JANUARY 6-12, 2012 | VOLUME 17 | NUMBER 19 NEUTER THE NEWT, AMERICA | OCWEEKLY.COM E E R F LA TIMES (HEARTS) CAMP PENDLETON TOO MUCH 12 PLAYS FOR 2012 TUSTIN’S BEEFIEST RESTAURANT CCCaaannn ttthhheee ssstttaaarrr sssuuurrrfffeeerrr bbbeeeaaattt ttthhheee OOOCCC aaaccctttiiiooonnn---ssspppooorrrtttsss ccclllooottthhhiiinnnggg eeessstttaaabbbllliiissshhhmmmeeennnttt aanndd ddee--ccoorrppoorraattiizzee ssuurrffiinngg?? Bobby Martinez’s ry C e l b e R by Tibby Rothman C M Y K Im p o rte d b y C ro w n Im p o rts L L C . C h ica g o , IL 6 0 6 0 3 2 | january 6-12, 2012 | contents | letters | the county | feature | calendar | food | film | culture | music | | ocweekly.com 266626peo01_OC df inside » » Lose 6 To 20 Inches noW! LOSE 6 to 20 01/06-01/12 2012 INCHES NOW! on your first visit! 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By Gustavo Arellano 10 | TIBBY ROTHMAN | Can Bobby 22 | ON THE LINE | Meet Bruno Serato Martinez’s harsh words and crisp moves of the Anaheim White House. reform the corporatized surf scene By Anne Marie Panoringan YOUNGERLOOK.COM dominated by Orange County’s action- 26 | DRINK OF THE WEEK | Drink some sports industry? Allagash Curieux. By Taylor Hamby 28 FILM 28 | REVIEW | Margaret Thatcher as WHY PAY MORE? OVER 17,000 PROCEDURES PERFORMED. victimized woman in The Iron Lady. QUALITY AT AFFORDABLE PRICES WITH NO HIDDEN FEES! By Karina Longworth LEARN MORE AT YOUNGERLOOK.COM 34 CULTURE 34 | ART | Watch these 12 plays in 2012. BREAST LIPOSCULPTURE By Joel Beers $2,900 OF THE UPPER AND AUGMENTATION 36 MUSIC LOWER ABDOMEN (COMPLETE) 36 | CONCERT | The Juan Maclean (NO HIDDEN FEES) (COMPLETE) levels up. By Ned Raggett Author of well recognized Author of well recognized 36 | MENTAL NOTES | Our writer Breast Augmentation book Liposuction book was banned from Slidebar. By Brandon Ferguson BRAZILIAN BUTTOCKS LIFT $3,600 SCLEROTHERAPY $99 38 | CONCERT | Soyuz can rock, (NO HIDDEN FEES) PER AREA Cosmonauts? By Chris Ziegler FULLER LIPS $385 MICRODERMABRASION $69 39 | LOCALS ONLY | Within the Devious RESTYLANE/JUVEDERM LASER HAIR REMOVAL BIKINI/FACE Means. By Adam Lovinus PHOTOFACIAL $150 $69 RTER BOTOX $99 A PER AREA C DA other stuff MERAN »22 06 | Letters JAAS HCEKAR DF OMN 09 | Hey, You! & AMP FM online 40 | Concert & Club Guide 47 | Savage Love NAVEL GAZING | News & More STICK A FORK IN IT | Dining & Food HEARD MENTALITY | Music & Culture on the cover BLOGS.OCWEEKLY.COM 08 | LA Times (Hearts) Camp Pendleton » cover credits 10 | Bobby Martinez’s Rebel Yell PHOTO | Ted Soqui 21 | Tustin’s Hottest Restaurant DESIGN | Darrick Rainey 34 | 12 Plays to Watch in 2012 feature | coaclwenedeakrl y|. c fooomd | | film | cu»ltu rceo |n tmeunstics |« letters | the cou n| OtyC W |E E fKeLaY.tCuOrMe | calendar | food | film | culture | music | january 6-12, 2012 | 3 online » ocweekly.com TOP 5 ONLINE OCWEEKLY.COM / SLIDESHOW THE MOST-READ STORIES ON WELCOMING IN 2012 AT WHITE WONDERLAND AT THE ANAHEIM OCWEEKLY.COM FOR DEC. 28, 2011- CONVENTION CENTER JAN. 3, 2012 1 BLOGS HEARD MENTALITY Top 10 Craziest Outfits Worn By Musicians in 2011 2 SLIDESHOW O FEATURES ORI Orange County’s Five VICT Best Pizzerias HER P O 3 SLIDESHOW ST RI H NIGHTLIFE C Dash Berlin at Sutra . 4 SLIDESHOW COMMENTS NIGHTLIFE OCWEEKLY.COM READER FEEDBACK White Wonderland 2011: Saturday “I can’t believe these kids would bother with mere herbage. Ya know, 5 BLOGS skiing on LSD is a REAL trip. . . .” NAVEL GAZING —“CM” responding to Michelle Woo’s Dec. 30 Chuck Smith, Calvary Chapel Navel Gazing post “Police Seize Pot From High Schoolers Founder, Announces He Has on SWAT Snowboarding Trip” Lung Cancer oc weekly staff » EDITORIAL PRODUCTION CIRCULATION Editor Gustavo Arellano Production Manager Jorge Negreros Circulation Director Pat Connell Managing Editor Nick Schou Senior Graphic Designer Jay Brockman Field Coordinator Hugo Castillo Associate Editor Patrice Marsters Circulation Assistant Chelsea Acuff Senior Editor, News & Investigations MULTIMEDIA ADVERTISING