STOCKHOLM UNIVERSITY Department for Asian, Middle Eastern and Turkish Studies Japanese characteristics associated with the concept amae Bachelor’s Thesis in Japanese Studies VT 2015 Kaj Otaki Supervisor: Akihiro Ogawa   1 Table of contents 1.    Introduction   3   Background   3   Introduction   4   Purpose   4   The  Definition  of  amae   5   Previous  research   5   Material   6   Method   7   Research  questions   7   2   Amae  and  related  concepts   8   Definition  and  theories  regarding  amae   8   Amae  and  inappropriateness   11   Folk  Psychology  and  inappropriateness   12   Positive  and  negative  amae   14   Distance  in  interpersonal  relations   14   Interpersonal  concepts   15   Vertical  and  horizontal  relationships   16   Verticality  in  Japan   16   East  and  West   18   3   Analyzing  Japanese  aspects  associated  with  amae   20   Amae  and  hierarchal  relationships   20   Temporary  suspension  of  restraints   20   Important  terms  in  interpersonal  relationships  in  Japan   21   Amae  and  cuteness   22   Amae  and  sexuality  in  contemporary  Japan   22   Western  dependence  and  amae   23   4     Discussion   24   Amae  as  curry  favor   25   Linguistic  aspect   26   Own  experiences  of  amae   29   5   Conclusion   30   6   Summary   31   Acknowledgements   32   References:   33     2 Transcription and references Japanese terms used in this essay will be italicized. Names and terms will be transcribed using the modified Hepburn method, unless they are known names of people and or locations such as “Tokyo”. The word amae will appear in its verb-form amaeru, and as an adjective: amai. Some researchers express the verb form as “perform amae” or “request amae”. This paper will express it as amaeru or amaeteiru as well as perform or request amae. Hence, an “amae requester” will also be described as person who is “amaeteiru”. Japanese words with significant characters will be translated and explained as footnotes. Translations are done by myself unless otherwise specified. 1. Introduction Background When one finds oneself in a country speaking a foreign language, one might find different traditions, mindsets and conceptions of human behavior. The need to rely on dictionaries or translators when there is no common language of communication may arise. However one may quickly discover that many expressions, phrases or words have no equivalent in the target language. Words describing concrete objects or movements such as ‘chair’ or ‘walk’ usually have equivalents in most languages and cultures. Meanwhile words of an abstract nature may not have equivalent counterparts due to varying conceptions and specific needs for them. Words for basic emotions such as happy, sad, angry may commonly be used in most languages, but words like empathy, which are commonly used in many western countries have no equivalent counterpart in some Asian countries. Anthropological studies have been conducted in Papua New Guinea, which showed that the local people had different conceptions of empathy compared to speakers of the English language.1 Similar discrepancies can be found in industrialized cultures with unrelated languages. The Japanese language has many words and concepts that not only lack an equivalent, but also are difficult to understand without prior knowledge of the culture and social interaction. One such term is amae, which is a word that has received international                                                                                                                 1  Maria  Lepowsky,  “The  Boundaries  of  Personhood,  the  Problem  of  Empathy,  and  “the  Native’s  Point  of  View”  in   the  Outer  Islands”,  in  The  Anthropology  of  Empathy,  Experiencing  the  Lives  of  Others  in  Pacific  Societies,  ed.  W.   Douglas  Hollan,  and  C.  Jason  Throop,  (New  York:  Berghahn  Books,  2011),  43.     3 attention after a book written by the Japanese psychologist Dr. Doi Takeo. I have known of the word amae since I was a child, because my father is Japanese and we speak Japanese. I first encountered research concerning the concept during my studies at Kyoto University, and found it interesting because of the versatility of the word and the fact that it could not be translated. This is why I chose to write my bachelor’s thesis on amae. Introduction Japan has several cultural terms that have been researched by Japanese and foreign scholars over the years. Terms such as amae are shrouded by ambiguity and sometimes abstract concepts. As Japanese culture has received international attention, many Japanese words are becoming internationally known. People in Sweden, for example, generally know words such as sushi, kimono, katana, samurai, ninja, manga, anime, sake and lately even ramen. These are nouns that sometimes appear in popular culture and lack a variety of interpretation in most modern contexts; a samurai is a Japanese katana-wielding warrior in a kimono, and requires little to no understanding of Bushido or the teachings of Hagakure. The samurai have been romanticized in novels and movies over the years and have been gradually introduced in to Western popular culture as well. However Japanese terms describing behavior or emotions have yet to receive comparable attention. Amae is a term that is considered an emotion