Misconception Families in Focus Series Editors Anita Ilta Garey, University of Connecticut Naomi R. Gerstel, University of Massachusetts, Amherst Karen V. Hansen, Brandeis University Rosanna Hertz, Wellesley College Margaret K. Nelson, Middlebury College Katie L. Acosta, Amigas y Amantes: Sexually Nonconforming Latinas Negotiate Family Anita Ilta Garey and Karen V. Hansen, eds., At the Heart of Work and Family: Engaging the Ideas of Arlie Hochschild Katrina Kimport, Queering Marriage: Challenging Family Formation in the United States Mary Ann Mason, Nicholas H. Wolfinger, and Marc Goulden, Do Babies Matter? Gender and Family in the Ivory Tower Jamie L. Mullaney and Janet Hinson Shope, Paid to Party: Working Time and Emotion in Direct Home Sales Markella B. Rutherford, Adult Supervision Required: Private Freedom and Public Constraints for Parents and Children Barbara Wells, Daughters and Granddaughters of Farmworkers: Emerging from the Long Shadow of Farm Labor Misconception Social Class and Infertility in America Ann V. Bell Rutgers University Press New Brunswick, New Jersey, and London Library of Congress Cataloging- in- Publication Data Bell, Ann V., 1980– Misconception : social class and infertility in America / Ann V. Bell. pages cm. —  (Families in focus) Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 978– 0– 8135– 6480– 7 (hardcover : alk. paper) — ISBN 978– 0– 8135– 6479– 1 (pbk. : alk. paper) — ISBN 978– 0–8 135– 6481– 4 (e- book) 1. Infertility, Female— United States. 2. Fertility, Human— United States. 3. Poor women— United States. 4. Social classes— United States. I. Title. RG201.B37 2014 618.1’7806— dc23 2013046600 A British Cataloging- in- Publication record for this book is available from the British Library. Copyright © 2014 by Ann V. Bell All rights reserved No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher. Please contact Rutgers University Press, 106 Somerset Street, New Brunswick, NJ 08901. The only exception to this prohibition is “fair use” as defined by U.S. copyright law. Visit our website: http://rutgerspress.rutgers.edu Manufactured in the United States of America For Tony Contents Acknowledgments ix Introduction: Conceiving Infertility 1 1 “That’s What I’m Supposed to Be”: Why Women Want to Mother 13 2 “I’m Good at the Job”: How Women Achieve “Good” Motherhood 23 3 “Getting Pregnant’s a Piece of Cake”: Trying to Mother 40 4 “Socioeconomically It Would Be Much More Difficult”:The Lived Experience of Infertility 53 5 “Whatever Gets Me to the End Point”: Resolving Infertility 83 6 “So What Can You Do?”: Coping with Infertility 112 Conclusion: (Re)conceiving Infertility 133 Appendix: Methodology 141 Notes 149 References 151 Index 161 vii Acknowledgments Although there is only one name on the cover of this book, it was entirely a team effort, impossible without the support of numerous players. Thanks to each of you from the bottom of my heart. Rutgers University Press, particularly Peter Mickulas, has been amazing. You made a difficult process easy and enjoyable. I owe a very special thank you to the editors of the Family in Focus series. Rosanna Hertz got the ball rolling, and Peggy Nelson provided invaluable thoughtful feedback that improved the manuscript immensely. Without the encouragement, mentoring and support from my graduate advisors, Renee Anspach and Karin Martin, this book would still be just an idea. Renee took the time to help me improve my writing through line- by- line edits and frank, but necessary, constructive criticism. Her knowledge of the field and the breadth and depth of her network and references are impressive and contributed much to the manuscript. I owe a very special thank you to Karin. I call her my “guardian angel”: as my undergraduate advisor she developed my interest in sociology, and as my graduate mentor she guided my research. I would not be where I am professionally without her guidance and assistance. I only hope to be half the scholars, mentors, and teachers that Karin and Renee were and are to me. I would not be where I am today without the incredible love and sup- port from my family. Thank you, Dad, for teaching me how to think crit- ically and reminding me that even Mickey Mantle strikes out sometimes. Thank you, Mom, for always being there to listen and always knowing what to say. I could not have written this book without the bravery and willingness of the participants to come forward and share their stories. Thank you to ix