What’s the worst thing you could hear your best friend, who you’ve always secretly been in love with, say? That would be telling another girl he could envision her being his wife.

I just about died when Gannon Raferty, the boy who used to borrow my pencils in elementary school, said that to the lead of the reality dating show he was cast on. Though he didn’t win her heart, he’s now a bona fide sensation when he returns to our college and moves back into the off-campus house we share.

The torch I carry for him has always been one-sided; I’m head-over-heels, soulmate-level into him while he views me as a lovable kid sister. So I decide this school year will be the one where I move on, where I finally attempt to open my heart to another. After all, if he can make declarations of undying love to someone he just met, but not to me, that’s the biggest wake-up call I could ever receive.

Until one night early on in the semester, when we accidentally sleep together. Because of course he’s going to confess his feelings now, when I was ready to give up on there ever being an us.

But just as Gannon starts admitting exactly what I’ve always wanted to hear, I get devastating news. And suddenly, I don’t want to risk losing him as a best friend. I’ve already lost too many people I love, and am on the brink of adding one more to that list.

If our romance goes south, I don’t how I’ll ever come back from it. Not only the crushing heartbreak, but the fact that we can never go back to how we were again.