as well as behavior. The term is very common in the Japanese language and it is commonly associated with the behavior of children. Purpose The purpose of this study is to analyze why and how amae is considered Japanese, and to research if it is the aspect of dependence that makes amae considered unique. I will not evaluate the empirical validity of the statements and claims of any researcher mentioned in this study, because I lack knowledge and training in the field of psychology. The purpose is to research what they consider Japanese about amae. A term that can be used to describe the behavior of a child, which in another context can mean a social skill or simply inappropriate behavior, is very versatile and requires social knowledge and experience to understand its implication in different settings. The purpose is to comprehend the Japanese essence of the interpersonal interactions involving amae.   4 The Definition of amae The foreword of the English translation of “Amae no Kozo” written by John Bester describes amae as:  “[It  is]  the  behavior  of  a  child  who  desires  to  spiritually  “snuggle-­‐up”  to  the  mother,  to  be   enveloped  in  an  indulgent  love…  By  extension,  it  refers  to  the  same  behavior,  whether   unconscious  or  deliberately  adopted,  in  the  adult.  And  by  extension  again,  it  refers  to  any   situation  in  which  a  person  assumes  that  he  has  another’s  goodwill,  or  takes  a––possibly   unjustifiably––optimistic  view  of  a  particular  situation  in  order  to  gratify  his  need  to  feel  at   one  with,  or  indulged  by,  his  surroundings.”2     Amae is therefore a behavior and emotion that adults can adopt, that can be enacted in many situations, and hence becomes an important key to understand Japanese mentality. Amae is translated as dependence in modern Japanese-English dictionaries, and yet there is a word in Japanese that corresponds to dependence in English. The two are not synonyms. Amae is the behavior and emotion that can be seen in a parent-child relation; the relation between an infant and its parent, in which, the infant is aware of its mother being independent from it. Amae is a request for self-indulgence and to receive love and care. This parent-child relation is according to Doi the ideal relationship in Japanese mentality.3 The word amae is similar to the word amai, which is an adjective meaning that something is sweet in flavor, and it is also the adjective-form of amae, which is the nominal form. The word can be combined with other words to produce colored or nuanced words such as amaenbô: a wheedling child, amayakasu: a verb meaning to baby, spoil or pamper. According to Doi, cultural concepts such as enryo (show of restraint), uchi (in-group) and soto (out-group) can be contrasted to the parent-child model of relationship where there is little or no modesty, hierarchy or sense of unfamiliarity.4 Previous research Amae received international attention after Japanese psychiatrist Doi Takeo published his book “The anatomy of dependence” in 1971. The psychology of amae has been a topic of discourse, and its implication and indigenousness have been discussed. A current leading author on the topic                                                                                                                 2    John  Bester,  foreword  in:  The  anatomy  of  dependence,  Takeo  Doi,  Kodansha  International  Ltd,  1986  (1971),  8.   3  Doi  Takeo,  Amae  no  Kôzô  甘えの構造,  (Tokyo:  Kōbundō  1976  (1971))  ,    34.   4  Ibid.,  38-­‐39.     5 of amae is Professor Susumu Yamaguchi of Tokyo University, who has been involved in empirical research of amae, both in Japan and abroad. I have chosen to primarily use the works of Doi and Yamaguchi in order to establish an understanding of amae and its significance to Japanese interpersonal relationships. In their works, there are references and theories built upon the observations and suggestions of prominent researchers within the subject. It is my understanding that the theories of these two scholars will provide a comprehensive overview of amae. Doi’s work will provide information on the view of amae on which most of the discourse is built upon, and Yamaguchi’s view will provide a view on amae situations in everyday life, from a folk psychological perspective. Yamaguchi further explores amae interactions involving manipulation, suspension of social restraints and in vertical situations, providing evidence from other researchers and experiments. He was involved in an experiment conducted in the USA, which proved that amae exists outside Japan. The study titled “Amae in Japan and the United States: An exploration of a “Culturally Unique” Emotion”, also explores positive and negative emotions associated with amae in both Japan and in the USA. Material The material used for this study consists of books and articles written by Japanese and foreign scholars in the fields of psychology and sociology. The main works used in this study will be “Amae no Kozo” by Doi and the articles written by Yamaguchi and his colleagues. The books provide different perspectives on the topic of amae in both Japan and abroad, and the articles include a study performed in the USA, which proved the existence of amae as an emotion and behavior in the West. In Yamaguchi’s article “Further Clarifications of the Concept of Amae in Relation to Dependence and Attachment”, he emphasizes the importance of ecological validity in the definition of amae and attempts to demonstrate how laymen use the word amae. The material will be used to extract theories and facts about social interaction involving amae. The material contains psychological analyses of amae in different settings, which will not be the focus of this study. The provided examples and settings of amae will be analyzed in an attempt to determine the factors that are considered Japanese about the behavior and emotion. Yamaguchi provides examples and claims regarding amae in vertical and horizontal relationships, which will be explored in order to study aspects related to Japanese culture and customs.   