Circulation Coordinator Ofelia Perez R. Scott Moxley RETAIL Staff Writers Matt Coker, Michelle Woo Advertising Director Jennifer Besheer VILLAGE VOICE MEDIA Web Editor Vickie Chang Retail Sales Manager Scott Mabry HOLDINGS LLC Music Editor Lilledeshan Bose Retail Account Executives Nader Ali, Executive Editor Michael Lacey Calendar Editor Erin DeWitt Ryan Cox, Jeremy Ginsburg, Jason Executive Managing Editor Clubs Editor Brandon Ferguson Hamelberg, Danny Hudgins, Analise Christine Brennan Editorial Assistant Taylor Hamby Seltzer, Lynsie Shackelford, Emily Executive Associate Editor Contributing Writers Reyan Ali, Danielle Trayers, Ryan Whipple Andy Van De Voorde Bacher, Dave Barton, Joel Beers, Junior Account Executives Alexandra Director of Web Content and Traffic Riley Breckenridge, A lbert Ching, Estrada, Tad Perez Keith Plocek Stacy Davies, J essica Ford, Billy Gil, Digital Design Director Darrick Rainey Edwin Goei, Michael Goldstein, Jack MARKETING Editorial Design Director Tom Carlson Grimshaw, J. Hoberman, Grace Le, Marketing Coordinators National Circulation Director Dave Lieberman, Adam Lovinus, Lauren Monahan, Andrea Percy Curt Sanders Peter Mai, T odd Mathews, A nne Marie Digital Product Manager Meg Strouse National Classified Ad Director Panoringan, Amanda Parsons, N ed Kenny Stocker Raggett, MT Richards, Ryan Ritchie, CLASSIFIED Corporate Controller Beth Cook Paul Saitowitz, Shuji Sakai, Gabriel Classified Sales Director Carl Elmore Vice President Human Resources San Roman, Dan Savage, Justin Classified Account Executives Dac Diana Fraser Shady, Ella Taylor, Drew Tewksbury, Blassingame, Brian Lynch Vice President Financial Operations Andrew Tonkovich, Arrissia Owen Jeff Mars Turner, Robert Wilonsky, Chris Ziegler ADMINISTRATION Legal Counsel Steve Suskin Proofreader Jack Grimshaw Publisher Kurtis Barton Executive Vice President Scott Spear Editorial Interns Charles Lam, Kathryn Group Publisher Beth Sestanovich Chief Financial Officer Jed Brunst Millard, Peter Ngugi Business Manager Daniel Werner President and Chief Operating Officer Director of Operations/HR Liaison Scott Tobias EDITORIAL ART Cassie Shine Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Art Director Laila Derakhshanian Operations Coordinator Jim Larkin Layout Editor Andrea Adams Cara Tavaglione Contributing Artists Jonathan Bartlett, Accounting Manager Marissa Weisberg INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY Jay Brockman, Jason Crosby, Mark AR Manager Michael Galsim Chief Information Officer Gerard Goroski Dancey, Jason Edmiston, Matthew Staff Accountant Francisco Arambula Director of Business Systems Laznicka, Jesse Lenz, J ames McHugh, Project Manager Eric VanBeek Brian King Curt Merlo, Shaunna Peterson, Jim IT Systems Manager Bryan Stage Director of Digital Product Rugg, Nathan Santistevan, Brian Systems Administrators Management James Hamilton Stauffer, Andrew Vastagh, Michael Frank Miles, Robert VanBeek Infrastructure Director Dave Marcon Villegas, Kyle T. Webster, Stephen Programmer Francisco Barajas Operations Manager Brian Heimert Weigl, Evan Yarbrough Web Integrator Ed Horneij Network Support Manager David Fearn Photographers Mary Bell, Star Web/It Support Technician NEW MEDIA Foreman, John Gilhooley, Zack Todd Sternisha Director of Community and Social Herrera, Jonathan Ho, Ryan Philip Engagement Kevin Spidel Lane, Keith May, Corey Nickols, LA WEEKLY STAFF Director of Digital Operations & Jeanne Rice, Susan Sabo, Chad Film Category Manager Brian Bullen Marketing Stacy Volhein Sengstock, Beth Stirnaman, Sean Concerts/Music Events Manager Web Support Manager Teegarden, Miguel Vasconcellos, John Hill Michael Uchtman Christopher Victorio, Jennie Warren, For a full list of LA Weekly staff, National Digital Marketing Strategist Andrew Youssef visit ocweekly.com/about/staff. 