your  Back  to  Traffic.....................58   Eating⎯Eating⎯Eating..........................................61   Not  Opening  Doors  for  Others..............................64   Losing  Your  Temper..................................................68 vi     Calling  People  Names...............................................71   Bragging.........................................................................74   Complaining..................................................................77   Being  a  Know-­‐It-­‐All...................................................79   Not  Listening................................................................82   Littering..........................................................................85   Lying................................................................................88   Cheating..........................................................................92   Stealing...........................................................................94   Feeling  Sorry  for  Yourself.......................................96   Smoking..........................................................................99   Drinking.......................................................................102   Taking  Drugs.............................................................104   Being  Late...................................................................109   Saying  No  to  Everything.......................................112   Being  Jealous.............................................................114   Playing  With  Guns...................................................117   Wasting  Energy........................................................120   Being  Critical.............................................................123   Arguing........................................................................125   Being  a  Bully..............................................................128   Biting  Your  Nails......................................................132 INTRODUCTION  |  FRANK C. HAWKINS There   are   people   who   claim   they   understand   the   dos   and   don’ts   of   social   behavior.   Not   you   or   me,   obviously,   but   prim   and   proper   people,   expert   in   those   sorts   of   things,   who   spend   their   lives   considering  under  what  circumstances  it’s   okay  to  eat  French  fries  with  your  fingers.   Then  there  are  the  rest  of  us.  While  not   the  experts,  we  each  have  opinions  of  what   is  and  what  isn’t  socially  acceptable.  If  you   don’t  believe  me,  just  ask  any  two  people   you  know  whether  it’s  okay  to  spit  on  the   sidewalk.   You’ll   get   an   answer   for   sure— probably   conflicting⎯but   you’ll   get   one   nonetheless.   Regrettably,   people   don’t   agree.  Not  even  the  experts.   So,   what   is   a   bad   habit   you   ask?   Let’s   start   with   the   word   bad,   which   means   “unwelcome  or  unpleasant.”  Next,  the  word   habit,   which   means   a   “regular   practice   or   tendency.”  A  bad  habit,  then,  would  be  the   regular   practice   or   tendency   of   saying   or   doing  something  unwelcome  or  unpleasant.   That   definition   seems   straightforward   enough.   But,   on   further   examination,   it’s viii   anything  but.  The  difficulty  comes  when  we   try   to   distinguish   regular   from   irregular,   welcome   from   unwelcome.   If   your   action   offends   or   puts   the   health   and   welfare   of   you  or  someone  else  at  risk,  it  likely  will  be   judged  as  unwelcome  and  out  of  the  norm— bad,   that   is.   Farting   in   the   elevator   is   offensive,  but  it’s  not  going  to  harm  anyone.   Smoking   a   pack   of   cigarettes   a   day,   however,   is   another   story.   Both   are   bad   habits.   Some   bad   habits   make   people   laugh.   Belching  the  ABCs  for  your  friends  is  funny   because   it   breaks—or   at   least   bends—the   rules   of   acceptable   social   behavior.   It’s   good   to   remember,   though,   that   every   action   has   consequences   good   and   bad.   Belching  for  your  friends  and  belching  in  a   job   interview   are   not   the   same—unless   you’re  auditioning  for  a  spot  in  an  antacid   commercial.   You   need   to   know   when   and   where   society   draws   the   line   between   what’s  acceptable  and  what’s  not.     That’s  where  this  book  comes  in.  It  may   come  as  a  surprise,  but  we’re  not  going  to   tell  you  to  stop  all  your  bad  habits.  Some   are   too   fundamentally   satisfying   to   be ix   stopped   altogether   even   though   they   may   annoy  someone.  On  the  other  side  of  that   coin  are  those  habits  that  can  hurt  others  or   make  them  sick.  You  should  stop  them  for   the  benefit  of  society  as  a  whole.   Now,  let’s  take  a  look  at  a  few  of  our  bad   habits—the  things  we  do  that  are  at  once   appealing   and   repulsive,   satisfying   and   disgusting,  celebrated  and  reviled.