6 Method The association of amae to Japan and Japanese culture will be researched through interpersonal relationships in Japan. The existing research will be analyzed in a qualitative method to examine the examples of amae episodes, along with related Japanese concepts concerning interpersonal interactions. A comparison of the inappropriateness-approach of Yamaguchi and Doi’s mother- child relation based approach will be made in order to understand the difference of their perspectives on the subject. The context of the amae situations given in the publications will be compared and analyzed to comprehend how they are associated to Japanese mentality. The comparison between these perspectives and the amae situations provided by the authors is expected to clarify the elements of amae associated with Japanese culture. Research questions What facets are considered Japanese regarding amae and is dependence important for its understanding? Thesis statement This study will compare and analyze two major perspectives on the concept of amae, with the purpose of determining the factors associated with Japanese culture. I will combine my own observations and experiences regarding amae and interpersonal distances in Japanese society, with the theories of the prominent researches mentioned earlier. I will argue that the function of amae lies in interpersonal relationships concerning the perceived distance, or familiarity, between individuals in vertical and horizontal relationships, and that these social interactions entail distances to people that can be contrasted to close interactions involving amae. I will point out the importance of understanding the relation of amae to dependence, while emphasizing that dependence is only one aspect of amae. My concurrence with Doi regarding the linguistic uniqueness of amae will be explained, and I will explain why I do not fully agree with explaining amae as dependence. I will claim that the vertical and horizontal relationships, in which amae functions, is the unique facet of amae, which consequently is associated to the concept itself. I will include my own experiences with amae and interpersonal relations in both Sweden and   7 Japan in order to compare and explore their significance to amae as a unique Japanese concept.     2 Amae and related concepts Definition and theories regarding amae The following is the definition of amae from the Japanese dictionary Super Daijirin. 1. To beg for things or care, and intentional overfamiliar behavior.5 2. To feely indulge in the goodwill and kindness of others, and to behave carefree expecting the goodwill and kindness of others.6 Below is a translation from a Japanese-English dictionary from 1974: Presume upon another’s love; behave like a spoilt child; play the baby ((to)); be coquettish; coquet; fawn on.7 Amae is often translated as dependence in modern Japanese-English dictionaries. The definition as dependence is attributed to the result of Doi’s research on amae. He explains amae as an imitation of a parent-child relationship, and suggests that this is dependence. Doi uses the basic behavior of a child towards its parents, typically a mother, to explain the foundation of amae. A child’s desire to be loved by its mother is the essence of amae, and according to Doi, this desire remains in adults and is expressed in various ways in interpersonal relations.8 Early in Amae no Kôzô, Doi recalls a dialogue with his professor during his studies at the Faculty of Medicine at the University of Tokyo, when Doi suggested that amae is unique to Japan and professor replied, “Do you think so? Even puppies amaeru”.9 Though Doi assumes his professor meant that such a universal word that even includes the behavior of animals must exist in other languages, the fact                                                                                                                 5  ① 物をねだったりかわいがってもらおうとして，ことさらになれなれしく振る舞う。甘ったれる。 Mono  wo  nedattari  kawaigatte  moraôto  shite,  kotosarani  narenareshiku  furumau.  amattareru   6  ② 人の好意親切を遠慮なく受け入れる。また，好意親切をあてにして，気ままに振る舞う。Hito  no  kôi   shinsetsu  o  enryo  naku  ukeireru.  Mata,  kôi  shinsetsu  o  ate  ni  shite,  kimama  ni  furumau.   7  Koh  Matsuda,  Kenkyusha’s  New  Japanese-­‐English  Dictionary,  Fourth  Edition,  Revised  &  enlarged.  1974,  22.   8  John  Bester,  The  anatomy  of  dependence,  1986,    10.   9  Doi,  1976,    「そうかね、君。子犬だって甘えるよ。」  7.     