RIDDLES RIDDLES RIDDLES CONTENTS Foreword WHAT’S WHAT? HOW MANY FISH CAN YOU CATCH? PLEASE TELL ME WHY! WHAT AM I? THE RIDDLE OF THE SPHINX SOME (SHAGGY) DOG RIDDLES HOW’S YOUR GEOGRAPHY? SOME DIFFICULT FEATS (FEETS) WHICH IS WHICH? A KENNEL FULL OF CURS LOTS OF LETTUCE (LETTERS) GIRLS ARE ALWAYS RIDDLES WHERE IN THE WORLD? WHAT IF? GHOSTLY GUESSERS HORSE LAUGHS WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE? ENIGMAS SAY WHEN! NAME THE NATIONS BIBLE RIDDLES HISTORY’S A MYSTERY SECRETS OF THE SEAS HOW CAN THIS BE? ANIMAL CRACKERS WHAT IS IT? WHY ARE THEY ALIKE? CAN YOU FIGURE THESE OUT? CATS! CATS! CATS! RIDDLE ME THIS WHO IN THE WORLD? CHARADE RIDDLES RHYMED CHARADES HOW COME? MISS TREES (MYSTERIES) DICTIONARY NATIONS SEE ANY RESEMBLANCE? HEADS I WIN DOWN THE GARDEN PATH WHAT’S THE GOOD WORD? TURN-AROUND RIDDLES FLOWER RIDDLES SOME HARD NUTS TO CRACK LET ‘ER RIDE WATCH YOUR STEP! RIDDLES IN RHYME ADAM AND EVE AND THE APPLE DICTIONARY CITIES BIRD BAFFLERS ABBREVIATED STATES TRANSPOSED TREES A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS KATE’S A GOOD SKATE RIDDLES WITH DUMB ENDINGS JUST DUCKY DO YOU KNOW YOUR AUNTS? REAL CITIES JACKS OF ALL TRADES TRICKS OF THE TRADES THE BISHOP’S RIDDLE FOR BIGGER, BETTER OR WORSE FOREWORD Everyone loves riddles. They are often the quickest and funniest jokes in the world. In a split second a clever riddle will jolt even a deadpan into uncontrollable laughter. After a good deal of serious study, I have come to the conclusion that the main trouble with riddles is that no one knows enough of them! This was proved when I was collecting riddles for this book. Whenever I could, I tried out riddles to see if they were as funny as I thought they were. Over and over again, my unsuspecting victims looked blank for a second or two, then burst into guffaws of laughter. To my great delight, most of these poor guinea pigs had never before heard the riddles I sprang on them. I hope that you, dear reader, will find them just as fresh. Oddly enough, hardly anyone seems to know the difference between a riddle and a conundrum. A riddle is a question to which the answer, while unexpected, is pretty straightforward. For example: “What can be heard and caught but never seen?” The answer is: “A remark.” Conundrums, on the other hand, are based on double meanings or plays on words. Hundreds of these puns are so outrageous that they would make the shaggiest of shaggy dogs howl, tear up the ground with his paws, and run away and hide for shame. An example of a not-too-shaggy kind would be: “What is the difference between a mouse and a pretty girl?” The answer: “One harms the cheese, the other charms the he’s.” Independent research, however, has shown that really shaggy conundrums split more sides than do cautious ones! Riddles and conundrums are a kind of puzzle, and the answers to many of them can be figured out—after a while. In this book they are told mostly just for fun, and for this reason, the answers are printed right beneath the riddles. It is easier for the reader than looking for the answers in a separate section in the back of the book, and it is done because most people would rather laugh at the answers right away than try to puzzle them out. WHAT’S WHAT? 1 What kind of shoes are made out of banana skins? Slippers. 2 What makes the Tower of Pisa lean? It never eats. 3 What colors would you paint the sun and the wind? The sun rose and the wind blue. 4 What would happen if a girl should swallow her teaspoon? She wouldn’t be able to stir. 5 What is the easiest thing for a stingy man to part with? A comb. 6 What is the most difficult train to catch? The 12:50, because it’s 10 to 1 if you catch it. 7 What most resembles half a cheese? The other half. 8 What is never of any use unless it is in a tight place? A cork. 9 What, besides a good rule, works both ways? A ferry boat. 10 What ship has two mates but no captain? Courtship. 11 What do all ships weigh, regardless of their size? Their anchors. 12 What man’s business is best when things are dullest? A knife-sharpener. 13 What is always filled when it is used and empty when at rest? A shoe. 14 What becomes higher when the head is off? A pillow. 15 What is sure to go out the tighter it is locked in? A fire. 16 What coat is put on only when it is wet? A coat of paint. 17 What can be a speaking likeness and yet is dumb? A photograph. 18 What man can raise things without lifting them? A farmer. 19 To what man does everyone always take off his hat? The barber. 20 What tongue can wag and yet never utter a word? The tongue of your shoe.