Islamic Family Life Ethics A Series of Talks by Ayatullah Hus ayn Mazaheri Transla ted by Sayyid Tahir Bilgrami Published by i World Islamic Network Islamic Family Life Ethics A Series of Talks by Ayatullah Husayn Mazaheri Translated by Sayyid Tahir Bilgrami Published by World Islamic Network Contents Translator’s Note ................................................................................. i The First Talk ..................................................................................... 1 1. Compatibility Between Faith and Nature ................................... 1 2. The Nature of Knowing or Understanding Allah ....................... 2 3. Prayer is Instinctive .................................................................... 5 4. Importance of Prayer .................................................................. 8 5. The Prayer of Hadhrat Fatima Zahra (s.a.) ............................... 10 The Second Talk ............................................................................... 13 1. Islam and Human Inclinations.................................................. 13 2. Life Under Islamic Purview ..................................................... 19 Basic Life ................................................................................. 19 Comfortable Life .......................................................................... 21 Luxurious Life .............................................................................. 23 The Third Talk .................................................................................. 25 1 Biological Scientists on Matrimony .......................................... 25 2. Qur’anic View of Matrimony ................................................... 26 3. Matrimony in the Light of Tradition ........................................ 27 4. Importance of Sexual Instinct in Islam .................................... 29 5. Moderation in Dowry ............................................................... 31 The Fourth Talk ................................................................................ 35 1. Obstruction to Matrimony ........................................................ 35 2. Making Lame Excuses ............................................................. 35 3. Unnecessary Show ................................................................... 40 4. Excessive Mahr ........................................................................ 44 5. Lavish Walima or Reception .................................................... 45 A Wrong Practice ......................................................................... 46 The Fifth Talk ................................................................................... 49 1. The Dowry (From the Bride) ................................................... 49 2. Miserliness ............................................................................... 53 3. Summary of Discussion ........................................................... 57 The Sixth Talk .................................................................................. 59 1. The Sanctity of Home .............................................................. 59 2. Household Chores .................................................................... 64 3. The Effect of Ill-Gotten Wealth ............................................... 65 The Seventh Talk .............................................................................. 69 1. Mutual Understanding at Home ........................................... 69 2. Blaming Each Other ............................................................. 69 3. Spirit of Understanding at Home ............................................. 72 The Eighth Talk ................................................................................ 79 1. Cultivating the Habit of Sin ..................................................... 79 2. Abandoning the Veil is a Moral Exhibitionism........................ 80 3. The Second Trait ...................................................................... 82 4. To Make Excuses for Sin ......................................................... 83 5. Backbiting and Slander ............................................................ 84 The Ninth Talk ................................................................................. 89 1. Formation of a Household ........................................................ 89 2. Modesty and Bashfulness ......................................................... 94 3. Giving Virtuous Progeny to the Society .................................. 95 The Tenth Talk ................................................................................. 99 1. The Benefits of Matrimony ...................................................... 99 2. Peace of Mind .......................................................................... 99 3. Man and Wife - Ornaments for Each Other ........................... 100 4. Man and Wife - Source of Comfort for Each Other ............... 102 The Eleventh Talk .......................................................................... 107 1. Training Oneself ................................................................. 107 2. Need of Patience .................................................................... 108 3. Home, a School ...................................................................... 113 4. More than the Late-Night Prayer ........................................... 114 The Twelveth Talk ......................................................................... 117 1 Love and Blessings at Home .................................................. 117 2 Actions that Reduce the Love - Anger .................................... 118 3. Abusive Language and Beating.............................................. 119 4. Insulting Talk ......................................................................... 121 The Thirteenth Talk ........................................................................ 127 1. The Birth of Imam Hasan (a.s.) .............................................. 127 2. Conceit ................................................................................... 128 3. Types of Conceit .................................................................... 129 4. Stubborness ............................................................................ 131 5. Unrealistic Expectations ......................................................... 132 6. Not Accepting Criticism ........................................................ 134 The Fourteenth Talk ....................................................................... 135 1. The Causes of Continued Love and Affection ....................... 135 2. Trivial but Important .............................................................. 135 3. Taking Care of Cleanliness and Hygiene ............................... 135 4. Expressing Friendship ............................................................ 137 5. Giving Gifts ............................................................................ 138 6. Asmayee and the Patient Woman ........................................... 139 The Fifteenth Talk .......................................................................... 143 1. Polygamy and the Reasons Therefor ...................................... 143 2. Need of Having More than One Wife .................................... 143 3. Marriage for Carnal Satisfaction ............................................ 143 4 Marriage of Compulsion ......................................................... 146 The Sixteenth Talk ......................................................................... 151 1. On Divorce ............................................................................. 151 2. Types of Divorce .................................................................... 151 Divorce of Necessity .............................................................. 151 Divorce for Carnal Satisfaction ............................................. 153 Exchanging Glances and Meeting Each Other ...................... 154 Divorce of Compulsion .......................................................... 156 The Seventeenth Talk ..................................................................... 161 1. Need of a Family .................................................................... 161 2. Condemning Stinginess in Material Needs ............................ 161 3. Need of Satisfying the Sexual Instinct ................................... 163 4. Need of Sympathy .................................................................. 164 The Eighteenth Talk ....................................................................... 169 1. Spiritual and Intellectual Needs ............................................. 169 The Nineteenth Talk ....................................................................... 179 1. Interference of The Parents .................................................... 179 The Twentieth Talk ........................................................................ 187 1. Obeying the Husband ............................................................. 187 2. Home and The Rule of Law ................................................... 192 The Twenty-first Talk ..................................................................... 197 1. Compatibility at Home ........................................................... 197 2. Love ....................................................................................... 197 3. Favouritism ............................................................................ 201 The Twenty Second Talk ................................................................ 205 1. Forgiveness and Forbearance ................................................. 205 The Twenty- third Talk .................................................................. 213 1. Suspicion ................................................................................ 213 2. Misunderstandings Crop Up .................................................. 213 3. Effects of Waswasa: Negative Thoughts ............................... 214 4. Grief ....................................................................................... 215 5. Suspicion ................................................................................ 216 6. The Dangers of Suspicion ...................................................... 217 The Twenty-fourth Talk ................................................................. 223 1. Waswasa of Action ................................................................ 223 The King of mankind ................................................................. 230