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E d i t Tam TSaamng Searn isg earn i isn adne pinednedpeenntd reenset arrecsheearr.c Hheerr. pHuebrl ipcuabtiloicnast iionnclsu idnec lTurdaen sT Praenosp Plee’osp le’s e d PartnPearrsthnieprss:h Tiopws:a Trodws aarnd Est ahnic Est ohfi cIns toimf Inactiym (a2c0y1 (02)0, T1r0a)n, sT rGaonvs eGrnomveernntmaelintyt:a Tlihtye : The b ProdPurcotidounc tainodn Raengdu Rlaetgiuolna toifo Gn eonf dGeernedd eSruebdj eScutbivjeitciteisv,i t(iJeosu, r(nJoaul ornf aGle onfd Geer nSdtuedr Sietsu, dies, y 20082)0 a0n8d) Tarnadn sTgraennsdgeer nIddeenrt Iidtieenst: iTtoiews:a Trodws aa rSdosc aia Slo Acniaall yAsnisa olyfs Gise onfd Geer nDdiveerr Dsiitvye (r2si0ty1 0(2, 0 10, T co-edciot-eedd witeitdh wSaitlhly S Hailnlye Hs)i. nes). a m YvetYtev eTtatyel oTra yisl oPrr oisf ePsrsoofre sinso Sro icni aSlo acniadl Paonldic Pyo Slitcuyd Sietsu danieds Haneda dH oefa tdh oef W theee Wks eCeeknst Cree ntre S for Sofocria Sl oacnidal P aonldic yPo Rleicsye aRrecshe, aLrocnhd, Loonn Sdoount hSo Buatnhk B Uannikv eUrnsiitvye, rUsiKty. ,H UeKr .r Heceern rte cpeunbtl ipcuatbiloicnast ions a n incluidnec lFuidttein Fgit Itnintog PInlatoc eP?la Cclea?s sC alansds G aenndd Geer nGdeeorg Graepohgrieasp ahnieds T aenmdp Toemraplitoireasl i(t2ie0s1 (22)0, 12), g LesbiLaens bainadn G aanyd PGaarye nPtairnegn: tSinegcu: Sriencgu Srioncgia Slo acniadl E adnudc Eadtiuocnaatli oCnaapli tCaalp (i2t0al0 (92)0, W09o)r, kWinogr-king- e r EdEitdeitde db yb Tya Tma mS aSnagnegre r ClassC Lleassbs iLaens bLiifaen: CLilfaes: sCelda sOseudts Oiduetrssi d(2e0rs0 (72)0 a0n7d) Eadnudc Eadtiuocnaatli oDnivael rDsiitvye r(s2it0y1 (22)0.12). a n anadn Yd vYevtetett Tea Tyaloyrlor d Y v e ISBN I9S7B8N- 09-7283-00--3253600-23-53602-3 tt 9019001101 e T a y l 9 7890273800233506032536023 o r wwww.pwawlg.rpaavleg.rcaovme.com Content Type: Black & White Paper Type: White Page Count: 274 File type: Internal PalgraveMacmillanStudiesinFamilyandIntimateLife Titlesinclude: GrahamAllan,GrahamCrowandSheilaHawker STEPFAMILIES HarrietBecher FAMILYPRACTICESINSOUTHASIANMUSLIMFAMILIES ParentinginaMulti-FaithBritain ElisaRoseBirch,AnhT.LeandPaulW.Miller HOUSEHOLDDIVISIONSOFLABOUR Teamwork,GenderandTime AnnBuchananandAnnaRotkirch FERTILITYRATESANDPOPULATIONDECLINE NoTimeforChildren? DeborahChambers SOCIALMEDIAANDPERSONALRELATIONSHIPS OnlineIntimaciesandNetworkedFriendship RobbieDuschinskyandLeonAntonioRocha(editors) FOUCAULT,THEFAMILYANDPOLITICS JacquiGabb RESEARCHINGINTIMACYINFAMILIES StephenHicks LESBIAN,GAYANDQUEERPARENTING Families,Intimacies,Genealogies ClareHoldsworth FAMILYANDINTIMATEMOBILITIES RachelHurdley HOME,MATERIALITY,MEMORYANDBELONGING KeepingCulture PeterJackson(editor) CHANGINGFAMILIES,CHANGINGFOOD RiittaJallinojaandEricWidmer(editors) FAMILIESANDKINSHIPINCONTEMPORARYEUROPE RulesandPracticesofRelatedness LynnJamieson,RuthLewisandRoonaSimpson(editors) RESEARCHINGFAMILIESANDRELATIONSHIPS ReflectionsonProcess DavidMorgan RETHINKINGFAMILYPRACTICES EriikkaOinonen FAMILIESINCONVERGINGEUROPE AComparisonofForms,StructuresandIdeals RóisínRyan-Flood LESBIANMOTHERHOOD Gender,FamiliesandSexualCitizenship SallySales ADOPTION,FAMILYANDTHEPARADOXOFORIGINS AFoucauldianHistory TamSanger TRANSPEOPLE’SPARTNERSHIPS TowardsanEthicsofIntimacy TamSangerandYvetteTaylor(editors) MAPPINGINTIMACIES Relations,Exchanges,Affects ElizabethB.Silva TECHNOLOGY,CULTURE,FAMILY InfluencesonHomeLife LisaSmyth THEDEMANDSOFMOTHERHOOD Agents,RolesandRecognitions YvetteTaylor EDUCATIONALDIVERSITY