All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com ::: 1 ::: All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2007 MeetYourSweet.com No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted or distributed in any form or by any means, electrical or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system without permission in writing from MeetYourSweet. com. The information contained in this book is provided as is without warranty of any kind. The entire risk as to the results and the performance of the information is assumed by the user, and in no event shall MeetYourSweet.com be liable for any consequential, incidental or direct damages suffered in the course of using the information in this book. What is Meet Your Sweet? Your new life starts today. With MeetYourSweet.com, you get the ultimate toolkit to creating the success you crave in Life and Relationships. We know that you’ve got the smarts to take care of most areas of your life. So why should dating and relationships be any different? That’s why we here at MeetYourSweet.com take a life coach’s perspective to romance. We don’t want to give you a paint-by-numbers program or dumb down what it takes to master REAL success. Rather, our goal is to empower you by giving you the life skills that you need to achieve a complete personal and social transformation… …the kind that will have you feeling confident, secure, desirable, and powerful, no matter what challenge you face! We’ve done the research, and we know what works. Our non-manipulative approach harnesses capacities that everyone has within them. Whether you’re male or female, young or old, single or in a relationship, we can help you become the absolute best you can be at relating with the opposite sex. Just imagine it. Gone are the days of struggling to get a date. Gone are the days of struggling to keep someone attracted. Gone are the days of worrying about whether you’re good-looking enough, popular enough, or captivating enough to get attention from the opposite sex! With MeetYourSweet.com, you get expert advice from a team of the world’s greatest writers, life coaches, and counselors in the field of dating and relationships. Every Meet Your Sweet course includes collaborations with top names in the field. Our team of contributing authors includes our very own Slade Shaw and Mia Summers, as well as Amy Waterman from 000Relationships.com and Andrew Rusbatch from SaveMyMarriageToday.com. So kickstart your personal and social transformation with MeetYourSweet.com. We look forward to hearing how our courses have changed YOU! All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com ::: 2 ::: Contents Introduction 9 What Is Supreme Self-Confidence? 11 Personal Confidence 13 Self-Awareness 14 Create a Plan of Action 15 Journaling 15 Worry Time 15 Don’t Do This 16 Focus on the Now 16 A Quiet Mind 17 It’s All Up to You 17 What Happened to Anne 18 Self-Doubt and Being to Stick with Decisions 20 Making Decisions is a Process 20 How to Feel More Comfortable Making Decisions 21 Making Good Decisions 23 Feeling Comfortable with Your Decisions 25 What Happened to Jonathon 26 Significant Life Event 27 Be Kind to Yourself 27 Share Your Feelings 27 Seek Help 27 Reframe the Experience: From Failure to Opportunity 28 What Happened to Kevin 29 Getting Angry At Yourself 30 Why Self-Confidence Isn’t About Succeeding 30 Winning in the Game of Life 31 Be Kind to Yourself 33 What Happened to Sarah 34 All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com ::: 3 ::: Depending Too Much on Other People’s Approval 35 Why We Care About What Other People Think 35 Walk in Someone Else’s Shoes 36 Making Criticism Work to Your Advantage 38 What Happened to Janie 41 Feeling Helpless 42 The Law of Attraction 42 Focus on What You Can Control 43 Forget About the Fear 44 What Happened to Sam 45 How Do I Become More Personally Confident TODAY? 46 Personal Confidence Review 46 Personal Confidence Challenge 47 Personal Confidence Goals 48 Social Confidence 49 Why People Lack Social Confidence 49 Social Identity and Life Direction 51 Life Coaching 52 Emotive Responses 52 Demonstrating Social Awareness 54 Dressing to Impress 57 Making Conversation 59 Reading Non-Verbal Signals 60 Conversation Routines 61 Keeping Conversation Flowing 62 Embarrassing Social Situations 64 What Happened To Alex? 65 Learning to Laugh 65 All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com ::: 4 ::: Overcoming Shyness 67 What is Shyness? 67 Being Shy Doesn’t Mean You Have Low Self-Esteem 69 Being Shy Doesn’t Mean You Don’t Like People 70 Your Shyness Makes Others Shy 72 Shyness Solutions 73 What Doesn’t Work: Alcohol 73 Jumping Off the Deep End 74 Techniques for Small Talk 75 Controlling Nervousness 77 Visualization 78 Self-Hypnosis 79 How Do I Become More Socially Confident TODAY? 