Queering Marriage Q Families in Focus Series Editors Anita Ilta Garey, University of Connecticut Naomi R. Gerstel, University of Massachusetts, Amherst Karen V. Hansen, Brandeis University Rosanna Hertz, Wellesley College Margaret K. Nelson, Middlebury College Katie L. Acosta, Amigas y Amantes: Sexually Nonconforming Latinas Negoti- ate Family Anita Ilta Garey and Karen V. Hansen, eds., At the Heart of Work and Family: Engaging the Ideas of Arlie Hochschild Mary Ann Mason, Nicholas H. Wolfinger, and Marc Goulden, Do Babies Matter? Gender and Family in the Ivory Tower Jamie L. Mullaney and Janet Hinson Shope, Paid to Party: Working Time and Emotion in Direct Home Sales Markella B. Rutherford, Adult Supervision Required: Private Freedom and Public Constraints for Parents and Children Barbara Wells, Daughters and Granddaughters of Farmworkers: Emerging from the Long Shadow of Farm Labor Queering Marriage Q Challenging Family Formation in the United States Katrina Kimport rutgers university press new brunswick, new jersey, and london Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Kimport, Katrina, 1978– Queering marriage : challenging family formation in the United States / Katrina Kimport. pages cm.—(Families in focus) Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 978–0-8135–6222–3 (hardcover : alk. paper)—ISBN 978–0-8135– 6221–6 (pbk. : alk. paper)—ISBN 978–0-8135–6223–0 (e-book) 1. Same-sex marriage—California—San Francisco. 2. Same-sex marriage— United States. 3. Gay rights—California—San Francisco. 4. Gay rights—United States. I. Title. HQ1034.U5K56 2014 306.84'80973—dc23 2013010364 A British Cataloging-i n- Publication record for this book is available from the British Library. Copyright © 2014 by Katrina Kimport All rights reserved No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher. Please contact Rutgers Univer- sity Press, 106 Somerset Street, New Brunswick, NJ 08901. The only exception to this prohibition is “fair use” as defined by U.S. copyright law. Visit our website: http://rutgerspress.rutgers.edu Manufactured in the United States of America C o N T E N T S Acknowledgments vii 1 The Winter of Love 1 2 Marrying for the Movement 20 3 Marrying for Rights 43 4 Marrying for Love 65 5 Gender and Parenthood 82 6 The Persistent Power of Marriage 104 7 Exposing Heteronormativity 130 8 Conclusion 150 Methodological Appendix 161 Notes 171 References 175 Index 187 A C K N o W L E D G M E N T S Without the insight, guidance, and encouragement of my mentors at the University of California, Santa Barbara, I could not have turned a burgeoning sociological interest in the San Francisco same-s ex wed- dings into the book you now hold. I thank Verta Taylor for her unwav- ering support of me and of this project. She was irreplaceable as an editor—a nd as a cheerleader—a nd I benefited enormously from her generous feedback. More than anyone else, Jennifer Earl made me the scholar I am today. I admire and learned from her impressive work ethic, integrity, humor, and commitment to mentoring, and even from her occasionally frustrating refusal to accept thanks for what she understands to be simply doing her job as a mentor. I thank Leila J. Rupp for her insightful analysis of my work, for the questions that helped me clarify my argument, and for her commitment to my schol- arship. I also thank her for her behind-t he- scenes consultations with Verta about this project, especially when they impinged on precious vacation time. Barbara Tomlinson modeled the thinking life, and I learned a great deal from her intentionality and the care she took in her thinking and writing. More than a few times, BT was able to articulate what didn’t work in a piece, such that I not only knew how to fix it, but was motivated to do so. It is a rare talent to be able to inspire cheerful- ness in the face of a major revision. BT was also a supportive presence for the inevitable, discouraging moments I faced during this project, helping me identify what, for my purposes, did and did not matter. I thank my Rutgers editor, Peter Mickulas, for his enthusiastic com- mitment to this project and the academic editors of the Families in vii viii Acknowledgments Focus series, particularly Peggy Nelson and Rosanna Hertz, for their thoughtful reviews of earlier drafts. I am also much indebted to Jaye Cee Whitehead for her review of the initial manuscript. I drew heav- ily on her constructive critique in the final phases of completing this book. Her review represents the best of the peer review process that makes academic inquiry a collective endeavor. Finally, this work would not have been possible without the phe- nomenal support of my colleagues in the Advancing New Standards in Reproductive Health (ANSIRH) program of the Bixby Center for Global Reproductive Health at the University of California, San Fran- cisco. I am especially indebted to Tracy Weitz and Lori Freedman, who both offered encouragement, feedback, and steadfast belief in this project. It is a rare privilege to work with such a talented and com- mitted group of scholars. I owe a debt of gratitude to all of my fellow ANSIRHites for making it such a wonderful place to work. Throughout this project and my academic career broadly, my family— both immediate and extended, blood and chosen—h as pro- vided diversions, laughter, perspective, and love. I cannot thank them enough, especially David, Barbara, Rebecca, and Susie Kimport, Bob and the late Helen Buggert, and Richard Buggert. Last, my love and appreciation to Matthew Villeneuve and our daughter, Mathilde, for the joy they bring to my life. Queering Marriage Q