TheSubjectofDifferenceandDifferentSubjects PalgraveMacmillanStudiesinFamilyandIntimateLife SeriesStandingOrderISBN978–0–230–51748–6hardback 978–0–230–24924–0paperback (outsideNorthAmericaonly) Youcanreceivefuturetitlesinthisseriesastheyarepublishedbyplacingastandingorder.Please contactyourbookselleror,incaseofdifficulty,writetousattheaddressbelowwithyourname andaddress,thetitleoftheseriesandtheISBNquotedabove. CustomerServicesDepartment,MacmillanDistributionLtd,Houndmills,Basingstoke,Hampshire RG216XS,England AlsobyTamSanger: Hines,D.andSanger,T.(2010)TransgenderIdentities:TowardsaSocialAnalysisofGenderDiversity NewYorkandLondon:Routledge. Sanger, T. (2010) Trans People’s Partnerships: Towards an Ethics of Intimacy Basingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan. AlsobyYvetteTaylor: Taylor,Y.(2007)Working-classLesbianLife:ClassedOutsidersPalgraveMacmillan. Taylor, Y. (2009) Lesbian and Gay Parenting: Securing Social and Educational Capital Palgrave Macmillan. Taylor,Y.(2012)FittingintoPlace?ClassandGenderGeographiesandTemporalitiesAshgate Taylor,Y.(ed.2010)ClassedIntersections:Spaces,Selves,KnowledgesAshgate. Taylor,Y.,Hines,S.andCasey,M.(eds.)(2010)TheorizingIntersectionalityandSexualityPalgrave Macmillan. Hines,S.andTaylor,Y(eds.)(2012)Sexualities:ReflectionsandFuturesPalgraveMacmillan Taylor,Y.(ed)(2012)EducationalDiversity:TheSubjectofDifferenceandDifferentSubjectsPalgrave Macmillan Taylor,Y.andAddison,M.(eds.)(2013)QueerPresencesandAbsencesPalgraveMacmillan Taylor,Y.(ed)(2014)TheEntrepreneurialUniversity.PublicEngagements,IntersectingImpactsPalgrave Macmillan Mapping Intimacies Relations, Exchanges, Affects Editedby Tam Sanger Independentacademic,UK and Yvette Taylor LondonSouthBankUniversity,UK Selection,introductionandeditorialmatter©TamSangerand YvetteTaylor2013 Individualchapters©Respectiveauthors2013 Softcover reprint of the hardcover 1st edition 2013 Allrightsreserved.Noreproduction,copyortransmissionofthis publicationmaybemadewithoutwrittenpermission. Noportionofthispublicationmaybereproduced,copiedortransmitted savewithwrittenpermissionorinaccordancewiththeprovisionsofthe Copyright,DesignsandPatentsAct1988,orunderthetermsofanylicence permittinglimitedcopyingissuedbytheCopyrightLicensingAgency, SaffronHouse,6–10KirbyStreet,LondonEC1N8TS. Anypersonwhodoesanyunauthorizedactinrelationtothispublication maybeliabletocriminalprosecutionandcivilclaimsfordamages. Theauthorshaveassertedtheirrightstobeidentifiedastheauthorsofthis workinaccordancewiththeCopyright,DesignsandPatentsAct1988. Firstpublished2013by PALGRAVEMACMILLAN PalgraveMacmillanintheUKisanimprintofMacmillanPublishersLimited, registeredinEngland,companynumber785998,ofHoundmills,Basingstoke, HampshireRG216XS. PalgraveMacmillanintheUSisadivisionofStMartin’sPressLLC, 175FifthAvenue,NewYork,NY10010. PalgraveMacmillanistheglobalacademicimprintoftheabovecompanies andhascompaniesandrepresentativesthroughouttheworld. Palgrave®andMacmillan®areregisteredtrademarksintheUnitedStates, theUnitedKingdom,Europeandothercountries. ISBN 978-1-349-34731-5 ISBN 978-1-137-31342-3 (eBook) DOI 10.1057/9781137313423 Thisbookisprintedonpapersuitableforrecyclingandmadefromfully managedandsustainedforestsources.Logging,pulpingandmanufacturing processesareexpectedtoconformtotheenvironmentalregulationsofthe countryoforigin. AcataloguerecordforthisbookisavailablefromtheBritishLibrary. AcatalogrecordforthisbookisavailablefromtheLibraryofCongress. Contents SeriesEditors’Preface vii Acknowledgements ix