"A WEALTH OF TIPS AND STRATEGIES for ferreting out people's real viewpoints, motives, and character traits. . . . Whether interviewing a baby-sitter, meeting a new date, or selecting a jury, this thorough, detailed guide of what to look for could probably improve anyone's ability at seeing and being seen." —Publishers Weekly America's leading expert on reading people, Jo-Elian Dimitrius, can literally read a person like a book. By decoding the hidden messages in appearance, tone of voice, facial expression, and personal habit, she has accurately predicted the behavior of jurors, witnesses, lawyers, and judges in some of the most celebrated trials of the past two decades. Now, in this phenomenal new book, she applies the secrets of her extraordinary success to the everyday situations we all face at work, at home, and in relationships. How can you "hear between the lines" to detect a lie? When is intuition the best guide to making important decisions? What are the tell-tale signs of romantic attraction? How do other people "read" us? The answers lie closer than we might think. Hair style, clothing, voice, hand gestures, the neatness of office or living room, the steadiness of the gaze, behavior around subordinates: in combination these and other traits provide critical clues to a person's integrity, work habits, and sexual interests. Through vivid anecdotes and proven techniques, Dimitrius teaches us how to interpret these signs with accuracy and precision. Whether your focus is friendship or marriage, career or family, romance or professional success, Reading People gives you the skills you need to make sound, swift decisions and reap the benefits from a lifetime of razor-sharp insight. "[A] VALUABLE GUIDE . . . Practical, good advice for discerningly 'reading' others and becoming more aware of the myriad of nonverbal messages one conveys." —Kirkus Reviews Reading People 01_576089 ffirs.qxd 1/20/05 5:46 PM Page ii HOW TO UNDERSTAND PEOPLE AND PREDICT THEIR BEHAVIOR— ANYTIME, ANYPLACE Jo-Ellan Dimitrius, Ph.D., and Mark Mazzarella B A L L A N T I NE B O O KS • NEW Y O RK Sale of this book without a front cover may be unauthorized. If this book is coverless, it may have been reported to the publisher as "unsold or destroyed" and neither the author nor the publisher may have received payment for it. A Ballantine Book Published by The Ballantine Publishing Group Copyright © 1998, 1999 by Jo-Elian Dimitrius and Mark Mazzarella All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. Published in the United States by The Ballantine Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York, and distributed in Canada by Random House of Canada Limited, Toronto. Originally published in slightly different form by Random House, Inc., in 1998. www.randomhouse.com/BB/ Ballantine and colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc. Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 99-90259 ISBN 0-345-42587-1 Manufactured in the United States of America Cover photo by Benoit First Ballantine Edition: June 1999 109 8 76 5 To my father, Harlan Huebner, whose love of people was contagious; to my mother, Joan Huebner, who continues to inspire me with her passion for people; to my won- derful children, Nikki, Francis, and Stirling, who bring me love and joy every day of my life; and to Mark, whose intellect, humor, compassion, patience, and devotion made this book possible. —JO-ELLAN DIMITRIUS To my mom, Carol, who is with me in spirit always; to my children, Eve, Laurel, Joel, Michael, and Cody, who give me strength—and lots of practice reading people; and to Jo-Elian, who has taught me to see people, and the world, through different eyes. — MARK MAZZARELLA 01_576089 ffirs.qxd 1/20/05 5:46 PM Page ii Acknowledgments No one ever achieved much without the contributions of others, and cre- ating this book was no exception. From the time we first decided to write Reading People, through its many drafts, and finally during the process of editing, publishing, and promotion, we have been blessed with the en- couragement and assistance of so many wonderful and talented people that we could never thank them all. But we would like to publicly ac- knowledge a few to whom we are particularly indebted. We owe a special debt of gratitude to Dr. Spencer Johnson, who first suggested that we write this book together. His vision of a book that would help others live more enjoyable, meaningful, and fruitful lives took root and grew into Reading People. Thank you also, Spencer, for introducing us to our agent, Margret McBride, who has been a vital and enthusiastic supporter since the inception of this project. This book could never have been written without the assistance as well of Jack Dunn, the CEO of FTI Consulting, who encouraged Jo-Elian to take as much time as she needed away from her duties at the office; and without the support of the partners, associates, and staff of the law firm of Mazzarella, Dunwoody, Wilson & Petty, who pitched in to free Mark up to spend the many months required to put our thoughts on paper. We'll never be able to thank Lynn Randall enough for her twenty years of support and friendship to Mark, and her help and encouragement with this book. Thanks also to Diane Anderson and Melinda Lewis, who transcribed draft after draft of the text. Their diligence, talent, and phe- nomenal ability to understand Mark's dictation and read his handwrit- viii Acknowledgments ten edits kept us on schedule. We are also grateful to John Wexo and Michael Rondeau, good friends and gifted writers, who took time out of their busy lives to brainstorm and edit this book. A special thanks to you, John—you showed us the way. Our thanks also go out to all the great people at Random House, es- pecially Deb Futter, our editor, for believing in this project and helping make our dream a reality; and Jolanta Benal, our copy editor. We also want to recognize Lynette Padwa for all her hard work on the early drafts of the text. Most important, we want to thank our families, friends, and loved ones, whose quiet contributions will never be known, except by us. Thank you all.