8 of its nonexistence intrigued Doi, and led him to believe that there is a connection between amae and Japanese mentality. Doi recounts speaking with a Japan-born English mother of a patient he was treating, whom he was speaking in English with until she said: “this child did not amaeru much”, in Japanese.10 When asked why she said it in Japanese, she replied that it could not be expressed in English. In the English publication of “The anatomy of dependence”, the translator John Bester adds an explanation in parenthesis regarding the child who did not amaeru, which is not present in the Japanese edition: (in  other  words,  she  kept  herself  to  herself,  never  “made  up”  to  her  parents,   never  behaved  childishly  in  the  confident  assumption  that  her  parents  would   indulge  her)11 It suggests that bilingual individuals proficient in English as well as Japanese have difficulties expressing thoughts concerning amae in English. The reason why there is no explanation in the Japanese edition, is simply because there is no need for it. Japanese readers will understand the implication, and also that it is difficult, or even impossible to express it with a few words in English. He notes that newborn babies do not amaeru, and it is only when the child starts to desire its mother when one can say that “this child is amaeteiru”.12 Meaning that a child must develop mentally to a level that it can recognize its mother as separate from itself, and the desire for its mother is what amae is. In other words, until the child starts to amaeru, the mental state of the child is only an extension from its time in the mothers’ womb.13 Therefore Doi suggests that amae may be described as “to psychologically deny the fact of separation from its mother”.14 Which can be thought of as affirming its dependence to the mother, and this is why amae is often regarded and translated as dependence. Yamaguchi and Ariizumi Yukari note in their article: “[Because] Doi’s definition has been broad and has fluctuated over time, researches have criticized the ambiguity in his definitions and some have proposed their own definition of amae”,15 and based on his own and previous research he claims that amae can be defined as                                                                                                                 10  Takeo  Doi,  The  anatomy  of  dependence,  trans.  John  Bester  (Tokyo:  Kōbundō,  1986  (1971)),  18.   11  Ibid.,  18.   12  Doi,  1976,  「この子は甘えている」80.   13  Ibid.,  81.   14  Ibid.,  82.   15  Susumu  Yamaguchi,  Yukari  Ariizumi,  “Close  Interpersonal  Relationships  among  Japanese,”  In  Indigenous  and   Cultural  Psychology,  Springer  US,  2006,  164.     9 “presumed acceptance of one’s inappropriate behavior or request (Yamaguchi, 1999a)”.16 He refers to Doi’s later publications where he responds to criticism, and elaborates further on his theories. Yamaguchi’s definition is close to the second definition of amae, provided by the Japanese Super Daijirin dictionary. Doi read Michale Balint’s book Primary Love and Psychoanalytic Technique, and realized that what Balint had explained as “passive object love” was in fact amae.17 Doi explains a characteristic of amae by comparing the relation between close personal relations and strangers, i.e. people with no previous relations or connections. Therefore, the further away from a parent- child relation a relationship is, the less familiar it is.18 Familiarity regarding amae interaction is prevalent in studies performed by Yamaguchi and Niiya, which focus on the empirical validity rather than psychological analyses and speculation. The closeness of a relationship determines the level of intimacy that allows amae to be expressed successfully. The relation between the self and others is affected by the sense of familiarity. An individual is assumed to behave differently with individuals of close relation in contrast to strangers, especially during formal situations. Honne (one’s true intentions or feelings) and tatemae (one’s outward appearance/face) are concepts relating to the behavior towards others in Japan. One would normally not show one’s honne toward superiors or unfamiliar individuals. That would be considered inappropriate, and appropriate behavior is highly regarded in Japan. The Japanese are oriented in in-groups, uchi, and out-groups, soto, Behavior and attitudes in each group are to be adjusted accordingly. Words such as gyôgi (manners,) and reigi (etiquette,) are generally associated with upbringing, parenting, and familiarity, as manners and etiquette become less important with familiar individuals than strangers. Modest, humble, polite or reserved behavior is guided by the sense of appropriateness in any given situation. Familiarity and self-indulgence are restrained by reservedness. Therefore, the ability to read, or sense, both vertical and horizontal distances is imminent for amae behavior. In order to comprehend the contexts in which amae functions, one must understand some aspects of interpersonal relationships in Japan involving inappropriateness, vertical and horizontal distances.                                                                                                                 16  Ibid.,  165.   17  Michael  Balint,  Primary  Love  and  Psychoanalytic  Technique.  New  York,  Liveright  publishing  Co.,  1965)  as  cited  in   Amae  no  kôzô,  14.   18  Doi,  1976,  35.     10