To Ronald and Brenda ‘If you want a quality, act as if you already have it’ Philosopher, William James, 1884 Contents A Brief Introduction It’s time to Rip It Up 1. HOW TO BE HAPPY Where we meet that adorable genius William James, turn the world upside down, learn how to create good cheer at will, and visit the fun factory. 2. ATTRACTION AND RELATIONSHIPS Where we unpack the mysteries of the human heart, discover the power of footsie, invent a new type of speed dating, and learn how to live happily ever after. 3. MENTAL HEALTH Where we meet the ‘Napoleon of neuroses’, find out why watching sport is bad for your health, and discover how best to deal with phobias, anxiety and depression. 4. WILLPOWER Where we learn why rewards punish, and discover how to motivate others, beat procrastination, stop smoking and lose weight. 5. PERSUASION Where we explore the problems of changing people’s minds, find out what really manipulates the masses, and discover how cooperation can shape society. 6. CREATING A NEW YOU Where we learn how to feel more confident, change our personality, and Where we learn how to feel more confident, change our personality, and slow down the effects of ageing. CONCLUSION Where we hypnotize a woman, saw a brain in half, and discover why you really are in two minds about everything. Rip it up Ten ways in which your body instantly changes your brain. Acknowledgements Notes A Brief Introduction It’s time to Rip It Up Self-help gurus and business coaches preach the same simple mantra: If you want to improve your life then you need to change how you think. Force yourself to have positive thoughts and you will become happier. Visualize your dream self and you will enjoy increased success. Think like a millionaire and you will magically grow rich. In principle, this idea sounds perfectly reasonable. However, in practice the approach often proves surprisingly ineffective, with research showing that people struggle to continually think happy thoughts, that employees remain unmoved by imagining their perfect selves, and that those dreaming of endless wealth fail to make their millions. Over a century ago the brilliant Victorian philosopher William James proposed a radically different approach to change. Since then researchers from across the world have carried out hundreds of experiments into James’s theory and discovered that it applies to almost every aspect of people’s lives. Perhaps most importantly of all, the work has given rise to a series of easy and effective exercises that can help people feel happier, avoid anxiety and worry, fall in love and live happily ever after, stay slim, increase their willpower and confidence, and even slow the effects of ageing. This research has been presented at countless scientific conferences and published in academic journals, but has rarely made its way into the public domain. In my previous book, 59 Seconds, I described a handful of these exercises. Rip It Up builds on this work by presenting the first accessible and comprehensive guide to James’s radical theory. It reveals how everything you currently believe about your mind is wrong, shows that change does not have to be challenging, and describes a series of easy-to-implement techniques that are designed to improve several different areas of your everyday life. Throughout the book you are going to be asked to change your behaviour. To emphasize this key message I am going to invite you to do something that I suspect you have never done before. I would like you to destroy parts of this book as you work your way through it. I suspect that there are two possible thoughts running through your mind at the moment. First, you might be thinking something along the lines of ‘Noooooooooooooo, I hate the idea of ripping up my book!’ That, of course, is the point of the exercise. Ask someone to alter their behaviour and they will quickly produce a long list of reasons why they should continue to act in the same old way. This long list of reasons why they should continue to act in the same old way. This attitude is perhaps understandable (after all, behaviours quickly become ingrained in our minds and soon start to feel like old friends), but it presents perhaps the biggest barrier to change. The most effective way of overcoming this problem is simply to do something that you have never done before. Something that makes you feel rather uncomfortable but is harmless. Like destroying a book. Second, if you are looking at this on an ebook reader then you will realize that you obviously can’t carry out the exercise. That’s fine. Simply find a self-help book that encourages you to change the way you think and destroy that instead. Just kidding. Actually, please visit www.RipItUp.biz, download a copy of the ‘Rip It Up workbook’, and print it out. This workbook contains everything you will need to join in with the interactive exercises. To help get the ball rolling, let’s start with a small act of radical change. The following page contains a picture of ‘The Rule Book’. Please rip out the page right now, tear The Rule Book into four pieces, and screw each of the pieces into a paper ball. Hopefully that wasn’t too painful, and you felt your mind undergo a small but real change. I hope that you enjoyed the exercise because throughout the book I am going to ask you to alter many other aspects of your behaviour and, each time, experience much more significant and important shifts in your thoughts and feelings. It’s time to embrace a new approach to change. An approach that is grounded in science, overturns conventional thinking, and provides a basis for the easiest, quickest and most effective ways of changing your life. So sit up straight, take a deep breath and prepare to Rip It Up.