title: The Anger Workbook author: Bilodeau, Lorrainne. publisher: Hazelden Publishing isbn10 | asin: 1568380542 print isbn13: 9781568380544 ebook isbn13: 9780585195896 language: English subject Anger, Anger--Case studies, Anger. publication date: 1992 lcc: BF575.A5B55 1992eb ddc: 152.4/7 subject: Anger, Anger--Case studies, Anger. Page i The Anger Workbook Lorrainne Bilodeau, M.S. HAZELDEN® INFORMATION & EDUCATIONAL SERVICES Page ii Hazelden Center City, Minnesota 55012-1076 ©1992 by Lorraine Bilodeau. All rights reserved. First published by Hazelden Foundation 1994 (originally published by CompCare Publishers 1992). Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher. ISBN: 1-56838-054-2 Page iii To Mike and Elaine, two friends who were the victims of anger gone awry. Page v Contents Author's Note Chapter One Investigating Personal Attitudes about Anger 1 What Your Answers Show about Attitudes 8 Chapter Two 15 Taking a New Perspective on Anger Anger Is a Feeling 16 Anger Is Not a Gigantic Mistake 17 Chapter Three Acknowledging the Complexities of Anger 25 An Emotion Is Only One Element of a Process 25 How Anger Fits into the Process 29 Chapter Four Understanding How Anger Goes Awry 37 How Emotions Become Distorted 37 Research about Destructive Anger 41 How Anger Becomes Destructive 42 Page vi Chapter Five Changing Your Experience of Anger 53 Relaxation 54 Emotions 55 Thoughts 71 Behaviors 82 Chapter Six Responding to Another Person's Anger 89 Interrupting Expectations 93 Listening and Clarifying 94 Notes 99 Bibliography 103 About the Author 105 Journal Pages 107 Page vii This guide is not meant to supplant professional counseling or therapy. If you have destructive thoughts about yourself or someone else, seek professional advice. Page ix Author's Note The other evening I was sitting with some friends when the topic turned to self-help books. As I expounded rather negatively on the subject, I noticed that my friends were staring at me with puzzled, curious looks on their faces. The light bulb went on, and I blurted out, "God forgive me! I have written a self-help book." Well, that's the truthalthough I do need to warn you: it is an informational manual. You will not find soothing phrases that seem immediately to elevate your mood. You won't find easy answers. And you won't find a whole new you. You will find serious information that explains anger and its uses. You will find a new perspective that, along with a great deal of effort and honesty in working the exercises, will help you change the way you experience and use anger. There are many people I would like to blame for this overwhelming endeavor. Instead I will do the polite, socially acceptable thing and say thanks to the following: Ray Matheson, who in 1982 asked me to do a workshop for professionals entitled, "Working with the Angry Client." It was the first time I had to present my ideas about anger in an orderly, understandable fashion. I never suspected what would emerge from that first workshop. Ed Kavanaugh, Mindy Burgin-Debyshire, and Phyllis T. McCafferty, who all took a risk to facilitate the "Encountering Anger" Clinic, which put the theories of this manual to use. Dan Scott, Susie Sheppard, Eric Van Quill, and Mary Netsley (the counselors at Richmond Aftercare), who not only put up with me, but supported and laughed with me through my periods of anxiety, elation, and irritability. Ruthy Kossove, who went out of her way to supply an essential piece of reference material. And special thanks to Carole Sutton, who said, "Write a manual. It's easier than a book." (I really think it's the last time she'll utter those words.) Her kindness, encouragement, and laughter kept me going. Page x Hazelden Publishing and Education is a division of the Hazelden Foundation, a not-for-profit organization. Since 1949, Hazelden has been a leader in promoting the dignity and treatment of people afflicted with the disease of chemical dependency. The mission of the foundation is to improve the quality of life for individuals, families, and communities by providing a national continuum of information, education, and recovery services that are widely accessible; to advance the field through research and training; and to improve our quality and effectiveness through continuous improvement and innovation. Stemming from that, the mission of the publishing division is to provide quality information and support to people wherever they may be in their personal journeyfrom education and early intervention, through treatment and recovery, to personal and spiritual growth. 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