QUEER ADOLESCENCE QUEER ADOLESCENCE Understanding the Lives of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, and Asexual Youth Charlie McNabb ROWMAN & LITTLEFIELD Lanham • Boulder • New York • London PublishedbyRowman&Littlefield AnimprintofTheRowman&LittlefieldPublishingGroup,Inc. 4501ForbesBoulevard,Suite200,Lanham,Maryland20706 www.rowman.com 6TinworthStreet,LondonSE115AL,UnitedKingdom Copyright©2020byTheRowman&LittlefieldPublishingGroup,Inc. Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthisbookmaybereproducedinanyformorby anyelectronicormechanicalmeans,includinginformationstorageandretriev- alsystems,withoutwrittenpermissionfromthepublisher,exceptbyareviewer whomayquotepassagesinareview. BritishLibraryCataloguinginPublicationInformationAvailable LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData Names:McNabb,Charlie,1983–author. Title:Queeradolescence:understandingthelivesoflesbian,gay,bisexual,transgender,queer, intersex,andasexualyouth/CharlieMcNabb. Description:Lanham:Rowman&Littlefield,[2020]|Includesbibliographicalreferencesand index.|Summary:“Inthisbook,personalaccountsminglewithfactualinformationandsensi- tiveanalysistoprovideasnapshotofthejoysandconcernsoflesbian,gay,bisexual,transgen- der,queer,intersex,andasexualadolescents.”—Providedbypublisher. Identifiers:LCCN2020013024(print)|LCCN2020013025(ebook)|ISBN9781538132814 (cloth;alk.paper)|ISBN9781538132821(epub) Subjects:LCSH:Gayyouth.|Sexualminorityyouth.|Adolescence. Classification:LCCHQ76.27.Y68M362020(print)|LCCHQ76.27.Y68(ebook)|DDC306.76/ 60835—dc23 LCrecordavailableathttps://lccn.loc.gov/2020013024 LCebookrecordavailableathttps://lccn.loc.gov/2020013025 TMThepaperusedinthispublicationmeetstheminimumrequirementsof AmericanNationalStandardforInformationSciencesPermanenceofPaper forPrintedLibraryMaterials,ANSI/NISOZ39.48-1992. To my love Erin, and to all queer youth past, present, and future. CONTENTS Foreword ix Preface xiii Acknowledgments xix 1 WhatIsQueerAdolescence? 1 2 WhoWeAre 13 3 SexEducation 31 4 GoingthroughPuberty 41 5 ParentalandPeerInvolvement 53 6 ExploringGender 63 7 ExploringSexuality 73 8 ComingOut 85 9 Transition 97 10 WhatWeWishHadBeenDifferent 105 Notes 125 Glossary 139 RecommendedReading 157 Bibliography 165 Index 169 AbouttheAuthor 175 vii FOREWORD C harlie McNabb and I met as master’s students in the folklore pro- gram at the University of Oregon, where we were both interested in research with queer populations. In the decade since, we’ve continued to pursue work and research that affirms queer identities. Over the years we’ve kept in touch, and Charlie helped me by providing feed- back for a guide for teachers on working with LGBTQ+ youth and has spoken to my undergraduate folklore course on how folklore training informs their current work. I am delighted to see some of Charlie’s importantresearchonqueerandtransgenderpeopleinabookthatcan serveasaresourceforqueeryouthaswellasthosewhoworkwiththese populations. And by that, I mean all teachers and care providers, as we neverknowwhatidentitiestheyouthweworkwithmaygrowinto. In recent years LGBTQ+ people have become more visible, and socialmediaismoreprominentlyusedamongLGBTQ+youth,causing some adults to have the mistaken assumption that youth do not need queer-inclusive curricula and care. But this is not the case, as young people still need guidance evaluating and finding accurate information aboutqueeridentities.Theymayalsonothaveprivateinternetaccessat home, or they may live in communities where queer people are only discussed in whispers, and never in a positive light. In the absence of mirrors1 for their identity, queer students can feel lost as they navigate schooling, puberty, medical care, and all other typical adolescent expe- riences. This is even more important for those on “the margins of the margins”2 or those who are outside of the gender binary, the more ix