80 Social Confidence Review 80 Social Confidence Challenge 82 Social Confidence Goals 83 Professional Confidence 84 Work and Self-Confidence 84 When You’re at Work, You’re on a Different Planet 84 Confidence Outside of Work Doesn’t Mean Confidence At Work 85 The Stressors that Target You and Your Self-Confidence 86 Why Work Stresses Affect Your Self-Confidence 86 Choose Your Own Response 87 Disassociate Yourself from Results 92 What to Do in a High-Pressure Situation 94 Preparation is the Key 95 Set Your Own Standards for Professional Value by Valuing Yourself 97 I’m Just Not Worth That Much! 97 How to Stop Undervaluing Yourself 99 Stand Up to the Inner Critic 100 All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com ::: 5 ::: Success and Failure: Why Taking Risks is Worth the Effort 101 How Do I Become More Professionally Confident TODAY? 105 Professional Confidence Review 105 Professional Confidence Challenge 106 Sexual Confidence 108 Why People Lack Sexual Confidence 109 What Doesn’t Work: Comparing Yourself to Others 109 What Doesn’t Work: Spending Money 110 Sexual Confidence Comes from Self-Knowledge 110 The Path to Greater Sexual Confidence 112 Breaking Old Habits that Sabotage Your Sexual Confidence 114 Break Your Fear of Rejection 115 What Happened to Cody 116 Unleash Your Sexual Energy 119 Masculinity and Femininity: The Keys to Attraction 119 For Men: Unleashing Your Masculine Self 121 For Men: 10 Tips to Become More Attractive to Women 123 For Women: Unleashing Your Feminine Self 125 For Women: 10 Tips to Become More Attractive to Men 127 Become Sexually Confident in Dating 130 Who Should I Be Interested In? Selecting a Potential Mate 130 Meeting and Approaching Someone New 134 How to Ignite Attraction 136 Be on the Same Wavelength 136 Flirting 137 Be Alone Together 138 Don’t Just Talk 138 All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com ::: 6 ::: Nonsexual Touch 138 Dating: The “Real You” Emerges 139 From Commitment to Relationship and Beyond 142 1. Clinginess and the “She’s Turning Into Me!” Phenomenon 142 2. Love interest on the scene: life goes on hold 143 3. Do you love me? Do you love me yet? Do you love me now? How about now? 143 4. The Best Mindset to Have 145 5. Ways to Deepen Your Connection in a Relationship 146 How Do I Become More Sexually Confident TODAY? 148 Sexual Confidence Review 148 Sexual Confidence Challenge 150 Sexual Confidence Goals 151 Concrete Confidence-Building Techniques 152 Stress: How It Affects Your Confidence and What to Do About It 153 A Quick Introduction to Stress 155 Physical Relaxation Techniques 159 Controlled Breathing 159 Progressive Muscular Relaxation 160 Mental Relaxation Techniques 161 Visualization 162 Meditation 163 Setting Goals: Why It’s Important and How to Do It 167 Setting SMART Goals 168 Specific 168 Measurable 169 Achievable 170 Realistic 170 Timely 171 What Is a SWOT Analysis? 172 How to Fill Out a SWOT Analysis 173 Strengths 173 Weaknesses 173 Opportunities 173 Threats 174 All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com ::: 7 ::: What to Do with the End Result 174 Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: 175 Changing Your Thoughts to Increase Your Confidence 175 Benefits of Volunteering 177 What’s Involved in Volunteer Work 178 Deciding What Type of Volunteer Work Suits You Best 179 Where to Start Looking 179 How Do I Become More Confident TODAY? 181 Confidence Techniques Review 181 Confidence Techniques Challenge 182 Best of Luck… 183 Classic Confidence-Building Resources 184 All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com ::: 8 ::: Introduction A lack of self confidence has a tremendous negative impact on your life. When you lack self confidence, you’re compromising your career, your friendships, your relationships, your social life in general, and your life overall. Self confidence is absolutely central to getting ahead in life – and I’m not just talking about tangible accomplishments like getting that pay rise, promotion, or beautiful partner. I’m also talking about the intangibles that make life worth living, like the ability to relax … the ability to feel secure … the ability to simply like and appreciate yourself. After all, it’s difficult to enjoy life when you’re always questioning your own talents and doubting your abilities! True self confidence doesn’t stem from achievements. It doesn’t stem from winning awards. It doesn’t stem from receiving compliments. It all starts from a belief in yourself and your own, innate talents and abilities. Not what other people say; not how you’ve reacted to situations in the past; and not the outcomes of those situations. It’s self belief. And that is exactly what I’m going to help you to attain. My name is Slade Shaw, and I’m here to help you achieve Supreme Self-Confidence by taking a look at the skills you ALREADY possess … and showing you a new way of thinking and acting that will lead to a greater feeling of confidence than you have ever known. If you feel competent and capable in just one thing, then you can enjoy that same feeling in ANY activity you embark upon! Imagine … feeling 100% confident in your ability to enjoy a relaxed first date, make a difficult presentation, interview for a job, socialize at a party, or learn a new skill. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never been able to feel confident in those situations before. The techniques and ideas that I am going to teach you will help you build a feeling of confidence that will NEVER leave you, no matter what situation you’re in or what’s required of you! All Rights Reserved (c) 2007 MeetYourSweet.com ::: 9 :::