(cid:127) INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION CONCEPTS, SKILLS, AND CONTEXTS FOURTEENTH EDITION KATHLEEN S. VERDERBER Northern Kentucky University ERINA L. MACGEORGE Pennsylvania State University RUDOLPH F. VERDERBER, Author Emeritus University of Cincinnati with DOUGLAS E. PRUIM Purdue University, co-author Social Media Factor NEW YORK OXFORD OXFORD UNIVERSITY PRESS Oxford University Press is a department of the University of Oxford. It furthers the University's objective of excellence in research, scholarship, and education by publishing worldwide. Oxford New York Auckland Cape Town Dar es Salaam Hong Kong Karachi Kuala Lumpur Madrid Melbourne Mexico City Nairobi New Delhi Shanghai Taipei Toronto With offices in Argentina Austria Brazil Chile Czech Republic France Greece Guatemala Hungary Italy Japan Poland Portugal Singapore South Korea Switzerland Thailand Turkey Ukraine Vietnam Copyright© 2016, 2013, 2010, 2007, 2004, 2001 by Oxford University Press For titles covered by Section 112 of the US Higher Education Opportunity Act, please visit www.oup.com/us/he for the latest information about pricing and alternate formats. Published by Oxford University Press 198 Madison Avenue, New York, New York 10016 http://www.oup.com Oxford is a registered trademark of Oxford University Press All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of Oxford University Press. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Verderber, Kathleen S., 1949- Inter-act : interpersonal communication concepts, skills, and contexts/ Kathleen S. Verderber, Erina L. MacGeorge ; with Douglas E. Pruim. --Fourteenth edition. pages cm Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 978-0-19-939801-0 1. Interpersonal communication. 2. Interpersonal relations. I. MacGeorge, Erina L. II. Title. III. Title: Interact. BF637.C45V47 2016 158.2--dc23 2015020042 Printing number: 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Printed in the United States of America on acid-free paper We dedicate this, the fourteenth edition ofI nter-Act to: PROFESSOR RUDOLPH F. VERDERBER, PH.D., AUTHOR EMERITUS, who, though no longer able to do that which he so truly loved, has left his imprint on this book. His influence on all basic textbooks in our field will be felt for many years to come. ( 7 Brief Contents ( "\ PREFACE XXI • Understanding Interpersonal Communication PART 1 t CHAPTER 1 AN ORIENTATION TO INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION 3 t CHAPTER 2 SOCIAL COGNITION: UNDERSTANDING OTHERS AND OURSELVES 35 t CHAPTER 3 INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION 65 ) t CHAPTER 4 VERBAL MESSAGES 97 t CHAPTER 5 NONVERBAL MESSAGES 131 t CHAPTER 6 COMMUNICATION IN THE LIFE CYCLE OF RELATIONSHIPS 161 Developing Interpersonal Communication Skills PART 2 t CHAPTER 7 LISTENING EFFECTIVELY 197 t CHAPTER s HOLDING EFFECTIVE CONVERSATIONS 223 t CHAPTER 9 SUPPORTING OTHERS 253 t CHAPTER 10 USING INTERPERSONAL INFLUENCE 283 t CHAPTER 11 MANAGING CONFLICT 317 Using Communication Skills to Improve Relationships PART 3 t CHAPTER 12 COMMUNICATING IN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS: LONG-TERM ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS, FAMILY, AND FRIENDS 351 t CHAPTER 13 COMMUNICATION IN WORKPLACE RELATIONSHIPS 387 GLOSSARY 429 REFERENCES 443 PHOTO CREDITS 455 INDEX 457 vii Contents PREFACE XXI Understanding Interpersonal Communication PART 1 AN ORIENTATION TO INTERPERSONAL t CHAPTER COMMUNICATION 3 A MODEL OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION 5 MESSAGES 5 THE PURPOSES OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION 13 WE SHARE MEANING 13 WE MEET GOALS 13 WE MANAGE OUR PERSONAL IDENTITIES 14 WE CONDUCT OUR RELATIONSHIPS 14 CHARACTERISTICS OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION 15 INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION IS TRANSACTIONAL 15 INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION IS IRREVERSIBLE 16 INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION IS SITUATED 16 INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION REVEALS RELATIONSHIP QUALITIES 16 INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION IS CONTINUOUS 17 ETHICS AND INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION 18 THE DARK SIDE OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION 19 DIVERSE VOICES: LESSONS FROM AMERICAN EXPERIENCE 20 DIVERSITY AND INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION 21 INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION COMPETENCE AND YOU 22 ACQUIRE INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION KNOWLEDGE 22 INCREASE INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION SKILL 23 BE MOTIVATED TO DEMONSTRATE COMPETENCE 24 DEVELOP BEHAVIORAL FLEXIBILITY 25 CREATE INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION IMPROVEMENT PLANS 25 viii ~ E SOCIAL MEDIA FACTOR UNDERSTANDING SOCIAL MEDIA AND INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION 26 TRAITS OF SOCIAL MEDIA TECHNOLOGY 27 A QUESTION OF ETHICS: WHAT WOULD YOU DO? 29 SUMMARY 30 CHAPTER RESOURCES 31 KEY WORDS 31 ANALYZE AND APPLY 31 COMMUNICATION IMPROVEMENT PLAN 33 SOCIAL COGNITION: UNDERSTANDING OTHERS AND OURSELVES 35 MAKING SENSE OF THE SOCIAL WORLD 37 ATTENTION 37 MEMORY 39 JUDGEMENT 40 DIVERSE VOICES: JUST WALK ON BY 44 SELF AND SOCIAL COGNITION: THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF 46 SELF-CONCEPT AND SELF-ESTEEM 47 SELF-CONCEPT DEVELOPMENT 48 MESSAGES, FEEDBACK, AND SELF-CONCEPT 51 IMPROVING SELF-CONCEPT AND SELF-ESTEEM 53 SOCIAL COGNITION AND EMOTION 55 DEFINING EMOTION 55 TYPES OF EMOTIONS 56 IMPROVING SOCIAL COGNITION 57 ~ E SOCIAL MEDIA FACTOR FORMING IMPRESSIONS ON SOCIAL MEDIA 58 A QUESTION OF ETHICS: WHAT WOULD YOU DQ7 60 SUMMARY 60 ix