Married people can also accomplish Brahmacharya Gnani Purush Dadashri EDITORIAL The strangeness of sexuality in this Kaal—current era of the time cycle, is such that one behaves as if he has never seen a ‘hotel’ (place of sexual gratification) and as if he has never had ‘tea’ (sexual pleasure). During such time one does not have the conscious-awareness about the results and potential dangers of indiscriminate sexuality. The custom of marriage sets the borders of sexuality for the benefit of the human beings involved. If one sets some limit to be sexual with the partner that is rightfully his, then he can hope to be born again as a human being. Indulgence in illicit sexual gratification will lead to a birth in animal life form and thus ruin many a life times to come. www.dadashri.org It is considered very difficult to practice brahmacharya (freedom from all sexual impulses through thoughts, speech and acts) in such a Kaal—current time cycle of Kaliyug, yet in this time, the absolutely revered Gnani Purush Dadashri Himself practiced brahmacharya and he has been able to give the right understanding about it to others and thus let them practice it without much diiculty. Dadashri has explained such steps to the married people that to bring about changes in conduct is an effect, a result, yet one can change the underlying understanding which will gradually bring changes in outer action. Dadashri assures with a guarantee that in this day and age sexual relation with only the spouse is considered brahmacharya. So then why should not the married people get the understanding according to Gnani’s vision and attain the goal of brahmacharya? This Dadavani explores whether there is any meaningful happiness in married life. Having attained the experiences in married life, the goal is to progress further through meaningful inner development. If one attains the bottom line of married life and its experience, then he has indeed risen over and conquered that step. The worldly life sansar is to attain such a gain in the net experiences towards liberation. But alas! The married one believes that sex is indeed pleasure and happiness, and that is where the Gnani Purush raises a red flag. Shrimad Rajchandra also addresses in his own experienced utterances that it is not a fault of a woman for the illusionary attraction to sexuality; it is the fault of the worldly self (vyavahar atma). When this mistake that deludes ceases, then whatever one sees is filled with bliss only. Therefore to become free from the illusionary attraction to sexuality is the absolute inquisitiveness. Gnani Purush Dadashri gives the understanding of brahmacharya to spiritual seekers and gives them all the solutions clarifying the grave dangers and harm from sexuality, and explains that which is beneficial versus that which is harmful for the one on the path of moksha—liberation. How may one progress further in brahmacharya and can reach up to taking the vow of brahmacharya and can have clear, distinct experience of the Self? All the steps are compiled in this Dadavani. This will give guidance to the one who is on the path of liberation. ~Deepak Desai Married people can also accomplish Brahmacharya www.dadashri.org Attain the critical experience of the ‘pleasure’ Questioner: Nowadays the marriages in Hindu society are arranged by parents and later many of these marriages do not succeed; and the partners have to put up with the suffering the rest of the life. So is there any way to prevent the suffering that follows? Dadashri: If one gets married by his or her choice then also it can happen and if they enter into an arranged marriage then also it may happen. This is because another name for marriage is verily bhangfoda braking and splitting. It will not stay without breaking and splitting. Questioner: Is that so Dada? We designed (within) and picked a beautiful watermelon and brought it home… Dadashri: You brought a watermelon and when you cut it, it may turn out to be white or red from inside. This is because the marriage itself is bhangfoda—breaking and splitting; why then is marriage beneficial? Why it is mandatory? It develops a human being with repeated clashing and conflicts. It is the instrument by which every living being develops. Through the experiences of repeated clashes and conflicts, one progresses further. Questioner: So it is also a step on the path of moksha—liberation, is it not? Dadashri: That is verily the step. Marraige is verily the step. A woman is verily a step. For a woman, a man is a step. They will clash and fight to exhaustion, only then, they can go to moksha—liberation. From this they will attain the inner understanding that it is not worth getting married. Thereafter, no matter how lovely she may be; he will say, ‘It is not worth a lifetime of misery, the heck with this sansar worldly life!’ That is why I am telling you that after getting married, evaluate, assess critically and come to the true understanding taaran. In that taaran you will come to know that it is nothing but bhangfoda breaking and splitting! Now people do not know how to evaluate and arrive at an understanding within. So what do they do? They continue to blame the marriage partner and consequently bind karma for an effect in the next life. He continues to blame her and consequently binds www.dadashri.org karma, which will make him wander in the animal kingdom for infinite life times. If one assesses critically, then he will understand that the right thing to do is to evaluate the profit! One has to ‘see’ what has been experienced. Marriage is not for the habit of pursuit of pleasure; it is for the experience. ‘We—the Gnani Purush and the fully enlightened Self’ had extracted the total essence of the experience. Young ladies ask me whether they should get married or not? I replied, ‘look, you cannot do without getting married and after getting married you cannot do without regretting. The reason is that everything is going to give you gnan experiential knowledge and if you have come here in this life with your previous life’s net experience, and if you can do without it then go ahead and remain single. Otherwise it is not a fault or a wrong deed to get married. It is such that it will give you the experiential knowledge gnan . It will give you the guiding knowledge from a higher source within updesh- gnan). Didn’t you get such gnan? Questioner: I got a lot, Dada. Dadashri: Yes. And if one would have become just that without getting married… to do jagat kalyan world’s salvation, then it will hurt in his mind a little. It will bother him in his mind that it would have been better if I had married. It will bother him the whole life. Now this will not bother him or her at all. Questioner: Dada, if I had not married then I would not have understood what this world is all about at all, and what all this is. Dadashri: So I had a thought that this poor young lady is not getting married, and therefore everybody in the family keep reminding her that she is still a spinster, over and over again. I gave her the understanding that, ‘sister, it is worth getting married in this world. You will have to regret after getting married, however it is definitely worth getting married in this world.’ She replied, ‘ but I felt… I just thought at this time. I thought why had I brought up this topic, like this? I just found out that this is beneficial.’ Otherwise it would have bothered her that it would have been better if she had gotten married! Now it is clear-cut. ‘Are you going to get married?” Then she replies, ‘no. I have taken Gnan and am Self-realized now.’ www.dadashri.org If one ‘sees’, what the problem is in getting married, then that experience has to come, does it not? Otherwise the mind will constantly wonder, what if…’ You all did experience, didn’t you? Questioner: Yes, Dada. Dadashri: You used to believe that such problems arise because one marries a Brahmin, so then you married a Jain, but you found out in that too, didn’t you? You finished ‘seeing’ that experience too, didn’t you? Even that experience is coming forth, is it not? Questioner: (Another young person) Now I have stopped the prior decision of wanting to be married for sure. Dadashri: ‘We’ also attained all the experiences with Hiraba (Wife of A.M.Patel). Later, ‘we’ arrived at the taaran experiential understanding that, ‘brother, now I have experienced.’ But if I harass and prod her, and she returns the favor, then again some trouble will remain. Instead let’s clean the account. So, ‘clear cut’ means only that much; that is it. My intention bhaav will never spoil, with reference to her. Even if she were to do something wrong, my bhaav—way of seeing it, will not spoil. Why should we ruin that which is ours? I got these cards for this life so I have accept them as they are and be done with them, no? Deal with the cards as long as you can, and if you cannot, leave them. For how long can you hold on to a burning piece of charcoal? And if you burn…is there not a limit to everything? Questioner: Quite true, Dada. Dadashri: One regrets after getting married, but regret gives rise to gnan experiential knowledge in the relative realm. One should get the experiential knowledge, shouldn’t one? Can one get experiential knowledge just by reading a book? Can one have vairagya dispassion just by reading a book? Dispassion vairagya happens when repentance happens. Married life starts to dissolve (galan-discharge) from the time one gets married. One day everything will dissolve. That which was believed to be pleasure, turned out to be pain! Sexual interactions between