Racing Romance Racing Romance Love, Power, and Desire among Asian American / White Couples kumiko nemoto rutgers university press New Brunswick, New Jersey, and London Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Nemoto, Kumiko, 1970– Racing romance : love, power, and desire among Asian American/white couples / Kumiko Nemoto. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 978–0–8135–4532–5 (hardcover : alk. paper) ISBN 978–0–8135–4533–2 (pbk. : alk. paper) 1. Interracial marriage—United States. 2. Interracial dating—United States. 3. Asian Americans—Psychology. 4. Asian Americans—Race identity. 5. Race awareness. 6. Race relations. I. Title. HQ1031.N45 2009 306.84'608995073—dc22 008038708 A British Cataloging-in-Publication record for this book is available from the British Library. Copyright © 2009 by Kumiko Nemoto All rights reserved No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher. Please contact Rutgers University Press, 100 Joyce Kilmer Avenue, Piscataway, NJ 08854–8099. The only exception to this prohibition is “fair use” as defi ned by U.S. copyright law. Visit our Web site: http://rutgerspress.rutgers.edu Manufactured in the United States of America Composition: Jack Donner, BookType For my mother Contents Acknowledgments ix Introduction 1 Chapter 1 Interracial Relationships: Discourses and Images 19 Part I Asian American Women with White Men Chapter 2 The Good Wife 39 Chapter 3 A Woman Ascending 73 Part II Asian American Men with White Women Chapter 4 A Man’s Place 107 Chapter 5 Playing the Man 125 Chapter 6 Men Alone 142 Conclusion: Matters of Race and Gender 155 Appendix 165 Notes 169 Bibliography 183 Index 191 vii Acknowledgments This book is a result of my long personal and intellectual journey. Many persons have helped to make the work possible. I thank all the couples and individuals who endured my questions and allowed me to explore their personal expe- riences. Composing the stories about each individual required an enormous amount of refl ection on my part, viewing each account from my perspectives as a researcher, a feminist scholar, and a Japanese woman; accomplishing this task would not have been possible without the genuine and kind assistance of the people I interviewed. Parts of this book were previously published in the Journal of Asian American Studies and in Gender Issues. The book began while I was at the University of Texas at Austin. I am especially indebted to Christine L. Williams for her long-term mentoring and role-modeling as a scholar and a teacher. On a number of diffi cult occasions during and after my graduate school career, Christine consistently offered me encouragement and helpful suggestions. Her guidance as a feminist scholar was invaluable in my completing this book. I thank Debra Umberson and Pauline Strong for engaging with my project with positive affi rmations and suggestions. I am indebted to Art Sakamoto and Sharmila Rudrappa for their generosity, warm support, and continuous friendship. Several colleagues further helped me with the volume. I am grateful for the insightful comments and warm friendship of Karen D. Pyke of the University of California, Riverside. I am indebted to Erica Chito Childs for providing generously of her time and for her helpful comments. I thank these other colleagues who also provided helpful comments and suggestions: Rebecca Klatch, Jyoti Puri, Sharon Bird, and Katrina Bell McDonald. I am grateful to my editor at Rutgers University Press, Adi Hovav, whose patience and thoughtful suggestions have also made this book possible. I am grateful to friends who supported the process of writing, over the years, and provided insights in innumerable ways—particularly Esther Alston and Andrea Braendlin, who have taught me much and helped me with love and ix