“I Have Something to Tell You”: The Importance of Articulation of Acknowledgment and Admission and the Life Journey A Meditation and Commentary on Psalm 32 A Professional Project Presented to the Faculty Claremont School of Theology In Partial Fulfillment Of the Requirements for the Degree of Doctor of Ministry By Joseph Baruch Sacks May 2010 @2010 Joseph Baruch Sacks ALL RIGHTS RESERVED This professional project completed by Joseph Baruch Sacks has been presented to and accepted by the faculty of Claremont School of Theology in partial fulfillment of the requirements of the Doctor of Ministry Faculty Committee Marvin A. Sweeney, Chairperson Tammi Schneider Dean of the Faculty Susan L. Nelson May 2010 ABSTRACT “I Have Something to Tell You”: The Importance of Articulation of Acknowledgment and Admission and the Life Journey A Meditation and Commentary on Psalm 32 by Joseph Baruch Sacks This project finds the growing neglect of Psalms, within the Jewish community for personal reflection, communal study or personal prayer in favor of other types of material: contemporary writers of various faiths for personal reflection and rabbinic literature for communal study chosen usually to begin discussion of a particular social issue. Psalms used in prayer are either glossed over or celebrated musically with little or no attention given to the psalm’s meaning. This thesis tries to show how Psalms served as the popular mental health readers of its day through study of one particular psalm, Psalm 32. This psalm posits that human beings grow and evolve through a three-stage process: one, awareness that one’s personal anguish is not primarily medically-based (although one may exhibit physical symptoms) but emotionally- and spiritually- based; two, that one must undergo serious self-reflection that leads to verbal sharing with all appropriate others, including G!d (however understood); and three, that upon doing so, one not only feels an immediate sense of release and relief but starts to live more joyfully, a path that reaches an apex of sort in one’s ability to rejoin community and contribute to it by sharing one’s journey and supporting others in theirs. This process is one that needs renewing throughout one’s life journey, and the more one lives faithfully in response to this call, the more one can live with deep satisfaction and gratification for the gift of life. This thesis serves as a “Meditation and Commentary” by letting the biblical text itself and the presumed psalmist (distinct from the author) speak of the psalmist’s life. This meditation and commentary stick close to the text but try to focus on the spiritual moment and its implications even while remaining in conversation with biblical scholarship, classical and current. The thesis will demonstrate the universal applicability of the psalmist’s journey by making an analogy to two distinct groups of people: those discovering that they have an addiction and must struggle toward recovery, on the one hand, and those discovering that their sexual orientation or gender identity do not fit societal “norms” and struggle to come out to live more fully and joyfully. Finally this project attempts to show that the process for an individual within a community may serve as an analogy to the process that communities within a society may need to undergo. Acknowledgments I am deeply grateful to the Claremont School of Theology for affording me the opportunity to learn within the warm community and open environment where I could grow personally, intellectually and spiritually. I particularly wish to acknowledge Marv Sweeney, professor, mentor, guide and friend who continues to challenge and inspire me as a model not only of erudition, caring, humility, and humor, but, above all, a model mensh. He engaged me encouragingly and helpfully throughout my time here, inside and outside of the classroom and headed my Academic Committee for this project, particularly with the biblical scholarship that I attempt herein. Tammi Schneider taught a number of classes that have helped me tremendously in engaging the biblical text, and she graciously served as a member of my Academic Committee, offering her genial and genuine support and her always germane feedback on this project, particularly with my thinking through the linkages to worship and spirituality. Kathryn Greider served as a reader, and she particularly challenged me to reflect more deeply on the psychological aspects of this project and on the applications I have tried to make. Her attention to detail and to argumentation were especially helpful for me to bring more of the threads together. My colleague and friend Eli Shochet of the Academy for the Jewish Religion, California (AJRCA) also read an early draft of this project. He offered me cogent feedback regarding the interplay of the personal and the scholarly within this paper, and he particularly inspired me to locate the relevant voices among the medieval Jewish philosophical masters. The registrar, Jennie Allen, went above and beyond in her encouragement and help in ensuring I complete not only this project but this program. Her grace and patience are Jobian. My close friend Fran Lande gave of her indefatigable support and was always generous with her ears, head and heart to help me think through various ideas I struggled with on many aspects of this project. Elaine Walker warmly gave of her time, offering me her considered feedback on the mechanics of research. My mother, Rebecca Sacks, has unconditionally offered her love, support and encouragement in all I do, including all my efforts at CST and, especially, with this project. Of course I bear full responsibility for all aspects of this project. Finally I must acknowledge my life partner, Steven Karash, who, in his special way, prodded me and encouraged me. He and our son Evan tolerated all the time I invested in this project, and they celebrate its completion for all the right and for all the obvious reasons. Table of Contents Chapter Page 1. Introduction: The Need for Extended Reflection on Psalm 32..........................1 My Connection to Psalm 32.........................................................................1 This Paper—Why and What........................................................................3 This Paper’s Organization...........................................................................7 A Preliminary Note on Language................................................................8 My Admission Matters—Translation of Psalm 32.....................................13 2. Explaining the Psalm as a Whole: Mechanics Contribute to Meaning............16 Importance of Psalm 32.............................................................................16 Psalm Type................................................................................................17 Structure....................................................................................................20 3. Looking Back on the Journey (Vv. 1-2): From Awareness to Admission to Forgiveness................................................22 L'David......................................................................................................22 Maskil/A