THE ALIEN INVASION SURVIVAL HANDBOOK A DEFENSE MANUAL FOR THE COMING EXTRATERRESTRIAL APOCALYPSE W.H. MUMFREY The Alien Invasion Survival Handbook © 2009 by Grant Murray. Manufactured in the United States of America. All rights reserved. No other part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review. Published by HOW Books, an imprint of F+W Media, Inc., 4700 East Galbraith Road, Cincinnati, Ohio 45236. (800) 289-0963. First edition. For more fine books from F+W Media, visit www.fwmedia.com. 13 12 11 10 09 5 4 3 2 1 Distributed in Canada by Fraser Direct, 100 Armstrong Avenue, Georgetown, Ontario, Canada L7G 5S4, Tel: (905) 877-4411. Distributed in the U.K. and Europe by David & Charles Brunel House, Newton Abbot, Devon, TQ12 4PU, England, Tel: (+44) 1626-323200, Fax: (+44) 1626-323319, E-mail: [email protected]. Distributed in Australia by Capricorn Link, P.O. Box 704, Windsor, NSW 2756 Australia, Tel: (02) 4577-3555 Library of Congress Cataloging in-Publication Data Mumfrey, W. H. The alien invasion survival handbook: a defense manual for the coming extraterrestrial apocalypse / by W.H. Mumfrey. p. cm. Includes index. ISBN 978-1-60061-162-9 (pbk. : alk. paper) ISBN 13: 978-1-44030-788-1 (EPUB) 1. Extraterrestrial beings — Humor. I. Title. PN6231.E97M86 2009 818'.607 — dc22 2008040999 Edited by Lauren Mosko and Scott Francis Designed by Claudean Wheeler Illustrations by Ben Patrick Production coordinated by Greg Nock This book is dedicated to ADAM LAMPE, whose courage during repeated alien abductions is a true inspiration to humanity. I would like to offer my sincere thanks to the numerous people who have offered their support and dedicated their valuable time to this project, including Sara Crowe, Lauren Mosko, Amy Schell, Ben Patrick and countless others who have contributed by way of research or involvement in one of the numerous surveys. TABLE OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTION CHAPTER 1: Know Your Enemy CHAPTER 2: Defense CHAPTER 3: Escape CHAPTER 4: Attack CHAPTER 5: Invasion APPENDIX A: A Brief History of Resistance APPENDIX B: References & Resources APPENDIX C: Alien Encounter Logbook INTRODUCTION Since aliens first raised their grotesque heads in H.G. Wells's 1898 novel, The War of the Worlds, we have known that when they come, it will not be in peace. And despite the valiant efforts of Hollywood producers, we know that they will not be the benevolent beings so lovingly portrayed in some movies. Their mission won't be to guide us to a higher level of consciousness or to solve our environmental woes. Many believe that aliens are already here and have, since the dawn of civilization, been inexorably pursing a secret agenda, destroying the lives of people around the world through a regime of abduction and intimidation. Indifferent to our concept of human rights, they have systematically exploited, probed, and violated us — and we are powerless to resist them. It is time to say enough is enough. We will no longer passively offer ourselves as their intergalactic lab rats. We must take action. This book is designed to prepare you for the battle of your life. But how can we possibly fight an enemy that is so ruthlessly efficient, cunningly elusive, and technologically advanced? This book provides you with the answers. In it, you will find the complete step-by-step guide to combating the extraterrestrial menace in day-to-day situations. Want to know how to block alien mind control? Escape from an alien spacecraft? Survive in the vacuum of space? Stave off an alien attack with household appliances? Locate and destroy alien implants? It's all here. Compiled from genuine field research by our network of international experts, the advice offered in this book has been tried and tested during real-life extraterrestrial encounters. Whether you have yet to encounter an alien or you have been the victim of repeated abductions, this book will provide you with all the necessary skills to defeat these nefarious adversaries and regain control of your life. It will be the only book you want in your back pocket when what if? becomes what the hell is that? For those of you who think this is all make-believe or just some elaborate hoax designed by bespectacled nerds to fill their time between Star Trek conventions, think again. Please answer the following important questions before proceeding any further with this book. ABDUCTION ASSESSMENT Have you ever: Had the feeling that you were being watched? Lost or misplaced common household items, such as TV remote controls, pens, or single socks? Seen unusual lights in the sky? Discovered mysterious scars on your body that you could not explain? Experienced a “lost” period of time (e.g., while driving your car) in which you didn't know where you were or what you had just done over the preceding minutes? Felt the sensation of flying while asleep? Awoken with a sudden jolt from a deep sleep? Woken up with a sense of a strange person or presence in the room? Experienced tenderness or soreness in any part of your body without knowing why? Felt anxious or agitated for no apparent reason? Had feelings of disbelief about aliens or UFOs? If you have answered yes to three or more of these questions, you have probably been abducted by aliens at some time in your life. Do not be alarmed. You are not the only one. A study by the U.S. based Roper Organization concluded, “one out of every fifty adult Americans may have had UFO abduction experiences.”