“ “ THE BEST LIFE COACHING IS MIND COACHING PROFESSOR JOHN ADAIR SSMMAARRTTEENN UUPP TTHHEE WWAAYY YYOOUU TTHHIINNKK,, AACCHHIIEEVVEE TTHHEE GGOOAALLSS YYOOUU WWAANNTT GGEERRRRYY KKUUSSHHEELL Inside front cover MIND LAUNDRY SMARTEN UP THE WAY YOU THINK, ACHIEVE THE GOALS YOU WANT GERRY KUSHEL Published by Thorogood 10-12 Rivington Street London EC2A 3DU Telephone: 020 7749 4748 Fax: 020 7729 6110 Email: [email protected] Web: www.thorogood.ws © Gerry Kushel 2004 © Mind Laundry concept and format – Thorogood Publishing Ltd 2004 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher. This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed upon the subsequent purchaser. No responsibility for loss occasioned to any person acting or refraining from action as a result of any material in this publication can be accepted by the author or publisher. Special discounts for bulk quantities of Thorogood books A CIP catalogue record for this book is are available to corporations, available from the British Library. institutions,associations and other organisations.For more PB: ISBN 1 85418 234 X information contact Thorogood by telephone on 020 7749 4748, Cover and book designed by fax on 020 7729 6110,or by Driftdesign e-mail us:[email protected] Printed in India by Replika Press This book is dedicated with great love and affection to all my family members and especially to our grandson Alexander Raymond Davis. Dr Gerald Kushel Contents Introduction 1 PART ONE Getting your mind to work for you 3 Overview 4 PROGRAMME ONE 6 1 The meaning of ‘full’ and ‘satisfying’ 7 The meaning of ‘full’ 7 You can successfully chase ‘satisfaction’ 11 Calm, purpose and adventure are universals 12 Never at the expense of any other person 13 The pursuit of life satisfaction is urgent 14 2 Making the commitment 17 Exercise 1: Your five year plan 17 Exercise 2: Things you hope to achieve before your life is over 18 Exercise 3: Bad news from the doctor 19 Exercise 4: Your epitaph 21 Exercise 5: One hour, one person 22 Exercise 6: I’m sorry that… 23 Exercise 7: Urgent vs important goals 25 Exercise 8: From this, my short life, I want… 27 Exercise 9: Inheritance with strings attached 29 PROGRAMME TWO 30 3 Understanding your thought processes 31 Transcending your own social and genetic programme, if need be 32 Thoughts create feelings 34 Thoughts create behaviour 35 4 Building your own effective thought file 39 The power of thought choosing 39 Dealing with loss 43 A starter file of effective thoughts 45 5 Uncomplicated but effective, thoughts 67 Some uncomplicated thoughts that can be ‘effective’ 67 Subtle differences in words 70 6 Managing your effective thought files 77 ‘Lines’ or ‘combinations’ of effective thoughts 77 Some effective thoughts on being treated unfairly 78 Organise effective thoughts for specific purposes 82 Practice giving yourself some effective advice 83 7 Proactive thought choosing (Plan A) 87 The Bodymind Theatre 88 Visualisation 96 8 Pausing to win 101 We have all been ‘hypnotised’ 101 Breaking a self-defeating mindset 102 A new mindset 106 Mindset exercises 107 Exercise 1: The nine dots 108 Exercise 2: The mop, cop, hop routine 109 Exercise 3: The capital gimmick 109 9 Subconscious strategies (Plan B) 111 Some Plan Bs 111 Effective thought (prepared in advance) 120 Exercise: Practice, practice, practice 122 10 Accessing your hidden identity 125 Who are you? 125 Exercise 125 Define yourself 128 Inner vs outer self 129 Your inner metaphor 135 Accessing your hidden identity 138 11 Managing your emotions 145 Control is not repression 147 Fear 147 Overcoming unwanted anger 149 Overcoming worry 150 Overcoming useless guilt 153 Overcoming useless jealousy 155 Enjoying 158 Part One Summary 159 Closing reminders 162 PART TWO How to successfully interrelate with others 163 Overview 164 PROGRAMME THREE 166 12 Analysing your effect on others 167 Exercise 169 PROGRAMME FOUR 178 13 Being assertive, effectively 179 You influence others 180 Have realistic expectations 180 Acting assertively is a game 180 People treat you the way that you teach them to treat you 181 Being assertive in the here and now 183 Don’t wait too long 184 Let your hair down from time to time 185 Self-trust 186 Lecturing assertively: a personal experience 187 Stand up for your rights 189 Resiliency 190