1 Magic Motivation From stuck to success in days By Kirsten Long “True to its title, this expert and easy-to-use book combines wisdom, inspiration and practical guidelines in a way that really is magical, confirming Kirsten Long's status as one of the very best in the field.” Pnina Fenster Editor GLAMOUR MAGAZINE SA Visit MY BLOG: http://coach4life.co.za/blog/ Twitter: Coach4LifeKL 2 Copyright @ 2011 Kirsten Long All Rights Reserved. The material in this electronic publication is protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties, and as such, any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is strictly prohibited. The material in this electronic publication may be stored only on one computer at one time. You may keep one additional copy on CD or disk for backup purposes. You may not copy, forward, or transfer this publication or any part of it, whether in electronic or printed form, to another person or entity. Reproduction or translation of any part of this work without the permission of the copyright holder is against the law. Coach 4 Life, P.O. Box 2315, Cramerview, South Africa, 2060 Contact: [email protected] IMPORTANT You may only view this eBook if you are the person who purchased it. You do not have resell rights or giveaway rights to this eBook. 3 DEDICATION I dedicate this book to my husband Dave and my children Morgan, Natasha and Cayla whose presence in my life is essential. THANKS To my Mom who read through the first version with an eagle eye To my sister Terry for website and testing assistance To Michelle Brownlee Smith for editing DEFINITIONS Motion  to move Motivation  the act of giving someone a reason or incentive to do something  to move to action Motivator  the reason for action Motivate  to give someone a reason or incentive to do something 4 Table of Contents Foreword .............................................................................................................................. 7 How to use this workbook ............................................................................................................ 7 In preparation ............................................................................................................................ 7 The book is made up of five different elements: ........................................................................ 7 When you see these symbols… .................................................................................................. 7 How can I get the most out of this workbook? ........................................................................... 8 Introduction ....................................................................................................................... 10 Reasons for lack of motivation ................................................................................................. 10 Take care of yourself ................................................................................................................ 10 Consequences of lack of motivation ......................................................................................... 10 Can motivation be negative? ................................................................................................... 11 Chapter 1. What is motivation? ...................................................................................... 12 Chapter 2. I just don’t feel like it! ................................................................................... 14 Chapter 3. Motivation myths .......................................................................................... 18 Myth 1: I have to be motivated before I start working ............................................................... 18 Myth 2: My boss/company/spouse/another should motivate me ............................................. 18 Myth 3: Fear is a good motivator ................................................................................................ 18 Myth 4: I am not motivated ........................................................................................................ 19 Myth 5: Motivation is only for work tasks .................................................................................. 19 Myth 6: Giving rewards motivates people .................................................................................. 19 Chapter 4. Motivation truths .......................................................................................... 22 Truth 1: Motivation is a luxury – you don’t have to have it! ....................................................... 22 Truth 2: Motivation is catchy ...................................................................................................... 22 Truth 3: You’re motivated by the consequences of your work.................................................... 22 Truth 4: Start the work, motivation will follow ........................................................................... 23 Truth 5: Motivation is a habit ..................................................................................................... 23 Chapter 5. Your motivators ............................................................................................ 25 Chapter 6. Dirty fears that stop you ............................................................................... 34 Chapter 7. Procrastination .............................................................................................. 39 Chapter 8. Don’t break bad habits .................................................................................. 44 Something extra ................................................................................................................ 48 Chapter 9. Best practice .................................................................................................. 49 Chapter 10. Self-reflection ............................................................................................ 52 Chapter 11. The right attitude ....................................................................................... 57 Chapter 12. Powerful YOU ............................................................................................ 64 Chapter 13. You and your world ................................................................................... 70 5 Chapter 14. Morbid mediocrity ..................................................................................... 76 Chapter 15. Where are you going? ................................................................................ 80 Chapter 16. Failure = feedback ...................................................................................... 