PoliticiansPar_HCtextF1.qxd.ps 8/2/03 11:24 AM Page i POLITICIANS , PARTISANS , AND PARASITES PoliticiansPar_HCtextF1.qxd.ps 8/2/03 11:24 AM Page ii PoliticiansPar_HCtextF1.qxd.ps 8/2/03 11:24 AM Page iii POLITICIANS , PARTISANS , AND PARASITES (cid:2) (cid:2) (cid:2) My Adventures in Cable News (cid:2) (cid:2) (cid:2) Tucker Carlson Copyright © 2003 by Tucker Carlson All rights reserved. Warner Books,Inc., 1271 Avenue of the Americas, New York,NY 10020 Visit our Web site at www.twbookmark.com. An AOL Time Warner Company First eBook Edition:September 2003 ISBN:0-7595-0798-8 Book design by Fearn Cutler de Vicq PoliticiansPar_HCtextF1.qxd.ps 8/2/03 11:24 AM Page v To Susie PoliticiansPar_HCtextF1.qxd.ps 8/2/03 11:24 AM Page vi PoliticiansPar_HCtextF1.qxd.ps 8/2/03 11:24 AM Page vii Acknowledgments In addition to my dogs, Agnes and Maisie, who’ve slept next to my desk through countless magazine pieces and now this book, I’d like to thank: My cohosts on Crossfire, James Carville, Paul Begala, and Bob Novak, who in real life are just the way they appear on tele- vision, only more so. Jim Walton, Teya Ryan, and Sue Bunda at CNN for cham- pioning my cause. Our diabolical Crossfire producers and staff, including Sam Feist, Kristy Schantz, Amy Farrar, Kate Farrell, Debbie Berger, Emily D’Alberto, Eileen McMenamin, Abbi Tatton, Chris Rogers, Raeshawn Smith, Josh Cowen, Heather Clapp, Howie Lutt, Stacie Paxton, Joe Van Kanel, Joe Conley, Beverly O’Banion, Chris Youd, James Stubbs, Mike David, Reza Bak- tar, Doug Koztoski, Jimmy Suissa, Art Thomas, Darren White, and Skip Smith. The small but valiant team of Spin Roomcommandos: Susan Toffler, Libbie Schlather, Kate Albright-Hanna, and of course my pal Bill Press. vii PoliticiansPar_HCtextF1.qxd.ps 8/2/03 11:24 AM Page viii  1 Tammy Haddad, who is always the first person I call, for 2 everything. 3 Colin Fox, my talented and (remarkably) patient editor at 4 Warner Books. 5 Binky Urban of International Creative Management, who is 6 every bit as excellent as her reputation. 7 Matt Labash, the wittiest man in journalism, whose E-mails 8 alone would make a better book than this. 9 Bill Kristol, Chris Caldwell, Andy Ferguson, David Tell, 0 Richard Starr, Jonathan Last, David Bass, Vic Matus, and every- 1 one else now and once at the Weekly Standard. 2 All the many people in journalism who’ve been kind to 3 me for no particular reason, especially Adam Meyerson, Paul 4 Greenberg, Bob Sallee, Marion Maneker, Sam Sifton, Tina 5 Brown, Mark Gerson, and Margaret Carlson. 6 My brother, Buckley, and my parents, Richard and Patricia 7 Carlson, for a lifetime of great dinner table conversation. 8 And my children, Lillie, Buckley, Hopie, and Dorothy. I 9 hope that when you can read this, it won’t embarrass you. 0 Finally, to the friends, colleagues, and collaborators identi- 1 fied only by pronouns in this book. I’ve tried to protect you. 2 Sorry I didn’t succeed. 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 viii PoliticiansPar_HCtextF1.qxd.ps 8/2/03 11:24 AM Page ix Contents “...in the History of CNN.” 1 King’s Law of Detachment 27 The Electrical College 53 Where Does the Opposition Party Sit? 95 The Dick Morris Suite 131 Your Biggest Fan! 167 The Other Tucker Carlson 181 Afterword 191 ix