cover next page > title: Secrets of Becoming a Late Bloomer : Extraordinary Ordinary People On the Art of Staying Creative, Alive, and Aware in Midlife and Beyond author: Goldman, Connie.; Mahler, Richard. publisher: Hazelden Publishing isbn10 | asin: 1568383703 print isbn13: 9781568383705 ebook isbn13: 9780585271842 language: English subject Aging--Social aspects, Aging--Psychological aspects, Aged--Psychology, Aged--Biography, Retirement. publication date: 2000 lcc: HQ1061.G643 2000eb ddc: 305.26 subject: Aging--Social aspects, Aging--Psychological aspects, Aged--Psychology, Aged--Biography, Retirement. cover next page > < previous page page_i next page > Page i Secrets of Becoming A Late Bloomer < previous page page_i next page > cover next page > title: Secrets of Becoming a Late Bloomer : Extraordinary Ordinary People On the Art of Staying Creative, Alive, and Aware in Midlife and Beyond author: Goldman, Connie.; Mahler, Richard. publisher: Hazelden Publishing isbn10 | asin: 1568383703 print isbn13: 9781568383705 ebook isbn13: 9780585271842 language: English subject Aging--Social aspects, Aging--Psychological aspects, Aged--Psychology, Aged--Biography, Retirement. publication date: 2000 lcc: HQ1061.G643 2000eb ddc: 305.26 subject: Aging--Social aspects, Aging--Psychological aspects, Aged--Psychology, Aged--Biography, Retirement. cover next page > < previous page page_ii next page > Page ii "This fine book reminds us that this land of opportunity extends to the middle and later years of life, when we can still invent new possibilities for ourselves." ROBERT N. BUTLER, MD BROOKDALE PROFESSOR AND CHAIRPERSON DEPARTMENT OF GERIATRICS AND ADULT DEVELOPMENT MOUNT SINAI MEDICAL CENTER "Secrets of Becoming a Late Bloomer is a warm, caring, inspiring book and we who are old can use as much of that as we can get!" EDA LESHAN FAMILY COUNSELOR AND AUTHOR OF It's Better Over the Hill than Under It AND I Want More of Everything "With this brilliant book Connie Goldman and Richard Mahler have given me a rewarding shove, convincing me that I am Eddie "Late Bloomer" Albert. Thank you. This is a valuable book." EDDIE ALBERT ACTOR < previous page page_ii next page > < previous page page_iii next page > Page iii Secrets of Becoming A Late Bloomer Extraordinary Ordinary People on the Art of Staying Creative, Alive, and Aware in Midlife and Beyond Connie Goldman Richard Mahler < previous page page_iii next page > < previous page page_iv next page > Page iv Hazelden Center City, Minnesota 1-800-328-0094 1-651-213-4590 (Fax) www.hazelden.org © 1995 by Connie Goldman and Richard Mahler All rights reserved First published in New Hampshire by Stillpoint Publishing, 1995 First published by Hazelden Foundation, 2000 Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Goldman, Connie. Secrets of becoming a late bloomer : extraordinary ordinary people on the art of staying creative, alive, and aware in midlife and beyond / Connie Goldman and Richard Mahler. p. cm. Originally published: Walpole, NH : Stillpoint, c1995. ISBN 1-56838-370-3 1. AgingSocial aspects. 2. AgingPsychological aspects. 3. AgedPsychology. 4. AgedBiography. 5. Retirement. I. Mahler, Richard. II. Title. HQ1061 G643 2000 305.26dc21 99-057500 Cover design by Pamela Belding 05 04 03 02 01 00 6 5 4 3 2 1 < previous page page_iv next page > < previous page page_v next page > Page v Dedication To my children Dennis, Nancy, and Barry, who will come into midlife at a time when, I am hopeful, our world will under- stand that sixty-five is the speed limit, not the age limit. Connie Goldman For my aunt, Lucie Yeaman, our family's most inspiring role model for creative, positive, and life-affirming aging. Richard Mahler < previous page page_v next page > < previous page page_vii next page > Page vii Contents Foreword by Ken Dychtwald, PH.D. ix Acknowledgments xiii Introduction: Dare to Explore xv One: The Secret of Attitude 1 Two: The Secret of "Who Am I Now?" 26 Three: The Secret of Forgiveness 44 Four: The Secret of Risk Taking 69 Five: The Secret of Action Steps 89 Six: The Secret of Many Happy Returns 113 Seven: The Secret of New Roots 136 Eight: The Secret of Intimacy 160 Nine: The Secret of Health 182 Ten: The Secret of Humor 207 Eleven: The Secret of Creativity 230 Twelve: The Secret of Gardening 251 Thirteen: The Secret of Spirituality 266 Fourteen: Afterthoughts 295 About the Authors 303 < previous page page_vii next page > < previous page page_ix next page > Page ix Foreword In Secrets of Becoming a Late Bloomer, Connie Goldman and Richard Mahler confirm in a striking way what I have believed for some time: we need a brand-new image of aging. That new image must replace yesterday's view of maturity as a period of stagnation and decline with the idea that the latter part of life can be truly exciting and a time of growth, productivity, and newfound pleasuresif we know the secrets of becoming a late bloomer. The good news is more and more people are finding that maturity can be a wonderful period of life. In fact, many older members of society, instead of retiring into the doldrums, are turning their lives around and really making them bloom. In this absolutely delightful book, Connie Goldman and Richard Mahler show us that a new generation of mature men and women are finding ways to make later life truly rewarding. Through the many captivating examples of late blooming from all over the country, we're inspired to begin < previous page page_ix next page > < previous page page_x next page > Page x thinking differently about aging; it can be a much more positive experience than we realize. Some of the people whose stories are revealed in this book, like Gray Panthers founder Maggie Kuhn and late actress Jessica Tandy, are extraordinary people who continued to blossom in their later years. Others are ordinary peoplethe kind of individuals you may encounter at the supermarket or doctor's officewho have broken through their previous life patterns to accomplish extraordinary things in their maturity. They are single, married, or widowed; they live in apartments, cottages, condos, campers, retirement communities, traditional single-family dwellings, and non-traditional group homes. They do all sort of things, from making music to growing vegetables, from acting and modeling to writing and teaching, from becoming social activists to starting their own businesses. They are people who've made up their minds how they want to live their later lives and who have found the courage to plunge into activities that are entirely new. Many have made up their minds to try out new lifestyles that they've always wanted to explore. How have these late bloomers managed to make such a rousing success of what used to be thought of as "retirement years"? That's the question Connie and Richard explore in these pages, and you'll be thrilled by what these stories reveal about the potential that each of us has for continued growth and development after youth. Those who find later life rewarding have grasped the truth that to find their particular niche they must begin by addressing important aspects of life, such as health, humor, creativity, spirituality, and intimacy. They realize at some point in their quest of the most fulfilling way to live the latter < previous page page_x next page >