Stark Raving Ad A GIDDY GUIDE TO INDIAN ADS YOU LOVE (OR HATE) RITU SINGH First published in India in 2018 by Hachette India (Registered name: Hachette Book Publishing India Pvt. Ltd) An Hachette UK company www.hachetteindia.com Copyright © 2018 Ritu Singh Ritu Singh asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work Cover image: Wolfgang Krodel, Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, 1543, Oil on panel, courtesy Wikimedia Commons Cover design by Sukruti Anah Staneley All rights reserved. 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Ltd 4th & 5th Floors, Corporate Centre, Plot No. 94, Sector 44, Gurugram - 122003, India Originally typeset in High Tower Text 11.5/15.4 by Manmohan Kumar, Delhi For Papa, Mummy. For Avni, Nagesh. Contents PREMUMBLE THE VERY FIRST APPLE AD The Eve of Advertising ONES UPON A TIME Ad-ing Up the Years CHADDI PEHAN KE FOOL KHILA HAI Bawdy, Shoddy Happenings CHARACTER LOOSE Mascots at Large THOO-THOO, MAIN-MAIN Brands Fight Thooth ‘n’ Nail LINGO DANCE, LINGO DANCE Desi Ad Talk BADALNE KI AAG Agents of Change MUMMY BADNAAM HUI Targeting Character Roles BTM Brandjis Turned Modern DIGITAL, WIDGETAL AND APP TOH AISE NA THE Cool Tools INCONCLUSIVE Wi-Fi, Sci-Fi, Bheja Fry ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Premumble L ike thousands of advertising hatchlings, I was quite clueless on my first day at work in an ad agency. As I entered the office, nothing could take away from the All-Ye-Who-Enter-These-Hallowed-Portalsof-Advertising chant in my head – not the piglets scuffling through the bullshit at the entrance, not the snot-pickers near the shady (very shady) park across the road, not the absence of any team member till eleven in the morning. No, not even the sight at lunchtime of a senior copywriter wiping his hands on a newspaper after a sumptuous meal of mutton curry and rice eaten with five fine-dining tools. I felt privileged when my creative supervisor sat me down in his gas chamber- like cabin, filled with cigarette smoke and his smoker buddies (not all offices were No Smoking zones then). He started with the Talk. ‘Advertising is a complex business where you have to slog your b**t off to come up with f***ing great communication. But there is an almost magical formula for coming up with ideas. Today, I will share that with you.’ I listened reverentially as he spoke. ‘Great ideas are autobiographical. A really great guy (not me) once said this: Look at the oyster – its autobiography is the pearl. So when you work, go ahead, pull out those insights from your own experiences.’ He leaned forward to make another revelation. Eager to learn more magic formulae, so did I. ‘And always remember,’ he said, ‘every person who has made it big here has at least one divorce behind him or her.’ And that is how agency lessons/conversations have always been – the real mixed with the comic, the truth with the farcical. So it was some decades ago. And so it is now. W hether you are part of advertising and marketing or are looking in from the outside, chances are ads have contributed to your life in some way. Maybe you finally own an anti-dandruff shampoo. Or maybe you now enter house-warming parties, one eyebrow lifted, saying, ‘Wah Sunil Babu, naya ghar…’ Such contribution to our betterment and such takeaways need to be documented. But the Indian advertising landscape is so vast, much of the imagery so memorable, the 30-second-duhs so many and the big ideas so fascinating that you could have a tome if someone wrote about it all. Or you could have a giddy guide. A whistle-stop tour replete with commercials, brands, wars, characters, scandals, insights and other such stuff. All (almost) made in India. And at the heart of it all, business solutions in the guise of disruptive or, at the very least, noticeable communication. After all, ultimately, ads are about businesses feeling needy. Yes, brands need your love (and while you are at it, your wallet too, please). The selections here are intuitive and open-ended. There are some major case studies and some minor ones. There are brand and ad mentions as well as some trivia. Take your pick. Sift for the stuff that makes sense and enjoy the nonsense. A little bird tells me… Before we go any further, let’s grab the massive opportunity social media gives us. Here is a peep into the posts of business heads, creative directors and brand planners. This is what the finest minds in marketing and advertising are thinking and posting on online platforms right now... Sitting in a bar. And can’t help but wonder how many farts are trapped in this cushion? Twain said, ‘It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.’ But at the end of the day, you are a dog, right? The client’s brief is to set the Ganges on fire. And, of course, the brand has no money to light more than a matchstick. What kind of artist am I – always creating Cover Your A*s ad layouts for potato chips? Are most brand conversations happening offline, at the pub? Hmm, need a beer. Junglee Jawaani is running to a packed house in Rahul Talkies. Maybe watching it will give me insights into that audience’s preferences.