Life Lesson.................................................................................22 Ashrei/Evolving people..............................................................................27 Questions to ponder:.......................................................................36 Ashrei...lo avonJEvolving People...accounts no distortion.......................36 Pesha... Chet.. .A von/Defiance... Off T rack... Distortion............................37 N’sui...k’sui...lo yachshovAtfted...back on track...accounts no................40 Excursus 1: Cain and Our Psalmist..........................................................41 N’sui-pesha, k’sui chata’ah...lo yach-shovlo avonMhose defiance is lifted, whose life is back on track...accounts no distortion....................46 Excursus 2: Abraham and Our Reputed Psalmist.....................................49 V’ein b’rucho r’miya/iand whose life-spirit contains no deceit....................51 4. The Three Stages of the Psalmist’s Journey (Vv. 3-7)....................................59 Stage 1: Getting to Awareness (Vv. 3-4)...................................................60 Balu atsamay/My bones atrophied........................................................... 68 Hecherash-ti.. .b’sha-agati kol hayomA kept silent... while I grumbled, constantly.................................................................69 Ki yomam valayla tich-bad alay yadecha/ For day and night Your Hand weighed on me......................................71 Hafach I’shadi/My vitals dried up..............................................................72 B’charvonei kay/fz/feummer’s torridity.......................................................74 Stage 2: Getting to and Offering Acknowledgment/Admission (V.5).......................................................75 Excursus 3: Adam and Our Psalmist........................................................83 Va-avoni lo chisiti/My distortedness I do not hide.....................................89 AmartiA hereby declare.............................................................................90 Ode aleiA admit..........................................................................................95 P’sha’ayAAy defiances...............................................................................96 Avon chatati/The distortedness of my straying.........................................96 Selah/........................................................................................................98 Excursus 4: The Artistry of Acknowledgment— Abraham, Our Psalmist and Moses.....................................................98 The importance of verbal articulation: The Work of Milgrom...................101 Verbal Articulation and Jewish Tradition.................................................104 Written Articulation: The Work of Dr. James Pennebaker......................111 Indirect Admission: Verbal or Written......................................................113 How Much Admission Is Appropriate to Make? Yoma, Ashamnu and Al Chet, and Psalm 19..........................................119 Questions to ponder:.....................................................................131 Stage 3: Sharing the Feeling (Vv. 6-7)....................................................132 A/-zofrTherefore.......................................................................................134 Yit-pallelA.et (the kindness-seeking) examine their lives........................136 Cbas/cMdndness-striving..........................................................................137 L’eit m’tsoAat the moment of discovering.................................................138 Rak/Truly..................................................................................................142 Mayim rab/m/hiighty waters.....................................................................143 Ata seiterli/You are a hiding place for me...............................................146 Mi-tsar tits-reini/From narrow straits You release me..............................147 Excursus 5: The Intertextuality of Psalms 31, 32 and 27.......................150 Ranei falet/euphoric refrains of rescue...................................................154 5. The Call to Community (Vv. 8-11)................................................................156 The Encouragement to Others (Vv. 8-10)...............................................156 Askil-cha v’or-cha.. .i-a-tsa/share, offer, will not close.............................157 DerachAhe path.......................................................................................159 Psalm 32 and Psalm 1.............................................................................160 i-a-tsa alecha einiA will not close an eye to your life...............................164 Al tih’yuA,So) do not be............................................................................169 K’sus k’feredAike a horse or mule............................................................170 Al tih’yu k’sus k’fered...k’mv eilecha/So do not be like a horse or mule...otherwise, not nearing you......................................................170 bal k’rov eilecha/othemse, not nearing you...........................................171 Rabim mach’ovim la-rasha/ Mighty are the sorrows of the wayward...................................................174 Excursus 6: Waywardness and Society..................................................177 Chesed y’sov’venuAov\ng kindness surrounds them...............................179 Our Psalm and the Thirteen Attributes of G!d.........................................180 Admission, Faith and Trust......................................................................186 Trust and Loving Kindness......................................................................192 Questions to ponder:.....................................................................195 The Closing Call to Rejoice: A Motivational Chant (V.11)........................196 Excursus 7: Psalms 32, 33, 97 and Yom Kippur: The Exemplary and the Upright.........................................................198 6. The Psalmist’s Journey is Everyone’s Journey: Specific Applications...........206 First Application: The Psalmist and the Addict.......................................208 Second Application: The Psalmist and the Coming Out Process forGLBT persons................................................................................212 7. The Psalm/ist and Community.......................................................................217 Communal Use of the Psalm...................................................................217 The Psalmist’s program..........................................................................219 Index of Hebrew Biblical Passages....................................................................222 Index of Other Sacred Writings..........................................................................227 Index of Authors................................................................................................. 228 Bibliography.......................................................................................................230