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Any condition, running or not! ee www.voicemaildepot.com / 800-309-8888 Free Towing, 7 days a week k 714 - 677 - 2274 l y . c o Same Day Delivery ! m * Viagra * Cialis * Levitra * Text or Call (310) 818-3424 CRIMINAL DEFENSE BUSTED? Aggressive criminal defense by an experienced criminal defense attorney. 20 years of experience. You do not have to go it alone. In some cases, your appearance will not even be required. Payment plans and charge cards accepted. DUI and drug busts are my specialty. Free initial consultation. Call now for an appointment. (949)387-3200 Law Offices of Rick L. Eby 9900 Research Drive Irvine, CA 92618 50 |january 6-12, 2012 | contents | letters | the county | feature | calendar | food | film | culture | music » classifieds « | OCWEEKLY.COM letters » 1 1 TEN PERCENT OFF OF ENTIRE PURCHASE “What trial was the JURY watching?” UP IN SMOKE rather appalling—one’s nose should stay Judge Charles D. Sheldon did little to in one’s business. The bizarre behavior hide the fact that he was actively assisting and sexual conduct of staring in some- the prosecution [Nick Shou’s “Captain one’s window is quite alarming. What Kangaroo,” Dec. 23, 2011]. This must be did you expect to see? overturned by appeal. They are railroad- Lance, via ocweekly.com ing two very wonderful men who help many people. The Marine Corps has 14 leadership Zzardozz via ocweekly.com traits that we live by—a few of those are integrity, tact and bearing. This man I want to thank Nick for shedding light has none of those and should be held on this ridiculous miscarriage of “jus- accountable. Otherwise, it gives Marines tice,” which has cost California taxpay- like me a bad name. ers more than $2 million. The half-dozen 909Jeff, via ocweekly.com bailiffs alone in Sheldon’s Kangaroo Court had to have cost several thou- CHOKING THE CHANGO sands. Sheldon’s a tired old man and deaf Next time, jerk off with your left hand to as a dog’s ass. try to straighten your Pito chueco [Gustavo He should’ve recused himself. But can Arellano’s ¡Ask a Mexican! Dec. 30, 2011]. he excuse himself? And what trial was the NGalvez, via ocweekly.com JURY watching? Rory Murray, via ocweekly.com DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS In Michelle Woo’s “The Lab Man” YELLOW JOURNALISM IS [Dec. 8, 2011], she wrote that Shaheen OUR NAME! Sadeghi was co-president of Quiksilver Good rundown [“What We Learned,” and once moved to Portland to work for Dec. 30, 2011] Thanks for pointing out Jantzen. Sadeghi was actually president Andrew Urdiales; I thought I was the (not co-) of Quiksilver and never lived in only one who thought it ridiculous Portland. Whoopsy-doodle! he’s being extradited here to face trial when he’s already serving life in Illinois. WANNA WORK WITH THE WEEKLY? “What we learned: Despite the economic Yes, Virginia, we’re hiring, even in this recession, as long as there’s a chance to godforsaken economy, because we believe lethally inject you, Orange County has in great local journalism. We’re looking no problem picking up your one-way for a staff writer to replace Nick Schou, travel bill.” who was just promoted to managing edi- Also, thanks for pointing out about tor (yay, Nick!). Applicants should have the Chamberlain beating: “What we the same investigative chops and drive learned: If you’re going to participate as Nick, and should have the same ease in the mass slaying of an OC jail inmate, in writing great cover stories as they do make sure the color of your uniform is with hard-hitting blog posts, but possess green, not orange!” a much better knowledge of American 949girl, via ocweekly.com football than Nick. We’re also looking for a web editor. We learned that the Weakly will run pic- Can you get us a kajillion blog hits every tures of Kelly Thomas’ ground-meat face day and be equally versed in hard news, at every opportunity. Why not make it culture and food without compromis- your masthead in 2012? We also learned ing your journalistic integrity? Then we that if it weren’t for 420 and rub ’n’ tug want you. ads, your paper would be four pages long Applicants