NotesonContributors x Introduction 1 TamSangerandYvetteTaylor Part I EmbodiedExchanges:Choice,Risk,Value 1 TheTiesThatBind:Intimacy,Class,Sexuality 15 YvetteTaylor 2 TransnationalIntimacies:ExamplesfromCambodia 35 HeidiHoefinger 3 LesbianLoveandtheTroublesomeSpermDonor:Intimacy, NormalityandMoralityinNewStoriesaboutConception 54 PetraNordqvist 4 DiscoursesofFemale-to-FemaleSTITransmission:OftheDent inIdentityandMomentsofFixing 73 AnneRudolph Part II (Dis)orderingRelations:Violence,Violation, Volition 5 OnPuttingDownandDestroying:AffectiveEconomiesofa Women-OnlyClubinIstanbul 95 EvrenSavcı 6 QueeringCareinLaterLife:TheLivedExperiencesand IntimaciesofOlderLesbian,GayandBisexualAdults 112 AndrewKingandAnnCronin 7 ‘SheExpectedHerWomentobePretty,Subservient,Dinneron theTableatSix’:ProblematisingtheNarrativeof EgalitarianisminLesbianRelationshipsthroughAccountsof Woman-to-WomanPartnerAbuse 130 RebeccaBarnes v vi Contents 8 BlueRinseBlues?OlderLesbians’ExperiencesofDomestic Violence 150 MeganTodd Part III Intimacies:AffectiveProximitiesandDistances 9 TransPeople’sPartnerships:RethinkingtheLimitsofRelating 171 TamSanger 10 PolyamorousIntimacies:FromOneLovetoManyLovesand BackAgain 190 MegBarker,JamieHeckertandEleanorWilkinson 11 IntimacyinTimesof(De)normalisation:Same-SexRelational RecognitioninPortugal 209 AnaCristinaSantos 12 ‘Non-Normative’FamilyLives?MappingMigrantYouth’s FamilyandIntimateRelationshipsacrossNationalDividesand SpatialDistance 228 TraceyReynoldsandElisabettaZontini Index 248 Series Editors’ Preface The remit of the Palgrave Macmillan Studies in Family and Intimate Life seriesistopublishmajortexts,monographsandeditedcollectionsfocusing broadly on the sociological exploration of intimate relationships and fam- ily organisation. As editors, we think such a series is timely. Expectations, commitmentsandpracticeshavechangedsignificantlyinintimaterelation- ship and family life in recent decades. This is very apparent in patterns of family formation and dissolution, demonstrated by trends in cohabita- tion, marriage and divorce. Changes in household living patterns over the last 20 years have also been marked, with more people living alone, adult children living longer in the parental home, and more ‘non-family’ house- holds being formed. Furthermore, there have been important shifts in the wayspeopleconstructintimaterelationships.Therearefewcomfortablecer- tainties about the best ways of being a family man or woman, with once conventionalgenderrolesnolongerbeingwidelyaccepted.Thenormative connectionbetweensexualrelationshipsandmarriageormarriage-likerela- tionships is also less powerful than it once was. Not only is greater sexual experimentation accepted, but it is now accepted at an earlier age. More- over,heterosexualityisnolongertheonlymodeofsexualrelationshipgiven legitimacy. In Britain as elsewhere, gay male and lesbian partnerships are nowsociallyandlegallyendorsedtoadegreehardlyimaginableinthemid- twentieth century. Increases in lone-parent families, the rapid growth of different types of step-family, the de-stigmatisation of births outside mar- riage,andtheriseincouples‘living-apart-together’(LATs)allprovidefurther examples of the ways that ‘being a couple’, ‘being a parent’ and ‘being a family’havediversifiedinrecentyears. Thefactthatchangesinfamilylifeandintimaterelationshipshavebeen sopervasivehasresultedinrenewedresearchinterestfromsociologistsand otherscholars.Increasingamountsofpublicfundinghavebeendirectedto