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ISBN: 978-1-62636-412-7 eISBN: 978-1-62873-876-6 Printed in China Table of Contents Prologue Annoyance Rating System Chapter 1: Significant Others and Children Husbands In the Kitchen Coffee Emptying the Trash Snoring Doing the Laundry The Art of Communication Miscellaneous Annoyances Wives and Girlfriends Children Restaurants A Meltdown Appearance of Children Out at the Store Around the House Electronics Parents and Their Children Miscellaneous Annoyances Chapter 2: Eating with Others Hearing Others Eat Watching Others Eat General Restaurant Annoyances Restaurant Waitstaff Common Table Manners Using Utensils Food Conversations Miscellaneous Annoyances Chapter 3: Working with Others Bosses Cubicles Messy Office Environment Food at Work Office Meetings Office Parties Interviews Part 1 Part 2 Miscellaneous Annoyances A Side Note: The Office “Jerk” Chapter 4: Being Served General Customer Service Virtual Help Desks Doctor’s Office Retail From the Store’s Point of View From the Customer’s Point of View Customers Annoying Other Customers Restaurants The Customer vs. the Waitstaff The Waitstaff vs. the Customer Fast-food Industry Chapter 5: Plugged In Telephones Cell Phones E-mail Voicemail Caller ID Chapter 6: Money Chapter 7: Daily Living Basic Manners Interactions with People How Others Look Youthful Fashion Statements Chewing Gum and Spitting Touching Guests in Your Home Driving The Traveling Public Punctuality Procrastination The TV Handicap Parking Spaces Soliciting Pets Chapter 8: Communication New Verbiage Greetings Handshakes Kissing Hey, Dude! Cursing Talking in Quiet Spaces Boasting Names Speaking with Others Grammar and Usage Misinterpretations Conclusion Resources Prologue Annoyance: a source of vexation or irritation —-from Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, 10th Edition “T hat’s so annoying!” “I hate it when you do that!” “She has a terrible habit of doing these things when she is around me.” “He just won’t stop!” Everyday, we interact with a slew of people: significant others, children, salespeople, and strangers. Let’s face it—these people have the tendency to, at any given moment, get on our nerves. Other people’s behavior certainly can annoy us (and vice versa). This book is about bad habits, annoying behaviors, and how we can effectively deal with those around us who just don’t seem to understand proper social etiquette. I spent several years collecting observations, pet peeves, annoyances, and exasperations from clients, family, friends, and colleagues about ways in which people display annoying behavior. When I informed them that I was writing a book about other people’s annoying behavior, I was inundated with personal grievances and irritants from everyday life. As my research continued, I realized that many people had similar complaints about the ways people behave around them, whether it is in a restaurant, in written form, or even at home. I decided that it would be crucial to offer suggestions about dealing appropriately with such irksome situations. Along the way, I also received some very insightful responses about the state of etiquette in general, and I’ve included these thoughts (some names have been withheld at the request of the submitter). So now that we have established that people display annoying and obnoxious behavior on a daily basis (behavior that sometimes seems designed to ruin our day), we must also understand that how we react to these irksome individuals plays a key role in how we survive, and maintain sanity, in the world. Sometimes it feels as if the accused person is actually thinking, “If I do this particularly obnoxious thing, I will ruin someone’s day” but, in all honesty, this is probably not the case. We spend every day assessing the importance of other people’s behavior to our happiness: “Is this going to affect my day?” “Am I really going to let this bother me?” When we spend so much time getting bothered by others, we take precious time away from achieving our daily tasks and enjoying the moment. For instance, we are home with our friends or family. It is relaxation time and we turn on the television, but we are unable to relax because so-and-so is typing loudly on the computer or what’s-her-face is talking on the phone on the couch next to you. What those around us do while the television is on can be considered rude and annoying, but how we learn to react to those people’s obnoxious behavior will ultimately determine how much we will enjoy our TV viewing experience. Look at it this way: When you see mishaps and missteps on television—the guy who falls, the woman who loses her temper—the laugh track begins and lightens up the moment. If we carried our own laugh track and chose to laugh at others’ bad behavior rather than allow it to grate on our nerves, our days would be happier and our relationships would be easier to maintain. It all depends on how we learn to react to annoyances around us. We can make that decision to let it roll off of us or to make a big deal about it. Wouldn’t life be more fun if you just let it go? For those who sometimes just can’t let it go, this book will offer solutions you should try in response to the perpetrator according to the rules of proper etiquette. While you are reading the following chapters, I would like you to keep in mind not only the lessons you’ll learn about effectively dealing with annoying people and behaviors, but also how your own behavior may affect those around you. Are you patient, empathetic, kind, tolerant, and forgiving? Or . . . are you the first one to think or say, “That’s so annoying!”