interested in the two posi- and Gustavo would be mopping the floors tions should send a résumé and clips to as well as scrubbing the toilets. Andale [email protected], or via snail mail pues con el periodismo amarillo. to OC Weekly, attention: Gustavo Arellano, Edward R. Burro, via ocweekly.com 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626. No phone calls unless you’re THE RACIST. THE DEADBEAT. using Baba Booey clips, por favor. THE NAKED The vast majority of delusional people WRITE US! rant without really saying anything [email protected]; Fax: (714) 550-5908; [Hey, You! “Semper F-U,” Dec. 23, 2011]. Mail: Letters to the Editor, OC Weekly, 2975 That the writer continues to harass Red Hill Ave., Ste 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626. a man who has served his country is Letters may be edited for clarity & length. OC Weekly is located at 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626. (714) 550-5900. Display Advertising, (714) 550-5950; Classified Adver tising, (714) 550-5940; National Advertis ing, (888) 278-9866, ruxton.com; Fax, (714) 550-5908; Advertising Fax, (714) 550-5905; Classified Fax, (714) 550-5904; Circu la tion, (800) 405-2123; Website: www.ocweekly.com. The publication is free, one per reader. Removal of more than one paper from any distribution point constitutes theft, and violators are subject to prosecution. Please address all correspondence to OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626-5923; email: [email protected]. Published weekly (Thursday) by OC Weekly LP. Audit Bureau of Circulations (ABC) member applicant, initial audit pending. Subscription price: $30 for six months; $52 per year. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to OC Weekly at OC Weekly, 2975 Red Hill Ave., Ste. 150, Costa Mesa, CA 92626-5923. Application to mail at Periodi cals rates is pending at Costa Mesa, CA. Submissions of all kinds are welcome. Address them to the editor and include a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Copyright©2011, OC Weekly LP. All rights reserved. OC Weekly® is a trademark licensed to OC Weekly Media LP. 6 | january 6-12, 2012 | contents » letters « the county | feature | OcCaWleEnEKdLaY.rC O|M f|ood | film | cultur|e c |on tmenutss i»c l|etters « the | c oocunwtye e |k l fye.actourme | calendar ocweekly.com | | contents » letters « the county | feature | calendar | food | film | culture | music | january 6-12, 2012 | 7 the county » news|issues|commentary SEMPER FIDELIS, INDEED religious rite was also reported days earlier in a online Marine publication; the Times’ piece included identical quotes from two sources quoted in the Marine publication, which ran the same photo it made available to the Times. Ansar ran the Times’ story and accompanying photo without comment and unchanged except for a new headline slapped on by the editors: “Crusaders Bap- tized Before Leaving for Afghanistan.” The Times has given favorable cover- age to the cross, writing about it in four stories. What its reporting hasn’t done is question the cause of the people advocat- ing for it. The claim that the Pendleton cross is a war memorial, not a religious symbol, is challenged by a 2008 offi cial Marine Corps video on YouTube that shows at least one company of uniformed marines hauling a cross up a hill in what appears to be an offi cially sanc- tioned event, carrying the cross that was replaced by the Veterans Day cross. In the video, a female civilian accompanying the marines explains they are carrying it to “be as close as possible to God,” pointedly contradicting the public pronouncements the Times reports without skepticism (the woman in the video was also involved in MERANDA CARTER the Veterans Day event). Another You- Crossing Over Tube video from 2008, titled “3/1 Memo- rial March,” shows marines from the 3rd Battalion 1st Marine Regiment marching up the hill to gather around the cross as How the Los Angeles Times’ cozy relationship with Camp Pendleton