familyresearchinrecentyears,intermsofbothindividualprojectsandthe creation of family research centres of different hues. This research activ- ity has been accompanied by the publication of some very important and influential books exploring different aspects of shifting family experience, in Britain and elsewhere. The Palgrave Macmillan Studies in Family and Inti- mate Life series hopes to add to this list of influential research-based texts, therebycontributingtoexistingknowledgeandinformingcurrentdebates. Ourmainaudienceconsistsofacademicsandadvancedstudents,thoughwe intendthatthebooksintheserieswillbeaccessibletoamoregeneralread- ershipwhowishtounderstandbetterthechangingnatureofcontemporary familylifeandpersonalrelationships. vii viii SeriesEditors’Preface We see the remit of the series as wide. The concept of ‘family and intimate life’ is interpreted in a broad fashion. While the focus of the series is clearly sociological, we take family and intimacy as being inclu- sive rather than exclusive. The series covers a range of topics concerned with family practices and experiences, including, for example, partnership; marriage;parenting;domesticarrangements;kinship;demographicchange; intergenerational ties; life course transitions; step-families; gay and lesbian relationships; lone-parent households and also non-familial intimate rela- tionshipssuchasfriendships.Wealsowishtofostercomparativeresearch,as wellasresearchonunder-studiedpopulations.Theseriesincludesdifferent forms of book. Most are theoretical or empirical monographs on particu- larsubstantivetopics,thoughsomemayalsohaveastrongmethodological focus.Inaddition,weseeeditedcollectionsasalsofallingwithintheseries’ remit, as well as translations of significant publications in other languages. Finally, we intend that the series has an international appeal, in terms of both topics covered and authorship. Our goal is for the series to provide a forum for family sociologists conducting research in various societies, and notsolelyinBritain. GrahamAllan,LynnJamiesonandDavidMorgan Acknowledgements Tam:ThankyoutoYvetteTaylorforherenthusiasmandhardwork,seeing this book through to fruition. Thank you also to all the authors who have worked hard to meet deadlines and shared their fascinating research with usinsuchengagingandenjoyableways.Alsotoeveryonewehaveworked withatPalgravewhohavehelpedmakethisassmoothajourneyaspossible. Immense thanks to the ‘Enduring Love?’ team for making me feel so wel- comeandre-inspiringme,andtoeveryonewhohasbeensoopenwithme abouttheirrelationships.Asalways,Iappreciatethesupportandpatienceof mypartnerDonnaWorbywhohasbeenbymysidethroughmanystresses anddeadlinesovertheyears. Yvette:ThankstoTamSangerforsustainedefforts,enthusiasm–andforall careful checks! Phew! Thanks to the British Sociological Association (BSA) FamiliesandRelationshipsstudygroupwhichI’vehadthehappyopportu- nitytoco-convenewithValGillies,alsobasedattheWeeksCentreforSocial and Policy Research, London South Bank University. I have found many newandvaluedrelationshipsandinspiringcolleaguesattheWeeksCentre, including Jeffrey Weeks, Janet Holland, Tracey Reynolds, Elaine Bauer, ChamionCaballero,YvonneRobinson,NicolaHorseley,EmilyFalconerand Francesca Stella (and many others including our valued visiting scholars). My PhD students Jaya Gajparia, Ellis Ciruelle and Jill Wilkens continue to fill me with optimism, as do now (almost post) PhDs Victoria Mountford andMichelleAddison–allnamestowatchoutfor!And,ofcourse,echoing sincerethankstoallauthors. ix