84 Conclusion .......................................................................................................................... 88 References .......................................................................................................................... 90 6 Foreword How to use this workbook In preparation Buy yourself a beautiful journal and pen. Alternatively, create a special folder on your computer where you will do the journal work suggested. The book is made up of five different elements:  Information and theory. This is the part you’ll need to read.  Journal work. This offers you an opportunity to learn and reflect (the reflection part is an important part of the work).  Quotes. These support the theory.  Practice. Exercises for you to do that will consolidate your learning and help bring about change (the action part of your work).  Key ideas. These summaries are found at the end of each chapter and serve as a quick reminder of what you have learnt in the chapter. When you see these symbols… …it’s time for Journal work. Wherever you see this sign in the book, take five minutes for yourself. Breathe yourself into a calm, self-reflective space. Square breathing always works for me:  Breathe in while counting to four.  Hold your breath while counting to four.  Breathe out while counting to four.  Hold your breath while counting to four.  Repeat four times Then, do the exercise in your journal. You may want to write the page number of the exercise in your journal for cross-referencing purposes. Take your time and write honestly. If possible, write for a minimum of 10 minutes. This is for your eyes only – the more honest you are, the more you will learn and grow. 7 If you do not feel confident about journaling, refer to my book Journaling Joys. …it’s time to Practice. This is a practical exercise for you to follow. It’s different to journal work where you are required to reflect. These exercises are actions that you can take to bring change to your life. Follow the instructions given. …it’s time to reflect on the Key ideas. After each chapter, you’ll find a summary of the content and important points to remember. How can I get the most out of this workbook? This book is written in a way that you can choose the best route for you:  Either work through the book from beginning to end. This will give you a complete understanding of all aspects of self-motivation.  Or, pick the chapters where you believe you’re having difficulty and work through those first. The book is written in a way that each chapter is an entity on its own and doesn’t require the previous chapter in order to be understood. On that note: when you work on a chapter, complete the work from the beginning to the end. This is especially true of the journal work. When you get to a journal exercise, do it right away before reading the rest of the chapter. This is because some exercises work better when you do them fresh, before reading the theory behind it. To give yourself the best chance of success, do the journal exercises as you come across them. As with life, the theory is useful, but change only comes about when you take action. This includes not only physical action, like making a telephone call, but includes mind action like changing your thought patterns and beliefs. Mind changes are possible because you can consciously focus your mind on something. For instance, if I suggest that you spend two minutes listing the things you are grateful for in life, you’ll find that you are quite capable of doing this. Many 8 of your beliefs are unconscious but once you become aware of them (through journaling or other exercises) you can consciously let go of that belief and replace it with a more affirming belief. My understanding of action includes this kind of practice and exercise. The most important consideration to changing your motivation levels therefore is that you must take action. The first action you are going to take is to pick up this book and decide how to work with it. Secondly, you will begin reading. Yes, action gets things moving – and your journey has begun. Take on all the journal work – this is an important part of the journey of discovery for you. Complete all the exercises as this is part of creating change. Small changes every day make for a lifetime of success. Commit to working though this book. Take your time (don’t even try to do it all at once!). If you read the whole book and try to implement the changes in one go, you’ll lose motivation and be back at square one. Try spending a whole week on a chapter. Get those changes under your belt before you embark on something new. You may find one or two chapters make all the difference for you anyway. You can end each day flipping though all the key ideas to make the knowledge part of you. Working through the book means that, in time, you’ll shift your motivation levels. NEVER, EVER GIVE UP! 9 Introduction Reasons for lack of motivation There are many reasons you may lack motivation. The most common ones are:  Low self-esteem  Lack of purpose and direction  Bad health  Depression and anxiety  Addiction This book is based on the premise that you’re a reasonably self-regulating person and that you have the ability to take some steps forwards. Now is a good time to ask: “Can I help myself with the help of this book?” Or, “Do I need to see a professional?” This book will NOT cure depression or stop addictions. Take care of yourself If the majority of your days are spent feeling overwhelmed, abandoned, unworthy, directionless or numb, you may need to get professional help. Using this book or other ‘self-help’ material may leave you feeling worse off. Start with a general health checkup and follow your doctor’s advice going forward. Consequences of lack of motivation Lacking motivation can have devastating effects in your life. As you read on, you’ll discover that you DON’T have to be motivated to achieve BUT it helps! Most of us suffer from the consequences of being unmotivated in many different ways:  You struggle to get things done.  You feel like you can do more with your life but you don’t know how.  Your heart sinks when you look at your to-do list.  You sometimes dread getting up to face the day.  You enter a vicious cycle – the more unmotivated you feel, the less work you do and the worse you feel.  You feel dissatisfied with yourself and your life. If you feel like this every now and again – and everyone does at some point – that’s okay. When you feel this way every day for most of the day, your happiness levels plummet. The wonderful news is that you can change. Starting right now! 10