a senior, non-commissioned offi cer reads hampers its coverage of religious controversies on the base from Scripture. It’s impossible to know if all the BY H.G. REZA marines in the videos are Christians, or if they willingly marched up the hill to Uniformity means the military has the event exclusively. Curiously, Perry and that those behind it were civilians. But if a ceremony that had religious meaning. rules for everything, from how to Loomis didn’t address the church-and- their Sergeant Schultz-like explanation What’s certain is that teamwork and con- position your feet when at atten- state question—not even the obligatory is true, it raises serious questions about formity, not individuality, are ingrained tion—heels together, toes pointed at a request for comment from the ACLU—in base security. Apparently, Marine sentries in military doctrine. So it’s doubtful a 45-degree angle—to the display of religious the original story. This was an odd lapse allowed a civilian, with a Times photogra- non-Christian or non-believer would symbols inside base chapels. Especially because Perry has also covered the pher in tow, to drive a truck with a 13-foot complain to a squad leader or platoon religious symbols. Military regulations do decades-long debate over a cross on Mt. cross in its bed onto the base without sergeant about being forced to attend a not allow them (whether crucifixes, Stars Soledad in San Diego, which also sits question. While Navy and Marine lawyers Christian religious ceremony—or, for that of David, crescents or any other icons) per- on Pentagon property. Last January, he ponder the Pendleton cross, the Army matter, a Christian who didn’t approve of manently displayed inside chapels, so one reported that a federal appeals court ruled ordered a cross removed from outside being taken to Jesus without his or her would think the answer to a question about the cross unconstitutional, handing a vic- a base chapel in Afghanistan a few days consent. Getting tagged as not being a displaying the same symbols on military tory to the ACLU and other plaintiffs. after the Times article ran. Here, the team player is as bad as being branded the bases would be a no-brainer. Despite claims it was a war memorial hon- rationale was simple: It violated Army one in the squad who can’t be depended But Navy and Marine Corps lawyers oring veterans of all faiths, the court ruled regulations prohibiting the permanent on when you walk into the shit. have been scratching their heads to fi nd the cross was primarily a Christian symbol. display of religious symbols. I haven’t had a reason to review the a rule—if there is one—about displaying a San Diego attorney Randall B. Hamud, So far, there are no reports that the American fi ghting man’s Code of Con- religious symbol on the base because of the the Military Association of Atheists and Taliban or al-Qaeda is using the Times duct recently. But 45 years ago, it began controversy stirred by a Los Angeles Times Freethinkers, and Americans United for story about the Pendleton cross as pro- with the purpose that “I serve in the article published on Veterans Day about a Separation of Church and State all ques- paganda. But a story that Perry reported forces which guard my country and our 13-foot cross planted atop a Camp Pendle- tioned the constitutionality of the Camp about another event at the base fi lled way of life” and ended with “I will trust ton hill. The structure replaced one put up Pendleton cross and asked the base’s with Christian symbolism ended up on a in my God and in the United States of in 2008 that in turn replaced one planted commanding offi cer, Colonel Nicholas terrorist website that translates and dis- America.” It did not say, “God who is in 2003 but later destroyed. Longtime San Marano, to order it removed. Hamud tributes jihadist propaganda and instruc- symbolized by a Christian cross.” Diego bureau chief Tony Perry and Pulitzer wrote in an opinion piece for the San tional