man and woman begin the laying of the claims and demands for and against each other. This is because in sexual www.dadashri.org interaction, both claim to be the owner, there is only one ‘ownership’ between the two, whereas the mata viewpoint of the two are different! So if one wants to become free then it is worth not committing this offense and for the one for whom sexual interaction is mandatory then he or she has to settle the matter. Questioner: To prevent the entry into the offense, means one should not marry? Dadashri: To get married or not to get married it is not under your control satta. You should keep the decision and intent nischaya bhaav that it would be best if this were not to happen. Would anyone desire that he should fall from the train? Our desire is that it would be good if I do not fall off the fast moving train. Even then if you fall, then what can one do? Similarly your intent should be such that you will be better off not falling into marriage. Questioner: That means that getting married is equivalent to falling from the train? Dadashri: It is verily that way, but it—falling into a marriage—should indeed be the last resort. Questioner: Thereafter one has to take it as a drama naatak—that which does not last? Dadashri: Of course, there is no choice afterwards, is there? Questioner: There is so much peril and liability involved in marriage and the pleasure sukkha derived from sexual interaction is like that derived from scratching an eczematous lesion on the skin. So then all these people who have got married, is that because they did not have any choice? Why do they get married? Dadashri: People get married with pleasure and habit; they have the willingness and the desire to get married. They do not ‘know’ (experience) that there is pain dukkha in it. They know that after all, there is happiness. There is some loss, however after all it is a profitable thing; that is what people know. However in reality there is a total loss only. When one goes to the ‘income tax office—the repayment that is due’, then he realizes that it www.dadashri.org was all a loss only. And for that matter, we do not have the satta control in our hand, do we? It is not in our hand, in this life, is it? Now, in this life, if we learn the new ‘design’ thoroughly, then everything will clear up. That is why Krupadudev, the Gnani Purush Shrimad Rajchandra, had said, ‘If the illusion that arises the moment one looks, ends, then all suffering ends – Dekhat bhooli tadey to sarva dukhono kshaya thaaya.’ He himself admits that it is in ‘our’ Gnan that it is not worth falling in this, yet the moment I look, the mistake happens. Whereas, this Gnan of ours (Akram Vignan) is such that the illusion does not arise despite looking. This is because in ‘seeing-looking’ one ‘sees’ Shuddhatma—pure Soul and once you ‘see’ Shuddhatma, raag attachment will not arise. Through the thoughtful vision of Krupadudev… What has Krupadudev Shrimad Rajchandra written in a letter regarding, ‘My thoughts about woman and interactions with woman.’ ‘Through extreme clarity laden thinking processes, it has become established with finality and incontrovertibly siddha that uninterrupted bliss exists through the support, cover and grace of shuddha pure Gnan and that is the only place, where absolute samadhi—without any effects from physical, mental or externally induced disturbances—lies. The view that a woman (sex) is the highest source of pleasure is only the result of the imagination that arises out of deluded and tinted avaran vision drashti. But she is not that for sure. The location (vulva) by which one enjoys the pleasure through a woman is such that if one ‘sees’ it with discriminative vision, it will become evident that it is not even worthy of a vomiting act.’ What Krupadudev says is that it is not even a right place to vomit. Therefore vomit at another better place. Furthermore he says that, ‘All the padartha matter that retain lingering disgust (jugupsa) lie in the body of a woman and it is the birthplace of that.’ Why is it called the birthplace? It is called the birthplace because this birthplace gives birth to refuse of the same kind again and again. Questioner: What is meant by the word jugupsa disgust? Dadashri: Jugupsa means strong dislike filled irritation. All that provokes and has a lingering dislike with irritation chhiidha, are there in her. www.dadashri.org Hey you! Just because it is wrapped in a silk cover, does it mean all is fine and dandy? Krupadudev has written a lot, but what can the poor people understand? He writes, ‘Besides, that pleasure is momentary, remorseful and it is like scabies- ringworm skin infection which produces an intense desire to scratch. That vision of the act of intercourse and its appearance that has finished its impressions in the heart makes me laugh and wonder, ‘what a huge deception and loss of self clarity?’ In short, I just have to say that there is no pleasure sukkha in it all; if there is, then describe and see it in its totality without breaking it up.’ So check out this sexuality vishaya through intense repeated analysis, this is what Krupadudev is trying to say. If you want to smell its fragrance, why not put your nose to it, what do you think? Besides if you see that location in broad daylight with wide-open eyes, would you find it beautiful? Disgust filled irritation will arise from all angles! ‘So you will know that it is only because of the state of illusion moha dasha that this belief has arisen. I am not sitting here to give a discriminative commentary on a particular external organ of a woman, but rather for the discriminate vision so that the self (vyavahar atma– worldly self) must never be pulled there again. That is the intent of this natural indication and knowledge based directive. The fault dosha does not lie in the woman, it lies in the self (vyavahar atma – worldly self) and once that fault leaves, whatever the Self Atma ‘sees’ is wonderfully and extraordinarily blissful only. Hence, to be free from that dosha mistake is the absolute inquisition indeed.’ It is not a fault of the woman, it is the mistake of our fault, it is the fault of our understanding. Where is the fault of the female here? If it is the fault of a woman then these water buffalos are also women-females too, aren’t they? Why are people not pulled there? We feel ‘pulled’ attracted because our wrong understanding. When we get rid of that wrong understanding, everything will go away. Sooner or later, there is no choice but to get rid of this wrong understanding. This is the filth; there is so much terrible filth that I can’t get rid of that irritation at all. www.dadashri.org Conquer the king and you have conquered the whole kingdom Krupadudev has said that, ‘nirkhii ney nau yaovana, lesha na vishaya nidaan ganey kaashta nii pootadii, tey bhagawan samaan.’ ‘While seeing a young woman, when the slightest vibration of a sexual impulse does not arise, Such a one who sees and counts her as a doll of wood, is the one who is indeed like a God.’ -Shrimad Rajchandra We should not consider a woman as a wooden doll in the Akram path—step less path to Self-realization. We should see Atma—the Soul. People who follow the Kramic path—step-by-step path to Self-realization, will use the words, ‘doll of wood,’ but how long can this setting remain? The moment a little thought of sexuality arises, it, the wood doll setting, will go away. But what if wee see Shuddhatma? So if you see a woman with blossoming youthful beauty nauyaovna and if your chit (subtle component of vision and knowledge in the inner functioning instrument called antahkaran) gets captured, then at that place if you keep seeing Shuddhatma—pure Soul in her, then everything will go away, and the chit will be freed. You will rise over sexuality and thus conquer sexuality vishaya if you see Shuddhatma—the pure Self. Thus you will get the closure, otherwise you will not. ‘Aa agada sansar ni, ramani nayak rupa, Ey tyagi tyagyoon badhoo, keval shoka swarupa.’ ‘ Having renounced the queen of all that is beautiful in this world, Is equivalent to renouncing all that is the embodiment of grief.’ -Shrimad Rajchandra www.dadashri.org All the grief has arisen from that only. Once sexuality-woman is renounced, once one became free from her, everything is resolved. That is all the constant form of grief only. The whole day there is torment, anguish and distress only. One gets only unhappiness, then it leaves. Otherwise if it has possessed you, it will not leave you, will it? ‘Ek vishaya ney jitataa, jityo sau sansar Nrupati jeetata jeetiye, dara, pura ney adhikaar.’ ‘By conquering sex, you have conquered the worldly life, Just as conquering the King you have conquered the army, kingdom and power.’ -Shrimad Rajchandra When you conquer the King, you get everything; his army, kingdom and power. You get his whole army. You cannot conquer the King if you try to conquer the army. Similarly once you conquer this King of sexuality, you get the power and authority over everything. That is why ‘we’ remain free mukta, are ‘we’ not? This sex is the only subject of all subjects vishaya that if you conquer, you can have the full power and realm of the royal throne. ‘We’ do not have even a single thought about sex. Gnan and meditation as the Self will go away… ‘Vishaya rupa ankoor thii, tady Gnan ney dhyana, Lesh madira paan thii, chhakey jyum agnan.’ ‘To get absorbed and carried away by the sprouting thought of sexuality, Is equivalent to losing control of all awareness and knowledge after drinking a little wine.’ www.dadashri.org