materials. The English-language Prize-winning photographer Rick Loo- Diego Union-Tribune that the cross “vio- Ansar al-Mujahideen Web Forum serves H.G. Reza worked at the Los Angeles mis wrote that civilians and active-duty lated the Establishment Clause of the U.S. to “promote the mission” of al-Qaeda and Times for 25 years, 14 of them in Orange marines placed the Christian symbol to Constitution—the very Constitution for is a “key beacon for lone-wolf extremists,” County. He was an Army combat infantry- specifi cally honor four marines killed in which those four fallen marines—and all reported the Combating Terrorism Cen- man in Vietnam with MACV Advisory Iraq and generally pay tribute to all U.S. of our fallen military personnel in all our ter at West Point in a 2010 article in its Team 3, assigned to a six-man U.S. team military personnel—in other words, it was wars—sacrifi ced their lives.” Sentinel publication. Ansar posted Perry’s that lived and fought with a South Viet- ostensibly a war memorial. Critics immedi- Instead of making a command decision, August 2010 story about a mass baptism namese militia company. ately cried foul and demanded its removal though, Marano punted to military law- of marines in the ocean off Camp Pendle- from the base because it violated the sacro- yers. He equivocated, though base offi - ton before they deployed to Afghanistan. x » sanct separation of church and state. cials insisted they hadn’t authorized the That Times story included an offi cial BLOG ON NEWS The Times enjoys a friendly relation- erection of the cross, had no knowledge Marine Corps photo of a chaplain and an NAVEL GAZING ship with Camp Pendleton and reported it was being transported to the base and assistant baptizing a young marine. The BLOGS.OCWEEKLY.COM/NAVELGAZING 28 || mjanounathry 0 60--1020,, 22001121 | conten|ts c o|n tleentttse |rs l e »tte rtsh e» cthoeu cnotuyn t «y « f e faeatuturree || ccaalelnednadr a |r f|oo dfo |o d fi l m| |fi lcmul t u|r e c u| l tmuurseic | | music | | |o OcCwWeEeEkKlLyY..cCoOmM ¡ask a mexican!®» » GUSTAVO ARELLANO DEAR MEXICAN: In and anyone who tries to box it in or get their my hometown of chonis in a bunch about it are as deluded as Playa Larga (Long Rick Santorum. Beach, California), natives refer to a DEAR MEXICAN: Why is every overweight, WIN A COPY OF major avenida in our tattooed, goateed, bead-wearing, late- villa, Junipero Avenue model-Tahoe-driving, non-educated enchi- KILLER ELITE (named for Father Junipero Serra, lada in Texas a University of Texas fan? Inspired by true events, KILLER ELITE is an action- accused native genocider, a candidate Why not A&M or Tech? Or Baylor (that’s adventure spy film debuting on Blu-ray™ Combo Pack for sainthood—but I digress), as Juan- obvious)? And one more thing: Please stop with UltraViolet™ and DVD” January 10, 2012. a-pear-o. There is no “Juan” in Junipero, becoming belligerently drunk and taking it but that’s how everyone in this town personal when the team on your Walmart pronounces it. People who reside on 3XL T-shirt loses. You have no personal ties that street, real-estate agents, residents, to the team, so quit throwing up gang signs business owners—I even heard a former and using profanity in an atmosphere that’s We HAve Moved! mayor pronounce it that way. Why do meant to be fun. The drunk 19-year-old col- Open 7 days white Americans (and even some Guate- lege kid means no harm when he screams, a week malan-Americans) bend over backwards “Boomer!” so grow up and get a life. to pronounce Junipero as Juan-a-pear-o Frustrated Educated Okie to sound as though they know how to pronounce it as a Spanish speaker would, DEAR GABACHO: “Enchilada” as a slur yet it is the most garbled malapropism of against Mexicans? The 1950s called—they the word (which should be pronounced want their ethnic insult back. As for the fan “hoo-NEE-pear-o”)? question: same reason no one outside of Okla- Hombre Blanco de Playa Larga homa gives a shit about the Sooners. Subway alumni like winners in football, and the Long- DEAR GABACHO FROM LONG BEACH: horns are the epitome of a winning program Gotta say that in my lifetime of living in in the Lone Star State, while the Aggies, Southern California, I’ve never heard nadie Red Raiders, UTEP Miners, Texas Christian pronounce Junipero as you say people mispro- University, the University of Houston and nounce it—the malapropism I hear is “June- Texas’ many other college football programs 745 West Chapman Ave, Orange, CA 92868 IH-pear-oh,” a fascinating medley of the proper haven’t exhibited such gridiron dominance accent placement on the third-to-last syllable over the years. The Sooners haven’t domi- (714) 997-4389 finetattoowork.com in Junípero’s Spanish incarnation and a rigid nated college football since the days of Barry following of English grammatical structure. Switzer—you really expect non-Okies to give This is the wonderful world of the grammatical a damn about a third-rate university that just gabacho colonizing of the American South- played in something called the Insight Bowl? west, where Yankees decided to keep many of By the way, your Baylor dig is lost on me. the original Spanish names of territories, cities Because Baylor is a private university? USC and geographical landmarks, but Anglicize (the Trojans USC, not the Gamecocks one) is them—“Tex-as” instead of Teh-haas,” “Loss private and has more than a few wab alumni. An-ju-less” instead of “Loce AHNG-heh-les,” Typical Sooner solipsism—but what else can or “A-ri-zone-ah” instead of “Hell-on-Earth” we expect from a university that named itself (okay, in fairness to the Sonora dog, just the after invading illegals? Go Cowboys (both the parts of the state where Arpayaso and Brewer Dallas and Oklahoma State variants)! roam). Custodians of Cervantes, of course, cringe at gabachos’ mongrelization of Spanish- ASK THE MEXICAN language place names, and that’s a beautiful at [email protected], be his fan on thing: Remember that one of the few cardinal Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a rules of this columna is that language is fluid, video question at youtube.com/askamexicano! H Y ! BOX BROWN EY OU » ANONYMOUS O Come, All Ye Ass Muffins You’re the genius who decided to invite your entire family onto someone else’s lawn for a holiday photo. Let me explain something: When you go into a neighbor- hood where all the residents have been kind enough to put up an extravagant light show for those of us who are either too lazy to do numbnuts, keep off the fucking grass.” Those it or just can’t bear the thought of an electric residents are probably walking around the bill that looks as though it’s a SAT score, it’s neighborhood, and what they really want to sort of implied that you need to be on your see are the shining faces of children enjoying best behavior. It may not look like it to you, but their hard work, not the image of you and your that border of giant candy canes around the brood squatting in their manger. I hope Rudolph edge of someone’s lawn is meant to say, “Hey, pisses in your stocking, ass muffin. HEY, YOU! SEND ANONYMOUS THANKS, CONFESSIONS OR ACCUSATIONS—CHANGING OR DELETING THE NAMES OF THE GUILTY AND INNOCENT—TO “HEY, YOU!” C/O OC WEEKLY, 2975 RED HILL AVE., STE. 150, COSTA MESA, CA 92626, OR EMAIL US AT [email protected]. OoCcWwEeEeKkLlYy..CcOoMm | | | conten|ts c o|n tleentttse |rs l e »tte rtsh e» cthoeu cnotuyn t «y « f e faeatuturree || ccaalelnednadr a |r f|oo dfo |o d fi l m| |fi lcmul t u|r e c u| l tmuurseic | | music | mjoanntuha 0ry0 -60-01,2 2, 021011 2 | | 39 CAN THE ENFANT TERRIBLE’S HARSH WORDS AND CRISP MOVES REFORM THE CORPORATIZED SURF SCENE DOMINATED BY ORANGE COUNTY’S ACTION-SPORTS INDUSTRY? BY TIBBY ROTHMAN 210 | m| joannutha r0y0 6-0-102, ,2 2001112 | content|s c |o n tleentttse r|s l e|t te trhse | c tohue nctoyu n »ty »fe faetauturree «« ccaalelendnadra |r f|oo dfo |o dfi l m| |fi lcmul t u|r e c |u lmtuurseic || music | | |o OcCwWeEeEkKlLyY..cCoOmM